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College age kids and jobs?

16 years ago

I wonder those of you who have college age kids (bio or step)... How common is this? here is the story.

DD finished her 1st year of college. She is in college full time, lives on college location (not on campus, rents wiht bunch of people). DD works part time, 20 hours a week during school year (pretty decent pay by the way-pays rent and food) and full time about 40 hours during summer, which pretty much pays for everything. She takes 2 and 1/2 weeks off this summer, but that's about it. She lost her job in February because she took a week off, she had to look for a new job. So she cannot be taking time off much.

I know pretty well some of her former classmates families. As I keep finding out this summer that none of them works, OK i understand they don't work during school year (rather strange but OK i will accept). But they do not work now during summer either. Makes no sense! Well they are afluent families, they can afford it, but still what do they do the whole summer, don't they want extra money?

So what is your expereince? how normal is not to work for college kids? Not even during summer? I was very surprised. is that common? almost 4 months, no work? I almost felt bad for DD. hmm, well not really.

Comments (48)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My daughter just graduated from high school a few weeks ago and began a job the week afterwards. She is working full time as a server at an upscale restaurant in our area. She will be attending university in August and hopes to find part-time work in the town were the school is located. Before this job, she had only once before worked a VERY part-time job (maybe 10 hours a week) and occasionally she would babysit, but that was it. I never worked in college, at my parents' request b/c they wanted me to concentrate on my studies, but I think times are very different now and most college students (at least where we live) seem to at least work part-time.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I worked my entire way through college, so did my DH.

    Oldest son works full time in summer, and about 25-30 hrs/week during the school year.

    Stepson just grad high school, and started working 2 weeks ago, full time (summer).

    Stepdaughter (15) mows lawns & babysits.

    Baby (5) helps with dishes & sets table, picks up sticks in yard.

    You get the picture...our kids know that work is just a part of life. We do live in an upper-middle class area, and most of our kids friends are "priveleged". Most don't work, but some do.

    I saw a GREAT quote the other day:
    "Every day when I get up, I look at the list of the world's richest people. If I'm not on it, I go to work."

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  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    i am not a good example because although I went to college right after high school, I went part time at nights and worked during the day, plus I got married young. both i am X went to classes at night and worked by day. It took us longer to graduate of course. I am glad DD has full time college exprerience, but she does not really care about college scene, she just gets education.

    But it is amazing to me how can 19-20 year olds to not work at all nowadays. Don't they want some pocket money? If for example they are dating, do they ask their parents for money to take a girlfiend to movies? And if they have a car, do they ask money for gas? Seems like a joke to me.

    DD wished she could work more hours during school year but she can only work 20 hours during school year and unlimited number during school breaks.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I live in an affluent area. Most parents prefer children (high school or college) not to work during school year, unless it clearly does not interfere with school and is related to career. During summer, my DD will work, but it was her choice, and she could have traveled or attended enrichment programs. I think this is pretty typical here.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    When my DS was in college , he was extremely jealous of the kids whose parents didnt make them work, just provided them with all the cash they needed, they had charge accounts to buy CDs or whatever they wanted, he told me they d just pile whatever they wanted into the cart!! I was jealous!!!!But even some of his wealthier friends parents did make the kids work, to teach work ethic...I had an uncle that was extremely wealthy, and he d give my cousins 10 bucks a week pocket money...Said he didnt want them to get in trouble with a lot of money LOL

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    All my kids, worked full time during school & during summer, as did I, when I was younger. I think that anything in life that is worth having, is worth working for, including an education.

    SD, sometimes works part time during school, and is off during summer. SO thinks his daughter shouldn't have to work if she doesn't want to, and doesn't mind that she is on a 7 year plan to a 4 year degree, on Daddy's dime.

    Reason number 17, why we have seperate finances!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wish I did not have to work at all during college!!

    In my college experience many of the kids who were there on daddy's dime goofed off a lot. They did not take their education seriously and used that free time all summer to party.

    There were a few who did use the summer to take extra classes and be involved in sports if they did not work.

