HA! What a visual description. Get some 1/8" ribbon and a needle with a large hole. Thread the ribbon and go in/out, in/out around the bottom of the waistband. Now tie a bow in the front when you put them on, and you're good to go.

Velcro dots for the coveralls.

You're going to spend more money on repairs trying to salvage things than it's worth. Good money after bad. Cut your losses.

As for the elastic, it can't be done by hand sewing. Briefs don't have a casing to slide elastic through, so you can't do that.

Cut off the elastic and use the rest of the cloth for rags.

Life's to brief to wear bad briefs!!! Get new ones.

Hmmm, Ole Joyful likes to save $, so need to put this in a way he can relate to and know he is saving big $.

Hey OJ, Mail me your briefs and I will replace the elastic in each and every pair. I am a wonderful seamstress (if I do say so myself). I will do this for only $10 a pair!
Now, doesn't going out and buying new ones sound like a much better "deal"?

Get thee to the store!
Kathy G in MI

I am voting for having Kathy fix 'em up for you. I think that is the best option. I am pretty sure she should take photos of her handiwork when she is done, so we can all see how well she did.

You are too much Joyful! LOL

Bungee cords?

LOL

Thanks for a couple of chuckles!

LOL

Fer cryin' out loud, buy some more, OJ!! Then use that time you're spending fretting about how to repair something that is well past it's prime, to do some good deeds for the needy or help out a neighbor, etc. Or just sit and enjoy the singing birds and the sunsets!! At our age, it's time to enjoy life a bit without feeling guilty about it. Cut 'em up and use for dust cloths! Bettye in Sunny Arizona

You are a valuable human being and deserve to wear undies that fit and are not all stretched out!

It may seem wasteful, but the old, stretched-out ones can be cut up for cleaning/polishing rags, as was mentioned earlier.

Life is too short to wear baggy worn out underwear.

OJ, you never cease to amaze me. Buy some new underwear. Talk about wasted energy.

You have entirely too many pairs of briefs, according to a survey in GB. Men there own three pair: One to wear, one in the wash, one to spare. Gads! DH has a dozen pair. (I hate to buy these things as they always look huge in the package, then you wash them and they shrink -- but not always the same amount of shrinkage! Grrrr! The ones made in Mexico wear differently from the ones from...Honduras or wherever!)

I used to put 'iron-on' patches on the knees of DS's coveralls when he was a little crawler.

OJ -- just buy some new briefs and coveralls!

Good timing. Lots of underwear on sale now for back to school but adult sizes are on sale too.

Or,if you can "hang in there" for just another month or so, you'll be into a jacket again and can transfer your overexposure worries to other parts of the anatomy.

Hang on (literally) till Christmas... put them on your Christmas list. New underpants and not a penny out of your own frugal pocket.

OJ I am the Queen of Thrifty FRUGALITY. I will share this with this group and you for the sake of your wallet. This is a true story.

Over the course of the years I had done the wear the underware untill they sag frugal thing! I would squeeze a penny so hard I got $.03+ of value. I finally got over that in regards to undergarments for good reason.
While in the grocery store one fine busy day, I sneezed and my fatigued, over taxed, old granny panties dropped to my ankles. It would not have been so em-bare-assing had they not tripped me. Where upon falling to the floor my exposed bottom was akin to the full moon and I was knocked silly by the impact of my head conecting solidly with a vegatable bin edge. There I was on the floor of the most popular grocery store in the area at a peak time of day with my rotund rearend as red as tomatoes sitting on the floor in the produce isle bleeding profusly form the wound on my head with my few intack marbles spinning. Other customers and employees are hovering around and trying hard to help or not laugh! In my shaken state it was hard to tell which.
The manager called an ambulence, which also required a police escort. I was taken to the local ER where after seeing the head wound I was given a Cat scan, injected with a numbing agent stitched and kept overnight to watch for concussion, a perscription written for a mild pain killer for the next day. The bloody blouse and skirt I was wearing was left to dry and my shoes went missing. The only thing left was my brassire. In the end my frugal decision to save on the undergarments was a not well thought out plan and not only for the visual disply of my posterior publicly the cost was in extreme.

