To add to the many "My husband's ex is a psycho and I just about hate my stepson" entries.....

Here's my story...

I've known my husband since high school, after high school we fell out of touch and didn't see each other for many years.... he married a psycho with a psycho mother.

Amy, my stepson's "mother" dumped her son on us in the middle of the night about 4 years ago because she and her boyfriend needed time alone.

Well ok, I guess I could understand this except that we had his son EVERY weekend (with the occasional exception of paternal grandparent visits) for FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT. No vacations or alone time and then at 2:30 am on a Friday morning four and a half years ago we get him permanently.

His mother's had, (and I know this for a fact because she's been dumb enough to tell us her mistakes every time she's made one), 3 yes THREE abortions, one adoption and another baby (this one she kept) all within the last 8 years.

My husband has primary custody of his son and by the divorce decree the mother is to have the son EVERY WEEKEND and certain holidays and ALL summer. No dice, no way, no how.....she goes out 3 or 4 weekends in a row and cannot be bothered with her son....(she doesn't pay a dime in child support either, yet I pay through the nose for all his needs and gifts etc...)

We have butted heads repeatedly over this and my husband will not make her live up to her responsibilities because he hates to even have to talk to her..... Well after 7 1/2 years of this my stepson came to ME one Friday afternoon in March and told me something so shocking that I had trouble finding words to console him....

His mother's mom had actually seen fit to interact with him and took him on a summer trip to their family reunion and on the way she proceeded to tell him that his mother was a CRACK ADDICT and not to tell ANYONE..... Well after 8 months of holding this in and worrying about it, he told me. I was floored, not because of what he told me, I had always known she was doing something like that but could never prove it and my husband always blew it off as me being hateful toward her. I was floored because his psycho grandmother had the nerve to tell an eleven year old boy something that bad about his mother and then make him promise not to tell. Like I mentioned before, it was a Friday afternoon and as usual we were waiting and waiting to find out if she was coming to get her son or not, and I may mention that the 2 previous weekends that child waited for hours for her to arrive after she had called and said she was on her way, (she only lived 10 minutes, at most, from our house), and she never came. My stepson finally called to ask her if she was coming or not and she screamed and screamed at him until I took the phone away from him and sent him outside. I proceeded to call her everything in the book including a low life crack Wh*re and her answer to that was to come and fight me in front of her son (great mom huh). This woman came to my home carrying her 2 year old child and screamed everything under the sun at me and hit me and spit on me, but, I could do nothing because she held an innocent baby on her hip, who by the way, did not cry, or fuss or even remotely act like this was anything out of the ordinary (again, great mom, huh).

Now, 5 months later she acts as though nothing ever happened between us. I feel so sorry for my stepson, but now he's acting like his mother, lying about even the most trivial things, stealing, (she's been known to steal things from Wal-mart with her son right there with her), he has raised his fist to me twice now in the last year and his father will not do anything about it, he says "it's between the two of you". Now, last night I caught my stepson mistreating his own dog and I can't take much more of it. I finally told him that I was going to beat his butt off if I caught him doing it again. I have raised my hand to this child twice in 8 years, once I swatted him when he was 4 four sliding down an outside banister after being told numerous times not to and almost falling off and then just the other day I popped him once on the butt for back talking me. Twice in 8 years seems more than fair to me, but I have believed all along that his father should have been spanking him for the misbehavior he frequently displays, but his father would never do it because he, himself was "over punished" as a child and "hated his father for years". I'm at my rope's end and I am tired of my life being run by a crack wh*re and a 12 year old, does anyone have any suggestions....I love my husband and we get along wonderfully but for this subject.

Thanks