    I find nothing wrong with college kids working during the summer months, and even part-time during the school year.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    In my college experience, there were people who goofed off and people who didnt. What has been documented by the College Board is that children of intact families have on average more financial support that children of divorced families. I tell my DD her job is school.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I didn't get to attend college when I was just out of high school, I had my first son during senior year. But, I went to college when I was 23 and I worked full time to support my family. I worked from 7am-4pm M-F for social services and went to college at night and Saturdays. I remember I had no classes on Friday nights, so that was the night I had my cub scout den meeting.. I was den mother.

    My kids (19 & 21) don't realize that they have it easy when I want them to live at home, go to school and work part time and all I ask is that they do well in school, keep the room decent and follow the rules (common courtesy ones). I think it has a little to do with society because things have changed so much since I was a teen. I remember working packing bell peppers in the field at 14, making $2.45 an hour in the hot sun. My boys think they should start out at $10 an hour with great work conditions & A/C. But, then again... I have witnessed three different times in different places of business, managers that belittle, degrade or embarrass minimum wage employees in front of customers (ME) and I've lodged complaints. It doesn't surprise me when I hear employers telling me they can't find 'quality' help. Who wants to be treated like that for minimum wage?

    I don't really have a point, sorry for the ramble. I'm having a stressful day too.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    kkny it is very typical here too, all of my DD's friends are wealthy,, that's why they don't work. I am not wealthy but that's beyond the point. People work evebn when they are wealthy.

    As about enrichment. DD holds jobs that are enrichment, but she gets paid. She works for a media company, she does writings for them. It is enriching.

    I just don't understand how people in their 20s ask for money for a basic stuff, like mom give me a dollar for ice cream. ha. We pay DD's tuition but not for little things.

    DD works because she has to pay for rent and most fo the cost of living, she maintains rent when the school eyar is over, even if she goes places or comes home to me or dad she has to pay rent for her place. But even if not rent would she have to ask for money to buy candy? strange

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm a new poster, but long-time lurker, so I'll give a quick intro. My first marriage lasted 18 years, followed by 11 years of single life. During that time I raised our two daughters basically by myself. They are now both grown (29 & 24)and living independently. I remarried about three years ago to a man who has two sons living with us, who are now 17 and almost 21.

    It's funny you should ask this question, because it's been a bit of a sore spot this summer. Both my daughters worked every summer as soon as they turned 16; they also both worked throughout college (full-time during the summer and part-time during the academic year). My youngest SS got his driver's license as soon as he turned 16 so that he could work that summer. My oldest SS only got his license three years ago (because he had to in order to commute to college near us). He had never had any kind of job until his father made him find work last summer. Because his father didn't FORCE him to work this summer, he's sitting at home again doing the minimum asked of him. He's not developing a work ethic nor is he getting any experience interviewing for jobs. I don't know how in the world he will get a "real" job after college when he's not even gaining experience interviewing for basic minimum-wage jobs. He is quite lazy and is taking advantage of my good-hearted husband, who, ironically, put himself through college. So, like you, I don't understand it either!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I would not expect children to pay tuition. Mine does not pay tuition. How could she, it is very expensive. And she did well ins chool why would we deny her education? But i think when your tuition is fully paid by parents and you have free time, it would be kind of nice to contribute for at least some stuff.

    Of course maybe if we would be very wealthy DD would not work, who knows. But i still doubt it, she lives where you cannot survive even if you work like a horse and are frugal.

    Anyways as I see that everyone thinks it is common for college kids not to work, I won't tell it to DD. hahaha thanks everyone.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think it is typical for children of the affluent to not work (unless it's a great internship at CNN or something) but it is typical for all other "class" of kids to work.

