It depends, Thurman. Has the guy ever sent a card to your son before? Has he ever even met your son?

It could simply be that now that son is living as an adult off at school and branching out that he is interacting with people with or without your acknowledge and/or approval.

I would hope you're not going to start thinking this gentleman is trying to steal your son away. It's a birthday card, not an invitation to come spend summer break with the guy. It's likely meant as nothing more than a nice gesture because the son means something to his daughter.

I just recently sent a card of condolences to my ex DIL's soon to be new husband after a passing of one of his close relatives. There was nothing sinister about the action nor it I intend any underlying motives...it was simply an express acknowledging someone close to my GS expanding family had passed away.

I'm going to assume the card SD's father sent was not gushing with over the top 'For my son on his birthday' and signed 'Love Dad'. It does not hurt for extended member associations of family to be nice to each other. I'm sure if son thought you would get all upset over son receiving cards for his birthday that son would have never mentioned it to you.

Well, gosh. I hardly think a birthday card is going to unify a family, but guess what? In a way, your son IS related to his half-sister's father, if only at second hand. I get cards from my dentist, but I don't impute sinister motives to him. It's merely being nice. Why wouldn't you want your son to be surrounded by people who are nice to him? Are you the only one who's allowed to? Sad for your son if that's your attitude.

Thurman, I have to admit that sometimes your posts comfort me because they mean that women aren't the only ones who get irrationally jealous when it comes to their families. Not to dismiss that this new development is causing you a pang of jealousy, but no, it doesn't seem like a problem as regards your son. If anything, it is a good thing unless there is something wrong with your wife's ex or you are afraid she wants to get back with him or something.

Most stepparents on some level wish those other parents didn't exist, or sometimes even those other children, but eventually as our relationship with our new spouse matures, having a bunch of connected family members usually comes to feel like a good thing.

I have expressed before that my husband's former wife has been closer to our family than has been comfortable for me, but I see that this is good for our family wellness. In addition, projecting my own feelings onto my husband, I kept my own children's father at a distance (even though he and I are connected, businesswise). Now after 15 years of marriage, I wish I had not done so. It was not a good thing for my son and daughter.

I thought it was strange when my daughter's grandma sent me a blanket that she hand made when I had my son. She is not his grandma. And the woman hates me. But then I realized that she was doing it FOR my daughter. It was a very nice gesture but at first it struck me odd and I wondered wtf?
Maybe your sd's father is just being nice. Your sd loves her brother and so maybe he sees that and was just extending that.

I've posted before that I think it's crazy that my ex husband's new wife's ex husband spends weekends with my daughter. But he apparently enjoys having the girls over together and enjoys my dd being around. I still think its strange but he seems like a very nice man and his heart is big enough to love one more kid. Maybe this is the same situation.