The four of us have become closer as we've aged.

When we were young, I (the oldest) was closer to my youngest brother (the baby). My sister and another brother (the middle two) were close.

As we mature we have tended to set aside our differences... plus we realize the importance of family.

I'm the youngest (44) and I have a brother (45) and two sisters (49 and 52). I don't have much of a relationship with my brother because he lives far away. My two sisters live close. My oldest in the same town, the other about half hour away. I have a good relationship with my 49 year old sister. Her and I go shopping with my mom, email, go on trips with my mom and basically keep in touch. My oldest sister makes very little effort if any at all to keep in touch. In the past if she has ordered something from one of my kids from school, she will mail the check rather than arrange to meet me so I can pick it up. For some reason she feels like she has to have a personal invitation to anything. SHe will never initiate shopping, get together, etc. If we want her there, we have to call her, email her and invite her. She is fairly pleasant when she is around us but never makes any effort at all to initiate anything. Her religous, political, worldly views are pretty much completely different than all of ours -that's not a problem for us but I think it is for her. So hopefully she will come around some day and see what she is missing but I'm afraid it will take a tragedy and she will be the one who is regretful.

We all became closer and more appreciative of each other, except for older sister) as we left home. Our brother tunes out here and there, but now that we are senior citizens, he appreciates the value of family more than ever.

Moreover, since he recently fully retired, he wants to put more time into being together for frequent visits. He even seems to have taken on two of my adult kids for Sunday dinners, visits, etc. (and it is a mutual admiration society between my kids and our generation). My two oldest kids live close to him now that they are out on their own, and he has discovered that they are delightful individuals in their own right. He had not paid much attention to them or us as they were growing up.

My younger sister and I have always been close, especially once we left home. Her husband has become my DDs go-to uncle for advice on home repair and upkeep, and he has been wonderful to her with his time and skills.

Older sister is busy far away with her family and career.

I have 2 sisters and one brother - I'm the youngest at 45. I've never been close to brother and probably never will be. As for the sisters, we were closer when my mom died 11 years ago, but now life has happened and we are not so close anymore. My other 2 sisters are much closer to each other than they are to me probably because they are still the same religion we grew up with and the same that most of the other local relatives are. They go on vacations and don't invite me. I truly feel like the outsider with these 2 sisters. I highly doubt I'll ever be truly close to either of them. I do go to all the family outings and do talk to them on occasion on the phone so we are by no means estranged. I just don't feel I have a lot in common with them. On another note, when I was younger I wasn't particularly close to my siblings either. I'm not sure why. I think I am a bit more of an introvert and they are not.

I only have an older brother (4 1/2 years). I just turned 40, he'll be 45 in late October. We are not very close at all but I do think we are closer than in our childhood. Growing up we were NEVER required to interact. We lived very separate lives within the same house. He moved out to live with our dad when I was in Jr. High. So I never really had that "that's my big brother" feeling with him. We are still strangers in many ways although I think he would like that to change.

I sound very much like Angela's older sister. I have an inability to impose myself on others and will not invite myself into other peoples lives. I am always up for a visit or to join in with others, but not unless I am invited. My parents are the same way. My brother doesn't get it. My religous and political views, although different, don't factor in.

I'm 45 and the oldest of three. My sister (41) and I have grown closer in the last few years. I believe it's because our lifestyles are more similar now that her children are grown. We were never close growing up - I left for college when she was entering high school. In our 20s and 30s we saw each other mostly for family trips or holidays. She was busy raising kids (I don't have any) and my job moved me around a lot. Now, we email or talk to each other three or four times a week. She lives only 45 minutes away so we often get together for shopping, lunch, Scrabble, Netflix - or just to sit on the porch.

She's closer to our brother (43) than I am but neither of us are very close to him. He is career Air Force and she will go visit where ever he happens to be stationed. I don't.

My mom is in her early 60's and is estranged from her younger sister (by a year and a half) and the "baby" her brother by another 5 or so years.
They parted ways after my grand parents passed. Sister caused alot of havoc and brother said..if you talk to her I won't talk to you..so she chose her brother (sister relationship has always been difficult, even as children) but now the brother is off in his own life and doesn't talk to my mom either..
I think she feels very "alone" in that aspect. She has me, hubby and the boys only.. My brother even avoids her as much as possible. Which means I do "double" duty.

