Was your offer accepted (signed) in writing? Do you have a copy?

It is literally their realtor’s whole job to get the sellers their best deal. Yours was never the best offer. No one wants to deal with a VA loan, or no leaseback when they need it.

Thanks for the feedback. I understand the seller's realtor's position, but why accept the offer if they didn't feel it was worth the time? I thought there was some sort of 72 hour courtesy that is typically respected after an offer is accepted? Again, I understand we were not in contract, but we've been shut down for even looking at some houses for the sake of accepted offers already in the process of inspection (of which I'm assuming were also not yet in contract). Just confused by the process and my realtor was also mentioning that the move was a little less than honorable.

I have never heard of a concept of some days of grace before going under contract. My realtors essentially wrote up the contracts as part of the offer process. Naturally that process takes a certain amount of time, to get signed offer & get sellers acceptance signature. I presume that if a seller got, or got wind of, a better offer before he actually signed an earlier offer, he can just not do anything about paperwork he’s not yet signed. That can happen with a hog market or hot property or just random. Plus, I could not get an inspection without being under contract ( with contingency for satisfaction with inspection). Which doesn’t mean you couldn’t line up an inspector to save time, but maybe, were you somehow lulled into thinking you had several days to write up a formal contract? Of course I’m not any expert in RE law, but is your own agent not transmitting the idea of getting your offers down in writing?

It’s different in the state of NY. Written and subsequently signed contracts are deferred until inspections are complete and the home passes.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I don’t know NY law but if I understand you correctly, all was legal. Still, it hurts and feels underhanded. I went thru crazy town dealing my recent Sellers and their underhanded agent. People can be shiddy.

Sorry this happened, but without a signed contract, it’s not a done deal. 20 years ago, we actually had a signed contract on a house and had it inspected and the sellers backed out. We got our deposit back and they reimbursed us for the inspection, but it was still a bummer.

Sorry this was your experience.

In my state, a purchase agreement signed by both parties is a binding contract and is usually done immediately after an offer is accepted. A clause can be included in the contract that the house can continue to show and if a better offer comes in before the sale is completed then the seller can go with that offer but the buyer under contract has right of first refusal (i.e. match it or better it or seller can go with the other offer). Other clauses too, such as inspection clause. Yes it would be unethical for the realtor to continue to negotiate other offers once the house is under contract unless there was a clause in the contract that allowed that. But that's here, IDK about there where you are.

Both buyers and sellers back out of contracts all the time, regardless. I backed out of one at the ninth hour right before closing (long story...). Believe it or not, I did get my earnest money back, but I was willing to walk away even if I wouldn't have. Point being, stuff like this happens all the time, it's not a done deal until the property is closed on. But a realtor acting unethically is not the same thing as a buyer or seller backing out on their own volition.

It's very clear in New York real estate laws how the process works, and I'm sorry the people backed out of the deal but it was their right to do so per the law.

This came from the New York city bar, Purchase and sale of real estate.

Seller accepts offer. The next step is for the seller to accept the buyer’s offer, or present a counter offer. Even after there is an accepted offer, however, neither party is legally obligated to go through with the transaction at this point. Either party can back out of the deal without being in breach of contract. There will not be any obligations to purchase or sell the property until the attorneys write up a formal contract and it is signed by both parties. Execution of binders prepared by real estate agents is discouraged, because they are drafted as though they are legally binding, but typically are not and thereby create confusion.

Thanks for the feedback. I’m aware that we weren’t legally bound as we were not in contract…which I’m pretty sure I mentioned in thr original post. What’s upsetting is what seems to be the lack of integrity. One doesn’t have to break the law to be considered in the wrong. And how sad of a world is this where we can’t even hope for someone to do the right thing anymore - only that they remain within the confines of the law.

I get the realtor can’t do much about the seller - but they can guide them to not act unscrupulously in these situations. If someone accepts an offer, than it stands to reason that the offer was satisfactory. It looks really shady when the listing remained active after our offer was accepted but removed immediately after they received the second offer.

