I remember having one dinner date with a blind date. We ate at a Mexican restaurant. He took his fork and stirred together into one big mess the entire contents of his platter. He then planted his arms on the table to surround his plate and proceeded to eat. Charming.

Back in the eighth grade we had to make dinner for our family for classwork. We had to plan the menu, cook everything, set the table, yada yada - do the whole nine yards. Our teacher came by our house prior to dinner to see what we had planned and ask questions about the meal. Everything up to that point was fine....after the teacher left, I got distracted and poured a whole plate of spaghetti and sauce off the plate and onto the chair and floor as I was *trying* to serve it.

Any date with really bad table manners would turn me off real quick.

What you have mentioned are not "faux pas" but gross bad manners! A faux pas is an error because you didn't know any better....something like using the butter knife to cut your meat....or picking up the creamed soup in the handled bowl and drinking it.
One of the ones I remember was years ago...we asked friends to stop over for a casual dinner after a ball game. They asked what can we bring...I said nothing...them..OH Please!! Me...no...really we'll just grill some pork chops and have a baked potato and bread and a salad.
Well they said...we'll bring the wine....and they brought cream sherry....put it on the table and poured it into the glasses.....and we drank it with dinner....and smiled!!
That's a faux pas!
Linda C

Or the time I was having a nice wedding shower to-do at my home...My own younger sister insisted she bring a topping for my cheesecake. If I do say so myself, the table setting looked stunning...until she set the topping still in the tupperware front and center. I left it...cuz, I love her.
It took everything I had to leave it sitting though.
Holiday dinners were usually at our place, because I love to present and prepare those meals for family and friends. The same sister wanted to do it at her place one year and asked for my help. When I arrived the table was set...with her everyday dishes, thin paper napkins, forks only, salt & pepper. Totally non festive. She does have all the goodies to make the table look great, but hey she says "It's just family".
Gotta love em.

I'm not terribly germaphobic, but I do get disgusted when an certain in-law of mine uses his pocketknife at the table for food. These are usually casual situations where there are no sharp knives out and he decides to share an apple or something with one of the kids. It is never more than 5 paces to a knifeblock--it could be in his own kitchen. Ew.

Then there were the couple who had a few bites of a rather decadent jambalaya and suggested it had a tad too much rice in it. Or the sister's boyfriend who made himself a ham sandwich while my mother was putting the finishing touches on the buffet.

And don't get me started on the things that *I* do!

Prom night, 1965: Sixteen and seventeen year-olds all dressed to the nines, in a fancy restaurant before the dance, one girl orders, of all things, fried chicken. After the meal, waiter brings girl a finger bowl with lemons floating in it. He asks the diners, "Would you care for dessert?" The fried-chicken-eater's date said, "I'll have one of those, please."

BarnMom, no but I didn't do it.... lol

Rita

Don't get me started on the nose blowing. That is a major, major peeve of mine. You can park your elbows IN your plate if you want and I won't say anything, but the nose blowing at the table makes me turn green.

Wow, I can think of lots of instances of poor manners or accidents, but no major faux pas. (What is the plural of that, anyway?) I guess because I try to not notice innocent mistakes so as not to make the person feel badly.

The nose blowing at the table is a big one for me. I can't stand it and when someone does it in a restaurant, I can't help but turn around and glare at them. Hey it makes me feel better. I give good glare too.

I also can't stand to hear someone eating. The lip smacking.

Actually any body noises at the dinner table make me cringe.

I had our neighbors little boy over for dinner one night and that kid (age 10) sat there and burped like a grown man throughout the entire dinner. Of course this made my own son giggle with delight to hear such a wonderous burp come from such a skinny boy and his giggles fueled the neighbor boy's gas problem and he continued to do it.

I kept telling him that we do not try to burp like that at the dinner table and to please try to burp quietly and if you can't burp quietly to leave the table and then return when you are finished burping. well he kept it up. it was like he had no control and was used to just letting it rip whenever he felt the urge. Me thinks he and his daddy must have nightly contests at the dinner table on who can burp the loudest and the longest and who can say words while burping. He did all that. I finally told him he would not be allowed to eat dinner wiht us anymore if he continued to burp.

Well by then, he was finished gulping down his food and slurping his drink, he got up, took his plate off the table and put it in the sink!!!!!!!!!!!!

What GREAT Manners! He took his plate off the table and didnt need to be told to! I was so proud of him. Then I heard... " *errrrrrp* " as he walked out of the kitchen.

