Thanks for the idea about the wii...I know all my kids have them so I might get them to bring one. We're going with a taco-fest. Figured we have fresh veggies so we can use them in the meal. Making up a bit vat of taco meat, vegetarian refried beans, spanish rice and all the fixings. My sister will bring fruit for margaritas & we'll set up a couple of blenders on the deck bar. I've delegated out food & work to everyone and so far I'm getting good responses. Everyone seems excited. We've got it all planned out how to surprise her...I think she's suspecting something is up, but I have a trick for her. I'm also going to have everyone write out their favorite memory of her, some people haven't known her all that long, and of course, my siblings and I have our memories. It'll be fun to see what peoples favorite stories about her are. Also plan to have someone video and be sure to have lots of cameras out. Heck, there may even be some dancing! My son told me that there is a local store that had plastic margarita glasses on sale, so I'm heading there this evening to get stuff. I've got tons of streamers and decor, so we're going to have fun with this. Thanks for the suggestion of the tacos...that is perfect! Cold cerveza and margaritas...and it's supposed to be 95 that day...nice evening breeze at my house, sounds like a great party is on the way.

Sandy- Have you ever indicated in all these years, to either DH or SD's, that you'd like to be the one to throw him a party every once in a while (or just once)? How did they react when you discussed it with them previously? Did they say "no way!" or do anything to indicate that you would have to spring it on them, ambush-style, if you wanted to do it? In other words, what prompted you to plan it all without letting them know you were doing so? Of course you shouldn't feel like you CAN'T throw a party for your husband, and if that's literally what everyone told you, that was unfair of them. The thing I disagree with is the way you handled it. Clueing them in that you even had an interest in doing this would have been a good start, and this year in particular, you should have said "I know you girls love to throw your Dad his birthday party every year, but I'd like to have a more active role. And after all these years, I'd like to be the one doing the majority of planning for DH's birthday party this year. You're welcome to pitch in, and I'm not trying to 'usurp' the wonderful tradition you've had with him all these years... I just want a chance to provide it for him this year, and I hope you can udnerstand that. I'm going to start planning things this week..." Without any of this being said to the SD's, you've unfortunately made it come off like a hostile act of 'revenge'. What's more, you're now plotting to exclude them from their father's birthday altogether, which is out of line. This is most likely what's prompted their hostile *reaction*, far more so than the fact that you want a turn to host the party, which in itself should be understandable to them if you take the time to discuss it with them in a spirit of fairness. As for the looming question of who will host next year's birthday party, the only adult thing to do is for one of you (you or one of the SD's) to say: "It seems like this past birthday party for Dad was the subject of some resentment all around. I guess we all love Dad and we all want to feel like an active part of doing something nice for him on his birthday. What's a fair solution we can come up with so everyone can feel like they have this opportunity, and of course, so we all can share the special day with him? Trade off years for who hosts at their house? All of us plan the party together every year? Hold it at a 'neutral' location like a park or restaurant? Let Dad tell us what HE wants, and if it's for us all to take a hike instead of bickering, then we do so?" If this remains undiscussed and a fair compromise not found (or sought), his birthday will continue to be more and more of a nightmare every year because his 'women' don't know how to grow up and get over themselves. Not exactly fair to HIM, whose birthday this is supposed to be about, and I wouldn't blame him if after a few years of this he just wants to go to Hooter's with his buds.

Shhhhhh! No worries what she wore, not your kid, not your problem....remember your key to happiness is to disengage. Shhhhhh! Don't waste the time pre-discussing her birthday. If he brings it up, a simple 'oh, that will be nice, I hope the two of you have a lovely time'. But if it needs to be clarified, be sure he knows if the 'party' is at your house you expect him to make all arrangements and clean up...you'll be out with some friends. A csual but civil noncommitted 'hello' followed up with an 'excuse me, I need to go talk to/help so & so (whatever) is all the attention required of you at the family get-together. Sounds like your DH has his work cut out for him if he's serious about gluing his family back together. Her husband is not welcome in her brother's house either....but remember, not your kid, not your problem. Hope the food and the other socializing went well.

Will the party be inside or outside? I have decorated with all white, crystal/glass, silver, and gold, with lots of little candles, and it gave a very elegant and glamorous, but not Christmas-y, look. I got the idea from some web site; can't remember which. Anyway, it was just for decorating tables for a dinner party for about 18 people, but you could extrapolate. It was a challenge, because it was a birthday dinner for a dear friend who had recently been suddenly widowed just before a big birthday for which she'd had a big party planned (and of course cancelled), so we needed it to be nice and special without being too traditionally festive, KWIM? Anyway, I collected all the small glass or crystal and silver vases, candle holders, pitchers, jam jars, and so forth in the house -- even pretty or plain jars. You want lots. I put clusters of white mini roses in all of them and put plenty of white votive candles in each group. Then I wound around strands of garland made of sparkly stars. It all twinkled and reflected without using any lights. I used the same decorations for a dinner the day before a wedding, too. You could do something like that, just stay away from too obviously Christmasy stuff; definitely no red or green. Maybe blue or black tablecloths? I used white. You can also rent a few potted trees and put tiny lights in them and put them around the perimeter of your space. Stay away from evergreens; think more tropical or something like ficus. Happy birthday to your husband!