Wow, it's not supposed to be like that. It must be really bad if its making you sick to your stomach. Obviously, he's not very ethical. Have you actually paid him the final installment? Because if you haven't, you still have leverage. And you have every right to expect that the cabinets be installed undamaged and all matching. Can you throw a pic up so we can see what your talking about? Do you think that maybe they can be fixed rather than replaced?

Josie - hang in there -- this is YOUR kitchen and you deserve to have it completed in the manner YOU specified! You will live with it, you are paying for it.

Your (quasi) KD sounds like a real bully - don't let him push your around or treat you in a disrespectful manner. No one should be yelling at you. Refuse to talk to him if he starts the bullying behavior until he can speak in a respectful tone of voice. Do you have someone who can be with you while you talk to him? Get some support from someone who can at least be in the house while you have to deal with him and who will step in if he does not stop yelling, etc. when you ask him. It sounds like he has worn you down and I know that you are exhausted from this stressful process, but -- stand up to him! Just keep repeating whatever it is that you want, don't engage in the argument of "but...." that encourages the excuses about "why" you should feel OK with the mismatched cabinets. Something like "I expect my door/drawer fronts to match". Keep it simple and don't settle for something that is wrong. Do not give him any more money until you are satisfied with the job.

Oh, I am so sorry, this type of individual infuriates me! Bullies are small minded, insecure individuals who compensate for their own challenges by trying put down others. Remember -- you DESERVE to have the kitchen that you dreamed about, this is yours, not his. If he made a mistake, it is his responsibility to remedy the situation.

Hi Lukkiirish, I've paid him 90% of the job, we only owe him 10%. It's only about 3 drawer fronts and 2 cabinet doors not actually boxes need to be replaced. If I can I'll try to post a pic.

BTW, if anyone wants to know the cabinets are Medallion. I've had Omega cabinets installed in my bathroom and in my previous kitchen I had one cabinet made by Omega. It was part of my island that I added to the kitchen. I wish I had gone with Omega, but at the time I liked the Medallion finish better.

Alice, I'm sorry I didn't respond to you earlier, I don't know how I missed your post.

Thank you so much for the encourgement. You hit the nail on the head, he's a bully. My husband has taken over dealing with him, he also had been dealing with him, but now my dh has said he doesn't want me to deal with him because of the way he treats me. I hate to say this but he speaks to my husband with more respect than he does me. I"ll be blunt, he's a chavanist. When he started yelling at me yesterday, I gave it back to him. There is no way we will pay him the final amount until we are satisfied. I'm really quite surprised at the color variations. One door is a darker more on the beige side, one is more one the yellow side. Even the replacements don't match among themselves. I know that painting is a difficult process, but I paid premium for the finish. There should be more quality control.

Yeah, don't give him any more money Josie, even if he threatens to take recourse. It's just not a fun situation at all. Sorry to say this but you need to "Get mad" and hold your ground with him, bullies tend to back down when they see your bite can be bigger than their bark. If your concerned about his bad behavior, then the minute he arrives you need to remind him that he is in YOUR home and if he yells or is disrespectful with you at any time during the meeting, you will ask him to leave and it will be without his last 10% because you will need it to hire someone else to correct the problem. Also if he asks you to sign anything tell him flat out, NO. I'm also a big fan of documenting, if push comes to shove, let him know you have everything documented and you're prepared to do whatever is "legally" necessary to ensure it's fixed properly.

Of course he's worried about not getting paid! Because he knows he's done a crappy job and doesn't deserve it!

I say, make that lack of sleep and sick tummy work for you, get mad and give it to him!

I'm so glad your husband is taking over but I think you should be there too and stand as a united team so you still have a voice. And if during the meeting, that guy talks disrespectfully to you, you're DH can put him in his place. :c) I hate when men behave like that, it's so ignorant!.

I remembered posting to another thread you had written regardng this KD and went back to re-read it. After reading that post and now this one, I feel I need to apologize for what I said previously. Looks like I was way off on that one! I hope you'll accept my apology and know that I have my fingers crossed that it will work out the way it should.

Josie, you know I understand your problem and how you're feeling. I've reached the point where I am so exhausted by the remodeling process and the constant battles with my quasi KD that I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I know I need to get him back out here to fight about what to do about my range not fitting properly--but I'm just too tired. The KD wants to meet with my husband now--I'm sure he wants to play the "we-both-know-your-wife-is-just-an-irrational-woman" game--but he will be quite surprised to learn that my husband is even more irritated with him than I am. I've been avoiding scheduling this meeting because I'm afraid my husband will really lose it and it will get even uglier than it needs to be. My decorator actually agreed to take him on for us free of charge because she knows that I've just had enough. This is my busy travel season at work, so I'm only in town 1 or 2 days a week and I just don't have the time or energy to deal with this when I am home. The thing I have learned though is that he expects me to just accept his explanations and excuses and live with things and when I surprise him by fighting back he doesn't quite know what to do. It also seems to be bothering him that I'm not constantly calling and bugging him anymore--I've just stopped communicating with him entirely (partly because I don't have the time). I think he's really beginning to worry that I'll make good on my threat of not paying the last 10%.