    What do they do for money? They ask mom and dad. My friend's son was given a new luxury car when he turned 17. He went to a high school that cost $30-40k per year. He travels, sails, etc. His father says he wants him to have a good work ethic, but they don't really push their son, they cave . He gets a job and then quits when the boss won't "listen to his suggestions" (a 17 yo who wants to tell a 50 year old how to run his business). He's a good kid, but spoiled rotten.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My aunt and uncle are wealthy, but both my cousins worked while in college. I think working is not only about money. It is also about learning some skills and getting experience and learning some responsibilities and not having to ask your parents for every penny. Also learning about money and finaces. DD was never frugal when she did not have to work, she relied on me and her dad. now when she makes her own money she really watches what she buys and she plans her spendings pretty nicely. i am rather impressed.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I worked full time during the summers and parttime during high school years. THen during college and university i worked full time.
    I expect all the kids in my house to work full time in the summer and parttime during school semesters. They can readjust the hours to the minimum when they need more time for school. Unless they've taken an extra load of courses and cannot afford the parttime work i will understand. Taking extra courses mean more time needed.
    SD is trying to work as baby sitter but hasn't taken the course yet and SS does chores for extra cash here and there.
    My son is only 2 1/2 but he does chores and i deposit his earnings.
    Its a working family in our house and we make it clear to all the kids. Having no job in the summer is just plain lazy and we've also stated point blank we will not give money for movies, or entertainment for their benefit unless its a family outing. If its friends, let them earn the cash to go out and have fun.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Even my 21 year old SD, who is ridicuoulsy spoiled by her mother, is expected to work in the summer. Not so much during the school year, which for my SS, I would agree with because he does very well academically. For SD? It's more of an inconvenience and imposition on her social life. And, SD goes to a very expensive university (which I have been told by an Asian friend is a school known to be a "rich white" school......), but I think most of her friends also work.

    I was surprised to read that it was actually justifiable to some that college age kids shouldn't work.

    And, I agree with those who have said it isn't even so much about making money, but teaching a work ethic. My SD is proof that when you've never had to worry about paying for things, you have no appreciation or respect for money (so, you rack up late fees, traffic fines, library fines, etc. etc). That isn't doing the kids any good, but I guess some parents think it is just easier to pay it, then to have the child mad at you for holding them accountable.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think learning good work ethics and responsibility is an important part of education. It doesn't matter how much money you have. Too many college grads come into the work force with no idea of the responsibility of a "job".

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    What are the other 16 reasons you have seperate finances???

    DD23 works full-time and graduated from college this month. Lives on her own(moved out at 20) pays all her own bills and has for atleast 5 years.

    SD19 works part-time, at subway, attended college for 6 weeks. Hubby pays for her car and insurance.

    DS16 works part-time, no car, walks to work afterschool.

    SS12 babysits to earn money.

    SS10 does "extra chores" for money.

    SD9 does "extra chores" for money.

    Only exception to the rule is SD19 everyone else you get what you "need" not what you "want" you have to earn the "wants".

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I did work summers when I was in school, but the jobs were so different than when I started work as a professional. Worlds apart. The summer jobs gave me spending money, but that was about it. My first job out of college, as a professional, was with a company with an extensive training and mentoring program.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    kkny, skills that college kids can learn at their jobs can be applied to whatever professions they choose. It could be the usage of technology, managing something, organizing something, communication, writing something, using some machinery, compassion towards old people, whatever that is could be used in future career. Even if you work stupid job in McDonalds there are skills to learn: how to deal with the nasty boss, how to deal with rude people, how to work fast etc

    The hardest part for DD at her first job was dealing wiht pretty nasty manager who refused to understand that she is a college student and needs to go home on breaks. Now she knows to discuss this ahead of time, what are her breaks and when she goes home and preferably have it in writing so she does niot have to keep switching jobs every time she goes to see her parents.

    Once again even if you have learned nothing at your college job (which is rather strange) you can learn how to manage money. Your money, not mom's and dad's.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Fd, with all due respect, the technology skills and communication skills at a lower level job are not comparable to the ways in which technology is used in my profession, or what I would hope for my DD. In all liklihood the type boss at McDs is not the type of boss in my firm. As to knowing to give people a heads up, I would hope my DD learned that in dealing with teachers, etc. I am not saying it is wrong to work over summer, I just have reasonable expectations as to learning. As to managing my own money, or my daughter her own money, the amounts are so small it is about the same as an allowance. If she were any less careful with my money than with hers, I would have greater concerns. But I don't.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Maybe DD could learn a little humility and humanity from her McD boss, before she heads to her expected upper echelon boss.....

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Learning how to be an employee is a universal skill.

    My children (steps, yes, but they ARE my children) are already working--DD17 is an assistant at camp for her gymnastics teacher and she works PT at a pet shop, and DS14 has a paper route. Both their mother and my DH are in agreement that these children need to do SOMETHING that contributes. I couldn't agree more.

    I would NEVER want either of them to think that there is a job that is "beneath" them or a job that they couldn't do. Work is work is work. We all have different abilities and motivations but virtually across the board we all have to do something to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. Those things aren't cheap and there isn't ANYONE entitled. You need to EARN. I tell them all of the time that they are in charge of their own destiny. You can have anything that you want--you just have to be willing to work for it.