My brother and I get along great now..but he's very busy in his life and forgets about us...so there are months without contact.
Although he'll be in town for business today, and will watch my oldest play baseball tonight and maybe stay over before he heads back to Portland.

I think my only brother (who is less than a year younger than me) and I are growing further apart as we age. I do see him probably 7 or 8 times a year, but he has always been one to "play" with the kids (he has 3 boys) and not get involved in the adult conversations. His life still revolves almost 100% around his kids (now all teenagers) so it is hard to really know who he is today. His wife on the other hand always sits with the adults and joins in with the conversation and I love her dearly! Not that she doesn't talk about the kids... but she knows when to shut up about them. :-)

I hope somebody understands what I'm talkin'about.

Sister and I have not visited with eachother in over 7 years and she lives only 1 1/2 hrs from me. Her choice!

My sisters are in England we are not close at all.

I'm so sorry for those that don't have a close relationship with siblings. I had an older brother and he and I were close, after we became adults. My younger sis and I are very close. I have two sons (one deceased recently) and one daughter and they have been close, mostly after adulthood. I remember promising my daughter, years ago, after another sibling quarrel, that the day will come when she will actually like her brothers. She told me recently that she didn't believe me when I told her that, way back then. Dottie

I've often wondered the answer to that question myself, because I have 5 sisters and 1 brother and we have been much closer as we became adults.

I think one thing that helps is that we don't live close to one another. We e-mail, call and have our own family website at family.com. We also get together once a year, at least for a long weekend. Not enough time to bicker, I guess, because we don't. I thank God for my family every day.

I'm really close with one sister. We fought like cats and dogs when we were kids. Mainly because we had to share a room and she was a little pest--haha! Now we talk at least an hour once a week, sometimes more.

I think about that, too.

My mother is very close to her siblings. She has 4 younger sisters an 1 older brother. Their father was killed when they were kids (ages 17 to 5). Their mother died almost 20 years ago (siblings then ages 41 to 29, so still young to be without living parents). It was around that time the 3 middle sisters, all unmarried, bought a house together and all still live there. So, yeah, they are very close. Although Mom is 2000 miles away, she is very close emotionally to her siblings. Sometimes I think she puts up with a lot from them, but she will b/c they mean so much to her. For being so far apart, she will vacation with them and they all still manage to spend probaby 4-6 weeks of the year together. I think part of it is that neither of their parents is living and they depend on each other, have so much shared grief, and they really do laugh a lot together. They take care of each other, a safety net to each other. There is a special bond, almost exclusve, when they are all together.

I don't think I will ever be that close to my brother. I just have 1, he a year younger. I see him when we visit my parents, he lives in the same town as them and even works with my dad. They are all 500 miles from me. Growing up I think we had a relatively normal relationship: played some, fought some, blackmailed and advised each other. If he needed something and I could help, I would gladly. I have a couple times in the past. We have same-aged kids and are in similar places in life now, but we have taken different paths to get there. For almost all of our adult lives we have lived at least 500 miles apart. If I wanted to call him, I'd have to call my mom to get his phone number/address first, I don't think I have his current contact info. I have never been to his home, he has never been to mine. We meet at my parents. It's not because we don't get along, we are just not close. We get along fine. Although he his only a year younger, I feel much older than him. Our parents, if I am honest, do not treat us the same. It is subtle, but they treat me like they have more confidence in me and with more approval. I think that is at the root of why DB and I are not close. There is an unspoken air of me being slightly favored. It's only recently that I see it enough to admit it, but it's there.

Since I have 4 kids, I think about this often, wondering what they'll be like with each other as adults.

I think my sister and I are closer b/c when we were young we were very different. We didn't share interests and didn't enjoy being together. We fought. As we got older we were wives and then mothers, and that gave us some common ground. Later we had the care of our parents to share, and that's a very common ground. Also, I think as you get older you realize that there's no reason to "sweat the small stuff" and your priorities align more. You sure have a history together! She's known me longer than anyone else.

