Moni, I know you are too smart for this, but a woman I know "met" a guy on line. She told me he was working in Malaysia and making (get this!) $900,000 a year!! He said he was originally from Virginia. Fed her a line of bull...had her out looking at very expensive houses to buy...since they were going to get married. So far she has sent him $5,000 of her own money and received and forwarded to him several more thousand. I have tried to tell her he is a Nigerian scam artist, and he can't get in trouble for laundering money, but she can. She is 69 and her husband died about 2 years ago. I can't believe she is falling for this.

Marilyn I know. But I also know a good friend that hooked up and got lucky, with someone she met on E-Harmony. My ex got married to a woman he met on match.com

Not only am I not looking online, I am also not looking in real life. If I meet someone, someplace, and we hit it off, who knows... but I am NOT looking. :)

Moni

If I were looking to date (I'm not) , I'd ask my female friends if they knew anyone nice and hint around that I'm "available". I would never date a total stranger or anyone I met online.

Moni, I have always found the best shoes, purses and sales when I am not looking;) So if a man is in your future that is how he will come into your life , when you are not looking and he will be the real deal;)

Our younger son met girl on Match.com, they've been together two years, and she's so good for him! We love her.

Just don't wait too long. It's downright terrifying if you wait as long as I have. Just the idea of going out with someone makes me want to throw up.

I've gotten all those spam e-mails...along with one for black and Asian people.

Kath, how do you justify "to long"? I feel, as long as I feel good solo.... just keep going. :)

Honestly, dating scares the carp out of me. Last time I did that, was 1971! Thus, I feel like it is already to long. :)

Moni

Moni, I've waited too long and I regret NOT getting "out there". It's lonely and lonelier as I age, knowing I don't have someone with me in the elder years.

Have couple acquaintance who met their beloveds on Christian.com.

Go for it. Just don't wait too long as you get adjusted to the situation. You'll regret it.

My opinion only.

Marilyn,

A couple of years after my stepfather passed away, my mother had one of those scam Nigerians try to "woo" her off of a dating site. My mom is not a sophisticated woman...she told me he had an accent that she thought was "french" (in her dreams). The only red flag for her was that he started saying how much they were meant to be together, she was the love of his life, etc.
His story was that he and his son were off to some job in a foreign country and that when he returned he'd come see her. He went as far as sending her a gold heart necklace. She went as far as giving him her address, planning on an extended visit from him. sheesh. She lives in another state and in telling me the "stories" on the phone you would have thought she was a teen aged girl!
I kept telling her "Ma, this guy is not for real"! Even though she said she "sort of" knew I think she wanted him to be with all of his sweet talkin' carp .
Of course in a matter of a couple of weeks (if that) he was asking for money since the "new" employer hadn't paid them yet...and BIG money WAS coming.

I'd dug around on the internet (which didn't take long, and I am NOT tech savvy at all), sent Mom a photo of a man who's story seemed to match with other ladies similar stories asking her "is this the guy"?
Of course she was "shocked" that the photos matched...and couldn't understand how he'd picked some picture out of who knows where of a nice looking man about my mothers age and posed as him.
Long story short, our agreement (mother and I) is that any person wanting money from her she is to tell them that her daughter has control of all her assets and just as soon as she can squeeze it out of my tight little fist, she'll make sure to let them know :)

Maybe you might be able to help your friend by either showing her this posting or help her find the a$$ who is scamming her

My brother met his girlfriend on lavalife and they are great together. My ex-dh and I met through video dating (before computers). We were together 15 years.

I was getting into my car at the grocery store, and the car beside me had 4 dogs in it. I just put up my 4 fingers to the lady, and she rolled down her window. 2 goldies in the back seat and 2 smaller white dogs (like small eskimo dogs) in the front. She said they were a product of e-Harmony; they each had their 2 dogs. I asked how the dogs adjusted, and she said Better than "they" have!

I know several people that have met nice people and married and are happy from online dating services. I have just about given up trying to talk sense to the lady I know. I told her, "He's a Nigerian"....her response..."His voice doesn't sound like he is black." Gooood grief! He wouldn't have an accent like an American black man.

When someone is that blind....you can't tell them anything. I tried to scare her about the money laundering. I told her anyone who makes "$900.000" a year....Holy smokes!!...doesn't need to borrow money from her. And, it isn't borrowed...he will never pay her back.

She's a fruit loop...more of an acquaintance than a friend. When her husband died, he wanted to be cremated, but she didn't want to do that, so she had him buried. Then she found a plot that was "prettier"...so she had him dug up and moved there.

Now we have the story of the Notre Dame star football player and his online-only 'girlfriend' with the soap opera life, ending in her 'death' from leukemia, only...wait...maybe she's not really dead, and, and, and...

It seems the internet is like all inventions: There's an up side...and a down side.

I have a GF and her father carried on a realationship with a woman over in India on line for over 10 years~~~even after the FBI came and talked to him about this scam and some Elder Abuse organization talked to him. After the FBI got involved all that changed was he started talking to a different woman, with a diffrent email and phone #.