    I ask the minimum of them in terms of housework since they're not here full time, and there isn't much of an argument when I do. I'm VERY proud of them. Good kids.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I agree with Vivian. Too many people in this world believe that certain jobs are beneath them. If nothing else, I think many jobs that teens have help teach them a sense of appreciation for people who are not as fortunate as they are and must do this kind of work full-time to make a living. A number of these jobs are certainly not easy; I waited tables throughout my high school and college years and being on your feet eight hours a day is tough!

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My kids who are in college are working full-time this summer, but I have never heard of anyone's child, mine included, being able to find a full-time summer job at at fast food place or retail, because they don't want to have to pay benefits. Most of the kids in this area complain about not getting enough hours - the companies would rather hire 10 kids at 10 hours a week than 5 at 20 hours.

    Every single financial aid package that my kids have received has limited them to no more than 8-10 hours a week of work-study during the school year.

    There are almost no jobs for kids under 16 except babysitting - most of my neighbors hire landscaping companies or mow their own lawns, and the paper routes are all done by adults in cars.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My DD was fortunate. The summer she was 14 she was able to obtain a job because her Dad lives in a city where they guarantee any child who shows up for interview, good atittute, and obtains work permit a job. It is an unusual city in that it has a large business base but not many residents, and not many with children. When she was 15 she worked at a summer camp. Where we live, counselors have to be 16, but she was paid to be counselor in training. This year she will be a regular counselor. But until 16, it is tough for children to find summer jobs.

    All this being said, I don't agree that learning to be an employee is a universal skill. Different jobs require vastly different skill sets.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Sure it is. We all need to learn how to take direction from a superior that is NOT your parent, we need to learn how to talk, dress, act in the workplace. We need to learn how to interview. We need to learn how to handle the dynamics of co-workers. There's nothing job-specific about those skills, and there's no way to do a good job of teaching them in school.

    But whatever, KK. I suppose that scooping popcorn at the movie theatre requires a vastly different skill set than detasseling corn....

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    And I would maintain those dynamics are much different in a McDs job than in a professional job. And I have worked in a fast food job (while in school). You may be right that scooping popcorn is similiar to detasseling corn. I wouldnt know. I think even an unpaid internship can be more realsitic of a future career than a fast food job.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Unfortunately, around here you have to pay to be a counselor in training.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Yes, KK, far be it from a child of yours to have to waste their time working a fast food job.

    Your arrogance is astounding.

    But that's okay. Your daughter is obviously MUCH better than mine. LOL Whatever...

    I won't be back.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    KKNy My intitial question was about college age people not 15-year-old kids. Of course there are not too many jobs available for 15-year-olds compare to 21-year-olds. I don't understabnd why, kkny, you keep on talking about what your 14-year-old daughter did. Of course she could not hold any kind of decent job at 14.

    DD works for a media-film company doing research for them and collecting data for them as long as writing reviews etc. And her other job is for a cancer research company. Both jobs include skills that are helpful for her learning, resume and networking, getting to know people.

    This might not be a perfect kind of job but it also pays her bills.

    I am glad if your daughter will not have to work but my point was not about what people can or cannot afford. My daughter's job experience goes on her resume and builds up a network and teaches her how hard it is to make a living. But maybe yours won't need any of that, good luck with that.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    FD,

    I think I initially brought up the issue of kids under 16 not being able to find jobs - my younger kids would love to find a regular job, but they are few and far between.

    Finding full-time summer employment is difficult no matter how old you are. One summer one of my kids juggled three retail jobs - and she ended up working 12 or more hours some days, and not at all others. They were forever wanting her to work conflicting hours.

    I am not sure what my kids have learned from their many retail/fast food jobs, but I know what I have learned - the bosses often steal the tips, ignore the child labor laws, and are completely unable to plan ahead.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    FD,

    Nick and Cat also brought up children under 18/children working in fastfood type jobs etc. Those jobs are a world away from your DDs college job. FD, I am glad your child had the jobs she did, they do seem worthwhile. Kudos to her for finding the jobs. These are not the same as children under 18 being encouraged to take any job around.