I only had one Brother and we were always very close. I also to care of him in his last days.

I am very close to all of my Cousins as well. Even though we have some who are 2000 miles away. We still visit and remain close.

Gayle

My sister and I are almost 6 years apart, so we have never been really close.
We were getting closer, then she met a guy and got married, moved out, etc...so that all changed.
She also moved almost 2 hours away, so that makes it harder.
We get along when we do see each other, we're just really different people.

No sisters to tell you about. My DB (five years older) and I have always been pretty close. We've gotten closer, also, the older we've gotten. When we lost our dad - I looked at him and knew that nobody else in the world was feeling just as I was right then. I love him very much and he would slay dragons for me.

I'm the baby of the family. There were four of us now
there are three. One of my brothers passed away. So
its now my older brother and sister. I guess we're closer
now then before. Their both retired and I'm still working
so I don't get to see them much. Although,I did see my brother last month and my sister a few months ago.

My brother that is 2 years younger than I are close. As kids we fought like heck, ut when he went to Viet Nam back in the 60s, we became real close and have stayed that way. I have another brother who is 7 years younger than I. Neither my 2 year younger brother nor I want anything to do with him.
I have a half sister two years older than I who lives in Hawaii. She doesn't have a computer. I wish she did so we could e-mail a lot. We stay in touch often by way of the telephone, but it sure would be nice to hear from her every day.

Linda

I am the oldest of 6 and consider myself pretty close to all of them but one of my brothers, and that is because I don't approve of some of the life choices that he has made. My 5 siblings all live in the same town but I live an hour and a half away, close enough to visit but far enough to avoid squables. They are always at each others houses for meals, exercise together and watch movies. My 2 oldest girls spend the weekends a lot with my 2nd sis to give me a break during pregnancy so I see some of my sibs once every 2 weeks or so. I think I am closest to my youngest sister who is 10 years younger than me, we are both a little different from the rest of the family ( a little wacky) but I still talk on the phone to my sibs at least once a week and my mom everyday.

Stacie
girlsingardens

My middle sister and I are 2 years apart. We are as close now as we were as children. We say we're soul sisters!

I have another sister who is 9 years younger. Growing up, sometimes she was more like my "baby" than my sister. I babysat her, drove her around, even completed her baby book! LOL. We are now closer than we've ever been. She is 36 with younger children and I am 45 with teenagers. We live a mile from each other.

Sheryl

I'm the youngest of 3 girls...my sisters are 4 and 5 years older than me. Now that I'm living in England I stay with them and my 2 daughters when I'm "home" over the summer. Before that we'd usually just get together about 4-5 times a year (usually with my parents) but I always knew if I needed them they would be there. Before I left Nebr. we lived an hour apart. I've enjoyed spending time with them now that we are more mature, we had a good life as kids, living on the farm we didn't have many friends over to play so we did things together and were very close growing up but as we got older, married and had families of our own life/work just got in the way. I'm very grateful that we are close now and I'm looking forward to next week when I'll be returning to Nebr and spending time with family again.
Diane

Not in my family. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters and we were all close growing up. There is no animosity between any of us. LOL We are all in the same city and my one brother lives 2 streets away and my other brother owns the grocery store I shop at and I rarely see him and my sister lives within walking distance.

I took care of all of my siblings children over the years, I am close to my younger brother Paul and he helps me out and I helped him out over the years. I am close to my oldest sister Marjorie and talk to her everyday but I couldn't live with her but I could live with my other older sister whom I don't see as much as I would like to. Lizzie took me everywhere with her when I was a little kid - she is 10 years older than me. Marjorie who is almost 18 years older was gone out of the house by the time I was born so I didn't really grow up with her.

My brother Ray lives 2 streets over and we have never been close but I am close with his wife and my nieces. I can just pop into their house any time or I stop by to chat when I walk by the house. I get invited over for dinner now and then or he will bring me a plate of food if they cook something special.

Not being close to my brother Donald bothers me the most I think. He is 9 years older. All those years I took care of my Mom only Paul was around to give me relief - or to take me on errands.