My understanding is that until a contract is signed, all offers are in consideration. Let’s face it - a seller wants the best price from the best buyer (I.e. more money upfront, better credit scores, etc). You can verbally accept an offer but entertain others. If you offer a good price, make sure you have a contract ready to be signed.

Hi Kendrah, thank you for that!

I totally understand the position you were in and the way you went about it seems totally fair. I’m all for honesty up front and can take it if they’d just been honest and said they’d be entertaining other offers in the meantime OR a ”best and final” type of situation so that we knew to be on our toes.

It just rubs me the wrong way in this situation because we’ve been denied even looking at some homes because they’d already had accepted offers that were not in contract yet. Why couldn’t this seller and agent operate with the same courtesy it seems everyone else is?

RedRyder as I understand it, in NY you cant enter into contract unless you waive inspection which 1. you can’t do with a VA loan and 2. we wouldnt want to as it was a recent renovation and would want to be sure of any mechanical/structural issues.

I suppose it’s a good thing the timing worked out because I’d be livid if we were out the 750 for inspection for them to take another offer.

I wouldn’t get so emotional and judgmental about this - the sellers want the best deal so they can move on, and the buyers want the best deal so they can move in. It’s a business transaction. Calling the entire world “sad” is a bit melodramatic. If you wanted this particular house that badly, you could have offered more money or put an escalation clause in your contract or otherwise made your offer more appealing to the seller.

I’m calling this situation sad because it is more unusual to expect integrity from people than it is to expect underhanded behavior. l I’m aware that this is a business transaction, but so is buying your groceries. You wouldn’t appreciate it if you got to the cashier first with the last bit of food and while handing your money over, someone else comes and offers more and takes what you were about to buy. Decency shouldn’t be such a foreign concept - but apparently it is. If it’s ”melodramatic” to be disappointed by that then so be it.

Integrity? Cute, and remember this when you prematurely make a deal and then realize you can get $30K more. There is no such thing in real estate and the reason for rules and laws exist. If there was I could of kept all the earnest money buyers put down in "good faith" on the many homes I've listed over the decades only to have them back out using what I consider unethical reasons.

The whole "it's okay to do because everyone else is doing it" concept seems a little juvenile, no? I generally try to live by the whole "treat others as you would want to be treated" guideline, so I have no worries about any future that would involve this situationfor me. Money doesn't drive my every decision. I work in medicine and while I need to get paid to live, I don't do what I do for the money...otherwise I'd be demanding - and can easily get - a hell of a lot more of it. It's unfortunate you went through what you did with those buyers that backed out, but not a reason to justify doing it to other people.

"I wouldn’t get so emotional and judgmental about this"

We are talking about a buyer using a lot of savings to purchase a home they love after looking for a long time. Buying a home is emotional. Many people would feel the same way.

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Bottomline is do your own research education yourself. Can you in any circumstance sign a contract contingent upon inspection? If you find another house you like and an offer is accepted but nothing signed, what is a realistic turn around time for you to get an inspection? What locks a deal in? And, are you going to potentially find this issue again because of your VA loan?

I do think it is important to familiarize yourself with the rules, laws, way things are normally done. Read some articles about home buying in NY State. (I read a TON before purchasing my coop in NYC because the rules were so different than in other states I have lived in and different than with a house.)

When I lived in PA, you signed a contract as soon as possible contingent upon inspection, and the inspection needed to occur in X number of days. When we were purchasing our house in Philly, I was the first person to see it. I knew the second I walked in the door that I wanted it. The put in an offer and asked them not to show it to anyone else. (They had 6 showings scheduled the next day.) They would only do so if we waived inspection. We had 7 or 10 days to get inspectors in to look at the place. If we didn't want it we could walk away. But were were not allowed to negotiate a different price based on the inspection.

We had to sign a contract stating this on that same day that we came up with this agreement. Yep, I saw the house at 10 am. My husband had not even seen the house. He was away on business. We up with an asking price. I remember sitting at the table until 1 AM with our realtor going over the paperwork and signing the agreement.

