bad divorce must sell or refinance- i dont own land- please help

aprildawn_2008

16 years ago

hi everyone,

ok i got divorced like a year ago- my home is about 6 years old (turning 7 this april or many- dont rememebr) Any way my ex is taking me back to court to get his name off the loan. I am totally upside down in this house and my credit is not good- not even close. when we bought this ting we were having our first baby and we were in a hurry to get out of our smll appartment.. so like a dumb A** i put the thing on my parents property. dont ask m what i was thinking. to this day i dont know, but i need some advice.. My paretns are tellign to let them forclose on it.. i cant do that- i mean i can but i dont want to. Is there a way out? and please i have seen some of those spammers out there replying to othet peoplres posts and then noone else helps out- dont screw this up for me ok? this is serious- i have two kids and i can barely afford the house payments- we want to move back in with my paretns to get my finances under control and get back on our feet again. Each year im getting further and further behind- right now im not too bad im only two months behind- and im trying to catch up.. but i can feel it- the end is near for me- i either need to get this thing sold -moved- refinanced.. or im going to have to let it go....against the little voice in my heart saying dont give up.. please help guys.. any suggestions will be much appriciated. ANY (as long as it isnt spam) :)- thanks - april

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (5)

adirondackgardener
16 years ago
Hello, AprilDawn,

Speaking from experience, don't walk away from assets and don't try to do this alone. Letting someone foreclose on your main asset seems to be something only done when all else fails. Holding on to your home seems to be you goal and so it should be.

First thing you should do, if you haven't already, is approach the lending institution before they begin to make threatening phone calls. Explain your situation and see if they are in a position to work with you. The fact that you are making a good-faith effort to resolve this (and continue being a paying customer of theirs) may convince them to work out a financing plan. If they refuse, you are in no worse a position than you are now.

If moving in with your parents for a while is an option as you suggest, would it be possible to find a renter for your home to cover expenses while you get back on your feet? Continuing to make regular payments will be a big help in finding refinancing for your loan, or at the very least, avoiding foreclosure and holding on to an asset.

Another thing you should do is contact a credit counseling agency as soon as possible. If you connect with the right agency, they would be able to look at your current situation and perhaps help develop realistic goals and strategies. You have to be careful there though, since like in most things, there are those who prey on the people who can least afford it. Avoid any that says they will "wipe out all your debt" because they won't. They are the bottom-feeders of the industry. A link below may help you find one that isn't out to take what little you have. You may also get a referral for a reputable service or agency from your bank or an attorney.

There are probably forums that focus on situations like yours and you might find better info there, but I hope you find help in saving your home.

Best of luck.

Wayne

Here is a link that might be useful: Department of Justice list of approved credit counseling agencies
adirondackgardener
16 years ago
Aprildawn,

I remembered a link to the Better Business Bureau's page on finding a credit counseling service. Hope it helps.

