I think you could use the registry as a guideline, it might give you an inkling of what they like, the style. I think it defeats the purpose of their registry if you have to contact them to remove an item that you'll buy somewhere else.

I've loved using the registries the last 5 years, never a problem.

The couples enjoy the surprise of seeing what they get on the registry website and how the gift list is progressing.

Donna,

I guess one way to both (1) see what you buy, and (2) update the registry, is to find out what is on their registry, look at the items elsewhere since Target and Linens 'N Things aren't nearby, and then buy them off the registry. Would this work?

Best Regards.

My nephew was recently married in another state and we couldn't attend the wedding. I looked online to see what they'd registered for. Looked for it locally to see if it was something we wanted to give. It was, so I went ahead and ordered it from the store they'd registered at. Their local store either delivered it to them free of charge or they picked it up (I can't remember which), but I saved a lot of money by not having to have it packed and shipped.
When I have baby shower or new baby gifts to buy (like now), I never look at their registries; I just go online to Amazon and order books for the new baby. Hardback books like "Goodnight Moon", "Where the Wild Things Are", "When I Was Young In The Mountains", "Pat The Bunny", etc. last for years and are usually cherished and get passed down. Those are my favorite kind of gifts to give!

Mostly I don't buy from the registry, I just LOOK to see what they're wanting and sometimes upgrade it, depending. Some couples have no clue what good cookware is, and others think they have invited Bill Gates so I try to land somewhere in between . ;)

With our children, I can tell you that gift cards were always appreciated and are really the easiest thing. That said, if you want the couple to remember your gift always (after 30 + years married, I think of my aunt with great love each time I use the glass bowl she gave me) try to pick something that will last...towels and sheets (though always needed) wear out.

Susan

You could call the store and explain that you bought the item elsewhere. I bet they'd take it off the registry for you. You'd probably have better luck with LNT than Target.

Susan, I know what you mean about inviting Bill Gates. One of the things on the registry was a $1300 TV. YIPES! I also like the idea of getting them something that will last. While I do still have a few towel sets left (mostly as rags) from our wedding presents of almost-30 years ago, I have a set of mixing bowls that I just couldn't get rid of when we upgraded the kitchen last summer. My now-late aunt gave them to me as a shower or wedding present. They're Pyrex and don't match my dishes, but I can't get rid of them because I use them all the time, and yes, I think of her too.

DonnaR/CA

regarding the high priced items; those are sometimes bought by a group of people office or family, so it's not necessarily because the couple expects such an expensive gift or are greedy.

I mention this because my whole family attended a wedding this fall, out of town; there were 6 of us in my family attending, 5 adults and one child, and we were hosted with numerous dinners/brunches on top of the wedding day celebrations and dinner. 2 hotel nights of our trip were paid by the groom's parents.
I gave them the 999$ superautomatic coffee machine on behalf of all of us, they were thrilled. It was still on the registry 5 days before the wedding.
(I'm always last minute with the registries)

I'm not Bill Gates, lol, but the gift reflected for me the kind of hospitality we were shown, plus the fact that we are very close to the family.

First, check to see if the stores they've registered at are in your area. Then, you can still buy off the registry and see the item in person too, if that is important to you.

You really cannot remove something from the registry unless you buy it from the store and have the registry tagged. So, if you absolutely positively had to have the beautiful brown towels from Macys instead of the brown towels they chose from Linens N things, you could buy the LNT towels, have them deleted from registry, return them, without mentioning gift registry. Now, they appear to be purchased. Then, you wrap and mail the Macys brown towels. A lot of trouble and if the couple eventually decide to change bath colors to celedon and cream, they may not have a Macy's nearby to return. But it's your choice.

For many many years, people bought gifts where they wished, wrapped and mailed them. If I got something in the wrong color or didn't love the giver's style, I just used it anyway or put it in a garage sale. You can still do what you want as to a gift. If you buy Macy's brown towels, perhaps your friends will adore them and keep those, returning the LNT towels to the store for credit so they can buy one more set of flatware.

Red