new blouse $ 11.00
new skirt $ 12.00
new shoes $ 16.00
eremgency response team fee $ 75.00
ambulence ride to hospital $250.00
Cat scan $325.00
Dr to read cats can $140.00
ER Dr. to treat me $467.00
ER fee for use of room and inventory $160.00
Overnight stay in Hospital $535.00
Taxi ride back to the store $ 17.00
perscriton for pain meds $ 12.00

______________________________________________
Total $ 2,020.00
NO JOKE FOR REAL $ 2020.00 hows that for HIND SIGHT?

Cost of 2 6pks of Granny panties $14.00

Do the math and then go shop for some nice new undergarments and a new gardening jumpsuit.

Heres to clean fresh clinging underware on our ample arses.
CT

Oh dear.

Long ago in my early 20s I had a similarly frugal boyfriend whose underthings were truly shameful, an unhealthy looking shade of gray, more holes than fabric, but the elastic held for some reason. Yours have nothing on his!

If there is - or might be - a woman companion in your life, spare her sight of the old ones and buy news ones! If not, who is the wiser? The dollar store has large packs of safety pins.

And if you do buy new ones, avoid bleach as it does terrible things to elastic.

Old underwear usage, brings back memories.

My sister had to cut hers up to keep her husband from using them for rags in the garage. He would pull them out in front of his male friends.

I'm surprised that no one accused me of authouring a cover-your-ass-inine kind of story!

Thanks, Colleen, for the description of how to pull a drawstring through a tube ... but our briefs have the elastic sewn to the fabric: no tube ... and if I make one, the poor things'd be reduced to those skimpy things that the young fellas seem to like. I may be in second childhood, or near it, but that kind of brief is too brief for me!

Thanks also to you, Kathy in MI for your (I was going to say, "generous" ... but let's relabel it as) "considerate" offer: one of the best that I've had, all week! One would think that postage to nearby MI shouldn't be too high ... but it is, after all, trans-border, so the postage will be substantial. In the light of recent developments, I think that I'll make an effort to manage the situation myself. Will let you know if I'd like to reconsider.

Thanks also to the rest of you for your information: I was interested to learn that many men have only 3 pairs of briefs. I want to have enough clothing, linens and things to make a load of wash to do at a time. And thanks for your suggestions, many of them following a similar line of thought.

I got some pants at the Goodwill a while ago, but didn't look for briefs.

I hope that you're off to a good start on a happy, fruitful week, everyone.

ole joyful

Goodwill does sell brand new underwear here, but haven't priced them so you might find some bargains there, if you can find your size.

Sue

Ole Joyful...you, and Colored Thumb, have me howling with laughter. I'm not laughing at your pain, but at your colorful tales.

Tell me, what is your waist size? What are the size of these poor underwear? I'll see what kind of elastic I have to share in my stash!

Ok, I'll say that now I've heard everything! :-) I understand frugal, but for goodness sakes, underwear, especially men's, is pretty darned inexpensive unless you're destitute, I think. And I think you're not. If you are, then you need some public assistance if you can't even buy underwear. If it's frugality only, I applaud people's sense of wastefulness and don't like a disposable lifestyle, but c'mon. Look at how long you've had them, how much you paid for them, and then figure how much it's ended up that you've paid per week for them. I'd say you got way more than your money's worth!

For goodness sake - there's frugal and there's downright ridiculous; this, in my opinion, is ridiculous. My idea of frugality is to use something until there's no use left in it. You are beyond that and you know that. Invest, at the most, $35 and get yourself a week or 2's worth. Then worry about something else that is a real problem.

Suzieque

Colored thumb ... I'm so sad that not only was your thumb colored ...

... but your head was red ... and spinning ... and your rear was red, as well ... though I'm not quite sure why that might have been the case.

Truly ... hind sight does add to one's store of knowledge!

Too bad that you weren't a resident of Canada at the time of your incident ... the direct financial cost of your discomfiture, at least, would have been much reduced!