"As a listing agent, my hangup with VA loans is that a buyer who gets a zero down loan often doesn't have any (or very little) money for an earnest money deposit. When I'm looking out for my clients best interest, it's hard to encourage them to accept an offer with a low deposit, especially when the VA addenda really only benefit the buyer."

This from a reddit thread about VA loans. Read more there about why seller's agents might not want to deal with you as a buyer. https://www.reddit.com/r/realtors/comments/13ryknv/do_realtors_have_an_issue_dealing_with_va_loans/

Kendrah, thank you once again.

We are not allowed to go into contract without inspection while using the VA loan which, unfortunately, we must do at this stage being that we just paid off all of our student debt and most of our other money is in investments. That is not to say we cannot afford a home, we very much can, and have good, well paying jobs, stellar credit and are saving quickly, but in the market, are trying to solidify something sooner than later as our lease agreement isn't very forgiving and we need more space for our growing kids.

Realistic turnaround for inspection is usually about 72 hours, we were well within that window. I suppose it could be a hindrance in the future with the VA loan, but my husband and I tend to be a little risk averse (especially for a purchase of this size) and would rather not forego inspection even if we weren't using the VA loan. We are pretty decently educated on the process. This is my husband's 3rd purchase, my 2nd and we've sold one property. We have many realtor friends and family in the county as well but there is definitely always more to learn. NY is weird in so so many ways.

I don't claim to know all the laws or regulations, but I wasn't speaking on the legal aspect of this process, rather the ethical aspect. We've been told that homes weren't being shown as the seller already had an accepted offer (not in contract) multiple times already. We were under the impression that it was a somewhat "culturally" accepted thing to do after an offer is accepted to allow time for inspection and contract. To add to that, this particular seller removed the listing the second they accepted the second offer (which they did not do for us). They did not have any more showings scheduled at the time of our offer.

I suppose they have the right to do whatever they want in that regard. I understand money is money. I just hoped for the same courtesy that other sellers seem to be offering their potential buyers.

Thanks for the reddit research! I can respect why some sellers don't want to deal with the VA loan, but if that's the case, they shouldn't have accepted the offer, no?

It is an emotional process for sellers too. Maybe they didn't quite understand what the circumstances of a VA loan are (I had never even heard of one before this thread) and they got scared, the agent knew of someone else looking, and they jumped. All around crappy and disappointing. The buying and selling process is not fun for anyone accept for agents when they get their 3 or 6%.

I'm shocked any state runs real estate transactions this way. You have to pay for an inspection of a house that you have no guarantee of being able to buy? I understand there being market conditions where inspections are waived but it sounds like that'd be the norm there. Makes me wonder why NY is so different from the rest of the country.

Good perspective, I didn't think about it from the seller's perspective in that way.

aziline, it's horrendous to me too. It's a wild market right now and people lose all of their humanity when there is a dollar to be made. Shameful

"We are not allowed to go into contract without inspection while using the VA loan".

I don't believe this is correct. Fact is I sold a house in February of this year to a gentleman using his VA loan and I can assure you he was under contract the day after we accepted a negotiated offer. The contract included a contingency on inspection and appraisal. It took over two weeks before the inspection was done and we were a week away from the projected closing date. I don't know where you got your information and I don't believe VA rules would be different in NY compared to MN so there may be a misunderstanding on your part.

The VA inspections were intensive and I didn't expect $5,500 in repairs so we had the work do quickly. Two days before closing the VET (and I'm a VET myself) demanded an additional $8K in concessions to make updates to suit their liking. There is your integrity, and even after we kicked back 3% to the VET for closing with zero down he wanted another 8K. I said NO, and the next day he decided to go through with the sale before a cancellation was sent to his realtor.

Here again I'm not in NY, but my last home sold via VA loan. It indeed went under contract before the inspection was done; the contract contained the inspection contingency clause.

