Laura,
Oh my goodness. I am praying for you, and your entire extended family. What a time for you -
I know what you mean about going on and on during a crisis like the energizer bunny and then crashing. That is how I seem to do it myself.
I'm so glad to hear that your mom is going to have the best of care whatever the spot turns out to be. How wonderful your brother is there. I do hope that is a lot of comfort to you. I know it's not the same as being there, believe me, but, you will have first hand information when he's there. But how you must yearn to be with your mom.
I can understand how you would want to bundle up your entire family, furry and otherwise.
I also know how hard it is to lose a furling, I have lost many over the years and I loved them all dearly. As I love the ones I still have! No matter how much it hurts when one of them has to be put down, I know I've given them as good a home as they could ever have wished for.
And I keep on the lookout for more little friends who need homes. I only wish I could take in more.
Thinking of you-
Faith

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I really appreciate it.

Laura

You have my sympathies as well. I sure hope it's a false alarm with your mother, or that if it is serious, that it's been caught early enough that they can do something about it. And losing a pet is hard enough at anytime! It's the special needs ones that get the closest to our hearts too...

I know what you're going through to some extent. My mother is getting on - she's 73, and has had a couple of cancer scares in the last year. She lives in Florida, so I can't just go visit anytime she needs a hand to hold. We also lost one of our kitties this summer. This was our fourth pet to die in the last few years, and I don't know if we'll be getting any more. It's so hard to go through it again and again.

Make some sort of memorial - it helps to focus you and you can go to it and deal with you grief in as big or as small segments as you can handle. When one of our kitties has died we have picked out a plant that in some way reminds us of the cat, and added it to our collection. It becomes a nice reminder of the kitty, and by taking extra special care of it the kitty stays close. Some day we'll have some land for a real garden and we'll plant some flowering trees in a "cat walk". We'll burry their ashes beneath the trees, and even after we're gone they'll live on in a way.

BP

That's a wonderful idea Bonnie. Right now I have several cremated remains of my cats .. 5 to be exact. My initial idea was to have their remains burried with me when I die. At the rate I am going, I will need a seperate casket for them all :o) Im only 40 and plan on having many more furry friends I cant not have them :o) I need their snuggles and sweetness to make my day complete :o) I have often thought of burying them (their ashes) in the garden but I dont think this is the home I will live in for the rest of my life .. I want their final resting spot to be somewhere I will stay until I pass.

I too hope and pray that the medical issues that my mother is facing is a scare. She is the most important person in my life .. she is such a wonderful person and a fantastic mother :o)
Thanks you for your support .. for listening and caring.

Laura

Well, I guess there's no other option but to wait and see what the tests say for your mother. That's the hardest part! Once you find out what they say, then you can go forwards from there, but it's the not knowing that I found the worst. My father was successfully treated for cancer about ten years ago, and after the diagnosis there was something almost like relief (well, that is, once we'd gotten over the immediate shock) - we knew what had to be done and the fact that there was nothing else to do kind of made it easier. I know that sounds odd, but that's the way it was. During the last year while we were twice waiting for the test results (I now hate the word "inconclusive"!) for my mother it was so hard to focus on anything else. I was so forgetful and distracted! It must be worse for you since you actually need to be mentally all there for your foster kids! At least in the summer you've got the escape valve of gardening. There's always the seed catalogues to look through for now :-)

I know I'm not serious when I say that I don't know if we'll get any more cats - I just don't feel like it right now - I know I'll change my mind. Neither DH nor I could imagine not having cats. Our two remaining boys are both 10 now, so it's been awhile since we've had kittens running around!

