I hope you don't mind if I hold your hand--I don't post much but I read lots and have followed your story with your son and granddaughter. I feel your pain. I pray for your uncle and family. I am so sorry. Sheila

You have my heartfelt sympathy. It's really a tough time to watch someone you love suffer, watching him slip away. Take care.

You have my hand also. I pray he doesn't have to suffer for very long. I am so sorry you have to go thru this.

Hang in there.

Nodakgal, of course I'd hold your hand. Good luck with the smoking cessation,I know it's hard. I'm so sorry about your Uncle Gene. I have almost no relatives left, just my Mother. Is there a Social Worker available at the home where he is? Ask about hospice care. That's for end-of-life care, once you sign up it's irrevocable. My father had hospice care when his liver failed, they were great. They kept him comfortable. So much so that, one night when he woke with a headache, they sent someone over with a bottle of tylenol. Whatever happens, post here and you'll get a hug !

I had several uncles but none of them were as special as your Uncle Gene is to you. Enjoy the time you have left with him and think of all the good times. He's one lucky guy to have you as a niece.

I know how you feel. My dad had pulmonary fibrosis and COPD. Toward the end of his life, I prayed the good Lord would take him. It is a hard thing to watch a loved one suffer. Just know that he can have a peaceful departing with hospice. I can't say enough good about them. Just love him with what time you have left. And know he is lucky to have you.
Bless your heart
Judy

It's so hard to watch someone you love slip away. Letting go is so hard. I'm praying for you all and hope you can get through this and remember all the good times and happy memories with him. It helps to keep those memories alive.

We are all here for and with you, Connie.
I'm holding your hand as well!

Hugs and prayers from me too Connie. You sometimes wonder why??? I guess, no I KNOW, it's not up to us. My Gramma was on Hospice, in her home, until the end. She was not in any pain, and kept very comfortable until she left us. They were in the process of getting my uncle set up on it when he passed away a week ago today. It's a great thing. I hope you have him on it, or will, soon.
Taking your hand...
Leslie

Connie,
This is a tough go for you-favorite uncles are special people. How lucky are you to have one who has always had a positive attitude for life and has spread his zest for happiness amongst his family.
Just keep your chin up-he's asking how YOUR lives are going as it's his way of saying "keep my zest for living happy in your heart & your spirits!"
Keep a big smile on that face of yours every time you're with him-it's surely what he wants & needs right now.
I'm going thru what Judy did, right now w/ my husband. He's been on the downslide for the past 2 weeks. It's not easy, to watch someone gasp for every breath & not be able to do a thing about it.

Thank you everyone. I know many of you are going through difficult times of your own and I appreciate it so much!!
I try not to show how I am feeling, I don't want to cry in front of him cause I know he'd tell me not to and then be worried about ME! Can you imagine him worrying about someone else at a time like this? But thats Uncle Gene....always has been and I guess always will be.

I did forget to tell you that in the ER on Monday they first thought of the possibility of he threw a blood clot, but something showed up I think on the x-ray (?) and it was apparetnly a plem ball or mucus plug or something that tore away from his lung probably while coughing so hard and it blocked off his airway. The Doc said they are usually fatal.

How many hands do you have? I'm holding, too. Also with Sharon/FL. (((Hugs to both)))

(((((Connie)))))
I'm so very sorry.
Yes, the docs don't know time....
they told us mom had 6 months, she had 6 weeks.
continue to visit and just be there.
I'm sorry

This was taken a year ago Christmas. My Uncle, DB's and I.
Maybe you can see the twinkle in those blue eyes?!

Connie, I'm sorry about your uncle. Is there anything you can do make things less difficult for him? When my sister was still able, I would rent comedies and we would play them on her DVD recorder - I'm not sure if the home would be equipped for that. Does he have a radio station or recorded music that plays his favorite songs? Is there any group in the area that has therapy dogs come for a visit?
Take care.
Lynne

Connie, you are my HERO! Whatever prompted you to quit doesn't matter. Just stay strong and determined. I lost my favorite aunt when I was 11 years old. She was only in her early 40s. I have never gotten over it probably because I could not understand it as a little girl, so the impact never went away. I still remember her so vividly. She was my favorite person in the world even though I didn't get to see her all that often, so I really know how you feel. Just imagine everyone holding your hand, and gently swinging back and forth, and giving you strength, and it is comforting.

(((Connie)))

I will hold your hand gladly. It is difficult to see a family member go through such hard times. Sounds like he knows what he wants, and does not want you to worry, but i know you will.
My heart goes out to you.

