meeting my biological son for the first time.
Everett_OR
22 years ago
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sheilajoyce_gw
22 years agoRelated Discussions
My son started his first job.
Comments (14)Kudos to all our sons as they evolve into wonderful men. Terri, your son has a case of shyness, mine too. Yes, he needs to go in or follow up with a phone call so they can see the handsome wholesome fellow in person. If his name is difficult to decipher maybe he can include a pronunciation guide parenthetically. My maiden name wasn't hard but everyone got it wrong. Meinhart (mine-heart) Something like that, maybe. Sharon I SO wanted to take a photo of my handsome son in his "fancy" clothes, as he puts it. I decided it might be over the top after the fingernail inspection and gum extraction. ;) Thankfully neither of my children are inclined to piercings or tattoos. Daniel loathes pain. Alice begged for months for a navel piercing. I finally relented after 6 months. It still gives me the willies! I wrote a tongue-in-cheek essay about the experience. Advanced Parenting My 15 year old daughter has been pestering me for months to let her get her navel pierced. When it first came up my response was cautionary: I Googled infected pierced navel images to share. "Come here, Alice, look at this gooey one!" "Ew!" I thought it might be a passing notion and best to wait a while and see if she was still hot for a bellybutton ring in a few months. Her best friend, Kaitlyn wants one, too. My thought was that this was a good best friend tandem activity. But her mom is firmly opposed. I called the other mom to discuss letting the girls go together. Nope. Odd, because her older daughter has a pierced nostril. I'm still scratching my head at that double standard. Every few days the subject comes up. "Mom, can I get my bellybutton pierced?" "Sure, honey, when Kaitlyn's mom says she can..." "Mom!" In truth, I'm not all that bothered by the navel ring thing. I'm far more opposed to facial piercing. I'm not concerned about what other people do but I believe my daughter's face is perfection just the way it is. I knew eventually she would wear me down. I wanted her to be certain of the decision. It happened yesterday. We went for a walk together and passed the downtown tattoo/smoke/body piercing joint which was surprisingly open on Sunday. With mock hope she pointed out the store, "Look, Mom, they're open! I can get my bellybutton pierced!" To her astonishment I said, "Okay, go in and see what it costs." My stunned child jumped on the opportunity and in we went. The cost was within reach of the cash in my pocket. The clerk/piercing dude thought we were doing it together. Uh, no. My wobbly post natal navel shall remain intact. Ouchie. I remarked that a search party would have to be sent to recover it first. Thirty bucks, a wince, and a few drops of blood later my kid admired her bejeweled umbilicus in the full length mirror. "Oh, it's so pretty!" As I reflected later on this odd mother-daughter bonding moment I realized that after a fashion we paid homage to our connection. This bit of midriff sparkle adorns the point at which we were once joined. Aw, gee....See MoreMy son went to his first formal dance.
Comments (13)He had a great time. He and another boy went with two girl pals. Not really "dates." I am hoping to someday see photos of his companion at the dance....See MoreMeeting boyfriend's son...who speaks a different language to me!
Comments (5)Relax, the little one will pick up on your nerves and not really know why the pretty lady he's meeting today and having a good outing with is so 'afraid'and he may take it to mean it's something he's done or said or that you don't like him. I've seen a group of little ones come together all speaking bits and parts or no mutual langauge of the others present and they brush it aside and play all day together having great fun. They understand the basics: laughter, smiles, a willingness to be friends. I myself have had to visit with and entertain in my home and on sight seeing outings both teens and adults, and we've all been very understanding and leaned on the one present who can repeat for us what is said. As long as all were comfortable and had a desire to be warm and friendly and relaxed, a convo and/or a pleasant story/joke just takes a bit longer to share, but is still enjoyable/interesting. The main thing I had to watch myself from doing as I came to know and communicate with was not to slip into slang and to stick to basics of meaning with words. Where my langauge has words that can be flipped around and exchanged for other words, the person I was speaking with could then not follow me in this manner. In your case, you might try an ice breaker with the little boy, ask his dad to help you pick out a storybook that you could present to the boy as a welcome gift. Or some favorite candy or along those lines. Something that speaks without words that you are very honored to be meeting him and very willing to get to know him even though there is a bit of a hurdle to cross. Dad might read the book to you and the child if you choose a book. And study up on the basic language, carry the little booklet in your pocket that assist, a desire to learn and accept I think I have found to be my key to language differences. Good luck to you, hope you all have a great day....See MoreMeeting his 10 yr old son for the first time
Comments (5)cdngirl: I just read back through canine's post "BF has child, I have none-help with nerves" and saw your message: > My BF is amazing, and I told him thatI didn't want to meet his son unless he was "ring-on-the-finger" serious. That was only 6 weeks ago, but then we are in our late 30's and both about to finalize divorces, so if he's sure..I know I am... Er...please don't be offended, but this sounds rather ill-advised. Both the not-meeting-the-kid, and the deciding-to-get-married-after-6-weeks. The thing is, this may sound kind of old fashioned but when you marry somebody, you're marrying their situation and you're marrying their whole family. Including the problems. Especially the problems. > this could be the big "test" though...what do you think? I think that's a contender for understatement of the year. The younger the kid is when a step parent waltzes on to the scene, the easier it is for the step. At 3 or 4, the kid's still young enough to be easily disciplined, and I've read that even up to age 5 or so children often bond very well with the step. At 1 or 2, the kid will probably see no diff between the step and the real parent -- depending on the specifics of the situation of course. My 3 year old SS was a cakewalk -- my 9 year old SD and 13 year old SS on the other hand were not cakewalks. My advice to you: * do background research on the web about the sorts of behaviors that you can expect from kids post-divorce, and entering into a step situation. * ask your SO what sorts of things his kid is interested in, and do research into that -- not necessarily to cram fun down his throat, but to have points of reference -- and to find out if his personality is drastically different than yours. If you think it doesn't matter, check out mom-2-4's posts. * Ask your SO ALL about his SS, particularly if he has any wacky kinds of personality traits -- gird your loins. Before somebody jumps down my throat, either my partner failed to mention it, or she did and I just plain forgot when I met her, but my SD tends to lie. Quite a lot. I can understand it, knowing the family situation she's in with her BD, but I wasn't aware of it when we met, which lead to...situations. * even with the 3 above points, try to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, because kids are perceptive and kids are smart. They just lack vocab, and social embarrasment/guilt. * DON'T GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY. Kids in a step or divorce situation are on a slow timescale. I would personally give it 2 years of constant contact, before you really know where you stand, but don't do anything for at least 6 months. My advice, anyway. As far as what do 10 year olds like to do -- try Warhammer, D&D, playing catch (baseball & frisbee), amusement parks, miniature golf, having books recommended to them (Henry Reed, My Side of the Mountain, House with the Clock in its Walls, 3 Investigators), watching cartoons, watching shoot-em-up sci fi (best of all -- Aliens 2), playing video games, riding bikes, going hiking. Or at least, that's what *I* liked at 10....See Morebulldinkie
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