You're not alone. My DH does no chores around the house. My kids have set chores but they are few.

My husband did everything that was considered a man's job. He wouldn't let me mow a lawn at all. I think the older generation liked being needed, some of the younger ones are just lazy. I couldn't move furniture without him kindly telling me "next ask me for help". He would also vacuum when getting the house ready for company during the holidays.

My dh brushes his own teeth, other than that I do the rest from the top to the bottom; inside and out with the exception of Anna's room. She is responsible for it, but I help her change the sheets on her bed.

It seems suspicious to me that a man who is disabled can't do anything except when it comes to buying guns, ammo and cars. He seems to be able to do that. That's just some built up sarcasm, because I'm ticked off at him right now.

Linda

Since I'm single/widowed it 100% me. I have to hire some things done.
Leslie

In all fairness I must say my husband is very hard working and puts in a lot of hours at it. I have no children at home anymore, but if it is something I just can't do anymore, like lifting, I ask one of my kids.

Sue

DH does a lot of big projects around here. I help but he does the main part of the job. Right now he is building me another raised bed lined with wire up in the garden. I help with the building part, but he does most of the digging. He is in charge and does all the major part of the remodeling jobs that we have done on the place. He really likes to work with his hands doing the carpentry, plumbing and electrical. I do the priming and painting and cleaning up.

When it comes to cleaning, I do it all. I can't remember the last time he helped. He will cook a meal if it is pasta or something simple like that, but I do the majority of cooking and baking every day. Even the outdoor grilling. As to gardening, I also do most of it. He does some pruning and cutting down of the big trees with a chainsaw. What is it about men and chainsaws? He also digs up the dead bushes or trees and big projects like that. I do the everyday planting and maintenance, like weeding, watering and fertilizing. He likes to pick out plants and offer his advice. We don't always agree. I think with gardening you got to have one person in charge with a plan.
Clare

Since I am single, I do it all or hire it to be done. When I was married, DS was a teen and Jim and I both worked full time. Each person did their own laundry. DH cleaned up the kitchen 3 nights a week and DS cleaned it 3 nights a week. I did it one night on the weekends and did it more thoroughly. DH liked doing yard work alone so I cleaned the inside with some help from DS and DH. I had made it very clear before we married that I was NOT going to be the maid. I cooked 6 nights a week and DH and I ate out one night on the weekends.

I know my husband would not know how to do laundry or dishes for that matter. When I was recovering from total knee surgery at our daughter's, she came over to check on things and the sinks were so full of dirty dishes, she loaded them up in laundry baskets and brought them to her house and ran them through the dishwasher. I now have a dishwasher thank goodness.

Sue

Whoever is available and able handles whatever needs to be done. There are a few things that one of us is better at than the other--I do all the cooking (he doesn't know a spatula from a spice rack). He does the electrical and appliance and car repair stuff--me, not so good at those things. He doesn't sew.

Otherwise, we do have chores we seem to prefer. He likes mowing the lawn, I like doing the gardening. He does the exterior painting, I do the inside painting, wallpapering, etc. I just spent most of today priming and paiting the ceiling in the bathroom, and started hanging the wallpaper. He'll probably come home and install the sconce lights we bought to replace the old, rusty ones. Sometimes we work together on projects--we spent Sunday pulling down the fence at the new house, working together at it.

None of it's really cut and dried, though--we both do a lot around the house.

Except for cooking...which I always do - we both just do what needs to be done when it needs doing.
Both of us being retired....we both have plenty of time.

I might start a load of wash, but he might hear the buzzer first, and go and load the dryer.

He might think it's time to vacuum the carpets...so he does it.

Wait...he does take the trash out every night.

I try not to do any of the outside jobs - otherwise they would become my jobs.

DH mows, does the trimming, cuts, splits and stacks the wood, he does take out the trash and also is in charge of cleaning the shower and vacuums the stairs. I do the rest of the inside cleaning plus I take care of any plants/bushes. I do all of the cooking and dish washing.

Thank you Linda! I got busted for being on the forum at work, because I laughed out loud over your post. LOL Then everyone wanted to know what was so funny. I loved your response! I will be back later to post about MY work.