I guess this doesn't count as a faux pas, either.

My mom's silver chest accomodates service for 12 but she only has service for 11. One evening my mother had a dinner guest that ate her entire meal with her purse on her lap. When the meal was done this guest swept her silverware setting into her purse. My mother never said a word. She was probably too horrified.

I probably would have commited an actual faux pas along the lines of "did you just put my silverware in your PURSE?!"

Nina

Nina! OMG! That's one of the most awful things I've heard. Was she a friend or family member? I'm guessing I would have been too horrified to say anything at the time, but would have stopped the person at the door before leaving.

When I was about 8 or 9 my parents took me to a nice restaurant for my birthday. When the waiter came around with the dessert tray, I was thinking "heck yeah!" and grabbed a plate of cheesecake right off the display tray, not realizing it was a display and he would bring me a proper plate after ordering. No one said anything, but I'll never forget my mother's face! Or the waiter's. Whoops.

A faux pas is excusable. Bad manners, less so.

At my MIL's table, she hands out cutlery holding the eating part with her fingers and pushing the handle towards you. Yuck. She's also a plate scraper and stacker at the table. Nothing ruins a meal for me more that watching everyone's leftover scraps loaded together onto a plate.

AM
The Dinner Chronicles

When we were young and budgets were tight, we would get together with 2 other couples for Mexican, Italian or Chinese food once a month on Saturday nights.

To celebrate our first anniversary, one of the couples suggested dressing up and going to a "nicer" restaurant. It sounded like fun until we got the menus that had no prices...gulp!

I about died when it was time to order wine and one of the husbands (not mine!) looked up from the list and said to the steward,totally serious with no hint of irony, "Yes, I think we'll go with a bottle of Half-A-Carafe."

Thirty years later my husband and I still can't look at a wine list without commenting and chuckling over that.

Nina I think you need to look on ebay and find your mother the missing silverware.
I remember onc New Year's Day, as we were cleaning up after a huge party we had the night before and there was a knock on the door....and one of the guests was there with a silver spoon! He has but it in hes shirt pocket while going around the buffet table and took it home....and since he knew I probably would be counting the silver before I put it away...he brough it back before breakfast!
I think the biggest faux pas I ever made was inviting a divorced couple and their present spouses to the same party....3 of the people didn't think a thing of it but one woman was cowering in a corner lest she encounter her husband's ex!
Linda C

I'm thinking about that missing place setting of silverware...I happen to think that your mom did the right thing. I'll bet she was thinking about how much that woman needed the extra cash she would get for a set of silver! Anyone desperate enough to swipe the silver off a hostesses table must be darn hungry. I mean, really, the woman was a guest, was served, I'm sure, a truly fine meal, and then stole?! Must have been really hungry.

Actually the stories I told were indeed faux pas, I really think that they didn't know better. My old friend for all her "airs" surely had no idea she was being rude. I said nothing about her attire at my party, which was hosted by my ex's senior law partner. The blind date came from a dismal background, itinerant crop pickers who abandoned him and his sister when he was 10. He can be excused but I'd rather not dine with him again!

My faux pas was like Linda, invited the WRONG folks to the same table. In my defense, I didn't know these folks, they were attorneys and spouses from the law firm. One couple were young fundamentalist Christians, the other couple were older (than me) former hippies with tales of drug use and wild times in Europe. Can we say awkward.

I suspect that the silver thief perhaps had a bit of a mental problem. I'm not sure what the proper response would be, but if she had a family member there, I would have mentioned it to them just out of concern. (And hey--I might have gotten it back!)

My grandmother got a little batty before developing Alzheimer's and something like that would have been not too unexpected. She did in fact start keeping her purse clutched to her everywhere before other symptoms showed up.

This is not a faux pas, but then again, maybe it is. I went on a date with a guy from "back home". We went to a nice restaurant on the strip. We both ordered steak. We didn't really have a lot in common...nothing at all actually. I was in the middle of my meal and he looks over and says rather loudly, "ya ain't gonna eat the rest of that hunk of meat, are ya?" as he reaches across the table with his fork and grabs my steak. It drips all the way across the table on the nice linens and people were staring. Then he helped himself to the rest of my meal. We were supposed to go to a show after dinner, however, I was really nauseous with a sudden "migraine".

I am also another one that doesn't care to see/hear someone blow their nose in an eating environment. When it happens, I am done eating.