Now I'm going to put on my attorney hat and give you some free legal advice. You certainly don't need to sign anything saying you will pay him the remainder. You already signed a contract that establishes the payment schedule and provides for payment of the final 10% upon completion and there is no reason to alter the terms of that agreement.

Good luck with your battle and keep us posted with the progress.

Thank you all very much. The support is much appreciated.

Lukkiirish, apology accepted, no worries....and thank you.

Paigeysmom, thank you for the free Legal advise. I hope you're problems are resolved quickly too.

josie724, I too had a bully for a contractor and this too shall pass. He not only bullied me, but my KD. I would call her and tell her I felt like jumpimg off the roof! In addition, I had the cab rep come to look out a couple of cabs and there was almost a fist fight between my contractor and the cab rep! My KD will not work with him anymore--he has tried to make amends to her by sending her a client but she declined.

I used several items that he did not know anything about (angled plugmold, steam oven, seams in granite, valances, linear UC lighting, etc) and instead of asking and learning, he tried to muddle through--when I pointed out it was wrong, he would explode.

Then, as my contractor was older, he would act all grandfatherly toward me. I was constantly off kilter. This forum saved me--not only all the encouragement, but there were several times I posted questions to confirm the right thing to do when he was telling me the wrong thing!!!

He would only act this way when my husband was not there. My husband thought I was crazy because he was so respectful to him. One day my DH came home early and I had just been bullied. I snapped at the contractor and contractor acted very professional--my DH was very confused and was questioning who was the yeller! He would also ask my DH questions when I made 100% of the decisions--DH would refer him back to me.

I would never use this man or any of his subs again as he would yell at a few of them too. I guess they were use to it.

Besides my beautiful kit, something positive did come out of it though but not with the contractor--with my KD. She told me her company would pay for the punch list at the end so we could get him out and not deal with him. They paid for someone to come out 2 times and will do 1 more.

My take on both of these guys is that they feel a sense of power when they bully folks they perceive as being weaker (ie women, workers). My suggestion is to have your DH or other man talk with him and let him know the problems.

It's still a man's world in that industry and alot of the older guys are the sole boss in their families with the "little woman" listening to their every word. When the customers don't fall in line they have no other skills than to bully.

how awful....it will be over before you know it. i'm not one for confrontation so i often have my dh be the "bad cop". have you tried "killing him with kindness"? play that card and see if it works?????? good luck!

gglks, I was very kind in the beginning.It didn't work with this guy. I'm always kind with people working in my home. I always feel that's the way to get people to do what you want.

My GC on the other hand is an absolute gem. Several aspects of his job are on hold until the cabinet dilema is solved. He's been nothing but patient. I asked if he would mind coming over to install my fridge after the floors where finished, he came and did it. He's sending over the electrician today, eventhough he was suppose to off today, to do the undercabinet lighting so the cabinet installers can do the crown mouldings. It isn't fair that the GC has to be held up because of the cabinet installer's problems. So last week we made a partial payment on the balance we owe which isn't due until completion of the job. He really appreciated it.

Islander, your kitchen is stunning, you know I love it. And yes they get all pissed off when the consumer knows more than they do. My KD even said it to my dh. He said, that none of his customers were involved in the job as much as we were. My granite guy worked with him once and refuses to work with him again. Granite guy told me he keeps wanting to do business with him, but he can't stand him.

Again, thank you everyone for the support, it really helps.

I know in the end I will have my kitchen that I waited 10 years for.

A bully will bully you when you re alone. There is no one there to witness it.
it is the way they operate.
You are not crazy.

It is the pattern of the bully.

The behavior is creepy.

You should diss this guy on Angie's list, or some other service that reviews local service providers, when this is all done. Even if everything gets resolved, the experience should not be gut-wrenching.

morton thanks for the tip....I was looking and looking for a site, I found one...called Pissed consumer, but it's a bit hard to navigate.

Josie: the mis-matched in color drawer fronts aren't the fault of the contractor. That is a cabinet warranty issue. Do not deal with the contractor right now. Call Medallion Cabinetry in Minnesota. Tell them you have a contractor that will not return to the job. Tell them where you bought the cabinets, how you bought the cabinets and tell them you have a warranty issue. Explain the problem. If they tell you to go back to the "dealer" then do that. If the dealer is the contractor, then tell that contractor to give you the sales order number and any other information requested by Medallion so you can get the factory rep out to your house to see what the issue is.
Sometimes, a perfectly good drawer front can be removed by the rep, sent to the factory and a "match" can be done for the two warranty items you need.
I would suggest the cabinet factory/mfg. rep if you can. This way you can establish a relationship with someone and/or a company that you can deal with at a later date if necessary.
I am a Certified Master Kitchen & Bath Designer, an interior designer/space planner and my husband and I own a remodeling construction company. Have for over 20 years so I am VERY familiar with your problem. Try the factory rep.

