my stepdaughter is ruining the relationship between me and her fa
Hi, there every-one
I feel very alone right now as i haven't shared this story before.
i have been together with my partner for 8 years, he moved in with me as he had lots of debt left by his ex, which he was able to pay off by moving in with me ...meaning my rent was cheaper etc etc, hes kids had to move out of his home as he was adamant that they should get their life's together so he could start living his own life....meaning moving in with me!
Any-way he always kept in touch with his kids and we visited them whenever we had the opportunity.
Soon my partner was called on a regular basis due to one of them breaking up with boyfriends ...not having enough money etc etc...the list is endless.
As much as i tried to help..i soon realized that it was their father they listened to i have always felt as if i`m in the back boiler, they smile at me and try to be decent in my presence but deep down i can see they don't want me in their fathers life, one of them actually said that i changed their father!
I`m not the cause of their father`s divorce..hes wife left him 14 years ago for a french man and he was left with his kids.
The problem now that i have is as follows ...
His youngest daughter who is 27 has a little boy of 2 who is about to be fostered as she cant look after him, its all going through the courts at present, her oldest sister tried to gain custody of her little boy, but was turned down as social services accused her of not being able to look after her own son let alone her sisters.
My partner is now trying to blame me for not spending enough time with his grown up kids and not being their in their life's...i think he wants me to adopt his grandson as he keeps telling me that if no-one else can have custody then his daughter wont see her son at all.
This has made me feel very uncomfortable as i`m 50 years of age, suffering with arthritis and going through menopause i`m also suffering with depressive moods due to all that has been happening lately!
I have 4 grown up kids of my own so i also have problems with them constantly but i try and keep it from my partner as i don't like to upset him.
Please help me i cant stop crying, i feel like i`m to blame for his kids turning out the way they have, i feel like i have taken their father away from them as he keeps telling me constantly ...THEY ARE MY KIDS!
In case any-one thinks i forced him to move in with me, i didn't have much say in the matter he just decided one day that he wanted a better life and be debt free and by living with me he could achieve it.
I love my partner with all my heart but sometimes it feels like his kids know how to make him feel guilty for everything that goes wrong in their life's........i have tried to speak to him about this, but its no use he shouts at me and makes me feel like i`m to blame, if i don't say anything he thinks i don't care, i`m beginning to think that i would be better walking away from everything and starting a new life for myself, i don't feel happy in my relationship, the man i thought loved me is now using me as a weapon to make his life feel better...please i would appreciate some advice as i cant cope any-more.
Thank you so much in advance