When we were kids, we were taught strict manners. Most of which I still use...some, have been thrown to the side...at least at home.

Most of the things mentioned here, would drive me absolutely, positively up the wall.

I thought Faux Pas was going against accepted behavior. I have
no problem telling people who are ignorant, how I feel.

If someone in a restaurant; at another table, blows their nose.
Then I might do the same, only louder, while looking at him.
If someone takes 4 servings, at the dinner table and doesn't leave enough,
for the rest of the folks, I will let him know there are
only six pieces left and
nine more people have to eat too.
And ask him " What do we do now ??? Shall I go in the kitchen for cereal "

Guess I'm Faux Pas myself. Or maybe I like to fight fire with fire.

Lou said that. Why do I say things like that ???

You folks bring out the worser in me.

Hey, Lou - you can come have dinner at my house anytime - LOL!

In my family - after the friend or family member committed the alleged faux pas, that person would immediately be called out by someone "hey, Johnny where d ya learn how to cut your food?"..."your mamma" "your mamma" "your mamma", maybe some more yo mamma's and then we would all laugh so our friend/family member would be red with embarrassment and then we would make sure to bring it up every holiday thereafter for the next 50 years.

Maybe we're just rude New Yawkers! The dinnertable is not too serious a place in my home.

Okay, it wouldn't go exactly like that but the part about bringing it up for the next 50 years is totally true:)

No one has mentioned using the cell phone at the table during the meal! How rude is that?

Dody

Don't get me started on the cell phones! I've just started carrying one. (Still hate them, but just try to find a pay phone to call a cab these days!) I was at a service in a church the other night and suddenly realized I had forgotten to turn the dang thing off. It's the kind that makes a noise WHILE you're turning it off, and there was no way I could sneak out and turn it off. No, it didn't go off, but I was panicking that it would. So the cell phone at dinner (whether at my table or another) is up there with blowing the nose.

This isn't so much a faux pas as it is a regional difference, I think. When I was growing up, our family and my friends' families ate the salad first, then then entre. DH's family has the salad after dinner. Thing is, if it's "just family" they have the salad in a bowl on the table with the other food and you serve yourself. I got some very strange looks the first few times I ate with them.

Some of these stories are just amazing!
As a waitress, I have seen some faux pas (eating with the wrong silverware, etc.) but nothing like what is listed here.
Over here, it is acceptable to blow your nose at the table. So, if you are traveling here, don't forget that and glare at someone who does it. LOL
I have a thing about hearing people eat. I can't stand smacking sounds.
Lisa

Regarding wiping your mouth on 150 year old linen napkins , which might be a faux pas to some people, I read recently that you should only dab the corners of your mouth delicately with such a napkin; I have a friend who sets the table with nice linen napkins but also folds a pretty paper napkin under the ustensils, and instructs people to wipe their mouth on the paper one, and to leave the cloth one on their lap, would that be considered a faux pas?, as far as giving instructions at the dinner table.

DH & I were in Las Vegas a long time ago...maybe, about 25 years. We had tickets to the dinner show of Seigfried & Roy at the Mirage.

Drinks were served, the lights went down, salad course came next followed by a lull. Then the entre arrived. We were enjoying the show & eating our dinner when IT happened. As many know, tables are packed pretty tight in the Vegas show rooms. A *gentleman* at the table immediately to my right reached over towards our table, grabbed the corner of our tablecloth, bent over, & blew his nose! OMG, I was horrified. DH & I just sat there for a couple minutes staring, not knowing quite what to do. We'd stopped eating having completly lost our appetites. After a couple minutes, DH signaled for our waiter. When the waiter arrived at our table...DH motioned for him to come closer & DH whispered in his ear what had happened. The waiter was visibly shaken. He glanced over at the large wet spot on our tablecloth & sorta gulped back a gag. He immediately motioned for us to get up & follow him out of the dining room. When we got out into the casino lobby the three of us just started laughing... The waiter took us over to the front desk. The clerk offered to phone our hotel (Stardust) & make arrangements for a free night's lodging & give us front row tickets to the next evening's show of Seigfried & Roy. When DH told the desk that we wouldn't be there another night because our long weekend was over...they gave us $500 in chips at the Mirage. So, yes...I've got problems when I hear somebody sneeze in a restaurant. I immediately look around to make sure nobody's going to grab our tablecloth! DH tells this story much better than I do but you get the picture...

