DD dropped a pizza face down on the floor (without benefit of Saran, of course) right after taking it out of the oven last Friday...I wasn't here, and she's 12, so I hope the exclamations were clean! :-D

Oh dear I say bad words when I'm happy. But you should hear me when I'm upset. hahaha!

Good thing you had saran wrap on them.

One night I breaded pork cutlets with flour/panko, fried them up til they were just so cute and in carrying the plate of fried cutlets back inside, I lost my grip and the whole plate of them fell on the patio; where the dog and cat roam freely. UGH..... I couldn't eat them but my husband and son didnt' care.

Anyway, hope your windows were closed. haha!

Yup! I sure do. Choice ones.

Sure have. Made a HUGE bowl of macaronni salad to take to an event and put it in the freezer to start cooling faster. Went to take it out and the outside of the bowl had become quite "slick" and out of my hands it went and smashed all over my kitchen floor. Talk about a mess and a mess that came out of my mouth.

Ran back up to the store and started all over again. UGH!

DH and I were leaving the house for Thanksgiving dinner at daughters. He went to the fridge to get the cheesecake which was still in the bundt pan. He lifted it from the side of the pan and his fingers pushed the bottom out and it went upside down splat on the floor. It took at least 10 seconds for one long row of swear words to come out of his mouth. I would not dare repeat any of them.

I'm famous for it, dropping things and then c/@#I)^$##$. A few years ago I dropped a six pack of Coca Cola in my utility room and one can hit something and started spewing. It went all over that room, floor to ceiling. I cleaned and cleaned and about once a week I would see a spot I missed.

Not to long ago I dropped a plastic ketchup bottle and broke the plastic bottle. Ketchup can fly alot of places also.

Without fail, every Sunday morning I make pancakes. And also without fail, at least one of them refuses to flip properly, landing all folded up. The resulting exchange is always the same too.

me: "S***!"
DW (from the living room): "Just mash it down with the spatula. It'll be fine.

And it is always fine.

I just made some/alot of summer orzo salad for a crew going to Galveston to clean up our beach house from hurricane IKE. I came so close to dropping one of those flimsey foil containers...so I put all of the orzo salad in ziplock bags then laid the ziplocks in the foil containers to get it ready for transport.

I still have to make 3 dozen cookies in the morning to transport to Galveston. I hope I don't drop any...I guess I'll mop the floor in the morning before baking cookies because I always drop and say bad words!

Ummmm, I said a the "s" word and maybe another one, not sure.

And, yes, linda I did hear you!!!

River...I'm glad you still HAVE a beach house....
Many around here are still trying to get back into their houses after the June Floods....and lots of volunteers are aiding, so that as many as possible can have a warm place to be before winters ets in.
Yeah....speaking of dirty words.....floods and hurricanes make a couple of dropped loaves of bread look pretty inconsequental.
Linda C

I heard you too. Did you hear me when I dropped the raw eggs last week? The words kept comng and the sailors were proud of me.

Linda, you may have heard this story from me before.

Quite a few years ago we were living in New Orleans in a small cottage type house. The rather small kitchen had open shelving under the counter for the pots and pans. It was after dinner and we were cleaning up. The cabinets were all open. I had a large pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove, went to carry it to the counter and the handle gave way. It hit the floor flat and sauce exploded everywhere. There wasn't a surface in that kitchen that didn't have sauce. Even the stacks of plates and cups in the open cupboards had sauce on edges of each one. The ceilings were low, and had plenty of sauce. The pots and pans under the counter... covered. We were so shocked we didn't even swear. Now that was shocked, lol. It took hours and hours to clean that mess up. We considered moving. I do a little swearing now just thinking about it and that was 25 yrs ago.

Linda, several years ago I made a cherry pie that I was placing in the oven. My hand must have dropped a little, because the lip of the pie pan hit the oven rack and the whole thing flipped upside down in a very hot oven. My kids would have been younger then, so I don't know that I said anything out loud, but I'm sure I thought it. Talk about a mess!

Judi

The air was blue in the kitchen of a friend when the freshly baked and still sort of soft batch of shortbread I was removing from the oven slid on the parchment and broke apart. Tasty but homely.

I should know better than to drink wine AND bake.

Yep...several years back at Thanksgiving I thought I would be smart and use one of those aluminum pans to bake the turkey in....WELL...taking it out of the oven if folded right in half and the turkey was on the floor...Thank goodness only my husband was around. @!%#@!@#$@#$^$.....LOL
Linda

I swore at work a few months ago. Everybody just stopped and stared. One gal remarked that she had never heard me swear. LOL! I was unaware I had such a clean mouth. Good thing they can't hear what I'm thinking.

