Just wanted to say you have a beautiful yard and that I know how you feel. I'm going through the same thing right now. This family moved in about 3 years ago to the house on my garden side. The house is very small and has only two bedrooms, but they have 7 kids. Their backyard is a mess and they have weeds growing up near my garden fence so I'm trying to spray weed killer through the fence so it doesn't grow into my yard. Last year the dad got them a basketball goal and for some reason they decided to put it right in front of my fence. I came home one day and half of my Butterfly Bush was all smashed and broken. I realized they had thrown their basketball into my garden. I was so upset. My husband went and talked to them but nothing changed until this summer they finally moved it. Also they have friends over by the dozen all the time. Unfortunately we have no fence in our front yard and they park their cars in a row right on the edge of our line. Their yard looks like a car lot and they have a broken down piece of junk van there also. They drive their cars through our grass to get in and out. We have complained to them several times about this but they just don't care. We try to park our cars in a way where they cannot drive through our yard but we are not always home. I want to put up a fence there but my husband says it's too expensive. Then I saw I want to plant some of those trees that stay green all year (cannot remember the name) as a way to block the view but husband says no. I'm tempted to do it anyway, but I am afraid they will just knock them over with their cars on purpose. I am growing vines and bushes along our backyard fence to block them out. I need to post pics so you can see what I mean. I keep hoping they will move out but they are buying the house not renting.

You asked for advice, so I am going to tell you that your responses to your neighbor have been aggressive and provocative. Your reactions to the neighbor have added to the conflict. Your goal should instead be to give neutral or calming responses. Snookums2 gave you examples of these. Nan-E-Fan gave you away of thinking of the situation that protects you from thinking that by changing your responses to this family you are "wimping out" or acting like you are weak. By keeping calm and responding to exactly what is said, you keep control of the situation. The woman says, "my husband says he saw you letting your dog pee on our lawn." You say, "I don't let my dog pee on the individual lawns, he only goes on the common area." If the neighbor does not know where the common area is, this gives them the opportunity to ask, "where is this common area?" If the neighbor, instead, insists that you do let your dog pee on her lawn, you ask her to take a picture of it. If she says that she has no camera, remind them of their cell phones or tell her to get a cheep disposable. Or offer to pay half for a disposable. This shows that you are concerned for their issue (you don't really have to be concerned, but acting like you are keeps the peace). By remaining calm, you keep the power in the relationship. If they start getting accusatory toward you, or start complaining to the townhouse management, you can calmly say, "I told them that I only use the common area and asked them to photograph the dog using their lawn as a toilet. I even offered to share the cost of a disposable camera. They never did anything to prove it was my dog, they just continue to harass me every time they see me outside." Or if you can remain calm when they harass you, then YOU can go to management and complain about their treatment of you. It takes practice to remain calm and to learn to respond only to the words people are saying to you. What you have been doing is responding to the emotion behind what the neighbor is saying and making assumptions about what she is staying. Your assumption has been, "This family has something against me and my family." By having this assumption in the background, based on your first few interactions with this family, you have been working from an assumption that you are at war because this other family has decided you are. Nothing could go right after this assumption was made. That is why I suggest that you concentrate only on the words that are said. It keeps you focused on your goal of remaining calm and responding to the situation and the concerns that the person is bringing up. It is too late for you to make this relationship start out right, but you can work on calming it down. That will give you practice for future relationships with other people. I had to do this when I found myself getting all upset talking with insurance companies and the like on the phone. After one set of phone calls when I got mad and frustrated and yelled at the person on the other end of the phone, my eyesight went all wonky. It was like looking through a kaleidoscope that was turning. I thought I was going blind! Through the little bits of clearness, I waited through my dial-up internet and slow page loads and figured out that I was having an ocular migraine. I did not need to go to the ER, but I should see an ophthalmologist soon. So I called my eye doc and they got me in the next day. What is one cause of an ocular migraine? Stress. What else does stress do? Cause high blood pressure and other heart disease, contribute toward diabetes and other diseases. Gotta lower stress!

Sounds totally normal to me! By the way, my mom still has Rinnie's collar and dog tags. Rinnie was her dog as a child and Mom is in her mid-60's. One time I asked her what we were supposed to do with such things when she died. She said that she didn't care but she was keeping them until then, lol. When I got back to my Granny's house after my Granddaddy's funeral, I immediately changed into overalls- his daily wear when he could get away with it (complete with bare feet, lol) and went out to pick the okra he had planted in the front yard. When Granny arrived she was "slightly mortified" but I knew Granddaddy would have had a fit that "the boys (his sons)" had not picked the okra yet. I am not much on decorum, lol.

As I get older I find I drop glasses at the fridge water fill up thingy - poor tiles are cracked - good thing the tile guy left a few extra tiles for replacement purposes. We had beautiful white laminate that lasted 12 years before we got tired of the total white sterile look and not many broken dishs - just a few chips. We just put granite tops in and they look great! Do you think maybe we should go to BPA free plastic glasses or what? You guys are so funny! It is kinda scary after a few glasses of good wine setting them down on the granite with the big clunk sound - should I stop drinking wine now or get rid of the granite? Another new granite problem - my cat will not stay off the countertops - she loves them! Do you think it is the cool slick feeling or is she radon intoxicated? I wonder how short her life expectancy will be? I may shorten it myself if she doesn't stay off them! This thread is cracking me up...