Let's see. I think I pretty much take care of most of it. DH said he would mow the HUGE yard when we bought this house. He did...twice. I hired a landscaper. He does clean the pool...because he knows I won't touch it. However, I am getting ready to find a service. Once in a great while he "helps" me cook. I would much rather do it myself. I am a clean as I go person. And I make as little a mess as possible. I am about to put a sign by the toilet paper holder that says, "changing the toilet paper roll does NOT cause brain damage".

I told him one day, "you know...I am done feeling bad that you are out doing something by yourself and then helping you out. You don't seem to feel bad that I am doing all that I do". His answer? "OK"

Hmmmmpft!

We all chip in. I do most of the cooking. Emi and I do most of the laundry. Gary does most of the floor care (vacuum, sweep, and mop) and most of the dishes. I do dishes maybe 1/3 of the time and Emi does when she is asked. Gary and I both take garbage out. He does most of the heavy duty snow blowing in the winter, but I have to haul the blower out again and clear the end of the driveway where the snowplow piles it up nearly every morning before taking Emi to school. I take her to school and Gary picks her up after. Gary and I do most of the dog walking and other care. I actually think we have a pretty good split of duties. Only thing I wonder about is why do both of them expect ME to always think up what's for supper!!!! :-)

I do everything.

I live alone,therefore I "am"..lol

When I was married,and didn't live alone,I did everything;that is,up until the last couple years-he was "taught" well...NOW,he does most of it where he lives...looks good on him..like the kids' I taught him well.

I am a widow - I do it all - I don't enjoy doing everything alone - it was much more fun when my husband was alive, working and playing by my side. I am learning to do things I have never done before.

All of it

I do everything except cleaning the kids' rooms and they do their laundry. Everything else I do, even pick out dh's clothes for work everyday. I could ask them to help, but I like taking care of my family and my animals.

Are you kidding??!! I do it all! I'm married to a cuban man so that should say it all! Actually, he pays the bills and takes care of the yard. I have done yard work, too, but since having back surgery, I kissed that goodbye. The good thing, though, is that he's not demanding so he doesn't care if there's dinner or not, the house is clean or not, etc. I'm glad for this... I can let him live! I have a 13 yr. old dd who does clean her own room and helps with the laundry. She also helps clean... sometimes. It's just easier to do it myself than to keep begging for help.

If it's in the house, I do it. If there is a project, DH and I work together. But the routine stuff inside is all mine. I do all the laundry, cooking, dishes, bed making, mopping, cat litter, sorting, organizing, and shopping, even if it's DH's underwear. LOL. Outside, I never mow, but I do help with most other yard work. I deal with most kid stuff.

Since we have able bodied children in the house, we delegate. #1 always empties the dishwasher. #2 has taken over cleaning bathrooms (except in the master), and DD takes out trash and sweeps floors. They also mow and do yard work routinely in season. Actually, DH has delegated most of that to them, he supervised. ;o) #2 is also very good with the steam cleaner and likes doing that when it needs done.

When I was home most of the day most days, I didn't mind, it seemed my fair share. Now I am working a lot, and have way less free time, it's starting to get to me. Weekends are taken over by kids' activities. When we are home on weekends, I find myself doing chores while DH watches sports. I've had a lot of conversations with DH and the kids lately. It's not helping. Sore subject.

All of it, even when I was married.
Cleaning, cooking.

Now I use a cleaning service, when I desire.

I do most everything. At the moment we are in a "commuter marriage" situation so I'm definitely doing everything. I'm surprised how much less there is to do though when I'm here by myself. DH is kind of high maintenance I guess. When we are both living in the same place full time he does mow our tiny yard - about 3x per year - lot is mostly wooded. He also takes the garbage out for weekly pickup. We both do laundry and he is very good about being able to do his own laundry. He is capable of cooking but generally doesn't except for grilling - he is exceptionally good on the charcoal Weber. We both work full-time so I have a housecleaner. He has an apartment where he's working - he has no housecleaner but he is keeping his place clean. He doesn't do anything of that sort when he's home with me. He manages our social life and keeps life fun and interesting which I do really appreciate since I tend to focus on the more practical side of life. I guess we make a good team.

hi everyone! lmbo i play stupid because darn it i can do everything!

Dean goes to the grocery store to pick up items, or take out. He usually remembers to take the Garbage out on Garbage Day. Other than that....I'm janitorial, Gardner, cook,dog trainer/feeder/bather, children caller, birthday reminder, clothing shopper, medical mediator, Garage Cleaner Outter, hair cutter, beard trimmer, furniture mover, mail box checker, Income Tax Adviser, Secretary to Lawyer Man, Faxer, reminder, trouble shooter...there's more but, I digress.