: )
lyra

A month or so ago, I made some BBQed chicken quarters. It was trouble from the beginning. I had foolishly purchased one of those big bags of chicken quarters. They were sold refrigerated, but I knew I wasn't going use them any time soon. When I got them home, I threw the entire bag in the freezer just as it was. When I went to use them, much to my "surprise" they were all stuck together in a big frozen blob. I should have thawed them in a dishpan of cold water, but I didn't feel like waiting. So, I got the "smart" idea to throw the whole bag in the microwave to defrost just enough to pull them apart. It was hard to cram that whole bag in the microwave! I got it in and somehow managed to get the door shut, the turntable didn't turn, but I didn't care. I started defrosting for a little bit, but it was cooking parts of the chicken, but not defrosting it. So, I took the whole blob over to the kithen sink and ran hot water on it just to get it the pieces separated. All this to say... it was a lot of work before I even STARTED cooking it! So, to have it end in disaster was that much worse! I finally made the chicken and had a piece of it. It was wonderful! Then I went to put the 3 or 4 leftover pieces away. My plastics were all full or dirty, so I put the chicken on a plate and wrapped it in foil... that's how my entire family always wrapped their leftovers.... I'd never done it until that day. I must have spun around too fast when I tuned to grab the 'fridge door handle because the chicken pieces all landed on the kitchen floor and I still had the plate and foil in my hand. I didn't even think to take the skin off (that's the best part anyway, what's the point of eating it w/o the skin) and try to salvage the rest. I was really looking forward to having the chicken for dinner that night and lunch the next day. Sadly, it all went in the garbage. When it happened, I just stood there frozen in shock for several seconds before I could even begin the clean up process. Then I used a the s, f, h, and d words!

I also had a red accident. I had just made a big bowl full of cherry jello. I put it in the refrigerator to cool. As soon as I did, I realized I needed to get something else. I yanked the door open and the entire bowl flipped over. Since I had just made it, it was still in the liquid stage... It spattered on the clean dishes in the dish drainer, all over the cupboards and oven door, on my feet and ankles (it was hot too), and under the refrigerator. It wasn't a lot of work to make, but the clean up was awful!

Lyra, I also shocked people who thought I was clean once! I was out to dinner with a (gay) church group. They often joked and said things that I didn't think should be said by "church people"... As a self-proclaimed prude, I was usually pretty quiet around them. Well, the oppotunity presented itself or me to insert my wicked humor, and I threw up a snide inuendo. Everyone at the table roared in laughter, including the minister! I was sitting across from the music director and he said, "My gracious Bobby. I'm proud of you. I've never heard you say anything 'like that' before. I didn't think you had it in you!"

I never swear and never have. I wasn't even aware of swear words until I was in the fifth grade. Since I never heard them, I never used them. My boss uses them quite a bit, and I don't admire her any more for that. I was taught that it is vulgar and crass to swear, and that is my view to this day. However, if you are alone and there is no one to hear you, then no harm is done. For me, however, it is just not part of my vocabulary. It doesn't upset me to hear it, but it also does not impress me either.

If I have an accident in the kitchen, I take it in stride - "spilled milk" and all that. I might scream or screech if something goes awry, but never swear. Unless you burn the kitchen down, there's really nothing to get that upset about - and I keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Because I don't swear (or possibly so), there are people who like to get me riled up, including my niece. I find this ultimately very irritating and useless, as there are many other more appropriate ways of amusing oneself. It is rather easy to get me riled up, however.

Lars

I don't (usually) swear either. I have to be pretty angry.

But when something shocking happens, I take a huge, loud breath in....and hold it.

Happened Saturday morning. DD and SIL were there for brunch, I was just putting all the food on the table. Last thing was a small plate/dish with cooked pork sausage in it that had been kept warm in the oven (hot dish, using pot holder...).
As I went to place it on the table, I bumped my arm on a chair back and the whole thing flipped, scattering meat and grease all over the table, plates, runner, chair and carpet.

Deep breath. Freeze. Everyone in the room stares.

5 seconds later (felt like 5 minutes). All returns to normal and everyone jumps in to help clean up.
Thank God they're family!!! LOL

Deanna

Lars, Grandma would be proud of you. I can still hear her saying to my brother "Don't ever try to kiss me with THAT mouth". She also told me that the only people who cursed were those who couldn't think of something really nasty to say.

That said, I'm guilty. Ashley used to lecture me not to say that "sh" word. However, when I drop something or spill something, I seldom swear. Like Deanna, I'll catch my breath, but seldom actually say anything. I normally curse when I'm so angry I'm beyond rational thought and can't compose myself enough to "say something really nasty". LOL

Annie

My mother could make a stevedore blush. I'm a bit more restrained.

I have been informed that I swear entirely too much, so I've tried to curb my expletives with innocuous sayings instead. So last night, when I managed to drop the loaf of bread I was about to put in the oven into the chicken stock I had just put in the sink and the hot stock splashed all over me and the kitchen and the floor and the bread turned to instant deflated mush, my best girl KNEW I was upset when I peeled off with "GOD BLESS AMERICA, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!"

augie