Wayne

Here is a link that might be useful: Better Business Bureau
Related Discussions
need your help, please!! Am I in a bad marriage? (long)
Q
Comments (40)
Chinacat..."it's not the smoke, it's the slacker who's abusing it. the prayer goes 'blessed art thou who has sanctified us by thy commandments, and given us the herb of the fields' by the way... and 'treat your body as a temple' applies just as much to things like white sugar and Pringles as it does to anything else..." You said it. I do know productive members of society who smoke, and I know others who abuse their bodies with food, abuse their minds with television. It's not the guns killing people, it's the people killing people. That said, perhaps that is his one vice? If he works as hard as she says he does, he must need some time to relax. Also, is he a homeowner? I thought it was the OP's house. If it is, then expecting him to contribute and feel equal may be difficult. Have you tried interesting him in exercise? That gives a great natural high. Does he have hobbies you could share? If you're really not interested in being with him because he smokes, yet you knew he smoked, did not ever own a home, etc... prior to getting married, you set yourself up for failure. Don't blame him for your inability to change him. You married a bachelor who has the social and homemaking skills of a college student (no offense to college students!) He doesn't want to grow up. You already have. Invite him to grow up with you, or get out. You deserve more, and your kids deserve more. By the way, don't ever assume kids don't know what's going on. They will find out sooner or later, and you will have to reconcile the "don't do as I do (or DH does) but do as I say" and we know that never works. I'm sorry, but you said to be frank. I mean no judgement. Best of luck to you.
...See More
Question about buying from divorcing/divorced couple
Q
Comments (21)
Thanks for sharing your numbers Jane NY. I really didn't understand why the other realtor seemed offended because I thought our offer was a good starting place! That realtor actually apologized to my realtor for the way she reacted, so that's good at least. Congrats on your purchase! Brickeye you are right that zillow can be inaccurate - they had their zestimate of our current house at $290k about a year ago and now it's at $159k with no explanation. However, they do have our tax assessment and taxes paid listed correctly. Zillow is also a good place to find out how long houses have been on the market and how many times they have been re-listed. Their zestimates mean nothing to me though. At this point I'm almost glad they didn't accept our offer because I'm so excited about the possibility of getting this unfinished house with the great view of the city and river. However, if we can't make a deal on this new house I will go back and put our final offer in writing on the first house. Thanks again to all of you for your input. Kind of makes me wary of buying from a divorcing couple!
...See More
Help, selling house, and I don't do neutral!
Q
Comments (36)
I've been following your post because this past month, hubby has been preparing me for the dreaded "R" word (relocation). We'd just finally finished our basement and I used COLOR for the first time and I love it. I also just painted our front LR-turned-"library" (light sage). We had all blandish light smoke gray walls throughout, but I was adding in sages, pumpkin "spice", and SW Blonde. I think I'll hold up on my other paint projects in the main living areas and let them remain neutral. Now that I know how to paint, I don't think I'd let one or two bright rooms scare me (if/when house-hunting), but I wouldn't want to have to paint a large area--like several rooms/halls that flow together--soon after moving in, so if there are other houses in the market that would be other than this scenario, they'd have the edge. I just saw in your last post that you live in Durham. Small world--it's the RTP area that we would be relocating to from central IL. I think your area has higher home prices, so that scares me. I'm in my dream home now, I can't stand the thought of leaving.... :-( Ah well. If you have any links to good realtor sites that have pics, etc., in your area, please share! Thanks. Good luck with your upcoming relocation. When it's what you want, things usually go better. Like someone mentioned above, it's time to stop thinking of the current home as "yours" and to distance yourself from it--changing color back to neutral will help with that. When you do this, something about the "energy" of the home changes (weird, I know). I like the LR after Lindy photoshopped it. I also think I would do the kitchen cabinets all the same (not light on top, dark on bottom). What about some "antiquing" of them--in the cracks? Can the kitchen be a different color from the rest of the "fun space"? I have a friend who did her cabinets cream with some glaze in the cracks to antique them and then painted her walls a ruddy color (terra cotta-like). It was gorgeous and did well with the neutral colors of the rest of her rooms, but still gave her some "pop". A good muted orange (since you like that color) is Laura Ashley 'Spice' (at Lowes)--I'm not an orange person but fell in love with this and used it in a basement area and planned on it for my kitchen. I love how wrought iron looks against it. It seems very popular right now. Good luck and have fun! Tracey
...See More
The good, the bad, and the ugly of being a land lord
Q
Comments (25)
I use similar philosophy as Rooseveltl. I am stating similar things with a slightly different bent. 1. You have to understand the business of rental properties. At the end of the day, you have to make money. Don't let someone else tell you that you are making money. You have to really know it. Read read and read about accounting aspect of rental business. Know how to do it yourself even if you end up paying someone to do it for you. You are running a small business; debit and credit, profit and loss. You would never run a business without knowing if you are making or losing money in that business. 2. Know your comfort zone. I am only comfortable with people that I would want to know socially as tenants. I don't want them living in my properties that cost 400K or more. (That is a starter home in my town) I could not and would not do section 8 or rental properties in very low income areas. That is my comfort zone. 3. Know how to market your property and how to read the market: good school district, close-in location, up and coming area, apartment with parking in a central location when no one has one. We have done well by picking in high demand areas. 4. Know your local laws pertaining to tenant rights and landlord's responsibilities. 5. Vacation rentals are very different from long term rentals. Ask yourself what you want. I prefer long term rentals. There are many people that do vacation rentals and do well financially. 6. Always have enough capital that you can use to deal with unexpected problems: leaks, breakage etc. We have had to come up with replacements quite quickly many times. 7. In my city, credit and criminal check is mandatory. I personally select my tenants. I do not use any service for managing the properties. Make sure that you make money even after you pay the service. 8. I have a list of people that I call for repairs and issues. I pay them promptly so that they are willing to work for me when I need them quickly. Unless the repair is very minor, we don't repair much because the time is of essence to the tenants. (ie non-working DW, appliances etc) We also charge market rate for rent. 9. We also do not let tenants stay a long time (decade or so) at a below market rate. We did that 20 years ago. The problem was that when they left, we found a significant amount of deferred maintenance that we could not get to which can have severe consequences. We would rather have them move every 3 to 5 years so that we can really go through the empty house and clean and repair. We just raise a minor amount each year: 2 to 5% or so. Then we stay current with the market. 10. I also buy in areas that I want to live in and in a house that I would/could live in if my income was lower or if I was younger. This way, I know that the property is desirable.
...See More
jackofalltrades_1956
16 years ago
I don't know what direction your spiritual compass points, but there is a group http://www.crown.org/ that has a lot of resources. It is a Christian ministry and they may have someone who could work with you and give you some good sound advice. I think the guy above who suggested you rent it out has a good idea. Don't even consider a "quick sell" with one of these companies that promise to buy your home in 24 hours. They are a bunch of rip off artists...for the most part anyway. I suppose there are a few good ones out there, but not from my experience.
bus_driver
16 years ago
Do contact the financing agency now. I can tell you that the VERY LAST THING they want is to "own" that mobile home. They would have to pay rent to your Mom while they try to sell it where it is or pay to have it towed to a sales lot. It will be slow to resell and the actual selling price will not be high. Talk to them- be absolutely truthful. BS will be discovered eventually and will really hurt YOU. Ask them to accept a lower price and to refinance it. I suspect that it can be resolved.
adirondackgardener
16 years ago
I wonder whatever happened to aprildawn?

Oh, well. Whatever.

Wayne

bad divorce must sell or refinance- i dont own land- please help

Comments (5)

adirondackgardener

adirondackgardener

Related Discussions

jackofalltrades_1956

bus_driver

adirondackgardener

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US