There's a lot of issues going on.

First, is he 'legally' the father of the baby? If they were married at the time the child was born, is he considered a child of the marriage? In CA, it would be the husband's legal child if they were living together as husband/wife when the child was conceived. Other states may have a different interpretation. See a lawyer.

Second, did they have any written agreement regarding support? My guess is they didn't, just verbal. It's worth a few hundred dollars to talk to a lawyer that is familiar with family law in your state. Our attorney says that in our case, DH was ordered to pay support before BM moved away and left their daughter with us. He only paid one month and stopped paying. She went several months without asking or demanding he pay. In essence, the attorney says there is case law that since she didn't request it, she forfeits her right to collect it. I don't know what case law she means or if it applies anywhere else, but a good family law attorney will have the right information. Look for one that is a family law specialist if possible.

Staying out late on school nights, sitting in a car in the parking lot of a bar waiting for boyfriend and smoking heavily are not good for a child, but they are not usually considered cause to change custody. It may be construed as a difference in lifestyle. Neglecting medical care, school, or neglecting the child's care would be valid complaints. If she lets BF drive drunk or drinking in the car with the child would be bad. If she is sober and giving him rides, then they are doing the most responsible thing under those circumstances. I'm a non drinker (child of an alcoholic) so I think it's terrible but that's MY opinion. The Judge may or may not think it's such a big deal.

If he put the $100 a week support in writing and then never paid it, she may be able to collect. If it was never put in writing, I wouldn't worry too much. Again, see a lawyer to know what his rights are. and by all means, if the child has his name, he needs to get a DNA test. If anything happens to your DH, she could be right there with her hand out claiming this as another one of his children.

Good luck.

A DNA test proved he wasnt the father of the second child. The judge accepted the DNA test in the divorce proceedings. The judge never ordered the support my husband and myself went to the court house several times to pay and they refused to take the money. The EX WIFE IS VERY BITTER she still wants him back and asked him the other day to forgive her and give her another chance. She has cheated several times. Its the exes parents who go to the bar everyday, the mom doesnt drink but the dad does. The grand father is the smoker, and the son does have health issues. oh did i mention the ex is a RN. 3 weeks after the divorce was final they came to an agreement (verbal) although I have documented everything to share 50/50 right now they have an agreement for 50/50 each of them has primary residental custody of their son. The problem is she has money for attorneys cuz she works as an RN and has no bills except for the visits to toys r us everytime she has the child. she lives with her parents. If she thinks my husband and I are having problems shes happy and nice but if she thinks we are happy she makes problems.

What Ima said.

It sounds terribly confusing. Good luck.

I know it is off topic, but are bars even open in the morning?

as about this whole issue it sounds like SS would better off with dad but I don't know if there is anything you can do about it...Like I said before when people have babies with wrong people there is always a sad consequence...

I am not sure if your issue is with paying CS or changing custody or EX still being in love with DH? I find it funny how many women say that their DH's Xs are still in love with them. I do not know anyone IRL who is still in love with their exes.

dealing with the ex wife and her influence over what the kids feel about you and the way they act towards you can be one of the Most difficult challenges as a step mom... that being said I am not sure which issue you are asking about... CS? custody? please clarify... But, if you just needed to rant then so be it... we all need to do that sometimes...

And FD I dont think it is so much that they are still in love with their exes (alot of the time) so much as they are poed that the ex has moved on... But, unfortunately I know a few women still holding on thinking that they are still in love with their ex... But, to be honest I really dont think it is real love anymore...but just some twisted story in their head that makes them believe that they are in love because "if we were together everything would be perfect" or "when we were together everything was so much better so great" Never mind the fact that they divorced for a reason and for some of them it was not a day to soon... So they just convince themselves they are still in love feeding off that emotional turmoil...instead of facing real life, picking up the pieces and moving on. But that is just my opinion :-)

I'm continually amazed by the sheer numbers of reports of spouse's ex-wives who were unfaithful... and also by the sheer numbers of reports of spouse's ex-wives who are still in love with their exes... and also by the sheer number of women, apparently, who cheat on men they are forever madly in love with... and also by the fact that so many women have the TIME and ENERGY for all this unrequited-yet-unfaithful love! Astounding! Who knew? And here for years society has presented us with messages that it is the MEN who "can't" (like, literally, can't do it) stay faithful and are constantly cheating on their wives or girlfriends, or planning to... No wonder there's so much divorce: it would seem no one on this earth can keep it in their pants! What a world gone crazy!

Serenity - AMEN!

I can't believe that women cheat, divorce and subsequently demolish their ex-husbands physical posessions and emotional stability and pride, take their kids away AND then say to their 8 y/o daughter "I wished I had never divorced your dad". WTF!?!?!?!?!? That actually happened to my FSD while her BM was PREGNANT with her current husband's baby!

Today at my stepsons kindergarten graduation, his mother made a seen. I really think shes bipolar. My husband and is ex have 50/50 and an agreement that when its their day whatever comes home from school stays with that parent unless its something that both parents would like to have so they will make copies and give it to each other. The problem is that I bought a copy machine for home so I could provide the ex-wife with copies she has never given my husband a copy of anything. Today their son got an award so my husband told her he would make her a copy (todays his day) and give it to her this evening, she snatched the folder and said she deserved it more.. Ok who died and said she has more rights than dad does. I am so sick of women thinking because they had the kid they make the rules. EXAMPLE_ my husband had to go on a business trip last week and he planned on leaving after he took his son to his mother on Friday for moms weekend. She called and said since theres no school friday and its her day or monday which is dads day can she have him thursday and he can have sunday. So my husband said yes that would be fine well sunday came around and she refused to give him to his dad. OMG I cant take it anymore