Both parents died, raising siblings
Hi everyone... this is my first visit to the site. I stumbled up on it today because I'm have a bit of a bad day and am missing my parents terribly. I will tell you all a little bit of my story.
My father died on December 8, 2006 of hepatic renal failure (he was morbidly obese and had bariatric surgery in 2005, his liver and kidney failure were complications from the surgery). He was 44. It was a horribly long and drawn out death, he was sick for about 4 months previous to his death. My father was the rock of our family, my mother had never been very stable and had battled an addiction to prescription drugs for most of my life (I am 21, by the way). Once my father died my mother fell into an even deeper depression and struggled for many months. She often talked about suicide (only to me, and only in her darkest hours) but I always got her talked back up. She was exasperating in her grief, could not move on and I was frustrated. We were such different people and grieved in such different way. She couldn't understand how I could funtion and carry on without my father and I didn't understand why she couldn't. In June of last year (June 28, 2008) my mother passed away as well. She was 45. She died of an overdose on a prescription medication. She was in and out of conciousness before she died and she kept repeating that she was sorry she took the medication and that she had messed up her dosage but there are always those questions as to whether or not she was trying to commit suicide or just unintentionally did it because she was trying to drown her pain (it was ruled accidental by the coroner).
I have 2 younger siblings who are 13 and 12. Now we are all 3 orphaned, and I have decided to continue raising them myself. I feel that I can do the best job out of anyone. We live in northern Indiana and the rest of our family is scattered throughout the south (Mostly in Alabama). It is excruciatingly painful and difficult but it's worth every second. I can't imagine the girls being anywhere else but with me. Thankfully my father had a trust set up for us and I am able to go to college without working and have enough to provide for the girls. I have been trying to find someone else that is the same age as me that has gone through this same thing but can't seem to find anyone (as you can imagine, it's a very rare case).
I miss my parents everyday, and it seems that I miss them even more the further away from their death dates it gets. I need guidance, or just some kind words.
Thanks for reading,