I never did get to see a complete show of Siegfried & Roy but what I did see was fabulous!

/tricia

Sigh's silverware thief reminded me of a story, not a dinner table story, however, a friend has a vacation home by the ocean that they rent. They rented it (at a substantial discount) to the Pastor of their church and his family. After they were gone the house was a big mess and a picture from the wall in the living room was missing and no cleaning lady had been there yet so it wasn't her.

Lisa, we have friends and relatives who come to visit from Scandanavia and we have also been there to visit and I know that acceptable table manners are quite different over there!

Tricia! OMG! That takes the cake!

Tricia! I just can't! And how the effects of the nose blowing linger to this day. I'd never be able to look at a tablecloth again the same way.

Vickilvnv- you reminded me of a particular Hell date. One that became the foundation of my "always trust your first impression" rules. A guy picked me up for our first (and only) date. He asked if I wanted to get something to eat & I said sure. He asked what I had eaten for lunch & I said that I had just had some rice & steamed broccoli. His response: "boy, I hope that doesn't mean you're going to fart all night". Be still my heart.

The silverware thief- it could have been any number of reasons, but dinner itself was the result of an engagement and the first time that the future mother in law (not mine!) had been invited to the house & had met my mother. So bizarre on a number of levels.

My mother reminds me of the time that she had my first grade teacher over to dinner & I was on my best behaviour until I wiped my mouth on the tablecloth. Granted, I was 6. Maybe I was trying to spare the antique linen napkins?

Lou, you can come to dinner at my house any time!

Nina

I can't offhand think of any dinner table faux pas that I've seen lately. Although I remember one funny story that was told years ago by close friends of my family. They had invited the husband's adult batchelor brother for Christmas turkey dinner and their table had been beautifully set with silver and linen. The cranberry sauce was in a small glass dish at one side of the brother. After joining in the toasts to each other with a glass of wine, the brother reached for the cranberry sauce.....thinking it was his starter, and ate the whole bowl without realizing that it was a garnish meant to be passed around the table. LOL.

Not a faux pas, but someone smoking at the dinner table really spoils my meal. And I'm an ex-smoker who now can't abide the smell, even when it's on the other side of the room, as in a restaurant. There are still some restaurants here that allow smoking indoors.

Also not a faux pas, but more of a personal habit... a friend of ours refuses to pick up any food with his fingers and will sit at a table eating a sandwich with knife and fork. He does the same with ribs.

SharonCb

I understand the linen napkin thing..I have bunches...but what do you do when your mouth or hands needs wiping?
In restaurants, I alawys get a napkin for my lap and a napkin for my mouth and hands. I hate setting an even barely dirty napkin in my lap. I want only clean napkins protecting my clothes.
One tiny buttery crumb can leave a grease spot on a silk skirt.

Sharon, your cranberry story reminded of a dinner party we gave in about 1990-1991. The bank my DH worked for was owned by a British conglomerate. The Executive Vice-President from London was in town. We invited him & 5 other bank officers to dinner at our home.

His name was Doyle...anyway, I felt that with Doyle's position he probably had more sophistication in his pinky finger than I had in my entire body so I was nervous about the dinner. I planned a lavish multi-course meal, dragged out all of the best china, crystal, sterling, & antique linens.

Everything went well through the appetizers, fish course, consome, & salad. Our son was dressed in his best suit serving. I'd prepared smallish portions because of all of the courses. Anyway, our son brought out the lemon-ice refresher course, did a little bow as he backed out of the dining room very sophisticated-like. Then, Doyle grabbed his spoon & dug into the less than 1/4 cup serving-size of his lemon-ice with great gusto! He was finished in about a nano-second. After wiping his mouth he looked at me & said, "Tricia, this has been the best meal I've ever had. Thank you so very much for providing this wonderful & elegant dinner." With that, he pushed back his chair & got up. I looked at DH. DH stared back at me. The other people at the table looked at us. We ALL looked at Doyle. It was clear. He thought the meal was over & that the refresher was dessert. I had prime rib waiting in the kitchen & a chocolate/raspberry tart for dessert. BUT, this was the Executive Vice-President of a large international bank & DH's boss. So, I sighed...also got up from the table, excused myself, & headed to the kitchen where I told our son, Jim, to hide the rest of the meal QUICKLY!

DH followed my lead & also got up from the table directing traffic into the library where I served coffee. Later, DH drove Doyle to his hotel. While DH was gone, I fixed everybody prime rib sandwiches & a slice of the tart in doggie bags & we all had a good laugh! Better doggie bags than embarrass the boss...ahem.

