Started out OK. Oldest stepdaughter had a drug problem and cause tremendous family issues with staying out, stealing from family and retailers, dropping out of high school, emotional problems, etc..She singlehandedly tried to split my wife and myself up. The other stepchildren (4) total(I have two biological) are very high maintenance. They all take advantage of their mother. I am not as easy and expect more but they do not like that and their mother claims, "I am not a man. I cannot act like a man". In other words, be tough when needed and draw lines of behavior in the sand. I tell her it's not about being a man but being a parent.

I don't discipline the stepchildren. I leave that to the mother because I am not their biological father. I tried once, verbally, and it didn't go over too well. They all would run to their mom telling how mean I was.

My two kids have to live in the same environment so I have to be a hands on parent to mine, who are thriving, and a stressed out bystander to the others. They are so dominant in their needs. They yell and scream and fight and disrespect their mother and each other. It is to the point where I am considering ending my marriage because this isn't what life is all about.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? My wife's dad died when she was very young and her mother raised her and her 4 siblings. In my wife's first marriage the male was pretty much out of the picture and didn't want much involvement with "parenting". So, none of them have been exposed to how a male parents and none of them understand, appreciate nor respect it. It all seems harsh and mean to them. I am not harsh and mean. I don't strike nor degrade my children or stepchildren. I do expect certain behaviors and there are consequences for not abiding by those core rules. Hers on the other hand only get disciplined when things reach critical mass. It's like Lord of the Flies in this home. The mother thinks the kids are just perfect and all normal; and our homelife is like all homes. It's not. I was raised in what I'd consider a normal home and it was a far cry from the unorganized, disrespectful environment displayed here.

I either need to leave or drown myself in Scotch in order to survive. My stress level is off the charts and I now anger very quickly and have become intolerant of most everything due to pent up anger of years of watching these kids take advantage of everything and everyone they come in contact with.

Aside from the oldest one who I mentioned earlier. The oldest boy uses his mom and does absolutely nothing to help out around the house. The middle girl is an emotional basket case. She can't come back from a soccer practice without melting down from some incident that occurred at practice. The youngest girl I believe would love to return to her mother's womb and needs constant attention which she generally receives. When she does the other girl gets jealous and competes for the mother's attention. The mother doesn't see what is happening here. She satiates all needs and thinks she is being a good mother. Only in dire circumstances does she act like a strong parent and says 'no' to the onslaught of requests that come her way.

If she wants that type of home life...so be it. I can't handle it any longer. It has taken too much out of me over the years. I really tried to reach the oldest one in the beginning for the first year or so and she lied to me and only gave me lip-service to placate me. I have tried to explain my feelings to my wife but she seems to think I am the one with the issue. She is the queen of avoidance and this is another avoided issue. It has been for years. I don't know what else to do. I love my wife but I cannot go on like this.