    And TOS I agree. Where I live Walmart has been heavily fined for among other things having children under 18 illegally operate dangerous equipment. Its one thing to think your child will be a cashier, then is injured operating a meatcutter, baler, etc.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    all right you still want to discuss CHILDREN working. OK

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm chiming in here and forgive me if I didn't read every post completely... I was laughing too hard and it got a little blurry through the tears.

    Whoever told KKNY that she is being arrogant is being nice. What a SNOB!!! I'd hate to ever have to work with someone that has no clue how the real world works... wait, I meet THOSE people everyday. It's funny how I can tell which attorney's worked their way through school and which ones worked 'menial' jobs before they became lucrative in their law firms. You can always tell the ones that never worked and the parents paid for them....

    How can you teach your children to get along with ALL the different types of people in the world if you limit them to only meeting the type of people YOU think they should or work in jobs that YOU think are right for them?

    I started working for a paycheck when I was 13-14. Now, granted, I worked for my uncle so I didn't need a work permit (or maybe I was working illegally) and it was out in the field, packing bell peppers. I babysat when I was 10. Working (and pride in my work) has always been something that is important to me. It doesn't matter if it was working in the fields, fast food, retail, or social services. I have worked for the best bosses and the biggest a@@holes and have learned how to get along with just about anyone. I can sit comfortably in social situations with an attorney, judge, business owner, meat packer, cashier, or the person that mops the floors of McD's. And I disagree that you can't find a job that offers enough hours. If you want to work, you will work. I worked for Target in my early 20's (college age but I had kids) and they would only give me 15-20 hours. I stayed after my 5 hour shift as a cashier and asked other managers in other departments if they needed me. I could usually pick up 2-3 hours when there would be someone from another department had called in or they were short handed. I usually worked 35-38 hours a week there. Yes, they didn't give me 40 because they didn't want to give benefits, but I didn't allow them to limit me to 15 that I was scheduled. If they had said no to more hours, I would have gotten a second job to make up the difference. The biggest thing that holds people back is usually their own attitude, thoughts or beliefs. If you talk yourself out of it, then of course you won't get anywhere. It's not easy, but then again... life isn't easy. That is also a good life lesson to teach your children. I'd rather they learn it at 19 from me than at 42 from their industry being hit by the economy and having no idea what to do.

    People are all people. Some of the most powerful and influential people worked at McD's. And there are more than a few people out there, sitting in a prison cell, that had parents that thought their kids shouldn't have to work because they had to get an education only or gave their kids a life of 'privilege'. The Menendez brothers come to mind... so does Dana Ewell.

    What a disservice it is to a child that grows up and doesn't know how to get along with all people because they were never taught. Sure, not many people are going to find a job at McD's as a platform for a grand career in business, but it can teach many of the basics of life.

    The things learned in fast food jobs? 1. The customer is always right. I was taught to provide good customer service and to do what is necessary to make the customer happy.
    2 Image is important. I was taught that it's important to keep the dining areas clean and present the product to the customer in a manner to make the customer want to return to the business again.
    3. How to deal with difficult people. Whether it was a boss or manager that was on a power trip or an irate customer that treated the employees like dirt (probably people that have never worked a 'menial' job because their parents put them through college and thought it was beneath them to work in fast food), I learned how to handle those situations with tact and grace, without losing my temper or running away crying. That was probably the best thing I've ever learned because now, in working for myself, I do come across people that are rude or demanding but in the end, I know how to make my customers happy and I have been successful because of it.

    You may be able to learn how to schmooze people that you hope to rub elbows with... the creme de la creme, but if you don't know how to talk to the 'average joe', then it can be a harder fall from grace when something happens in your life to bring you down. Nothing makes that more apparent right now with the economy being what it is, especially the housing market here where I live.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Ima,

    1. Some people are nice to others, some not. I dont think having worked in retail/fast food necessarily has any correlation with later life. There is another distinct possibility -- that people who see abusive bosses (e.g. yelling, intimidating people) emulate that behavior.
    2. The customer is not always right. In my business, if a customer indicates he will be violating law, and can not be persuaded to change, he will politely be shown the door. Difference between professional jobs and fastfood.
    3. Yes I agree, not good to cry etc. on job. I donÂt think my DD needs a fastfood job to understand that.

