When I got divorced, the judge told me that I was young enough to work and should go get a full time job. I already had a part time job, he said since I've worked before (stopped for 7 years) that I could once again work full time. There was no alimony. You really need to check to see what the laws are in your state and what the odds of getting alimony are.

If you have children, that is a different work sheet to figure out how much each parent is responsible for.

I do work full time and getting alimony at least for a couple of years is pretty much guaranteed as the difference between our incomes in substantial and we've been married for 24 years. My dilemma is whether to go for the smaller down payment or not. In the future (post-alimony) I should probably refinance to make the house payment smaller, I guess?

Julia - are you thinking longer term as well? You will probably be fine once the divorce is all settled but you don't have any specifics....so do you need to make this decision now? I get this advice all the time in my situation and hate it because I hate renting. But I am and I'm glad I didn't rush out and buy a house right away (different reasons). Do you need to buy a house right away? Could you rent and give it some time to see how the divorce shakes out so you can see how you will be for retirement etc. That would help with how much you can afford. If you've definately settled on buying I would probably listen to your lawyer. And to keep your payment smaller - can you buy a less expensive house or condo?

You can always use some of the cash to help pay the mortgage every month.
You need to talk with a financial adviser about the money side.
If you do not have good established credit you may end up paying a higher rate on the mortgage, if you can even qualify.

Putting more down will give the lender some piece of mind, but it can be very hard to get cash back out if you need it for something else.

I do work full time and getting alimony at least for a couple of years is pretty much guaranteed as the difference between our incomes in substantial and we've been married for 24 years. My dilemma is whether to go for the smaller down payment or not. In the future (post-alimony) I should probably refinance to make the house payment smaller, I guess?

Julie, what I am trying to say is, don't count your chickens before they are hatched. While you may get alimony, it might not be what you think it will, and it also could depend on the judge and whether your soon to be ex fights it or not.

I also should have had alimony. I did not have income for 7 years and before that had only brought in about $20k a year. The only reason I even had the part time job was because I needed money. This divorce was a case of domestic abuse where he was removed from the house; but while the judge was sympathetic to me, not when it came to alimony.

In your case, if you can wait to buy the house I would unless you are 100% positive you will get a certain amount of alimony. As I said, do some research to see how often it is given out.

Now lawyer advises to have biggest loan possible or husband can say there is no need for alimony, which would be 2 yrs. at most.

Scenario - Right now your ex knows how much cash you got from the sale. If you do buy a house, they may ask to see the paperwork, what you spent, how much the loan is. If the divorce is nasty he can ask why you went for a house that cost that much when you shouldn't have. If he wants to, he may be able to show you bought a house you expect him to finance.

I don't know your area, where you are from, or prices of houses, what you are looking to buy.

I am sharing my experience so that you don't dig yourself a hole.

I feel that renting for now may be the safest thing as was mentioned until you know exactly what is going on.

Have you asked your attorney how the money in savings will be viewed when it comes to alimony?

I live in a state where alimony is uncommon so don't know much about it, but it sounds like either way that money could be used against you.

I think marys1000 advice was great.

My husband fought alimony with his ex and won, so don't count your chickens before they hatch.

I agree with Marys1000 too. But if you insist on buying a house right away, I'd put down only 20% and keep some cash in an emergency fund. You can always pay extra on your mortgage.

When your life is in flux, don't 'bet the farm'. I'd put as little down as possible.

Agree with Chisue. Put as little down as possible until you have a firm understanding of your financial position. Set the extra $$ aside for the time being.

If, in two years, you still want smaller mortgage payments and if the $$ you set aside are still available - use this cash to pay down the mortgage.

I'm with Roselvr and Terrig on this one. I was also working full time and earning much less than my ex. In addition, I had passed up on two huge promotions to follow his career.

Even though we had mutually agreed upon alimony before our case went to court, I ended up with nothing and had to work two and three jobs at times to pay my modest mortgage.

Unless you are an avid DIYer, remember to allow a little extra in your budget for maintenance work about the house. A lot of my single female friends find that they need to hire someone to do some of the routine jobs that their exes used to do and that can add up pretty quickly.