Well, the answer from this forum is to declutter your house, paint the inside walls neutral, and sell your home.

Gee thanks...I was hoping for ideas that haven't already crossed my mind. Thanks for your sarcasm...just what I'm in the mood for.

You're posting in a forum about buying and selling homes. If you don't want to sell, consider making an offer on the kid's home.

You might try the Kitchen Table forum here on gardenweb. They chat about everything but you have to be prepared for a bit of sarcasm or 20 questions. good luck

Just to clarify I'm referring to The Kitchen Table forum and not the Kitchen forum, here's the link

Here is a link that might be useful: The Kitchen Table

You need to be more persistent with the police. One try isn't enough. Ask when someone will come by, and if no one does, call back. What if one of the kids is hurt on your property? Will you be responsible? If they are on your property, they are trespassing.

Or post on the Home Disaster forum as there often are posts like that there.

Spewey answered your question on that this was probably not the right forum and it seemed to me a bit humorous, but I can see you taking it the wrong way.

You could assume that anything left on your property belongs to you and promptly put it in the trash or take it to the dump.

You need to plant shrubs that will define your property line. Something with thorns would help.

In the meantime, continue to contact the police. Remove anything that is on your property that you do not wish to be there and take to the county dump.

Are there small claims courts in your area? If so, have the debris professionally removed, and file a suit for reimbursement. That should get your neighbor's attention.

if you want to go the small-claims route, I think you'd need some more detailed advice. I think you might have to give her written notice about the debris and that you hold her responsible, before you can get away with that.

I agree that you should throw the pallet out; I'm not sure why you haven't yet. They left it on your property; it's yours.

And I agree about the shrubs if you can't swing a fence.

Another thing that sometimes works (but you might have lost your opportunity) is to go to the KID (esp. when they're a teenager), and politely say, "I'm sure you didn't notice, but look at my lawn, and the mess. Please would you be a considerate neighbor, and not do this, or pick up after yourselves?"

A teenager is old enough to take care of their own messes. Plus teenagers are very focused on "fair," and on "not being treated like a kid." Make that work to your advantage. (of course, they're also highly sensitive to the feeling of "I'm being picked on" or "grownups don't want kids to have fun.")

Sounds like you're not on friendly terms with your neighbors. You've already tried asking nicely, right?

If you want any help from the police, you'll have to be persistent with them. Also, keep a log of everthing that happens with dates and times. Video tape is very helpful, too. I'll bet if you mention "guns" they'll be out there in a flash. Make sure you call the police when the kids are in action.

If you try speaking to the kids in a reasonable way, you might mention something to the effect that you can have that stuff removed since they don't seem to want it anymore.

Even if I don't like my neighbors, I keep on good speaking terms with them. Too bad you can't get a fence put up.

Stake your property with stakes and a roll of mesh, or even just some sort of wire, to clearly delineate the property line. This way they can't claim they "didn't know". Then, video tape EVERYTHING. Each time they are on your property, call the police, and file a trespassing charge. They will then be required to go to arbitration; if there is no resolution, then on to appear in municipal court...and mommy dearest will have to fork out $$$ for an attorney. Perhaps once she is hit in the pocket, the actions of her little darlings won't seem so "trivial".
IMO, paintball appears to be a legal activity in NJ...but trespassing on and/or defacing private property with anything..including a paintball gun, is NOT.
Hope this helps.

Should you call the police, the first thing they will ask is "DO you have no-trespassing signs posted." Verbal will not cut it, you MUST have the property posted.

Thank you everyone who provided constructive feedback. I went to the police today. Put my concerns in writing and left them a copy. Her's is in her mailbox. I got home and was pulling back out of the garage about one hour later. Cops were next door and they told me they spoke with the daughter, got the mother's work number and will be calling her at work.

I did try talking to her and she reacted like an irresponsible mental midget. I can't move the pallet because I have a slipped disc. I would probably blow a fuse if I pulled my back out due to this kid leaving the pallet on my property. Did get the private property/no trespassing sign and that will go on the lawn as soon as the pallet disappears.

Thank you everyone for the good ideas and for letting me vent. This is a bad time in my life and I can't afford to deal with either hurt kids on my property or any vandalism. Frankly, I shouldn't have to deal with it at anytime!

