possibly pregnant, totally lost
I've posted here before, but a quick intro: 26, 2.5 year relationship. He has a young child. For the first six months of our relationship, he lied and cheated on me with the mother of his child. Then, after we decided to try to make it work, and were living together for about 6 months, he cheated on me again with a girl we both worked with(we were working in the service industry). That led to me quitting and him moving out, but somehow we decided to try to make THAT work. After another 6 months of us casually hanging out, he moved back in. Now, we live together and his kid stays with us part time. Things go up and down with us. Lots of trust and insecurity issues, obviously. He got a new job at another bar, something I am none too happy about and the latest cause of our arguments. So, now I am suspecting I am pregnant, totally an accident. Not confirmed yet, but if so, I am so scared. Last night we got in an argument because every time he works, he ends up home 4 or 5 hours after the place closes. He says theres just a lot of side work and it's not that I don't believe him about that, but it's frustrating because he used to be far more sensitive to me asking questions about where he is and what he's doing. Now, he says I'm ridiculous and he dreads work because he dreads my questions about it. I understand that I chose to be in this relationship but he promised me he would not get angry over my insecurities because he is the cause of them. I was planning to tell him I might be pregnant last night, then we got in an argument and I just blurted it out. Today we argued again because he is still pissed about my questioning him, and He left with no kiss or hug. Then I sobbed for like an hour and couldn't stop. He says I'm mean to him and no longer sweet like I used to be. I have repeatedly told him that we are both responsible. My reactions drive his and his drive mine and so on. So I'm just really upset and scared and nervous and feel alone. If I am pregnant, I don't want an abortion but I also don't want to bring a child into an unstable home. Please help me. Thank you.