Step Parent Adoption - Should I change last Name?
elaforge
21 years ago
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mom_2_4
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRosieL
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
really need advice/help with step-parenting issues
Comments (9)Unfortuntely Carrie,it is VERY normal for the dad to take the "leave me out of it stance". Although from what I read on a website from a pyschologist,it is the worst thing a bio-dad can do to the step mom and child. It says that,unless the father reinforces things,this will leave way for the "Evil stepmom syndrome" because the stepmom becomes the mean/upset/anxious/unhappy one. You are in a tough spot here,but I honestly think this daughter and these kids would act like this toward any woman their dad decided to marry after their mom died. The dad should tell them that their mom wouldnt have wanted them to be this way.And if he loves you,he NEEDS to stand up for you in some way. Do you make any head way by telling him if it doesnt stop you will leave him? What does he say when you threaten this? I guess the main thing you can hope for is the one daughter moves out.Do you and your husband have any extra money you could throw her way and tell her it's to help her get out there on her own? At 21 she's lucky if you all let her live there at all.That is certainly old enough to get out in the world and start creating her own life.Even if she doesnt get married yet or have kids.She should be hanging with other young women her age and doing things they do not trying to take your place. I dont really know what other advice to give you,because it is sooo important you and your husband be on the same page here.If he says nothing,he is letting his kids run you out of this marriage. There was a time when I had some issues with my step daughter hitting my daughter.My husband didnt want to say anything to his daughter about it either.But I stood my ground and told him that if he didnt,I was leaving and taking our daughter with me.So he finally did...cuz because he knew I was serious. I'am sorry you are finding it to be so hard.With 6 kids,I think you are a saint anyways! :) You certainly took on alot and it sounds like you are really trying.It's a shame your husband cant validate you to his kids. Welcome to the forum!...See Morecontested step parent adoption
Comments (18)to greg(gmoyer1@yahoo.com) You have a lot of nerve running YOUR mouth about a bunch of women that you don't know. I am a CANADIAN woman. I am also the "stranger" raising the children. I must also add that I am doing a better job then the kids "bio" mother ever could, and that she is the stranger now. I am sorry for you if your ex is anything like my kids biological mother, as she is nothing more than a crack whore. That being said; if you aren't seeing your children because of your distaste for their mother then you are NO better, and I would get off the high horse I was on if I were you! There are ways to see your children with limited to no contact with their mother (ie; supervised access centres). If you have been denied from seeing your kids by the courts then there is probably something severly wrong with you. If you think that your happiness is of any real importance then you are WRONG! What is most important in this world is the safety and well being of all the children. If you are refusing to see your children because you don't like their mother, I recommend that you get over yourself, quit your PITY party, step up and take care of your kids. If there mother is a loser that is going to wreck their lives, fix whatever is wrong with your life, and go back to court and win those kids and give them the life you know they deserve!! THINK ABOUT IT!!! (my kids mother doesn't pay support AT all- guess who buys the groceries, and makes the dinners?!? ME- the quote unquote stranger)...See Morestep-parent adoption in AL
Comments (5)Has a Guardian ad Litem ("GAL") been appointed in your case? A GAL is usually an attorney appointed by the judge to conduct an investigation (sometimes the investigation only involves a simple office visit where the GAL will meet with you, your husband and the children). The GAL is also legally obligated to make every attempt to contact the childrens' father (i.e., letter at last known address and/or publication in local newspaper, etc.) in order to determine if he will consent to the termination of his parental rights and subsequent adoption or if he contests it. Sometimes the parent is unable to be located so the GAL will then submit the newspaper publication as evidence of his or her failed attempts - if the judge declares that all avenues have been exhausted and finds your husband as a suitable father for your children, then your petition will be granted. I would advise that, if a GAL has been appointed in your case, you speak with him or her about your concerns and your state specific laws. The above information applies to my state but it may not apply to yours. Good luck!!...See MoreStepchildren over stepping parent/child boundries
Comments (12)theotherside Just to let you know a person does get a good credit rating with a cell phone account, as long as it is properly paid. He would not be responsible for the account we would be paying it, however, if he wanted to change or purchase anything with the account he would have free rein to do so. SS has a history of foolishly over spending and then coming to us to pay for his over spending. I could see him order a fancy phone and extras off the account and then telling us, leaving us to pay for his new francy phone and any extras he decided he wanted. Yea and he knows we would and with no worry for him. He might get a little talking to from dad but he would get his phone and what ever else he ordered. That is how past history has gone with SS. There is no way to set limits if the account is in his name. SS will be considered the main account holder and have all control of the account. Sweeby, maybe I am sensitive, but past history have caused me alot of stress in regards to extravagant spending on SS part and then expecting us to pay. What do you 2 think about him having his own account? The two of you did not respond to that. Why is it that we are expected to pay his cell phone bill? Although we have paid for his phone for the last 6 years. What is this about now days. I guess at 22 year old my parents were paying for nothing for me....See Moreelaforge
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agobrandym
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRosieL
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoKimzMom
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agobrandym
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoelaforge
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agolazy_gardens
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoponderinstuff
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoeknapp26_yahoo_com
12 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
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