I do it all, except on random occasions take the garbage down the drive on garbage day. BUT.. he works midnights, and pays the bills..oh.. and he loves me (the hardest job of all sometimes!)

My husband helps when he is home, but most of the time, I am here alone, so I do everything.

DH watches TV and "no one has stolen it yet". I do it all except yard work and pool maintenance which is done better done by a service. I also do bookkeeping for two of our businesses. When I get behind, which is not often, I hire a housekeeper rather than nag. He doesn't complain, flatters me -- what a liar, and appreciates everything except when I try to feed him a healthy meal. I would rather do things myself because it's easier to just do it than redo it later or try to find what happened to that project I was working on. I don't dare get sick and I don't, because I know we would starve, die of food poisoning or set the house on fire. He works out of town and I have lots of time to get everything done on my schedule so that when he's home I usually just feed us unless he takes us out to eat at least one day a week.

If I don't do it ...

... it don't get done!
_______________________________

Since when is "fair" not an operational word in many of your houses, women?

Growing kids need to learn to do chores - or are you going to be around to coddle them throughout their lives? They need to learn as they go the skills of running their lives.

Granted, most men die first ...

... but ...

... if you die/become disabled while that man's still alive ...

... how's he going to manage??

Good idea for him to learn how to feed/care for himself, now, while a skilled coach is available to help him hone his skills!

(And even advise him how, conceivably, he could do a more effective/easier job)??

Right?

Turn the TV off ... and tell the couch potato that some chores/exercise not only prolongs life ... it makes it more interesting and enjoyable in the meantime!

Good luck!

ole joyful

Oh, that will be the day he cooks for himself, his idea of fixing food for himself is a box of cereal and milk or opening that box of Little Debbies. All my kids, including my son that lives alone can cook, clean, and do all the housework. However, the girls husbands all know how to do the same work too and they can help out. I do not tell him what to do, no way does he listen. That is the way his Mother raised him I guess. I was not allowed to have a job when we got married. I was to stay at home I guess and do "women's" work. So for over 56 years that is what I have done.

Sue

Since my husband retired we share the housework. He vacuums, mops floors, does laundry and folds the clothes also puts them away. After dinner he puts everything away and does the dishes. He is very good at cooking meat on the grill and we do that very often. He will in general do anything I ask but he never sees things that need to be done and just does them himself.

He hates outdoor work so we have a very low maintenance yard and I have a yard service that takes care of that. Bobby does the trash detail twice a week and keeps his room clean.

So I guess I really have it pretty easy.

We don't have set jobs. I guess I do most of the cleaning, unless I ask DH he doesn't usually initiate it. We share the outside work, cutting the lawn etc. I make the gardening decisions and he digs the holes, fixes the fence etc. He does alot of cooking for himself since we don't agree on what to eat and he quite often does laundry, at least putting things into the machines. I usually end up folding and putting away the stuff. All in all it's pretty even in this household with me initiating most stuff and DH helping out.

I didn't think so many of you were like me... doing it all! Isn't it amazing how many men don't do squat?? I guess he does work hard and puts in very long hours, even after he gets home (sometimes he's on the phone to China from 8 p.m. until 1 a.m.). Work never seems to end for him. I guess I don't get it. I know it's a high pressure job and the responsibility is his to make sure things go smoothly for his employees in China but... it gets old fast! What can you do? I even feel guilty asking for help.

Me: All cleaning/tidying up/general housework indoors, all gardening outdoors

DH: Food shopping, lunch and dinner (he's an excellent cook), laundry. trash cans to curb, household finance (pay bills, manage $)

We each maintain our own cars and we have lawn cutting service

I do the laundry, dusting, bathrooms, sweeping/washing floors, tidying during the day, breakfast and lunch dishes, the cooking, paying bills....

Claude does the vacuuming, repairs, the evening dishes, shoveling in the winter, mowing in the summer, barbecuing, taking out the trash, weekend laundry if it's piled up, changing the cat litter....

We both do the grocery shopping together as well as yardwork, painting and other projects. When we shop for clothes and stuff, Claude keeps the kids with him in the store while I do the shopping.