Just goes to show that one never knows nor should necessarily expect dinner guests to behave as expected!

Tricia

I have a little story. Maybe not a Faux Pas.

When I was a young man ( the Dinasaurs were still roaming )
My SIL had a date with a nice; but very shy, young guy.
( I heard this story later, that evening, from my SIL )
He wanted to do everything just right. He brought her flowers.
To make a first time, very good impression.
They went to out to Dinner in a nice Restaurant with music.
Every thing was going good. Her date had to go to the men's room.
When he returned she noticed that his shirt tail was sticking out of his pants.
Not wanting to embarrass him ,she excused herself to go to the Ladies Room.
She wasn't as shy as her date, so she told the waiter to inform him,
that his zipper was down. As she was returning to the table she saw her date quickly zipper up.
As she approached the table, he jumped up to move her chair out and
pulled all the dishes off the table, with the table cloth ,
that was caught in his zipper.
To top it off they couldn't free the table cloth.
He had to carry it into the back room and cut it off with a scissors.
Needless to say he was so embarrased, he never dated her again.
My SIL still gets a fit of laughing, when she thinks about it.
LOU

Oh Lou! That's the funniest, sweetest bad date story ever!

Lou, how can any of us top that?

I must be fortunate in my guests - or maybe I'm just very tolerant. I don't remember anything in the way of faux pas. There was one incident that made me feel uncomfortable. As a newlywed, I invited one of my fraternity brothers and his wife over - my first time to host a grown-up dinner. Knowing that they were Mormon, I planned on not having wine or cocktails with dinner.

They arrived and he presented me and my husband with a bottle of wine (guess for his first grown-up dinner he thought he should bring something and flowers didn't occur to him). I'm not sure why but it made me feel really awkward.

Barnmom: A few years later, after he got out of the Army,
He wasn't bashful anymore.
Cloud Swift ( that sounds like an Indian name )
Did he drink any of the wine???

Someone must have a good story !!!
Lou

Ok, Lou. you win with that one! LOL!

Lou, he did have a glass.

My Hebrew name means "bird" which I think is rather ambigous - I'm certainly not a stork and I wouldn't want to be a chicken or a vulture.

I bore that in mind when chose a Chinese name because when going there on business trips I found there is no way to render my English name phonetically accurately in Chinese characters and I got tired of having my name mispronounced. I figured if they can give me business cards with names that have no relationship with their Chinese names like "Mike" or "John" (to make things easier for us or so that they don't have to hear us mangle their names), then I might as well choose a Chinese name I liked. Some kind of bird so that it related to my Hebrew name but more specific. Swifts are one of my favorites because I like to watch their darting flight and they are a useful bird gobbling up insects.

The Chinese name I chose translates roughly as Rain Swift. I also like that the characters for it contain the roots of fire and water. Since there is a bird in California called a Cloud Swift, I decided to use that as my screen name.

I'm sure I've committed faux pas over in China since eating style and manners are quite different - but no one has pointed them out to me. I try to watch and learn.

Cloud Swift: A pure White Dove goes with clouds.
Then there is the Bluebird of Happiness.
Remember that song ??? Jan Pierce.
That was the theme song for the Dawn Patrol ( Radio )
LOU

Well, how about this? Every time I go out to eat with my best friend, she puts part of her food on my plate. She is a very picky eater, but doesn't want to waste food, so she says. Something must be wrong with me, I just sit there like a dummy and let her do it.

I do that to my spouse, Flowergirl, but he doesn't mind. It's the only way he ever gets mushrooms.

I guess it's kinda gross...I try not to let others see what I'm doing, though!

My much younger little sister used to dissect all of her food before she ate it in a restaurant. She would completely disassemble a sandwich, a salad, anything with parts and then eat the bits she wanted. Major production. I didn't mind in a diner or fast food place but I told her she'd better restrain herself when I took her out for a meal in a very nice San Francisco establishment.

Yeh, dh and I do that all the time.. he gets the mushrooms and I get the cucumbers....but we also eat off of each others plate. Seriously, get over it. Just walking into the restaurant caused more germs than you care to think about enter your body. Either way, germs build up your immune system.