I hope you didn't place an unstamped letter in your neighbor's mailbox. That is against the law. Plus the mail person might pick it up with the outgoing mail before the neighbors find it(and it can get lost forever then).

If you need to give them something in writing, place a stamp on it and mail it.

(We had a neighbor drop a wedding invitation in our mail box. We never got it. We wondered why we were not invited. Ends up we were, but never knew it.)

Also - pallets are very heavy and bulky. Plus many garbage carriers will not pick up pallets because they are too large.

You can get a role of yellow caution tape from Home Depot and can use that as a "fence" if you tie it between trees, srubs, poles, stakes, etc.

Realize that in another year those kids will be moving on to cars and girls (and maybe smoking and drinking) and they will not be playing in the yard any more.

mscratch: "Should you call the police, the first thing they will ask is "DO you have no-trespassing signs posted." Verbal will not cut it, you MUST have the property posted."

Not in NJ.

I feel bad for you Nance. The thing about these problems is that you stand to be labeled the neighborhood witch or worse or that your neighbor is right nasty about it all and a feud erupts. I was going to suggest planting a hedge row of red barberry or something else prickly along your lot line, I don't know if that would be more or less expensive than a fence.

Thanks for the heads up about the mailbox. I mailed the letter instead. She got it...oh boy she did cause she responded with a nasty gram (and guess how she delivered it? She opened my mailbox and left it in there). She's pushed the envelope too far! How do I prove she left this in my mailbox? She can say she left it in my door. Here's why I want to pursue the mailbox issue
Basically, she did a critique of my house, told me that i live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids who have a right to play in their yards and interestingly, told me the kid is a handful who has been thrown out of school, has punched walls in their home and can't make any friends. I feel for her but she let her imagination go wild about my home....I'll give you a taste ..the window ac is ugly, my Camry is an eyesore (like hell it is, it's old but it's clean and it works) my driveway had weeds last summer...she got me there. I keep a clean house and this jerk says my house is filthy/ it needs to be power-washed...far from it...oh, I am furious. So, I'm thinking about not holding anything back. I'm gonna tell her that her letter documents her willful disregard for the hazard she created (pallet is trivial she says again) and that if anyone gets hurt, it would be a very damaging. document. Telling her I'm keeping a copy. And I'm thinking of getting really cruel (I think I'm writing because I want someone to stop me)...thinking of telling her that I'm not surprised to hear the son is a problem. That I always thought he was an odd kid...that in 8 years they've lived next door, I've heard her yell at him a bi-zillion times and honestly, not once ever heard her have a conversation with him. Going to tell her that she should consider that she's the cause of his problem, that I'm more concerned than ever that he may cause me problems in the future and that her letter documenting his violent tendancies could prove helpful to me in the future. I'm going to hold the letter for a few more days. It's either Wednesday or Thursday that marks the one week period the police suggested I wait before filing a written complaint.

Yikes! Settle down now. Do not get personal with her about her kids and how odd you think they are. That won't help anything.

DON'T respond. Save her letter. never let her know you got it. do not reply. do not say bad things about the kid in writing or verbally to her. it will get back to the kid and if he is really a problem, he might get back at you and and even if he does not you will always be looking over your shoulder. plus it could hurt his feelings.

so she made you mad. so what. writing a letter back to her will just prolong the issue and it will cause another argument back from her to you and you will just get madder and madder.

just drop it. forget about the pallet. who cares what she things about your car and your window AC unit. So what. at least SHE has the kid that is the problem and not you. I think that is basically what she was trying to tell you...that he is a handful and a pallet is a drop in the bucket compared to what she deals with on a daily basis with him.

you don't want to get in a war over a stupid pallet. yes, she is wrong and yes she is a jerk. too bad she is mean the kid and she probably did cause him harm emotionally over the years. but by you telling her this, it will do you no good and it will just make her mad. so just keep it to yourself and don't respond.

i had a neighbor go off on me in a letter over something stupid that they were trying to get passed in the neighborhood and i just ignored it and did not respond at all. nothing. and I am so glad that I handled it that way.

you will regret anything you write in a letter when doing so (writing) while mad. always.