I am thankful not to have been subjected to any such experience, thus far.

And hope not to be, in future: I've heard that, when lifting loads, it's wise to bend knees rather than hips ... looks like that would be a wise course to follow when one's undies give up on being shiftless, as well. While most consider it unwise to court shiftless friends ... surely one does look for that quality in undies!

As I mentioned earlier ... I am thankful for the crotch that there is in those pants (and coveralls) that I wear.

Have you considered using slacks?

One further update, folks - the package of elastic that I bought has "haute couture" written on the side, just so that you know that I do have uplifting aspirations ... and like to keep the uplift operational long-term.

Thanks, everyone, for adding to my store of knowledge, today ... and enjoying a little fun in the process.

Quite a number of the world's problems are caused by folks who take themselves (and their ideology) too seriously, it seems to me.

ole joyful

Hmmmmm. I do believe the answer might be to just go ahead and garden nekkid. I already garden half-nekkid barefoot and mostly in the rain, and my neighbours have only threatened to call the police, oh, a handful of times ;).

I wonder if maybe the elastic is not stretching, but rather you are a victim of that age old problem suffered by men. As they age, their rear disappears. Could it be your "assets" are shrinking - due to the Ontario economy maybe???

Ah - yes, OJ, I did wonder if you were maybe "funnin'" us, or endeavering to entertain us as you often like to do with your stories. Pretty creative!

Thank you thank you OJ (and Colored Thumb too) for once again putting a smile on my face for the day. LOL

I think you should have your own column. I absolutely enjoy your wit, your obvious love of life and wisdom.

OJ, I think the best thing to do is....
Cut the wayward elastic off of the old unders and use it to tie up plants in the garden. Use the cloth for cleaning the car or other outside dirt removal projects.
Then, look me up on my page, send me your address, and you will have new unders in no time....I promise

Trin

**who hates the thought of Ed losing his panties in public***

Hi again lucky gardnr,

The new garden is quite secluded, when the sod cutters are gone ... but they mostly work early in the morning and leave with a semi-load of skids loaded with sod by something a bit after nine ... and return about 3 to 4 in the afternoon, having laid all of that sod. Though I seldom get an early start, I have a certain reluctance about working in the garden in the early afternoon. When things are grown some (and the stuff has been growing like crazy, the last couple of weeks) it would be hard to get a good view of my nakedness from the fairly travelled road a couple of hundred paces away from the garden that I've been using for three years ... and a native tobacco shop is located about 250 yards across the field. I guess I'd need to drop in from time to time to see whether they keep a set of binoculars on the counter ... to rent out, maybe?

I think that I could stand it, myself, there being no mirrors nearby.

However, there's a big problem involved.

The mosquitoes would love that state of affairs, as they like a feast as well as people do ... and when it contributes to the propagation of their kind, so much the better!

But this gardener wouldn't - when mosquitoes bite me ... I itch!

I should have son take a picture of me in my outfit, as I have swathed the remnants of an old T-shirt or undershirt into a covering that goes from top of head, under peaked cap (to keep sun off of face) and flows down over the top of the coveralls, leaving just most of my face open, being safety pinned just below the mouth (couldn't cover the mouth, for fear that it might muffle my speech ... and one needs a drink, from time to time ... of preferably unstrained water). It would hold back the ice cubes, of course.

I hope that you've all had a memorable Sunday ... and are mostly prepared for the upcoming week ... and may it be a good one.

ole joyful

This thread has given me much reason to smile. Like the others I vote for new ones and find new uses for the old drawers.

There's a field of soybeans between the garden and the road (baccy shop, also) which would cover me part of the time ... but I do like to stand up, from time to time, somewhat difficult though that may be after one has been on one's knees for an hour or two weeding, picking peas, etc. I guess that I could make a quick dash to behind the corn row, these old legs being up to a short run without a problem.

o j

Treat yourself..........get new ones ur worth it

You are good guy!

Dear friends,

I am em-bare-assed: I goofed!