Trin

I'll hold your hand, Connie and remember your Uncle Gene in my prayers. It's so hard to watch that special person in our lives slip away. I went through that with my Mom and it was the most heart wrenching experience of my life. Be thankful that he has the DNR directive on his medical charts, even tho' it breaks the hearts of the ones he'll leave behind. My Mom did not have it on her chart at the nursing home when she had a stroke and as a result she lived another two years in total misery. Please post your feelings here whenever you feel like it. My hand and heart are always reaching out to you. Bettye

Sharon, I'm also sorry to hear about your husband. Good thoughts and prayers for all.

Nodakgal, Sorry to hear about your dear Uncle. Did Uncle Gene go home with Hospice? I hope so. Hospice is also able to give YOU materials on grief, anticipatory grief, the dying process. They have social workers, and pastoral care available to you and him.
Also, FYI, Hospice is not irrevocable once you sign up. May people revoke hospice because a new treatment comes available, or they move to an area not served by hospice. They can always come back on hospice service if they want to.

I hops the transition is as smooth as possible

I am so sorry for you. Reading about what a wonderful man he is just melted my heart. He sounds like he is a blessing to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing him.

You know? A lot of the time, doctors will give a certain amount of time and they are VERY wrong.

Please know that you and your Uncle are in my thoughts and prayers.

((((Hugs))))

He is still not sure if he wants Hospice or not, being in the nursing home I don't know how they will do it. I know its wonderful because they were there for my DD with her husband and his cancer, I don't know everything they did either, but know they both thought Hospice was wonderful. so the Hospice is still in the planning stages I think.. My other Uncle (who is first POA) has talked to them but I haven't heard what the outcome will be. I think the Doc said its sorta a process to get going on it which led me to believe it may take awhile to get it going???? I don't know.

Connie, I'll hold your hand too. Sending special thoughts for your uncle and warm hugs to you.

Connie,i'm holding your hand as well and lifting you and your uncle and family up in prayers.
Kathi

My heart goes out to you.
I'm sure you are telling him everything you want him to know. He sounds like a very loving a very loved man.
Quitting smoking is a gret way to honor him, good for you - hang in there with that.
best,
GardenSpice

Man I had to smack away all these hands!
Now I am giving you a big soft hug instead. And another..
Just think of your uncle going ahead to wait for you. Imagine the joy on the other side when he comes to them. More big hugs, Kathy

Aw Connie, heres a BIG hug for ya! ((((--))))

Give me your hand, & I'll help you thru this!

We're here for you--

Donna (^_^)

Hugs and yes I will hold your hand for you. Hospice is great source of confort for the entire family. At least look into it. It is measures of confort for the person. And they do have strick guidelines.

I will hold your hand through this difficult time. I've gone through it with my mom and my DFIL. If you use Hospice, they will walk you through whatever you need; amazing and caring people.

My best wishes that you can handle whatever comes your way.

I couldn't get through the crowd to hold your hand so I'll just pray from afar.

;-)

I'll hold onto your hand, also, Connie. And say prayers for all of you, too.

Tami

Of course I'll hold your hand Connie. It's so hard when the people we love are hurting and even harder when they leave us.

I'm very proud of your decision to stop smoking. Keep up the good work. You can do this. Besides you can't smoke with all these people holding your hands. LOL!!! Cigarettes do such horrible damage to the body. I wish DH would give it up.

Linda

Connie, I'm softly patting you on your shoulder. It's very hard I know. As a senior case manager (retired), a nurse, and recently widowed, I can tell you that most Hospices will make nursing home visits. They make sure the patient is comfortable, both with expediting appropriate medications, personalized personal care/baths, and nursing interventions. One lady I knew had no family left and the Hospice nurse stayed with her till the end. I just can't say enough good about our Hospice in Central Illinois. And yes, it is not irrevocable.

God grant you peace and understanding in your coming days.
Jan

Connie...I read this yesterday but somehow didn't post.
I was sure I did.
I'm getting real bad about hitting back before it is submitted.
Anyway I did pray for him. He looks like such a kind and gentle man. Hope he is better soon.

patti

Connie, I'm sorry about your uncle's suffering and I know how difficult it is for you to see him doing so. I'm holding your hand along with the others and sending you hugs as well.
Linda

How wonderful to have all these hands reaching out! Connie, know you are loved, and that your uncle's hand is being held as well.

The nurse said last night that it is on his chart he's refused Hospice. I am not sure why, it could be that his cousins wife is one of the two main gals? He might not feel comfortable with her? Or maybe he just thinks the nursing home care is fine? I really don't know.
He's been running a slight temp yesterday and spit up blood a couple times.

I'm sorry your uncle is in such a fragile state ((((Connie)))). Keeping my fingers crossed that he stays comfortable. Best of luck to you too on your smoking cessation efforts too my friend.

I'm sorry your uncle is facing lung cancer, along with all the other problems he has. I really hate this disease and am so glad you've quit smoking yourself. ((((Connie))))