Right now we've got three urns of kitty ashes and one from a parrot - it kind of freaks people out when they ask what's in the little pots :-). We're definately not going to be in this place forever, so I haven't burried them yet either. I don't have room for anything bigger like a shrub or a tree, and I want something more permanant than a pot of daisies. Someday I'll get my "cat walk" - maybe I'll arrange to have my own tree there :-)

BP

Last winter my father was diagnosed with skin cancer .. he has always had lumps and bumps which were alway treated and nothing to worry about. So several years ago he complained of a tiny little bump on his shoulder .. it was always itchy. They burnt it off .. applied tons of various creams and it always returned .. turns out he has stage four melanoma. The spot was the size of a pin head and the scar he has has to be a one foot square and deep. They removed his lymph nodes, which got infected .. but they say once you have been diagnosed with stage four your life expectancy is only four to five years. Since then my dad has been running around like a madman trying to make sure everything is in order at the cottage and the house .. so my mom wouldnt have to worry about repairs. He has had the all clear from his doctors but he wont believe them. I have to admit he can be a pain in the butt, but I love him .. and I am jelouse that my brothers reside in the same hometown and get to see both of them all the time. Is it horrible to resent my husband for making me move down to Southern Ontario?? I know its not his fault but right about now I hate it here :o)

Last year both of my husband's parents passed away .. that was really stressful too. He isnt much of a talker so you never know how or what he is feeling. I guess now I know how he felt. Several months prior to his father passing his sister was diagnosed with throat cancer .. she is being treated but there is a spot that they cant remove. So the treatments continue. He isnt as close to his family as I am to mine .. but it still must be difficult.

I guess I will have to wait and see .. and yes the waiting is killing me!!! I seem to spend alot of time stareing at the computer hopeing someone will post something to trade :o) Or the new thing is to look up all of the germination requirements and latin names for all of the new seeds that I have recieved :o) It keeps me busy and on a bit of an even keel. I have even emailed those who I have turned down for trade and have been shipping out huge SASE bundles :o) The Child and Youth Worker I have that works in our home is working double duty .. I just dont want to be around the kids and their issues right now :o)

The kicker with all of this going on .... my vet is an idiot!!! I have been after her to check my kittens for two specific parasites .... after no word of a lie, 15 stool samples and me pushing her .. she ordered the tests ... they came back positive for both!!!! So, on top of everything else .. I have to give 9 animals two seperate pills twice a day for 21 days!!!!!!!!! Now I have to question if the elderly cat I put to sleep in the summer was suffering from the damn parasites!!! All of her blood work came back fine .. and her fecal sample .. checked at the vets .. was negative ... the other test has to be done at a lab. So maybe her weightloss was due to the parasites .. not cancer .. not FIP .. not anything but a damn parasite that she over looked. Whats done is done .. now I will be changing vets .. I should have done it ages ago when she miss diagnosed my other cat. Now its a done deal!!

Will it ever end??? And my husband askes me why I am so stressed out :o)

Laura

Laura,

My heart goes out to you cause I too lost a almost 3 year old female cat (she was small so she always looked like kitten)..it was Oct. 22nd this year. The vet said she had leukemia. I tried everything humanly possible; however I did not put her to sleep and I gave her a herbal medicine that prolonged her life for 4 months (vet said she would be dead in a couple of days)...it was the most wonderful four months with Baby Watskie (yah that's what we called her) and I know she knew it too. She who never went outside cause she was always scared...actually went outside with me and I spoiled the dickens out of her. Well miracles sometimes happen but it didn't for her. I was there and I held and talked to her as she was dying. She looked at me with this look like she was saying I don't want to leave you but we both got to say a final goodbye. I was grateful for the extra time and so was she. I have two others cats, one 14 and the other 6 and like you our family has gone through this painful experience so many times before. She is buried in our yard and I'm doing something special in that area come spring...even though I too know this will not be the house where I will finish the last days of my life.

My parents are: mom 93 and father 89...my mom had been diagnosed with lip cancer 2 years ago..she had a lump on her lip but my dad and I both did not feel that she should have the operation...okay it was only a gut feeling ( I have 2 brothers who live in the same time - I am 5-6 hours away - they both agreed she should) and for reasons I cannot explain, the lump started to heal and she has a slight scar that's it...My heart goes out to you cause a Mom is the most special friend one can have...all I can say is that I will pray for your Mom as others have prayed for mine...if you can't go see her (we too needed a cat sitter all the time and still do), call her as often as you can afford to...I have this long distance plan and I call her three times a week....and these are very special times for my mom, my dad and me. If you have friends where you live....I mean real friends like all our garden buddies here on Gardenweb, talk to them...it helps to let it all out and if you need a shoulder to lean or a ear to listen, email me...I care just like all the caring and loving garderners here...I will light candles and pray that your Mom will pull through this.

