I've not been in your specific shoes, but I've been in situations where the anger has eaten away at my soul.

All that did was allow someone to further antagonize me WITH my permission and they didn't even know. Only one it was hurting was me.

Hard as it is, the best thing you can do is pick up yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.

Good luck!!!

Thank you pudgeder, I'm trying so very hard, right now a lot of my days I feel hopeless, but still trying to move forward.

Sounds a lot like what happened in my divorce - lost everything but the lint in my clothes, all because my husband lied, along with his soon-to-be wife. I was so glad to be rid of the creep, after 13 years of constant cheating, that material 'things' didn't mean anything - I was blessed that all I got the lint - he got the debts!

Greetings ... and thank you for coming here to share your frustration and anger. To deal with it ... helps.

Please find a way to deal with your anger ... even if only splitting wood in the back yard.

In earlier generations, when Dad started splitting wood ... or Mom went to town exceedingly energetically with the dust mop ... we kids figured that it was a good time to keep our heads below ground ... to make ourselves scarce for a while.

Why let someone(s) who did you dirt in the past ... continue to keep you (at least partailly) mired in muck?

If you continue to carry it, it'll fester, and the only one that it hurts is you.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life - I hope that you can spend some time thinking about how you can manage to use that life as creatively and productively as possible.

Good wishes to you as you embark on this new portion of your voyage of life.

ole joyful

actually never say it's over..there is always something that can be adjusted...however you do have to consider time and money..

if i were you i would complain to the bar assn about both the judge and atty of record...

Everyone, thank you for your responses.. In all honesty I feel blessed believe it or not ..I considered complaining but I don't have the financial means to do anything right now but feed myself..praying and fighting hard to stay positive everyday.

Well first, I hope your health improves. And yes, you're in a really bad place at the time. But be strong, girl!! The best revenge would be to be happy with your new life. Look at Moni's posts. She wasn't always happy with her circumstances but look at her now!! You can do it, too.

I don't know if you've posted at the KT before, but I hope you'll join us. If nothing else, we are an intersting bunch! And we listen well. Chin up, my dear!!

Hard as it is, the best thing you can do is pick up yourself up, dust yourself off and move forward.

pudgeder, thank you for posting that.

Has nothing to do with a divorce, but I needed to read that.

Thank you!

One thing for sure....you are not alone. DD (living with DH and me,77years young) is in same boat. DS has just been "kicked to the curb" (and living in their garage) by his DW of 28 years...again same situation. I am asking myself...what'd we do wrong to have our kids be treated so badly by people we trusted and cared about? WE really did care for those 'out-laws' who have lied and cheated our children as well as us.

Yes, living well in the future is the best 'revenge' and moving forward etc. etc. is the best plan. Just hard.

DD has found a very active over 55 singles group (not a mating/romance group) and is out hiking the hills around us today...her day off from searching for a job! And, after 3 years of part-time/low wages, it does look promising that a job is on the horizion. Best of luck to you.

Plant.... oh i could tell you some horror stories, all true, of the maniac i lived with for 12+ years. It was a hard, scary time, and I too had a lousy lawyer and judge.

My hard earned advice to you, if you want it...... just move on. Consider yourself lucky to have gotten away from all that...... and just try to make the best life for yourself that you can. Living well truly IS the best revenge!!
I won't say it will be easy, and you did not mention children with this man, only HIS son. If you have no children together, put as much distance between you as possible.
And start today, being good to yourself. You don't mention abuse (however there are all kinds, not just physical). Divorce is a huge stress factor, on the mind as well as the body, so you need to give yourself time to recover from that.
I don't know how old you are, and if my experiences of many years ago would be of any help to you, but if you need a shoulder, feel free to email me.

Everyone, thank you for your words of encouragement ..patti43, yes I have posted here before but it's been about a year and I love coming here to talk to this wonderful bunch of people, and yes I'm keeping my chin up ( both of them) lol..jennava, I'm 51 and gave him the best years of my life..he's74 and thinks he's40, he's got 4 boys that he doesn't have a good relation ship with..I've never met anyone his age that was so disrespectful..there was mental abuse during the whole marriage..after we were married he didn't want to leave the home he shared with his first wife and i wasnt allowed to change anything in the house at all..he kept her picture hung on the wall right outside the bedroom door and we constantly argued about that, his response was" where is that jealousy coming from..when we got to the 7 th year I took the picture down and we had a major argument about it he tells me my boys want to see their mothers picture, can u believe that..I told him make them copies, ..onward and upward..his girlfriend can have that toad who perpetrated as a prince.. Trying to sell everything at his house because I need the money more than the stuff.