There's nothing he's not willing to do, but there are some things that he just can't - like cooking.... Yikes.

LOL....this is funny.....sorta!
Anyway, my husband does nothing either..I have a restaurant and work 16-17 hr days, most times 7 days a week! He comes to the restaurant to eat, so even then someone takes his order and brings it to him and cleans up the mess...LOL! I really am not laffing cuz it does burn my butt! He never did a thing, never washed a dish, never changed a diaper, never mowed a lawn or shoveled snow. I even cut & split & stacked wood and carried it in when needed. And I always worked too! His favorite words were........I'll go over here out of your way(meaning, I'll lay on the couch and nap, try not to make too much noise) I guess I was sposed to be grateful.....*~* Looking back on my life I realize now I made huge mistakes and should have corrected them many years ago, and am not financially able to change anything at this time, and am wondering if it is just too late anyway! Maybe someday if my restaurant can actually afford to take care of itself, life might get better for me! My daughter married a man so much like her father, and I could see the same pattern, and often got very upset and discouraged.....but she is much smarter than her mother....she got out, did everything the right way, talked to her ex, went to counseling, and then she moved out! Her & her hubby are still good friends, they talk often and keep things normal for the kids as much as possible. For that I am thankful...much better for the kids!
Well, I guess I better stop......this is a sore subject and could go on for days..LOL

http://debfrompa.proboards.com/index.cgi?/

Well....I do the cooking; except when it is on the grill then he does it. I also clean the bathrooms. I take the clothes to the dry cleaners. He does the wash, the vacuuming (every day), he cleans the kitchen floor. I really don't do much except cook. Oh, I plant the flowers outside, but he does the lawn cutting. I am pretty lucky this way. We split the bills, I have an account, he has an account, but we both have access to each others if needed. I make my appts. he makes his. Pretty easy.

Lets see:

Dishes
dusting
vacuuming
moping
mowing
all yard work
hanging pictures
changing light bulbs
painting walls and all other surfaces

Oh, heck, everything that needs doing around a house and yard.

Husband, he earns the money we need to do all the above.

Moni

Lyndy, I sure like your arrangement, except about the bill paying. I only get a little bit of Social Security and that wouldn't go far. I don't have access to husband's account and he never gives me cash. I have a charge card but mostly any thing for me alone I pay for. I have a small checking account for my SS checks.

I have been dusting as much as I can this morning and will get back to it soon. I ran the Roomba in the dining room and it is charging. I hope to get it up and running again.
I may ride my mower out before it rains and look at the garden.

Sue

Sue...we both still work and he makes more than me so he pays more of the bills. He was single until he turned 40 and I was a single mom for 20 years so we are both still pretty independent, except I really do depend on him for a lot as we are getting older. He also takes both cars, gasses them up every week, so I never have to stop for gas.

My husband pays all of the bills. I only hear about them if they are too high. I don't have a car, don't drive so I don't have that to pay on. I am glad it has worked out so well for you both.

Sue

lyndy, my husband gassed up the car on week ends also. I really appreciated him doing that, it is a job I don't like to do. LOL

I do almost everything, around the house, including yardwork. DH is excellent when it comes to home repairs.

I do it all and it overwhelms me.

Just wanted to say, it's just wrong when women raise their boys to be so helpless around the house. And to me, worse still when women pamper their men too much. Just not healthy or fair for either partner.

Yes, I agree with you Granlan. My husband used to work so many hours 7 days a week that he was not really home enough to do much and now it is too late I am sure. I am glad all my children and their spouses can do the household chores.

Sue

My husband will do anything...I mean anything that I ask him to do....but the house is my responsibility...whether it be cooking, cleaning whatever....It would not occur to him to pick up a basket of clothes and take it to the bedroom unless I asked him, even if he had to step over it. For the same reason everyone else mentions...he just has never had to do it and wouldn't know where to start.

When I was ill, he pitched in and kept the place going and even provided me with a few simple meals....but it isn't something he enjoys.

Now with all that said, he has his on slate of things to do and believe me he does way more than his fair share. He handles all of the finances and money stuff and all the maintenance and the mowing and cars etc etc. He is burdened sometimes I think with all he does which includes taking me to and from lots of appointments and just keeping up with all my medical stuff including all the bills. I don't have a clue what I would do without him...He is my salvation.