It is difficult being a parent these days. I have a friend whose DD attends Boston U and is going to spend next year in Israel. She won't be 20 yet before she leaves for Israel. Her dad worries for her safety in Israel. I don't have any advice for you.

maybe this is the time to have a search done on the other gal..and i'd encourage them NOT to hitch but take advantage of the railway system...take the train and then do a hike around, back onto the train, etc...

go to the u.s. gov site and check if there are any hot spots right now to avoid. see below

other precautions are hidden money container under her clothes the ENTIRE time, up-grade her shots. cell phone up-grade...and call in times to mom and dad...and when in doubt, don't!

Here is a link that might be useful: http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Travel/International.shtml

My sons both did back pack tours in college mostly with a friend. They kept in regular contact via the computers at various cafes. Be sure she brings a good medicine / first aid kit including anti diarrhea medicines. Keep her cash and passport on her person at all times. My older son stored his passport in the hostle's safe as is suggested, and when he went to get it the next morning, they had given his passport to someone else, supposedly, and it was lost. He spent an entire day at the American embassy applying for a replacement.

Give her instructions on flu signs in case it has spread and to get to the doctor if she has any signs of it.

I would not allow it I don't care how old she is, she would have to move out if she went. It is not a matter of how mature or sensible she is, there are predictors everywhere. She needs a couple more women in the group. I have traveled a lot and it is not safe to travel alone, even two women. Men are not as vulnerable as women and some places are not even safe for men.

I don't disagree with Stargazzer. My DDs then roommate was the guest of her girlfriend on a European trip her friend won. They went to Turkey and Slavic countries in that area of the world. Someone slipped a date rape drug into her drink in one bar. They were watching their drinks, so it was clearly the bartender who did it.

Luckily she knew something was happening to her, and her friend walked and then dragged her back to her hotel room. The next day, some of the guys that had been there kept asking her how she felt that night. Apparently, they were in on it. She was lucky her friend had not also been drugged.

I think it would be a great adventure she will never forget. I would feel a little uncomfortable about her going with someone she didn't know, though. Hopefully, they will be meeting in a public place.

When I was younger I drove all over Germany and some of France all alone and sometimes with barely enough money and gas to get back home. Not too bright sometimes, but it was the best time of my life. I didn't drink or go to bars, though, and was very careful.

I'm taking my kids, a friend from work and one of my son's friends this summer and can't wait! We're only taking backpacks and staying in a variety of mostly cheap hotels, B & Bs and youth hostels. Some people would never think of doing this or doing what your daughter is doing. I'm assuming she's done research on where she wants to go and has a fairly good idea of which places to avoid? I think she will have a blast. My dad and one brother are freaked out about our trip, though, and I'm almost 47!

There are too many people in Europe now who have absolutely no respect for women see if you can't talk her out of it.

She's 23. She's smart enough to realize she shouldn't be completely on her own. While it's true there are bad people everywhere, there are also good ones everywhere. Europe is not a wild, uncivilized, lawless place! Millions of tourists young and old go there every year. Certainly a few have problems, but some do here as well.

I agree that a little background on the woman she's meeting would be a great idea.

I would also suggest that you consider helping a friend of hers finance the trip so she could have a buddy along. Not a gift, but a loan with a generous payback timeframe. That way you'll know she has someone with her she can depend on and the experience will be even richer for her because she'll have someone she'll always be able to share it with.
If none of her friends can do it, how about a cousin?

I don't think Europe is wild or uncivilized, but there are lots of people who prey on tourists there and two women will be more vulnerable than a group. My sister, her daughter and grand daughter back packed and stayed in hostels. Their things weren't even safe in the inns. Later one of them set her backpack down to take a photo and it was gone when she looked down. She had no clothes, not even a tooth brush and some her money was gone. I have traveled a lot, but with groups and we are warned not to wear t-shirts with American logos on them, no fanny packs and and other things that mark you as Americans, because you will be targeted.