I thought that I had kept you all updated with the episodes of this saga as we went along ... but a review of my earlier posts shows that I missed a fairly substantial addition to the story, as follows:

Update on the (problem/dilemma/nuisance):

Found some elastic in the Dollar Store - 1" x 36" (too short - I like to breathe) or 3/4" x 48" ... so I got some.

Also a strip of adhesive "hook and loop strips" (Velcro being a registered trade mark) 3/4" x 30" ... but that's O.K. ... only a short piece'll be needed to hold the ends of the elastic together. Should be unbulky enough to be comfortable. And can use it in sequence with whichever of the about ten or so slack-jawed units seems to need such assistance at any given time.

In order to relieve your anxiety somewhat, I have about a half dozen with waistbands that still maintain their original snap, so I do have the luxury of having a choice of which to wear.

Plus a box of 180 safety pins of varying sizes, mostly quite small: backup. Remember the Scouts' motto: "Be prepared".

Total cost about $3.50: about the price of one pair of briefs.
_____________________________

This made part of my later post somewhat difficult to understand, so here it is again:

One further update, folks - the package of elastic that I bought has "haute couture" written on the side, just so that you know that I do have uplifting aspirations ... and like to keep the uplift operational long-term.
______________________

Hi again Dances,

I'd wondered whether my distaste for waste had jumped a cog and made me try to keep waist reduced, as well ...

... but then I thought that, were I to carry all of that extra poundage, the poor old creaky knees would be doing a great deal more complaining ...

... and figured that revising/remanufacturing the briefs was a much more desirable pursuit!

And it looks as though I'll have a substantial amount of surplus hook and loop strips, so can use them to secure part of the opening in the front of the coveralls due to the laxity of the zipper's concern for that all-important security function!

As the coveralls have an overlap that covers the zipper when it's zipped up, I think that there's enough space on the outside of the zipper to attach the companion pieces of velcro.

Well ... most likely somewhat less necessary, now that I have the means of securing the briefs where they're supposed to be.

If the plan as envisaged works ... and I'm fairly sure that it should!

As for the reduction in my assets ...

I find that I'm fairly comfortable when sitting on a slightly padded chair here at the computer ... or at table (leftover from Uncle's time) ... and haven't yet felt the need to avail myself of the single-person cushions piled at the back of the church (possibly afraid that too much comfort might induce sleep?).

And I'm thankful that, living fairly frugally, I use less than my pensions (except when I have to send some extra funds to the Canada Revene Agency) and the assets aren't needed for living expenses, making them more or less "play money" ...

... which may be at least part of the reason that I was surprised at how little anxiety I felt last fall when they suffered something over 25% reduction in value in the course of less than a month (partially rcovered since, as I didn't sell any, which would have turned paper loss into real loss).

Good wishes for the week ahead, folks ... and, bearing in mind that when one's retired, every day is holiday ...

... keep increasing your knowledge of how to manage that income and those assets, to hasten the day that you can choose that early retirement.

And, should you suffer pretty well permanent lay-off, maybe in your 50s, and have a skill that's difficult to market, will enable you to have breathing room, maybe take partial retirement while you regroup and plan what to do next.

Always nice to have a cushion ... under one's rear end ... and in one's pocket book, as well!

ole joyful

Throw those suckers away and get you some new drawers. Or use the old ones for rags to wash your car. There is such a thing as being too frugal. You can't take it with you, and if you think your heirs won't be happily spending what you have scrimped and saved, you are wrong.

Next dilemna is how to use all of the square of the toilet paper. Must not waste the corners......... Lets see, 450 sheets per roll x 4 corners is 1800 wasted corners. Think of the forest that could be saved and a little extra coin in the pocket.

Do you use a chlorine bleach on your undies? Chlorine can kill elastic. It also plays hob with the lyrca in stockings and will cause those to loose their grip.

Rent a wife.