It's okay to cry but it is so much easier to cry whe a friend is consoling us an holding us when we seem to be falling apart.

So please say Hi to your Mom and Dad from our family and send our best wishes and my email is open...

Jenny

Thank you all so much for your support it means so much to me.

My sanity is really being tested these past few days / weeks. But they say God only gives you what you can handle. I dont think that applies to me right now.

This evening I had to rush my eldest .. and I might add my dearest cat back to the vets!!! I cant believe this .. one moment he was fine the next he couldnt walk!!! He dragged his body from the back of the yard to the door!! He is allowed out in the backyard due to brain damage he suffered as a kitten so there is no way he can jump or get out of the yard and its the one thing he really loves :o) Why is all of this happening all at the same time??? I rushed to the vets .. not the idiot that I usually see .. but a very kind man. He told me that his inability to walk was a side affect of the medication I have been giving him for the parasites. To think .. NO ONE TOLD ME!!!! I have raised this crippled little man since someone tossed him out in the trash .. we have been though thick and thin for the past 17 years. He sleeps on my head every evening and snuggles into my neck. I would remorage my home to make him well .. I would do everything in my power to save his life if he was not suffering. So stopped his medication .. pumped him full of sub q fluids and he has to return tomorrow morning to be seen by the idiot vet cuz he has to have IV fluids. Oh I am truely being tested!! Right now my poor little man is stuck in a big rabbit cage with his heating pad, litter and food. He cant make it into the litter pan very well and its making him angry :o) I hope he doesnt hold it until tomorrow. I will stay up all night with him and check on him. I wont let his brothers and sisters near him as he is very aggitated and really should be resting. This is breaking my heart!!

Mom has more tests tomorrow. I need to know a date .. any date will do :o) Until then I will trade .. and watch my baby boy.

Laura

Oh no!!!!

Is this a CH cat? They seem to be a bit different when it comes to treating them. I've read that they shouldn't be given a lot of medications because they don't tolerate many of them as well as normal cats. I don't know how much truth there is to what I've read, but since even well informed vets know very little about CH, I'm not taking any chances with my Ham.

I hope that he pulls through!! What a load for you!

BP

Yes Bonnie, Taz is a CH kitty. I will post the name of the medication so you can remember it just incase. Its almost 4 am and he still isnt walking on his own. He can raise his tail now :o) The "idiot" vet has been seeing him for the past 10 years ... and I pop in there at least once a week to say hi to them and usually get a "kitten fix". So she knows what he is all about .. oh well .. this too will pass (I hope). He still hasnt used his litter pan .. with all those fluids he should have tinkled by now. There is nothing wet in the cage so I guess I will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Laura

I hope Taz is still with you and on the mend.

One time a few years ago Ham had a really bad case of food poisoning (baaaad diarrhea). He didn't have the strength to stand up in the pan, but he also didn't like not using it - he's a clean cat. So I rigged a sling out of a pillowcase. I just passed it under his belly and used it to hold him up over the pan once an hour or so. He didn't like being held up with my hands, but the pillowcase was fine. If your Taz will accept it, the pressure on his bladder from a sling like that might cause him to pee. Or he might just realize what you're doing and do it on his own.

It might not work if he's not used to it - I used the sling idea to help Ham learn to walk, and I carried him around in it a lot when he was young, so he was familiar with it.

BP

Hi Bonnie
Taz is still kicking .. well crawling. He spent the day and now the evening at the vets getting IV fluids. They had difficulty raising a good vein so they had to switch to subq fluids again. I was going to bring him home tonight but with all of those fluids he is going to pee up a storm plus with the storm warning I thought it would be better for him to be there in the morning to get additional fluids just in case. He did pee today .. all over himself. He to hates to be dirty .. poor little man. He wouldnt tollerate the sling ... but I did try it :o) He just kept going limp and sliding out of it. So what I did was held his tail :o) His tail is his rutter so if its working then he is working :o) So I held onto his tail and walked him around throughout the night and it at least made him feel better. He still wouldnt use the box .. he was more interested in trying to get away to go to his favorite spots. He still isnt standing on his own .. it hurts so much to see him so helpless. With any luck he will be home tomorrow .. much improved ... if this is permanent .. I wont know what to do with myself. I will keep you up to date with his progress.

