Need help for my SIL's divorce statement...

18 years ago

Does anyone know of a site that has tips/techniques for writing a divorce proclamation? It's like a long letter that tells of the issues the marriage has suffered and the reason for her and her ex's divorce.

She received his when she was served papers last Friday (Mother's Day weekend, wasn't that nice of him?), but now needs to do her own. She needs help with how to start her letter and what all it should entail. I've Googled both of those terms, but can't seem to find anything and her attorney has been so busy, he hasn't answered her questions. Can anyone help?

Blessings!

Haley

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Comments (13)

susanjf_gw
18 years ago
could she copy his, changing the pertinant information?
hale_bopp
Original Author
18 years ago
Hi Susan, to be honest, his was HORRIBLE, LOL! It was rambling, complaining and LYING. (I know about the lying parts because I happen to be pretty involved with my SIL and her kids. It was abhorrent!) But it just didn't have any form or function except to make her look bad.

She said she'll put in a call to her attorney tomorrow to find out how he thinks she should structure it. :)

Thanks!
Haley
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susanjf_gw
18 years ago
seeing the marriage thru "man" eyes, right?

most judges in family court see and can read thru the b*s*...i'd have her write down as concise as she can, and add dates, names of people present, etc, before she speaks to her lawyer. be sure to xerox everything! if he's being a jerk, i sure hope they don't have kids...
hale_bopp
Original Author
18 years ago
Oh honey, let me tell ya! ROTFL! She has photocopies of all of his bills, subscriptions, letters to/from women, copies of sign in/out forms from the kids's school (he claims he takes them and drops them off every day), copies of accounts he's cashed in, but he won't pay child support, etc. He's toast basically. Unfortunately they have two precious children who suffer under his care. He won't give them medication, wash their clothes, forgets to pick them up... It goes on. I'm so angry- if I ever saw him I'd take a frying pan to his head. There's always two sides to every story, but he takes the cake!

Blessings and thanks again,
Haley
kacram
18 years ago
I just started to search a little and found this sight. Have you seen it? Looks like a LOT of GREAT useful information!

Here is a link that might be useful: Divorce 360
hale_bopp
Original Author
18 years ago
Holy cow, Kat! That's a GREAT site! Thank you sooooo much! I just emailed her the link. Yay!

Blessings,
Haley
mariend
18 years ago
Only thing I can add is document everything, and anything she photocopies, put is a safe place even a safe deposit box maybe in your name. Tell her to do a credit check to find out if there are any accounts he has that she is not aware of. It seems to me if her attorney is "too busy" she needs a different one. Is she near a college that has classes for future lawyers. Maybe a grad student could help--as they are pretty sharp. Maybe a legal aid person will help. Just make sure if they are grad students they understand the privacy laws. If the husband wrote his own letters, DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING on the paper. Instead on a separate sheet, got thought/sentence by sentence and clarify the words, but prove what you (she) writes. Check the other forums for ideas. If the children seem to be mistreated, again document with Dr. check ups Meds not being given, when or not etc. Who has primary custody? That should be determined first,. even if CPS is involved. \
I do wish you the best.
grammahony
18 years ago
Why is her lawyer so busy??? Don't he have time for her??? She has to do her own work??? Sounds to familiar to me. Keep the good web site, but maybe she should look for someone in her court (on her side).
Leslie
cynic
18 years ago
I take it this is a contested divorce? Everyone I know, at least that I can think of simply cites "irreconcilable differences" and goes from there.

I too first thought that if the attorney is too busy to do their job, it's time for a different attorney.
secsteve
18 years ago
I agree with grammahony that her lawyer doesn't sound like he's interested in helping her.

I had the misfortune of being in a similar situation where my attorney just flat out screwed up things royally. Then she (the attorney) got upset when I complained to her firm about her performance. It's a whole long story that I won't go into here but I did have the satisfaction of learning that she was asked to leave the firm about two years after my problem with her.
gingertn
18 years ago
I know it's probably not likely, but if she could get him to go to mediation it would be much less expensive (if that's something they can do there, I suppose it may be diff from state to state). Maybe she can tell him she has lots of evidence against him, documented and it would be in his best interest not to go to court... But, since he filed, she is already to a disadvantage. She needs a new lawyer.

ginger
hale_bopp
Original Author
18 years ago
See, that's why I love the KT. How else would we find out that this is not good lawyer behavior? : D I just text messaged her that "the KT verdict is in...get a new lawyer." LOL! He's such a jerk, he filed without telling her. She had no choice but to scramble a lawyer and start paperwork. :(

Anyway, great advice! I'm passing it ALL on! Thank you!

Blessings,
Haley
cynic
18 years ago
If the lawyer really is playing games, each state has a variation of a board of professional responsibility. Most attorneys are a bit fearful of them. However, the bad part is that it's lawyers patrolling lawyers. But they still get very annoyed when they're turned in.

Need help for my SIL's divorce statement...

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