I see your problem, OJ. If you made a waistband, not only would they be smaller than a pair of budgie smugglers, your vocal register would move up about an octave :-) The only way to replace the sewn on elastic is to cut it off and sew on another lot, with a sewing machine. There's also a trick to getting it to fit. Unless you have a sewing machine and are experienced in stretch sewing, which I suspect you aren't :-) take everyone's advice and get some new ones!

jemdandy,

I've been able to keep them in fairly respectable condition without using any bleach. Some have a hole or two ... or even several ... but several have no holes at all.

cbtexas,

I suspect that you've been reading my thread over on "Money Saving Tips", of about 5 years ago, updated occasionally since, which I titled recycling toilet paper, but that was erroneous, as the story related not to product that had been reprocessed, but reused as originally issued.

Colleen,

my experience using the rag belt leads me to the view that an elastic belt around just below the original elastic would quite likely do the job, if it's just slightly snug and if I allow a bit extra length on the velcro, it'll allow me some possibility of varying the tension as required to keep the briefs as high in life as necessary ... without making me red in the face, and allowing me to breathe.

hummer,

I'm not sure about the "wife" business ...

... seems to me that some of them are designing ...

... and quite a few get ideas in mind that are awfully hard to even amend, let alone change.

Maybe a temporary one would work out well.

What an abundance of useful advice has been forthcoming, around here ... and a nice diversion on a summer Sunday. Not quite a brief story about briefs, though.

Kitchen Tables sure are great places - especially with such an interesting ... wise ... helpful ... and jolly ... population as one finds around here!

May you all enjoy a fruitful week (as in "Fruit of the Loom", that is).

ole joyful

No ole joyful I don't visit the money savings tips forum so I missed your toilet paper recycling idea. I just see your penny pinching ideas here.

I was going to suggest a bungee cord but that might be more expensive than new underwear.

Somehow I don't think new underwear would bring OJ the same comfort it might bring some of us, so if fixing the ones he has is what he wants, that's what he should do. I wish I had even just a small percentage of his frugalness.

You're so right, paula. Buying new ones would be no fun at all--where is the challenge in that?? Good luck in figuring out a solution, OJ.

Joyful, you have made my day...I'm LOL...not AT you, but at your dilemma.
Your solution:
Cord (hatband) elastic
1 blunt needle with big eye (more commonly used for needlepoint)
just weave the cord elastic through the old elastic, leaving a short end...
put on the drawers and pull the elastic to a comfortable fit
tie it with a VERY secure knot....
I would use a couple of rounds of the elastic...1/3rd and 2/3rds of the way down the old elastic. If you can't find either item, let me know I have lots of both in my various "stashes"!
Hugs to you,
J

(In respite from the garden, where I have about 27 stakes to install to stake the tomatoes, plus some more to hold the peas upright ...

... and the strings between them ... no, not elastic ones - that'd let the tomato branches down to the ground ... but it might work for the lighter pea vines - and peas). The edible-pod peas are enjoyable, and the vines grow taller than the regular ones (maybe related to the fact of the pods being bigger??).

jaybird,

Glad you enjoyed the journey.

Need any more pop can tabs? I have some blue, some red, some green (from Dutch-based Heineken) and some larger than usual ones, mainly from beer cans. Canadians not only make beer that's stronger than dishwater ... there are some larger cans found along the roadside from time to time ... each, whether small or large, thin or fat worth 10 cents each at the beer store.

The 3/4' strip of elastic in its neat little package ... and the hook & loop stuff sitting beside it, are looking up at me from the computer shelf, rather accusingly, implying, 'Well, boss, you bought us and brought us home. Now what do you plan to do with us?'

But that's O.K. ... I'm not planning to travel in the car right away, so the lump at the back of the Rag Rope that was uncomfortable in an earlier trip isn't of immediate concern ... and I untied a long string and tied it in a different place, so there's a straight line across my back, now: the only trouble is that the current knot may interfere with the knot that I tie with each use.

Oh, well ... life do have its problems.

Hope you're all enjoying your week, so far. Try retirement: it's fun (if you're enjoying good health and with enough friends and enough bucks to get by comfortably!

My gardens (three times at least the size of last year's), are calling, and there are urgent needs awaiting attention.

'Bye for now - I'm enjoyed the interplay.