Laura

Poor guy - some cats don't seem to care at all if they're filthy, but for those clean cats, it sure does make them miserable. Here's hoping the improvements continue. Got any photos of Taz?

Here's Ham in his second favourite spot - the most favourite is my lap!
{{gwi:669709}}

He's quite the pudgy cat - 22 pounds worth!

BP

LOL .. you and I must have a mental link or something .. I just sent you a pic of Taz. I have no clue how to post a picture on this site or how to set up a homepage :o) My goodness if I knew how to do that Lord only knows how many pictures I would have on my home page. You should see some of the pics I have of my kittens they are almost 8 months old now .. Chloe and KC (Killer Cat, Kitty Cat, Krazy KC) Like Taz I have had them since they were three days old .. They both lost most of their hair and boy did they look funny :o) Chloe almost died when she was three weeks old ... she went into a semi coma type state and was VERY sensitive to sound and light. I think it was the milk the Shelter gave me .. the vet thought she would die but we all had hope. I took her home and called my buddy who I use to work with at a vets. I ran out and bought some pedialite and gave her one cc every hour. I promised her that if she pulled though she would stay with us forever :o) Kittens are such a blast. They got ahold of a toothbrush and boy did those pictures turn out well..so well in fact that I gave copies to my dentist :o)

Thanks so much for caring .. everyone :o) Being a foster parent I dont get to get out of my "cage" very often and socialize with other adults :o) So just being able to chat has been a God send to me :o)

Laura

I love kitty pictures. You can email me as many as you want :-).

I really wish I had more photos of my hand raised babies, but that was fourteen years ago and I didn't have a camera then. I bought one of those disposable ones, but they didn't take great pictures. I got a nice one a few months later, but the tiny rat-like kitten days were long gone. I have a few blurry ones, and that's all the "rat" ones I have. They lost all their fur too, but it was because I was letting my older female occasionally pretend she was their mother, and she licked it all off - she was an obsessive cleaner. One of those babies died at ten days old, and the other one developed distemper at 20 days and boy, was that a fight. Forced fluids and antibiotics every hour for two days, and then every two hours for another two days... I know what you went through! He pulled through and became my special cat for four short years. He died of cancer - broke my heart more than any other cat! He was one of three that was born to a first time mother in a stray colony that I let sleep and winter in my shed. The mom ate one kitten, then took off on the other two, so that was my cue to take them (I don't know weather I find it comforting or shocking to think that humans aren't the only species to mess up parenting :-) ). A few days after he died I saw Ham in a pet store window, and went in and grabbed him - I could tell that he had CH. He would almost certainly have been euthanized once they realized what was wrong with him.

Now my 'need kitties' bump is starting to itch! I guess it'll have to wait, as we can't afford any right now. I think it's important to have two of the same age so they can have someone to play with, and it's so expensive to get two through that first year!! Besides that, Ham really needs to lose weight, and if there's kitten food around he'll eat it. He's such a pig!! That's why we call hin Ham :-). He was given the name Agni, but we haven't called him that for years.

BP

Taz is home from the vets. He isnt at 100% but with any luck he will improve. I missed him so much.

Now to wait to see how my mother will do.

Thank you all so much for your support.

Laura

Glad to hear he's home. I'm sure he'll be feeling a lot better now that he's back where he wants to be.

How long before you expect tests and results back for your mother?

BP

She completed all of her tests yesterday. So they are saying by the end of the month she should have the results. I guess the big fear is that she wont survive the surgery as they will have to remove a portion of her lobe. The waiting is killing me. I will let you know how things turn out.

Taz still is pretty shaky and right now I wont let him climb the stairs on his own .. he certainly has no problem expressing himself though :o) Last night I woke up everytime he moved and at one point awakened thinking he had passed away. Poor guy got awakened from a deep sleep by a paranoid momma. He maybe thinking being at the vets was like a day at the spa :o) He does smell badly .. but its not a pee smell its almost like when you open a new bottle of vitamins .. yuck. Thats ok ... Im just thrilled to have him home.

