oh, Kathleen, it might be better than you imagine. I think they last about 1 1/2 hours. Depends on time outs etc. Years ago I didn't give a hoot about sports. Finally was compelled to go because youngest is an all sports kid. She plays in school and took me to college games too. I prefer college game over high school. Not as rough, they seem to play cleaner, while jr High and high school is soooo rough! DD played an advanced team last summer and I got to know the rules and the plays so much better which helped me to enjoy what I was seeing. It's as though all of us parents watched for the great plays and lousy calls. I didn't holler in disgust but some parents where pretty good at it! lol! I was good at cheering them on, our girls actually asked us to be louder so they could hear us as they ran. Guess I'm saying, the more you understand what's happening the better the game! Hope you do have fun even if it's just watching the girls enjoy it. :) Their time here is half over by now I'm guessing. What have you gotten from this experience?

Here's some insight from another Southerner (well, an all-over Military brat who has been in the deep South now for almost 25 years). Begging off church activities with feigned illness/fatigue: this is just the Southern way of getting out of doing something without offending anyone. It's hard enough to turn down an invite to a Metallica concert by telling your metalhead friend that you don't like heavy metal. Have you ever tried telling a heavily-churched Southern person that you don't want to attend their church function because you're not fond of their denomination or particular congregation? You just don't do it. You make up an excuse. Also, in what may seem like an odd way, she is respecting her husband. If he is a deacon, or member of the men's committee, or whatever, it is expected that his wife and family be a part of things. If she were to go to a movie, or shopping with "outsiders", etc. rather than attend a church function, it could cause discomfort for him. So her solution is to stay out of sight. Crazy, but I understand it. My observation of women or men who are heavily involved in their churches (particularly Southern Baptist or any of the more evangelical groups, and particularly the Pentecostal groups) is that all social activity tends to revolve around the church. Whether it is actual services, Sunday school, bible study, or socializing away from church . . . it is with other church people. Particularly if the children are grown so there are no other natural "groups" from which to draw friends (ballpark moms, band parents, neighborhood groups, etc.). My guess is that her husband has few friends outside the church, and might not be altogether comfortable with someone from the outside. So she may not be sure how to introduce new people to their lives. As for the martyrdom/narcissism angle, I think other posters have commented well on that. She's just your standard guilt-tripper. The change agent there is not for her to change, but for others to change how they react to it: Her: "I never get to do anything like that (sigh)". Other person: "That's a shame, you really should try it some time." or . . . Her: "We HAVE to get the roof blown off today." Son/Daughter: "I wish I'd known, Mom, but we already have plans. How about next Saturday?" She only does it because it gives her feedback that she desires.

From what I've read so far, both plans strike me as...starters. I also definitely like the U better, but that's not saying much yet. I'm making some assumptions here that may not be at all valid in your case. But, you're having trouble designing a kitchen you really like into that space. You have a lovely room for dining that you almost never use. Is the front living room what you think of when you look forward to getting home or also gathering dust? Yes, center-hall colonials are tricky, but is the way your first floor serving you all you could want? If you could somehow sell seldom-used square footage for $50,000 and the promise of at least hundreds saved each year in expenses, would you? And be happy to live in the downstairs space still left? With this sort of scenario in mind, to me the first plan makes expensive changes with absolutely no promise of genuinely expanding living into the space available. Enlargement of the kitchen should shift at least one daily meal into the space currently occupied by the dining table, but would it? Or would it just perch you guys on stools and damage the DRM's elegant ambiance? I know the bay is new, but it also looks like a former kitchen and breakfast room that underwent an unfinished transformation--that outside wall an obvious remnant of its previous life. (If you did this, how about doors to a nice brick or stone patio outside instead?) The second plan is a simple spiffing up of the parts of your house that get heavy living, so I agree it's a good choice if you like the way you live in the rest your house just fine as is. Small kitchens are greatly underrated and can be truly excellent, so once you work out the details to get what you want--excellent. I'm also guessing the coziness of your kitchen dining area is one of its big assets, so that part doesn't need to be larger. If this were my remodel, though, and if the front rooms were mostly unused, I'd be not be happy with the allocation of my space. People do find ways to make good use of center-halls without ruining their character. Those that do tend to sell very well in most markets. After all, a lot of people who like their look won't buy them because of their space-use issues. For my own list of wants, I like halls for themselves and would definitely want the center hall as a major feature--with nice views in both directions. I would not want a large kitchen, but I'd want a bit larger one laid out just the way I like it. I'd like two places to dine with different moods, but only if they were both used a lot. One would be decorated nicely enough for seating guests to dinner, but so formally that it repelled us most of the time. (We have this, BTW.) I'd want a living area that multifunctioned for daily living and allowed guests to separate--in actual chairs!--into different conversation groups. If it had to be in 2 different rooms, I'd want good circulation and communication between them. I'd want an inviting, comfy area I could go read while my retired DH watches drag races, and vice versa--he splits while I watch Design Star, (one of those embarrassing things I wouldn't normally admit to). I'd like one living space to be sunny, with doors to the garden, and I'd like another to be just right for snuggling up inside when it was horrible out. All this in a center-hall with those great corner rooms and a kitchen remodel opening up possibilities, and I'd start by erasing their labels.

Lauriescreams - Thank you! I felt like I was just getting into my groove with my last garden when the decision was made to move. We did not take anything with us, our house closed a month before our new house was done being built and we stayed in a hotel for half of that with everything in storage. I am slowly getting a feel for what the plan will be with this one, my first inclination was to remove the sod on the back slope and plant on it but now I am leaning more towards trying to convince the husband that we need to terrace it with a retaining wall. I have had a few different companies out here to measure and give me quotes but so far none of the quotes have come in yet. So far the plan for the roses is to plant them in sort of an ombre' effect pattern, with the deepest colors(Young Lycidas, Darcy Brussel) in the middle going out to the lavenders(Plum Perfect, Angel Face, Heirloom, Love Song) and whites(Earth Angel, PJPII, Winchester Cathedral).