We avoid conflict whenever possible, especially if there is a high likelihood nothing will be resolved in the end. I guess I would look at what he is owed compared to the cost of having another contractor finish the work. If it is a wash, I'd let him go. He is probably worried about something like that happening if he wants you to sign another document.

We had a very large remodel on our house about 20 years ago. When the GC didn't do the punch list we just let it pass and didn't pay the last payment. I think it was several thousand dollars. We never saw or heard from him again, and we were glad. His workers had been going through our stuff and had stolen a few small things. Letting the situation drop probably doesn't work often, though. Good luck and best wishes.

Not to detract from the OP's plight, but there's often an undercurrent on this forum that men are always the big bad bullies who take advantage of the poor fragile housewife. Well, I can tell you that there are female bullies too - and to be politcally incorrect for a minute, some of them are real b*llbusters!

Generalizing about gender is dangerous. When anyone in our family is confronted by a bully, our DIL steps in to solve the problem. She is 5'1' in heels and weighs 95 lbs. One contractor she straightened out described her to another contractor (who he didn't know was a friend of ours) as "frightening."

Tedebear, thank you so much for the helpful information. While I know the mismatch is not the fault of the KD, my stress was having to deal with him more, which he will only see as a way for us to hold up giving him the final payment. BTW, he's not a certified KD like you he just calls himself a KD. Live and learn, WORK WITH CERTIFIED PEOPLE.

Cotehle, that's what we wanted to do, but he was holding our replacement hood hostage. I probaly should have told him to keep the replacement hood and gone to another dealer and purchased it with the money I owed him. But there was still the dw panel that I hadn't received and all the trimwork needed to be done, so I think in the long run it would have cost us more.

Velodog, that's my kinda woman ;-)

Hi Josie, I'm late in posting my comment, but someone else already did. I'd sick my hubby on him, and be done with dealing with this guy.

I own a business, and even in this day, there are times I have male clients that would rather deal with a man. I can tell by the disrespectful way that they speak with me. My initial reaction is to tell them where to go - but it's business. My husband is also my business partner - so rather than lose a customer, I take the easiest way to get to the common goal with our company and our client.

It's hard to stomach in this age - most men are happy to deal with us both - either one of us, male or female. But it is what it is.... so it's easiest to just accept it because you're not going to change them. I find that the ol Dr. Phil saying comes into play here "How's that workin' for ya?". If it's not working, then *you* do what *you* can to change the situation.

Good luck!

Boxie

josie, you've gotten some really good advice here so i won't throw in any more. just wanted you to know that i feel for you and wish for the best possible outcome (including not having to deal with that creep anmymore!) good luck!

Thank you Boxie, for your encouragement. That's the plan DH will deal with him.

I don't want this topic to become a women against men thing....Weissman, really we're not ganging up on men ;-) In THIS particular case though, it's clearly a man not treating a woman with the same respect. But that's really not the issue, it's more about the lack of service we are receiving as customers, be it male, female, or anything inbetween.

Boxie, I'm in the same situation, my dh and I own our own business and would never treat people they way this business owner has.

I agree go to the cabinet rep, We do repair finish work for some kitchen and bath showrooms, and nothing gets done until the cabinet companies are invloved. Please don't knock all non certified designers, I design kitchens and build and install, and finish, well you get the idea, I do it all. Even some box stores have certified designers, sometimes courses and continuing education are no match for experience, especially hands on.

josie724 - I wasn't accusing you specifically - it's just that on this thread and others there are comments about men being bullies, men being sloppy, men being careless, men dirtying the bathrooms, etc. I was merely trying to point out that it's not necessarily a male vs. female issue.

I want to refer you back to tedebears advice: this is the ONLY way to handle this problem. Why bother inserting a person you don't like and can't deal with between yourself and the company that's actually responsible?

Your KD may be a disaster, but unless he ordered the wrong color, it isn't his fault that the cab company has poor quality control when it comes to matching finishes.

mcr1, yes you are right, there are classroom trained people who can't hold a candle to hands on experienced people.

Weissman, I know you weren't I was just trying to make a funny, I wasn't offended. No worries. And come on you know men leave the toilet seat up all the time......LOL (I'm joking again)

Orubois, yes tede gave me great info I've printed it out. I just don't think I should cut all ties with my KD just yet. I'm not sure if Medallion will deal with me direct. I've heard their customer service is not great. And yes it is their fault not the KD's about the quality control problems.And I'm not holding him responsible for that. But right now the KD can only see getting his balance. He's going to look at it as more time he's spent on my job and to him time is money.

Hi Josie -

Did you get your issues with the drawer fronts resolved?

Hi designgirl, yes everything is resolved, see my post titled finally!!! I posted some pics.

Although there is one door replacement that came in slightly smaller, it will be replaced as well, but that's a very minor issue. For the most part I've been dealing with Kawsi KD's assistant, and it has been much easier.