Thanks for the info on how to set up the pictures .. the site is down until the beginning of December so I will work at posting some of my kitten pics then.

Laura

Well still no word on when or if my mom is going to have surgery .. geeze could this take any longer?? I guess for diagnostic stuff my mom and her doctor (and my brother) have all the bases covered. She will be coming down here on Thursday for a PET scan. Until today I had never knew such a thing exists. The PET scan is very accurate in differentiating malignant from benign growths, as well as showing the spread of malignant tumors. It is used to diagnose so many things .. but and there is always a HUGE BUT .. its not covered by OHIP. Oh well .. if this helps to get the ball rolling as far as what type of treatment will benifit her so be it.

I am all excited that I get to see her even if its just for a day or two. And now I actually feel useful :o)

Laura

Oh Laura, I hadn't read this thread for awhile, and I am really praying for you and your Mom and your whole family, including furry ones.
I remember back to when my mom was waiting for tests for multiple myeloma, it was absolute he--. I will say, like was posted before, the waiting was the worst. By far. She was actually diagnosed as pre-cancerous, and she had about four years when she was tested about every 6 months or less to see what was what. When she was finally told she had it, it wasn't quite as much of a shock. And then we were very lucky to have Mom with us for about seven years after that, she took chemo in bursts and did very well till the final few months. Mom, and the rest of us, knew how very lucky we were that she had such a good doctor who would pick up on her problems with a simple yearly physical.
But the waiting-- I will never forget how hard that was.
I could barely concentrate on anything. And didn't want to.

I've also been through many private hells, is that allowed here? with my pets. And spent many nights up with sick kitties. I don't regret a single sleepless night that I've had being up and caring for them.
I too can't imagine a life without furry friends. My kids are getting the same way, it's all they've ever known. DH is another story, he loves dogs, but cats are a just OK with him, but he has improved vastly in that dept. as well, it's about time, we've been married 13 years, and I've never been without my cats. Does he think I'll ever be any different?
When I originally moved to Ontario, I flew my cats out there with me, and when we moved back here to Alberta he brought them back in the car with him, while I flew back with the kids. So!

Bless you and your family, Laura.
Faith

Just meant to add, I didn't mean to butt into your thread!
Faith

Oh Faith .. thank you so much for your caring and support .. your not Butting into a private thread :o) Its times like this when support is always needed .. thank you so much. Dont ever think your butting in

Laura

Well, my mom was here for her PET scan. It was so great to see her but oh so sad to see her leave :o( I love her so much .. and miss her terribly.

The scan results will be sent to my brother no later than Tuesday .. BUT .. once the scan is done they send you home with a copy of the images. Of course curiosity killed the cat and my mom just had to have me load it onto my computer. We shouldnt have done that .. now because of course we are not able to "read" the images there are more questions than answers. I told her we shouldnt have looked at it .. oh well whats done is done. The PET scan is so sensitive that it will pick up any type of inflamation :o) With sever arthritis she had dots EVERY WHERE on her scan. I think the spot on her lung is a secondary site as it appears her adernial gland has a large mass .. but according to her that isnt too bad as they will just remove her gland and the mass on her left lung .. She has an MRI tomorrow morning so they will be able to compair all of her scans.

Well .. Tuesday seems far away but really it isnt .. well you guys all know that :o) The waiting is the pits!!!

Laura

Well, it's December 10th and my dad just let me know that after all of those scans, I refer to it as being photocopied :o) The only spot is in my mom's lung .. WHEW!!! That means her odds are very good. They are trying to book her surgery for Dec. 30th so lets keep our fingers crossed. Im not suppose to know yet as my dad wants my mom to tell me the good news. I guess its good news .. just have to worry about the surgery now :o) She doesnt want me to go there for the surgery and has asked that I wait until she is out of ICU to come and care for her. It makes sence but still I would really like to be there for the surgery .. do you guys get the feeling I am a huge worry wort??? Just thought I would share the good news :o)

Laura

Laura,
Hope it has gone well for you and your mom, and the rest of the family too of course.
I meant to reply to this a few days ago. I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers.
I sure don't blame you for wanting to be there for the surgery, I bet you will be there if you can be!
Faith

Oh Laura
How I feel for you, May God listen to the prayers and bring your mother through this just fine. You are also in my prayers, I know how hard it is and how helpless you feel when a loved one is going through this and you can not do anything but sit back and watch. My husband's diagnosis wasn't so good and yesterday we met with the oncologist who gave us the Christmas news that his cancer has metasticized and they think it has gone into his bones. Go to your mother to be there for the surgery - moments are precious when you love someone. God bless you and give you strength.
Diane

Oh Diane .. what horrible news to recieve at Christmas. My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your husband.
You are so right about the moments we get to share with each other are far too short.