A Client once told me a story about one of his business trips to China which cracked me up.
There seemed to be much drinking which he wasn't used to, subsequently he would excuse himself quite a bit to use the restroom. He had many trips over the years before one of the Chinese business men finally informed him that while he thought he was saying "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom" he was instead saying "Excuse me, I need to use your Shithouse"!
Excuse the naughty language...that's the story.

bumblebeez:
You and DH should eat with us! We order two different things on purpose so we can swap part of it.
Think Filet Mignon and Portabella Steak.
Swap half for half and you've got Steak and Mushrooms! :+)

Yes, I have manners, I only use them when I have to though.
We are pretty casual and enjoy eating instead of worrying about "stuff". If I'm unsure, I'll wait for the hosts lead.

Deanna

ooh,ooh, I almost forgot this one...

An evening at a nicer restaurant with a bunch of friends and one of the guys brings a "newish" out of town girlfriend. We were all going skiing the next day, so her sister had put her skis on a greyhound bus to be picked up that evening. Suddenly there was some kind of bruha ha about her wanting our buddy to go to the station right then to get the skis. I guess she didn't like what he had to say because the next thing I see is a butter knife flying across the table right at him! A flipping butter knife!
He calmly gets up and leaves the table with her on his heels screeching like a banshee. Saying "If those skis aren't there than you will buy me new ones"! Oh my. I think she just blew it with her new sugar daddy.
She didn't ski with us that day...nor the next or next....
Spoiled brat.
Over the years and thru the grapevine her good looks and youth did run out...and the stories to go with? Well, suffice to say, I for one enjoyed every rotten one. And there were many.

How funny Deanna! We are the same way...manners are for when they need to be used! Dh has learned that I know my way around menus a lot better than he does and frequently he wants to order the same thing I get! This is from trial and error. Sometimes, though, he lets me help him pick out his entre so it will be different but just as good.

Did you Lovely Ladies ever stop to think, that all the other people,
In the restaurant, are saying the same thing, Watch your manners,
don't do that , or don't do this . I don't want to be embarrished !!!
Did anyone see me do that ???
Let's face it, everyone will do something wrong, once in a while.
Live and let live. Drink another glass of wine, then throw the glass
into the fireplace ,Hola !!!
Lou

DH and I often taste from each other's plates, and we have very a couple of close friends who will offer a slice from their dish or we will offer them a portion of ours. In fact we oftem make a point of not ordering the same dishes so we can do this. But we try to be discreet and sanitary about what we're doing. I think there is a big difference between quickly, quietly moving something to another plate and dragging it across the tablecloth or eating off people's forks.

I must admit, though -- being "busty", I never EVER eat spaghtti in public. I will always end up wearing it, no matter how careful I try to be.

If you think blowing your nose in a a restaurant is bad, I had lunch with a girl who had a cold with a VERY runny nose & kept ignoring the situation. Finally, when it was at the point of dripping in her lap, she asked if I minded that she wipe it! Trust me when I say that blowing is preferable.

This thread is fantastic! My husband and I are thoroughly enjoying these hilarious stories. Thank you!

I think these posts would make a great book. I certainly can't begin to top any of these stories. Some are hilarious.

Mimsic: I think we must be related. What you described is how I grew up. Probably one incident I won't forget is the day my daughter prepared a meal for all her new inlaws and we were also invited. She set the table beautifully for everyone and when they sat down, instead of politely passing food (clockwise, I might add) they all stood up and grabbed for a dish, served themselves and put the dish back down. I will never forget the look of dismay on my dear, darling daughter's face. She couldn't believe it and neither could I.

I do like to serve food hot, so when I call people to the table, the food is hot and ready to eat. My stepdaughter, husband and 7 children were here this summer from another state. When we all sat down to dinner and I was bringing in the last dish, they began singing which continued for what seemed like 10 to 20 minutes, never taking a pause so I could stop them. My point is that when you are a guest in someone's home, they usually direct how things will go at the table.

I have another stepdaughter who came from a long distance for a weekend with hubby and 3 children. This was right after DH and I were married. We were at work when she arrived. I had a dinner planned to make when I arrived home, but when I arrived, she had all our pots out and had made some dinner with her own food for the family. there were dirty dishes and pots all over the kitchen. That was a surprise. Another time, they picnicked on our front lawn waiting for us to come home. They had a blanket spread and their food and ate and had a great time in front of all our neighbors.

I say these things as my being appalled at basic manners being totally absent. My parents were simple folks but had good manners and there were simply things you didn't do.

Oh Well. Love the people inspite of their differences.