I agree. Keep the letter but don't respond ... yet. File the compaint as planned and if any more trouble arises or you catch the kid trespassing on your property again, let the police know that the mother knows that the kid is trespassing and thinks that its ok. Forget about all the other trivial things she wrote - anyone reading the letter will just think that she's a psycho for bringing stuff like that up and will side with you. If you stoop to her level, you won't get anywhere. I just hope the kid doesn't retaliate in a way that will hurt you. If he does in fact try something or you suspect him of trying something, I would suggest getting some type of order of protection. She made a big mistake by saying that "there are lots of kids in the neighborhood who have a right to play in their yards (I'm assuming she means other people's yards') Trespassing is against the law and she just admitted that she thinks its ok. In addition, she did just talk about her sons violent tedencies which could help you get an order of protection if you need one. Too bad you can't get a big mean dog to patrol your yard ! Good luck to you. I feel bad for you since I know how difficult it is to have bad neighbors (I've been living with some for awhile). If you approach things calmly and rationally, you will get the upper hand. Its people like your neighbors who always look like raving lunatics in the end.

Thank you for calming me down socks, sweet tea and iyyanks. I'll save her letter, nix sending the one I thought I might and file the written complaint this week if the pallet isn't gone.

In the spirit of (today) Easter-I ask, where's the GOOD potential in this story? How can this story take a turn for good--on either side? That's (IMO) the answer here.

I've been watching this post and keep thinking there's a lot of stress on both sides--and then they meet.

Perhaps the ending can be an edifying one for both parties.

Focus on what you want, which I assume is for the kids to stay off your property. As others have said, you need to mark off your property with something especially if the kids are not sure where your property lines are. Don't think about anything else, what she said, who put a letter in what mailbox, and so forth.

Also, if you ever get a face to face chat with her, even if a policeman is there, you'll really take the fire out of her if you say something kind like, "I know how difficult it is with teenagers, but I am concerned about my property. And I'm concerned about one of the youngsters getting hurt on my property." (Even if your heart isn't in it, if you reach out in this way, it can help defuse a situation.)
I know you may have gone way beyond this possibility! :-)

You are going to have to be the mature, reasonable one, because it sounds like she has her hands full. And also because you REALLY don't want this situation to get any worse than it is.

Bravo Socks12345--Great advice, IMO. It may just be the charm to try and be disarming--showing her empathy while still explaining your just concerns may be the ticket. I inferred that the mother might've been trying to appeal to your sympathy?understanding? when she described her troubles w/the child to you. If you extend an olive branch she may cooperate to everyone's advantage.

Good luck-I do appreciate your concerns, I wouldn't like the situation either.

Maybe fencing is still an option. Something my father used a long time ago was welded wire fencing. It runs about $1 per foot. The posts are about $2 each and they are easy enough to just push into the ground. You may have a helpful relative who could put it up for you in return for a home cooked meal. The fence and posts comes in attractive forest green color.

How about a Rottweiler?

Trouble with dogs is you could be held liable for any bites they inflict, especially to a kid who happens to stray onto your property. If you put up a "beware of dog" sign you may increase your liability because now you have published the fact your dog may attack. Different municipalities take different approaches when it comes to dogs on private property.

Get that pallet off your property ASAP. Pay some other kid $5 to either trash it or put back into the neighbors yard. Every time they trespass, make note of it and call the cops - every time. Every time you hear the mom screaming, call the cops. You know what they say about the squeaky wheel . . .

Just because someone might be having a hard time doesn't give them a pass on treating people & their property with respect.

From garage sale proceeds, I got a digital camera for about $300. It will record a video really easily. It is very easy to transfer the videos to the computer and email them anywhere. This thing is way easier to operate than any video camera. If $300 is not sitting in your pocket right now, you may have a family member with one of these who would loan it for a couple weeks.

I had a similar prob a few years ago - children of uninvolved parents were cutting down trees at the back of my property, by the woods. With your slipped disc, you would be unable to respond the way I did, which involved chasing them through the neighborhood including leaping over three fences, and having a talk with the parent that appeared at the end of the chase. I never saw those kids in my back yard again. The trees eventually sprouted again from their 2 1/2 foot stumps.

Have experienced what you are going through. The best thing to do is protect your property, don't talk to her or the kid, and call the authorities when it is warranted. Talking to her will only get you more angry because she's irresponsible and can't control her child. Nothing you say will change those people. Protect yourself and your property is all I can say.

Does anyone know if the OP still posts here? I see this post is a year old and wonder how she made out.