Take care
Laura

Diane, my goodness, my thoughts and prayers are with you too.
What a terrible Christmas news to receive from the docs, and how terrifying. May you and your husband and all have strength to get through all of this.

Laura,
I hope your Mom has her scheduled surgery tomorrow as you mentioned before, I know how they can change things. I "hope" it's tomorrow so she can get started on her recovery.
The toll it takes on a person to go through all this waiting is terrible- I know, I 've been through it. I'm also one of those who manages just fine through all the frantic activity in a crisis and then crashes when the dust settles. And then I usually get sick with something myself.
I have my toes and fingers crossed and much, much more importantly, praying your mom gets the surgery tomorrow and everything goes just the way it should!

Faith

Thank you IngaMi and Laura for your kind words.
Laura, you and your mom are in my prayers - please let us know how the surgery goes and how you are holding up. Hugs from me.
D

Well today was THE day .. my mother had her surgery and came out of it well. The had to remove the one lobe as the growth was cancerous so now we will all have to wait to see what the other tests show if it has spread to her lymph nodes. I dont know why they just didnt remove them at the same time .. oh well I will have to wait to talk with my brother. I am guessing that she will have to have chemo to ensure that the cells are all destroyed. Right now she is in the Critical care unit so the only person who can see her is my dad. I still fell like a poop not being able to be there .. both my bother and I have come to the conclusion that my mom just does not want to inconvenience anyone. But I will be there soon enough. I will leave to go to Sudbury on the 6th .. maybe sooner.

I am glad that I didnt go up for Christmas as I came down with the flu a few days ago and just got out of bed today. That wouldnt have been good for my mom.

Thank you to everyone for their warm thoughts and prayers. It means alot.

Laura

Well believe it or not it's three days after my mom's surgery and she is out of ICU and into a private room!!! It's amazing how quickly the body recovers after such a tramatic surgery. She seems to think that she will be released from the hospital tomorrow. I am totally amazed. With any luck I will be over this damn flu and be able to leave earlier. They did remove some of her lymph nodes and are awaiting the results from the lab. That will be another week. I am so glad the surgery is over.

Laura

Whohoo!!

Just catching up on stuff. I'm glad to hear that she's doing so well - some people seem to be made of rubber, they just bounce back so quickly! I can't imagine that she was all that comfortable in ICU - they're very noisy! Hopefully this will be the end of the surgery, but at least if more lymph nodes have to come out, it will be minor, compared to having had a part of her lung removed.

I hope they do release her soon, and that she can get on with the business of getting better.

BP

Laura, I am so glad she is already into a private room! What wonderful news that must have been. Now she can get on to the business of recovering. I can only imagine how relieved you all must be that the surgery is over.
Take care of yourself too Laura!
Faith

Hi Guys :o) I finally made it to Sudbury to take care of my mom. Its so good to see her. I must admit she does look a tad bit pale and her medication makes her pretty tired. But all in all she looks wonderful!!!! I wish she would get over trying to be the perfect host even thought she is ill :o) Its so nice to feel like I am able help. She doesnt think that I can last 12 days here .. living with my father :o) Time will tell and I will have to bite my tongue alot.

Laura

Ive been sitting here in Sudbury taking care of my mom and thinking about how lucky I am. I still dont know where my mom stands as far as her cancer goes and wont find out until Feb. 10th .. BUT I have been counting my blessings for the time I have been able to spend with her. I was blessed to find such caring and understanding friends in all of the people I have met here on GW. You have all been so wonderful. Your thoughts, prayers and support have been so comforting in more ways than you can imagine. You are all angels .. thank you all so much.

Laura