Rather - 'So long for now' - as 'Good-bye' sounds so final.

Especially to seniors.

ole joyful

Here is a link that might be useful: Recycling, actually Reusing, toilet paper (using quotes will block it)

OJ you really need to invest in some new drawers. You are depriving some young lady from adding to her wardrobe.

Linda

NO, No, Say it ain't so!! ROFLOL

(blushing)

Darleen

Bwahahahahaha. You guys are a hoot!

OMG......I needed a laugh so badly today. Thanks for the big pick-me-up!

Stretched out Waistbands be d@mned....it's when you hold them up to the light and can completely see through them, is when it "might" be time to consider replacing those tidy-whiteys.....at least that is my DH's theory.

ole joyful, you are a true & rare gem! Bless you!

Hi Lindy Lu Who ...

... well, a WA-HO-O-O (not a boo-hoo) about that one!

Thank you for making such a wonderful addition to this discussion!

I have some Hanes ... and they're blue, too!

But ... I've never seen them configured like that!

Or ... so occupied, either, for that matter.

Also, with elastic still intact - so they're not available for this purpose. Yet.

Isn't this a wonderful idea?

No more worries about the shortcomings (or, more accurately, long goings) of the elastic: in fact, if it were even somewhat tight, it might cause a problem.

If any of you would like to use my old undies in such a fashion, I'd be glad to spring for the postage, even trans-border, to help the ancient briefs find some useful things to do throughout their retirement! Or, more accurately, delay their retirement!

I can guaratee that I'll not send holey ones ... and you don't need to worry about the "baggy" that someone referred to, as the only part that's stretched is the elastic (possibly due to not having large body parts to ride herd on).

And no stained or dirty ones, either ... solely ones that look to be only in slightly used condition.

Then, with these still-useful things having their remaining useful life taken care of, I can go buy new ones with a happy heart!!

Adding it as an extra errand when going to town to take care of several needs at a time ...

... and turning off the engine and coasting downhill, and as approaching signal lights when they turn yellow, half a block away ... to be passed by people pushing the gas pedal ... then hitting the brakes about a hundred feet before the "Stop" line.

I staked a couple of rows of peas and picked some of the regular and of the edible pod kind. Took them to a nighbour who treats me well, and their daughter and SIL were there, playing cards. Daughter loves peas, I gave her several of the edible pod kind ... and she shelled them and ate them.

En route home, I thought that I should have taken the edible pod ones back and given her some of the regular kind ... if she was going to shell them, anyway. Had some of each kind for supper - second picking - delicious!

I hope that you had an enjoyable weekend ... and are looking forward to the coming week with anticipation.

ole joyful

Not to make light of the dilemma ... no, "problem", or "earthquake", if you prefer ... facing many who've been put on permanent lay-off/"downsized" (how do you like that as a fine euphemistic word for the four-letter [well, five-lettered] "fired"??) (or six-letter, "shrunk" - it sure does shrink one's ego down several sizes, to put out a hundred resumes with nary a single response ...

... at what they'd expected to be about 3/4 the way through their career ... and carrying skills that are not popular, as the other employers in related industies are going through similar upheaval ...

... and even more frightening if they'd been choosing to live from paycheque to paycheque ...

... but ...

... you can understand my concern at the trauma that might be in store for my dear undies were they to be shrunk by having their waistband unceremoniously cut away ... to tie up garden plants, no less ...

... and be demoted from holding up the jewels of their owner/master ...

... to being downgraded to the indignity of **polishing his 21-year-old car**, yet (that hasn't known the meaning of the word "wax" for some time) ...

... and all that prior to a decent retirement!!

[[Can you believe that the foregoing is one single sentence?]]

Hope you're enjoying Tuesday.

ole joyful

P.S. I am sitting here visualizing my "old" (or so it seemed at the time) high school English teacher's bald head going red with anger when I registered some slight disagreement with his judgement when he'd accused me of going on too long with a sentence ... that must have been not more than a quarter (a fifth?) that long!

o j

Glad I could help, OJ.

Linda