"I am sure whole new world for princess ...." HaHa... princess is right! She knocks on our bedroom door this morning & tells DH "You NEED to give me $15 for PE clothes!" My God, it sounded like BM. I talked to the school & they said she needs to wear the school colors but she does not HAVE to buy theirs. I'm pretty sure I already bought some when she was there before... She is throwing up lots of attitude and in revenge mode. DH is in over his head & throwing them both out on their ears has been a passing thought. I love him & he's got so many great qualities, but dang.... he is really an awful parent and she is a BRAT! She's gonna be 13... she's been marking off her calendar since she was 6, for the day she will become a teenager. I guess she thinks it's a magical thing and it's less than a month away. Like I said, I'm taking it ONE day at a time... but this week has been good so far. She is demanding he buy this & buy that... he came home with a new backpack yesterday... BM called him on Sunday to ask/demand that he buy her that. I think it's a little funny because he's such a cheap ass and I have always been the one to run to the store when she needs something but she doesn't need these things, she is demanding them to punish for sending her back to the old school.

I agree with JMT. Also food for thought.... If she originally agreed in an email to 6 pm and now states that won't work for her, how is that handled? I mean... Obviously either one of you can say, this doesn't work for me, I would like to go by the court order. I don't know... I'm just thinking here. We kind of had a situation like this a long time ago. BD could 'opt' to the expanded visitation but had to do it a the time the order was rendered. He didn't opt for it because she was little and he didn't think she should spend school nights with him since she was in kindergarten. All of a sudden one day, I get an email that states I'm opting for expanded visitation and will be picking dd up from school starting today on Thursday nights. I did go through the roof. We agreed it wasn't a good plan. The drive to her school in rush hour traffic on Friday mornings from his house would take almost an hour and a half. And what hurt me the most was that I didn't send her to school thinking she would be going home with him and not returning until Monday morning. We had never been apart for longer than 2 nights for the entire 6 years that she was alive. I went straight to the school picked her up and took her home. Called BD and left him a message saying I had her in my possession and that he could not opt to change his visitation so far in to it. It had to be done at the time of the order. He called the police. They came out. I showed them my papers, of course they said 'can't get involved' but they wanted to try to talk to him and get him to understand what the order says. Apparently SM was telling him it said one thing and he didn't even READ the order or understand it. Didn't even have it on him. That eventually was changed this year (4 years later) and he does have the expanded visitation but it had to be changed by the courts, not by him. He was slapped pretty hard on his little hand by the judge who apparently didn't appreciate a parent emailing and stating OH BY THE WAY... She told him, you agreed to this, now you want to change to this... Which is fine, but you do not have the power to change the order. You don't want me telling you when you will see your child, should not have gotten a divorce. (harsh but a true reality). As soon as we got divorced we had to accept that forever (until 18) that someone else would be deciding what is in the best interest of the child, since apparently getting divorced universally means, two parents who 'agreed' at one time can no longer agree on what they think is right or best. Isn't it funny how that happens. I'm really thinking if she wants to go back on her agreement, she is going to have to take him to court to change it. But since she seems stubborn and you each have a different interpretation of what the order means or says, court might be best. As far as the police, I learned from situations like this that calling the police is a huge no no to the courts. They can not do anything for you or her except protect you if you are in real danger. So don't do the same as her and call the cops. She refuses visitation or any of that, document it, gather enough info so you have enough to show she is no longer working with you but don't involve the police unless you are in real danger. One of the problems with involving the police to work out order disputes is that their involvement is not necessary and it is unnecessary stress on the child. I remember one time, they called the police and my daughter was hysterical. The police came in and asked what was going on. I was refusing to allow DD to go with then gf/now SM to take dd because it was not BDs weekend to have her. She 'stopped' by and thought she would surprise BD with a weekend with dd because he was missing her. Well I told her, it is not his weekend, I don't know you, I have not spoken to him, if he wants her he needs to call me. Not only that but the last time I had spoken to BD he told me they had broken up... I had not heard any different. It was just such a mess and SO embarrassing. There were three cop cars at my house and the neighbors were all outside. Omg what a mess... The only one that was truely effected was dd.

The problem is always trying to find the answer to who is right and who is wrong. The "right thing to do", if what you are looking to do is improve your relationships is to stop trying to make everything so black and white. Sometimes you are right, sometimes somebody else is right. That is the nature of relationships. Unfortunately, if you can't get past all of the percieved wrongs somebody else has done to you, you will not move on and your relationship will not change. Thurman is on here seeking advice, but everytime he gets advice that he doesn't want to hear, he ignores it. If he would try to get past whatever beef he has with his SD and if he starts to see her as she truly is, he would be much better off, and so would she. It doesn't matter what she does, in Thurman's eyes, it is never right. If she did something nice for Thurman, he would view it as being underhanded and for some alternative purpose. Colleen...I agree with kkny and finedreams that anybody who wants to send a card and to whomever, it's nobody's business exept for the sender and the reciever. So, if you sent a nice card to you SD's inlaws and she blew up at you over that and only that (and nothing else), then you are right and she is wrong. However, what difference does that really make? Why dwell on that? Why not try to move forward and try to make the relationship better instead of focusing on who is right or wrong?

For a special father's day gift, I dedicated my short stories to my dad...and they just published them on Kindle Unlimited. So excited!!! : ) https://www.amazon.com/Down-Well-other-Short-Stories-ebook/dp/B01HAOEZKE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1466380794&sr=1-1&keywords=down+in+the+well Here's the link...and there are a few small spacing issues, but I'm hoping to get those fixed tomorrow. I can't find them in my draft, so I'll call tomorrow and ask the experts. Thank you all for your support and encouragement! I know this is really special for my dad and I don't know if I would have tried publishing these stories, without your kind comments about the blog. Thanks, again!