Wanted to add, in one place we were told not to carry a purse, to hide our money in a small purse that could hang inside our shirt. I always wear a money belt with most of my money and passport in it. I really think it's a bad idea, won't say anything more about this except to say I can't forget that poor girl in Aruba out of my mind who thought she knew what she was doing.

I rode my bicycle across the USA. The same interesting suggestions were made to me.

There was only two times I felt uncomfortable and I rode on. I hope, she has a GREAT time. Personally, I felt awesome when I was done. I feel, like I can do ANYTHING now.

Please, don't worry to much. Give her the tools to stay in contact.

No news in our family is always, no news! If something happens, we take all chances to get info out, and manage it.

The gal has spunk.

Moni

Both my husband and I have been to many places in Europe and by far, I was completely comfortable walking everywhere and backpacking through it all. However, if I was younger going alone with another girl that I Didn't Know, and no one else, I wouldn't do it. I don't know her and neither do you. Craigs List is Not Safe anymore. Hello, "Craig's List Killer" anyone?!?!? It's not the same out there for just us women, we are "vulnerable" prey to others that are looking for an easy target. I would suggest that they not go or bring an older "chaperone/traveler" they would enjoy having along. Has anyone heard of what's going on in JAPAN?!? The bar tenders and various "bad guys" working with bartenders are slipping drugs in the women's drinks, stealing passports and money and most of the time raping or worse!! This is JAPAN!! I have been there and I met a gracious respectful country of people, so this is an unheard of thing, yet it's getting worse! My recommendation to the girls are to never go out drinking at night while on this trip, while it might be fun, it's not worth the risk. I know this is Europe, but it's better to be safe then sorry.

While on vacation with us, my father's wallet was pick pocketed by two young Gypsy women. How do we know who did it, I saw them do it with my own two eyes, yet it happened so fast. One young girl rammed into my Dad with her little baby, then fled the subway car. When I finally thought to do something, the doors shut and we took off. I was and still am so upset that I didn't do anything! Yet it was all in 2 seconds time!
I'm not picking on Gypsies here, but yet another time we were in Switzerland and we were approached by two women and children who asked us if we would GIVE our daughter's stroller to them. We said no, as it was ours and our daughter was only 7 months old and there was no way I was going to be able to hold her for the rest of the trip. When we said no, they became hostile, threatening and beligerant about giving it to them. We hustled out of there as fast and as safe as we could thinking their men must be near by to take care of us. I was actually scared that they were hiding somewhere. It kinda tainted the trip somewhat, that day, thinking I was pretty unsafe and vulnerable in a country I didn't know.

I have said allot, probably rambling, but I truly don't think this is a good idea. I am all for taking an adventurous trip before life passes us by, but more precautions need to be taken before this trip goes forward, like:

Calling home at a certain time everyday.
Always carrying cell phones at all times.
Both girls should never leave each others sides.
If in doubt, don't do it.
Get another traveler or two, maybe even a guy/Dad, if at all possible.
Don't go out drinking at night. Ever. And if you choose to, at the first sign of trouble, leave.

I know I sound like an over protective nanny/mom, but you can't trust ANYONE anymore. I am 29 years old and my husband and I have been to 13 different countries so we have had to figure this out on our own. Please take heed, if you don't feel right about this, sit down with your daughter and make some compromises, like having another traveler or two that your daughter knows. She doesn't know this girl like she thinks, anyone can be anyone on the internet. I'd rethink this if I were you and her. I wouldn't let my daughter at all. It sounds like fun now, but again, you don't know where they are going or who she is "really" with....

Off my soapbox, Amanda (Homemade)

Homemadecountrylife said:
"Has anyone heard of what's going on in JAPAN?!? The bar tenders and various "bad guys" working with bartenders are slipping drugs in the women's drinks, stealing passports and money and most of the time raping or worse!!"