    I worked summers while in school, as does my DD. DoesnÂt make either of us better or worse people. All I am saying is I donÂt agree with people who think children who will go on to professional jobs learn from retail/fastfood

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    1. If you have never interacted with someone outside of your social status you will either look down your nose at them or ignore them completely.

    2. Major differences between a customer and a client.

    If a customer is going to "do something illegal" he is escorted out by police ... or runs faster than the police either way he is no longer a customer.

    3. If everything is handed to you on a silver platter you end up with a sour palate.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I put myself through four years of college 1997-2001. I worked 40 hours a week at a local pharmacy as a cashier, and still had time to date, join clubs and be heavily involved with my sorority. My parents never had the money to send me to college, and aside from that there never was an expectation in my family that parents were obliged to provide a college education. I decided that I wanted to go and they helped me navigate the federal aid and scholarship processes. They did help me out occasionally with money for gas or textbooks, but I had to ask.

    I turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year in high school and paid most of my own expenses that year including license, gas, registration and maintenance for my own vehicle which I had bought with summer job money at age 17. It is unfortunate now that I have such a heavy student loan debt from my undergraduate and graduate years, but I also have a very responsible relationship with my finances and a very high-paying job. My parents' way wouldn't work for everyone, and I have had very heated debates with my friends, nearly all of whom were much more priviliged than myself. But a lot of it is about expectations, and I kept mine low of my parents' financial support and high for myself in regards to accomplishments. Whenever I thought about messing up the lack of a financial safety net kept me on the straight and narrow. I made all of my own decisions about lifestyle and finance and loved not being beholden to someone bankrolling me - i.e. "We'll take your car away if you get that tattoo" etc.

    (BTW, both of my parents came from large/poor families and put themselves through university, too.)

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My financial situation, and cultural expections are similar to those of KKNY. I, and my family, have the "advantage" of being in a highly educated, professional sub-group of society. None of my children , nor my children's friends worked through high school. In university, none of them worked during the academic year. In the summer vaction period, some of my children did work, but not specifically for the money. They worked at positions that were of interest to them for their future career aspirations. Most of those positions were obtained through personal contacts with others also in the same social group. The money gained from those jobs was secondary to the direct career experience they provided; however, because they were jobs in professional sectors, the compensation was far better than a fast food job would ever pay.

    My children's friends experiences were virtually the same as my childrens, since most people with similar life situations as our family, lived the same way we did.

    The ones who did not work volunteered their time for the summer to various social causes, so in reality, they all did something. Travel, both domestically and internationally was encouraged, since the early 20's, before marriage and children, are a fantastic time to be able to get out and see how the rest of the world lives. Most of my peers consider travel to be part of a child's proper education.

    I do realize that for many, they MUST work, often at low paying jobs, to be able to afford to continue their education. I applaud that, since I believe education is of paramount importance, whether that education comes from a classroom, or from other sources.

    The "job" is just a means to an end. There is no right way, nor wrong way here. It;s not necessary to insist that what your children, or what you did, is the right way and everyone else is screwing up. This issue is a matter of financial necessity, personal choices, and individual needs. Its not necessary to insist that someone who doesnt do it the way you did is wrong.

    Unless there is a driving need for the money, I do not see the value in forcing someone to take a fast food job. I dont believe that the job in itself is the primary thing. What is more important is that each child, although by that time they arent really children, is able to be guided into finding a way to reach outside of their family circle and put their toes, so to speak, into the world of adult life, and/or the world in general outside of their family.

    If any of my children had actually wanted to work at Wendy's for the experience, I would have been supportive. I firmly believe that children should have the emotional support of their parents, no matter which route they choose in life. Their road is not necessarily the road I would choose, but its their life, and their right to live it as they choose.

    Each child is different as well. Some children are ready to spread their wings long before others do. I would not encourage sloth, nor would I be paying for someone to do nothing at all. However, a job for the sake of just a job isnt something I would insist on either.

    As for manners - It has been my experience that manners come from upbringing, and are pretty well set by the time a child is in high school. THe skill of getting along with people has nothing to do with which job one takes on.

    In my experience, there are far more trashy, argumentatitve, obnoxious people working in fast food, who cant get along with others, than there are in professional circles. If that makes me a snob, so be it.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wow Kathline...

    All that proper upbringing and education you received at a University and you miss the point entirely.

