Hey Cindy: Reading your story is very touching. I think we are kindred spirits. I lost my mom when i was only a few months old. My dad and his parents raised me. My grandfather died when i was 6. so my young life was spent with my dad and his mom- my mee mee. Unfortunately, my mee mee died in January 2008. a week after her funeral, my dad was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, multiple myeloma. I was shattered. I spent the last almost three years taking care of my dad, going through the ups and downs of the chemo and bone marrow transplant working and than failing and working than failing, than ultimately finding there was no longer any hope. The last week of October, we found out the cancer had spread and the chemo stopped working. my dad went on hospic and i devoted three weeks of taking care of him nonstop with my stepmom and my older stepsister. November 23rd, 2010, a day before my 26th birthday and 2 before thanksgiving, my daddy passed away. This has been the most horrible time of my life. my dad remarried only when i wasx 19 and i do not have any blood siblings. my moms family hasnt been in my life that much but we are building a relationship presently. my dad has one brother living and his wife who have been consistently in my life since i was born. my uncle has stepchildren but no children of his own. my family is dwindling. my dad and i were EXTREMELY close. he and i finished eachothers sentances, laughed at things only we understood, and spent a lot of time together. in many ways, our lives were connected and one. He was my dad, my best friend, my hero, my protector, my everything. I played umbrella by rihanna for my dad and even made a video on the computer of pictures of he and i to that song during his bout with this cancer. I listen to that song today and it makes me both hurt and smile. I am just like you, trying to find my place in life, trying to find a way to live in a world without my daddy, without my parents, without a real home. I am too sad that my wonderful daddy will never get to be a part of his future grandchildrens' lives. I hurt for him, hurt for myself, and hurt for the children i will have. whether its been two weeks or nine months or forever ago that we lose our parents, it feels deep and fresh. its an incredible feeling of despair to be a young adult and an orphan. please feel free to email me: rachelen@aol.com. I dont know of ANY people who are in my same unique experience and would love to email with you and talk with a kindred spirit. God bless, rachel enderwood

I also suggest seeing if you can get the DVD's. We missed a lot of the 1st season; hubby bought it for me on DVD.. wow, talk about being spoiled. It was awesome. I don't know if there is a way for me to burn it and upload online to share; I would gladly do it if I could.. I'm sure it's illegal. lol If you watch Grey's; you have to watch Private Practice too because you might miss something, like last season when Addison's brother had the brain thing and Derrick had to fix it. The men on Private Practice are also hunks. It's a great show, last season we liked it better the GA.

Thanks for all your hard work Karen! Can't wait to read it in its entirety. Jodi-

1. What color is your car? Golden Bronze 2. Is this your preferred color, or did you "settle" for it? That is, if you'd been able to get it in a different color, what color would have been your first choice? This was my first choice. 3. If the color of your car was not your first choice, was your first choice even available for the car? That is, let's say your first choice would have been a deep green. Was deep green even offered that model year? My second choice would have been Red. We bought our Ford Explorer in 2012 and rarely see this color. Never get tired of the color, definitely shows up in a parking lot. Had a red car before this vehicle. Loved it but it didn't comfortably hold the 5 of us. Glad to have a bigger vehicle for the teenagers and all the other stuff I tow around.