The night my Mom was dying they all showed up except my sister Lizzie who was working in Saudi Arabia at the time to say goodbye. They weren't there for us when we needed them the most. I don't know why they didn't but not one of my siblings offered to help pay for my Mom's funeral costs. I had to take the cash value out on my life insurance to pay for cremation and urn costs. I decided then not to have a funeral because I couldn't shoulder that burden alone and pay for the wake afterwards. I just thought it was odd - she was their Mother too.

I asked Donald why he stayed away so long and he said he should have supported me all those years. I asked him if he would be around more now that I would need my family more than ever and he said he would be there for me. That was the day after my Mom died and I haven't heard from him since - almost 6 years now. I have tried to call but his wife is really short on the telephone or they are out of town. I am going to try again to contact him and ask him why he bailed out on me.

We shared beds, we ate dinner together everynight growing up, and we played together. They had their own families and we all drifted apart.

Nobody stays in touch with anyone. I seem to be the one that it affects most. I make the effort to call my siblings or talk to them or check in on them. My Sister Marjorie can't be bothered because she says none of them call her. Paul sees our brother David at the store. Everyone asks me how everyone else is doing. LOL

I think my Dad was the glue that held us all together as a family but he died in 1984.

I miss my family. ...

Wow ! I just lost my Dad 2 weeks ago and I am still reeling with the "tension" between my siblings and I.
I think some families are just closer knit than others. Some are more loving and accepting, etc. You have different personality issues, some like to "take charge", some like to "sit back". I don't know how to answer other than to say, no, we are not closer. Wish we were but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

We live farther apart, and our families distract us, take up our time, and fill most of our emotional needs.

i'm not sure we've gotten further apart, but I know we haven't gotten closer.

My sister and I are very close. We always have been. We live about 8 hours from each other so we are on the phone all the time, we email and on most 3 day weekends either she comes to our house with her family or DH and I go to her house. We are very close to her kids and we think the world of her DH.

I have 1 sister and we are closer now than ever. She is 6 yrs older than me, so we didn't do much together when we were growing up. I always idolized her and her friends when I was little. Faith was a feature twirler for our school and her friends would come over to practice at our house. I loved to watch them. She moved away to the city right after high school graduation and eventually moved across the country. So we never got to see each other very often while raising our families. We did stay in touch by letters and phone. Now she is in Orlando and we e-mail regularly, phone occasionally and visit when we can. In fact she flew in on Monday to spend a few days here and we have been having so much fun. We are leaving in 1 hour to go see our little brother, who lives about 4 hrs from here.

I still soooo look up to my sister. She is so talented and the best sister a person could have! And her husband is the best BIL there is!!!

Ever since I became estranged from my family I have grown closer to my older sister. She is in her early 60's and I am 47.

Samkaren
your resident DJ

My only sibling was a half sister six years older and we fought all our lives...... she is now passed on but we were never close. We were just to opposite in everything. When she was ill towards the end we parted as friends but we were never "sisters", funny thing is her children were never close to her either and they remain close to me. No regrets, Budster

I believe that empty nests and retirement allow for closer relationships of siblings. In our retirement, my brother sister and I have become really close. We always had a good relationship with one another, but now we are able to spend more time together, even taking trips together including all the spouses. I have come to know both brother and sister all over again. I have always loved them, but now I have found out how much I really like them.

I am the youngest of 4. My sister is 12 yrs older than I am, and she has always been the 'outsider' of us. I was very, Very close to my one brother and his family...he is the oldest boy, and I think after dad died in '92, he felt he needed to be the 'go to guy'.

Well....so many things change when there is farm land, and one member of the family thinks that since they farm, it should just be handed to them (by their 3 siblings!)...by even lying about the amount of land. Then when they are caught in that lie, things can get pretty cold. And when they tell their children who I have loved as if they were my own siblings, not to have anything to do with you....it hurts and it is really maddening....but mostly hurt! We (3 siblings) would have done things much differently if we were not lied to...or at least apologize about the lie...nope (and he had YEARS (6) to make it right!)

I am not sure this all makes sense to anyone else....but it is the pits!!! I work for a Lawyer and he does alot of estates...we see this kind of thing happen to the siblings so much..but I would have NEVER thought it would be what I am in!