This makes it sound like every bar is unsafe, which is far from the case. This has happened in an area called Roppongi, which is known to have a seedy side to its nightlife and has now gotten seedier, but still represents a very small part of Tokyo.

Okay, I do have one bit of advice. If YOU do not have your passport, go out and get it RIGHT NOW! If something did happen to your daughter, illness, etc, you would want to be at her side and if you do not have your passport you will be held up from going immediately!
My DD went to France with my sister (who still thinks and acts like a teenager sometimes) when DD was in college. Yes, I worried, even tho she was with family. Yes, they did the rail pass thing and loved it.
In fact, for her honeymoon, her and DSIL went to Europe and rode the rails.
This could be a wonderful experience for your DD. Unfortunately, you will worry the whole time she is gone.
Hugs, Kathy G in MI

I think its a great opportunity - however, I also vote for some sort of background check on the 'partner' Remind her that even when meeting a blind date, you do it in a neutral place and have some sort of references...... Maybe do some checking on various sites for safety tips... and try to hook up with a few more people... If she's a 'facebook' or 'myspace'... ask friends for some tips & see if there's anyone also going....

I know what you are saying Chispa, but have you ever been to Japan? I have never met a more respectful and nice country of people, other then Thailand (my husband's home country). My point was, even if it's a nice place, like Japan, you never know what could happen. You have to be careful and can't take chances like you would in America. I am not a fan of going bar hopping in a different country, because when you want to go back to your hotel, in a different country/place, you are much more likely to get disoriented and lost. Then you could wind up in a rough section of the town/city where you are vacationing. The thing is, you've never been there before, so you wouldn't know where NOT to go. You don't know the country, so you won't know where the "seedy places" are. Please DON'T assume the "locals" will tell you or help you figure it out. I think as a whole, many people are too blithe about dangers when they travel, myself included. We have to be aware and more careful when we are out of the country. When my husband and I have been backpacking, we've tried to make ourselves look as un-American as we could, because we stand out to pick pocketers on the streets, so why wouldn't we stand out in a bar as well? So we were very careful and never went out at night.

But again, meeting this Craigslist person is not a good idea. I too, don't trust anyone out there anymore. My Mom just mentioned to me 4 days ago about a Craigslist killing in Minnesota. It was a young woman needing a job and read about a Nanny position on Craigslist. She went to go for the interview/meet the family, but it turns out it was just a sick guy who raped and killed her. Her first instinct should have been to take a friend or family member with her, and turn around when she got to her destination, because it was a run down apartment building on the "wrong side of town". How could someone afford a Nanny on that side of town, let alone maybe have room for a Nanny? My question is where is our instincts? When we feel like something is wrong or unsafe, then Don't Do IT!! This is my point, that sometimes we are too focused on having a good time, on our vacations, to make sure that we are also being safe too.

I completely agree with KathyG_in_MI. She has a very valid point, get your own passport ready, just in case!! I believe it's good for 10 years, anyway :) It took 8 months to get my passport. I thought it was unusually long, but my husband was thinking it would take around 4 -6 months so he wasn't too surprised that it took a while. So start the process now, even if plans fall through for your daughter, you never know when you need it.

I know I sound like a "Doom & Gloom" vacationer, but I am absolutely not, but neither am I unaware of my surroundings now. I have had to learn the hard way, I am just trying to pass the info along to help anyone else, who might not have to learn like I/we did.

~ Amanda (Homemade)

I understand that you are nervous, it is a natural thing, but I can't imagine that you can talk your DD out of taking this adventure, certainly not without her resenting it. I have travelled across Europe many times, I lived in Germany and Austria for almost 2 years. While it is far away, I found that it is not that different than the US. In the tourist cities and even remote places there is always someone to be found that speaks English, and if not it is fun to get by with hand gestures too.