    Don't they have common sense 101 at the University?

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I thought Leona Helmsley was dead.....

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Why is everybody talking about fast food jobs? Like there are no other jobs available? If you think that fast food jobs teach nothing, then why not look for something else? If your kids don't like fast food jobs then why not look for something different?


    Once again kathline and kkny this is nothing to do with financial abilities. DD attends expensive college and obviously she does not pay tuition, so obviously we can afford it. You also have to realize kkny and kathile that people live in all kind of different places. DD attends University of London not a College of who knows what. Even if you never visited London, you have probably heard that it is one of the most expensive city in the world, if not the most expensive. DD's tuition and books are paid (and it is not cheap) but she has to make her own cost of living. She is an adult who lives on her own with her partner with whom she share expenses. Adults work. She is not a child. That's what my point was all along. When they are adults, we should still help them wiht their education because they cannot afford it. But completely fincially supporting the other adult is rather strange to me.

    And who can financially support another adult (your kid or whoever) who lives in London? No matter how much money you make? So when people want somehting, then they work for it. DD wants to live and study in London, so she works for it. If your kids want to do something else, then maybe they don't have to work for it.

    There is no job just for the sake of a job, kathline. Jobs that do not bring any intellectual rewards are still bringing you something: the MONEY that you can spend on soemhting else such a travel or books (if let's say you don't need money to pay bills). There are no jobs that mean nothing.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Anyone with an IQ of 110 can get good grades in college/university if all they have to do with their time is study.

    On the other hand, the kid who works while in college and still gets good grades is the one that I want to hire.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Exactly, june! If a 22-23 year old applies for first job and he/she never worked in their life, I'd rather hire the one who at least had summer jobs.

    And BTW all these parents whose kids do not work (the ones I was talking about in my initial post) are not happy their kids never work. It is not about money, they want their kids to have expereince and being able to deal with finances. They complain and one mom asked how I made DD to work. LOL

    Kids are alzy and don't want to work and parents aren't happy. So my intitial post was nopt about how wealthy people don't have to work fast food jobs. It was about college age adults not willing to work because they are LAZY. And think it is OK to milk their parents all the time.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Absolutely, FD. I've seen kids do the exact same thing. One actually was a friend of mine from high school and college.

    Her parents were wealthy. She never worked in high school - or college. She was on the National Honor Society in high school so she was quite smart when she wanted to put forth an effort.

    Her parents bought her a brand new car in college and she had a nice apartment and a credit card with no limit. She ended up flunking out of college in her senior year because she decided it wasn't important to go to class and stayed home to watch all of the soap operas.

    Her parents finally cut her off and she freaked out. She came to my sister and me crying and begged us to let her live with us. We reluctantly agreed but soon found her sponging off of us!

    We were both going to University full-time, working nearly full-time hours and studying like crazy. We were paying rent, buying groceries, paying for our expenses, etc. and she just lounged around all day long, watching television, eating our food and making a mess. She didn't even make her bed!

    It didn't take long until we got fed up with her and we called her Mother and Father and told them to come and get her. They did.

    It was clear her parents didn't like her laziness and her lack of initiative, but they did enable her by giving her everything she needed and then not expecting any accountability in return.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I didn't work while I attended college, except for 1 summer. My parent's were not wealthy, but the school I attended was not expensive either. I got straight A's and after graduating from college over a decade ago, I've only been unemployed for 4 weeks..I got a job before that severance ran out.

    However, I would encourage college students to try and get internships. I employ summer interns every year and it looks very good on their resumes.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Lola, I agree with you. Grades, then internships, best road to long term career success.

  • 16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I worked full-time all through college. During the first few years I worked at a store as an assistant manager. Then I had my son and needed a job with more flexibility so I began working in a daycare full-time. I also had a temp job working for the police as a clerk.

    All 3 jobs gave my great interviewing skills and work ethic.

    I think the temp job for the police gave me the most interview experience as I was sat down at a table and interviewed by about 5 people. They commented that I was by far the best interviews they had.

    When I worked as an asst. manager I learned many skills, such as training people and dealing with customers that I carried over into my profession.

    And working in daycare was also useful because I am a jr. high teacher.

    None of these positions were high paying positions, but they all gave me valuable experience. Maybe teaching is not the high class job that some are used to. But, I do consider it a profession!

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