There is an other side to consider. When we sold our house, a buyer put in an above asking price offer before the open house, her agent said she was in love with our house so we accepted, and for $100, put a 10 day optionsnduring which we could not accept other offers. It was a 200k house. She came back trying to negotiate for 30k less! No major repairs, just updates that you could see in the pictures. When you put the house back, it is somehow tainted, we had other full price offers and they backed out. We refused any contingency period next round, offered access to inspection and only offers with ernest money down. Spld it as it was a nice starter house in a solid neighborhood. But i will never forget that buyer. She tried to come back with another offer and we told the agent not to bother.

The title of this thread is, “Am I Wrong To Be Upset About This,” and the OP is simply looking for validation. Several people have pointed out that her offer was not the strongest and nothing illegal was done. OP can choose to be upset about this and continue to seek support for her righteousness, or she can take what information she can from the experience and use it in future situations. It’s a hot market in many areas, and it’s not fair to those who struggle to submit strong offers, but they can sit out this market by choice because for sure the market will change.

Just as an interested reader, I was surprised about inspection before at least a contingent contract. The seller has to disclose things that are found on inspection , at least significant things, though of course can choose not to, as it may be hard for that to matter ( meaning who’s going to find out, when, who cares, what are actual consequences to seller). So I’ve always thought many sellers don’t want to be exposed to inspections unless is serious buyer with some skin in the game.

When we put our architectually spectular 1927 house on market (20 years ago, not today's market), we immediately received an offer near listing price and the buyer put down a $25k deposit. Our agent said to keep the house on the market and continue to show, which we were fine with doing. We had already purchased another house and were living there.

As we moved toward closing, the "buyer" (who was a corporation) refused to close. They did not point to any contractual provision (failed inspection, couldn't get financing, etc.). They just didn't show up. Our agent told us that we had to give the deposit back (she said that she even spoke to her broker about this and allegedly the broker talked to his attorney). So we returned the $25k. No penalty whatsoever to this scumbag firm. Our agent must have knew the backstory on this firm when we accepted the offer (she was very experienced and very tapped into the area), but she never mentioned anything to us. I mentioned suing for specific performance, and she told us not to do that.

The house eventually sold for listing price, but that didn't happen until a number of months later--annoying because you still had to cut the grass (over an acre) and have it snowplowed, insured, etc.

So there are definitely two sides to every story, and some times the buyer behaves badly.

I believe the escrow should be non returnable in situations as you described, and I wonder if it can be added to a contract without any contingencies attached. I'm thinking the corporation was running around tying up listings and continuing to look for bigger and better deal because there was be no monetary penalty attached, I'm thinking your agent was aware of this and could of even involved agents out of the same brokerage firm and told to clam up.

I tried to sell (sale by owner) a duplex in 1999 to a investor who put money down with no contingencies. I removed the tenants because he wanted it empty, and the rentals were month to month so It was easy. The second month comes around and the buyer throws out an excuse he's working with a bank for a loan needing more time and sent me a letter of approval for $60K to prove it.

But the price was $80K so I told him the deals off, and then he wanted me to sign a quick claim deed so he could use the house for a home improvement loan and I'd get my money in a few weeks. This is when I told him to go to hell! I hired a lawyer and had him served with a cancellation......and I kept his $2000 down payment. Yes I did, and waited for legal action that never came. I lost much more than the $2k, but prices were spiking and was able to sell the house 6 months later for $103K using a realtor.

Guess what, the new owner never made a payment and pulled out the boilers, cabinets, doors and anything else he could sell and sold the stuff. The bank took possession, sold it to a flipper who fixed it up and sold it for $175K, and the newest buyers trashed it and were foreclosed on a few more years later. Around 2009 I saw it listed by the bank for $25K with pictures and I mean it was destroyed. I originally bought it as a HUD foreclosure needing a lot of work so over 20 some years this house was foreclosed on 3 times and had a bunch of buyers behaving badly.

Wow Kevin! That is one crazy story!!

There are some scummy people out there.