You can upgrade her cell phone to get international service, but be aware that it still has limited service in many areas. Internet access is everywhere, and she can even "call" you with Skype or many other services like it. The key thing is to be cautious, and definately have her invest in a money belt to keep her passport and money safe. Also, using a credit card for purchases often can give you the best exchange rate, so she can carry less cash. I hope that she has a wonderful time, and she will certainly have memories that will last a lifetime.

do you or your dh work with any co's that are overseas? i told my dd that in a pinch, she could call any office that was affilated with dh's and get help..

I want to thank all of you for your input. Sue, you are absoutely correct, there is no way that I can talk her out of going. I only wish that I could. Unfortunately my husbands company does not have any divisions in Europe, only China.
All of the advice give to me here was extremely helpfull; things that I had never even thought of -- perhaps things that my daughter had not thought of either. I think that if she were only going to be gone for maybe a month, I might -- might -- feel somewhat better (probably not).

I printed out this post last night so that my husband could read it, and left it on my dresser. My daughter noticed it this mornning and was about to pick it up, when I grabbed it and told her what it was about. I said that I wanted her to read it, however I knew that it would just piss her off. Told her I would let her read it a little bit later (preferably when I wasn't around). She does have "spunk" and is very opinionated.
Once again, I can't thank all of you enough. At least now I have something concrete to go on.

My brain is ready to IMPLODE. After reading all of your comments, she said, "so"?!!! I asked her if she was at least going to keep her passport and money hidden around her waist at all times. "Hell No". I said, well then where are you going to keep them? She replied, "In my purse". OMG, you have not seen her purse. It is HUGE and top doesn't close!!!! -- and SHE JUST DOES NOT CARE!!!

If If could hire a privte detective or bodyguard to follow her around Europe for 3 months I would. As for me - I will be found at closest mental health hospital, being heavily sedated daily. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhhh, I feel for you, sarahbellum! I have 3 dd's and sometimes they can be so stubborn and stupid, and it seems like the more I push, the harder they push back. You can only hope that you dd's friends will give her advice such as you see here-- that, she will probably listen to! My oldest is trying to find a program where she can go overseas for a year to do volunteer work, but hopefully she'll end up in the country where we have some relatives, and friends of friends and relatives. Start asking your friends to see if you can find any contacts in the countries in which she'll be travelling so that if she needs a friendly (and safe!) person to go to, there might be a name or two for her. My feeling is that Europe is safer to backpack around in than the U.S., provided she stays out of the seedier areas. Maybe you can get some travel books (Rick Steves' are great!) that you can leave lying around that she may pick up? Good luck and hang in there! Remember, chances are very good that she will be just fine.

Then give her a Pacsafe handbag as a travel gift. I've got one for travelling. The one I have is huge, has lots of internal zippable pockets, the main zip has a clip so it can't be unzipped without you feeling it being unclipped, the strap and bottom are reinforced with steel mesh so they can't be cut with a knife by pickpockets. The strap on mine can also be unclipped, wound around a table leg or whatever, and reclipped so it can't be casually picked up and walked away with. There's also a few handy outside pockets so you can keep things like safety pins, medications, sweets etc, accessible without opening the main section.

Here is a link that might be useful: Pacsafe travel products

I too would worry the whole time she is gone. One of my daughters spent a summer in Europe when she was in her early twenties, a journey she has never forgotten and where she gained experiences that will last forever. She could not understand my concern for her safety (I can take care of myself, Mom!!) I finally realized she was as much at risk going to any large American city alone, and that I could not keep her from her life adventures and experiences without doing damage to our relationship. Now that her daughter is going off to college in the fall, I smile quietly to myself as she worries about her child being out in the big world. LOL
Susan

I'm sure she is going to be more careful than she is letting on to you, because of your resistance. Backpacking in Europe is probably safer than doing it in the US. People do it ALL the time, and live to tell about it.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but there is nothing you can do to stop her, and to be honest, good for her for going to see the world while she is young and has the chance. There aren't that many opportunities in life to do something like this. You have to take small risks sometimes in life, otherwise, what a boring life it could be.