This started in his late 70's and went on through about 85. He sent gifts sometimes money and he had very little of his own~~~one time he was house sitting for his DD (not my GF her sister) and he took one of her necklaces and sent it to the Indian lady~~~the DD never spoke to him again.

He has passed now, but his 3 DD's will never forget how it changed their last years with their father.

Dating is just plain scary! I'd like to find someone to go out with but have you have ever looked on those dating sites it would scare you to death! Especially the older guys, nasty! The old guys want the younger women anyway. Us old gals don't stand a chance.

I agree with Glenda, don't wait too long, they seem to get uglier as they get older. You may not need a fella now but when your old, sick & alone they might come in handy.

When people get mixed up with those crazy weirdO's what sites are they on?? The Christian sites should be good~~~EHarmony is supposed to have a good rating. My younger DD met a great guy on a younger persons site. They did not stay together for more than a year but, they are still in friends.

I have seen a few match ups at my senior center, not sure if they were long term or not?

They say keep active and you will meet someone??

You could always do what that couple did that met on Facebook.

She found someone with the exact same name as hers, Kelly something (say McKenzie). She friended him and they talked and met and decided to get married. A year or 2 ago.

Seems like a good idea to get married, no changing your name, both names are identical. I don't know why it wouldn't have worked. (tongue inserted firmly in cheek).
Anyway they broke up last week.

I had put an ad on a dating site, and soon was getting requests from all these men that all happen to be engineers. I knew from the get go that they were scammers, so I played along to amuse myself. They all had the same story, divorced or widowed. Wife always died tragically. Some said they had kids, others did not. They all said they were from the US, but suddenly all had jobs overseas that were going to pay big money.

They fall in love fast and start asking to make plans for when they return to the US. Now trouble starts with the jobs, problems, no pay, getting sick and need surgery. So when they start asking me to help them, I suggested they call family and friends and neighbours to help them out. Strange how all these men know no one. In this entire world, I am the only person they can count on. Some nameless, faceless stranger across the world sitting in front of a computer screen. Yes,let me run to the nearest Western Union and send my hard earned money to you. NOT!

Once they realize I am not budging and just keep on giving them suggestions on what to do, I get called mean and nasty names for leading them on. Their spelling and grammar are horrible, for men who claim to be educated and smart business men.

Finally told them I was nobodies mugu. A term they use for the women they are scamming.

thank goodness fil isn't computer savvy! it was bad enough he couldn't wait a year after mil passed...

my mother was a widow for 28 years and i don't think she regretted it at all...she kept busy with swimgym, the once in awhile trip, and plenty of times visited us to be with the grandkids...

Moni, I haven't had a date since my divorce some 11 years ago? I can't even remember what year I got divorced. Someone at work started showing interest and it freaked me out. Still freaks me out.

I tried the online dating thing a long time ago but nothing worked out. I think I got my feelings hurt after I sent pictures and one guy all of a sudden decided I lived too far away. I did eharmony too. Finally, they sent me a profile of one guy...who was a ex drug addict. So, I just stopped altogether trying.

I have been widowed for six years now and started on line dating about two years ago. Most of the guys I've met are more interested in sex than anything. I do have an ongoing thing with one guy (mostly for the sex). Hope you are not shocked but I really don't need a man to taker out to dinner or for companionship but that other thing is a need for me even at 70. I have gotten those scam things too but recognize them for what they are and delete them. Generally unless someone is within an hour's drive I not interested.

fran, I think that is awesome that you are getting what you want out of the guy! :) Personally, I'd rather have the dinner out! LOL

Thanks Kath and Fran for being frank.

I haven't been with a guy since my ex left that one morning... and I took it as a sign he wasn't interested in our marriage any more. I called an attorney and got the divorce thing started.

No regrets, but it was a bumpy road. I haven't been asked out since I left Home Depot.

There were 2 guys there, that hoped I would go out with them... but one was married, and overall, I really don't want to go out with anyone that can't afford to take me someplace nice for dinner or what ever.

That might seem calculated, but I feel like I am worth that.

Moni

Oh, don't rule men out because of their income! You might be missing out on truly wonderful people. Besides, you were working there as well, right? I am sure you wouldn't want someone to judge your relationship potential by your job. Not trying to be harsh as we are all allowed our preferences but I just wanted to put that out there.

Most single people I know in their 20s and 30s do online dating. I have done it before with some good results and a few weird results. It had a stigma attached but I think that is starting to go away. I find it effective.

A friend of mine signed up with Christian mingle and had to post her city and photos....well this guy showed up here in our small town with her picture and asked at a store if anyone knew this woman....well, of course..they told him her name...looked in phone book and had her home address......too scary for me to try! He could have been an axe murderer!

That is scary. It is a good idea to put a nearby city as the location.

I didn't care for Christian Mingle... it has the very same weirdos as the rest of the dating sites.. I found my fella on Senior people meet dot com.. I had lunch with a lot of toads before I met Larry. But some were fun and there are two of them that Larry and I are friends with .. one takes care our pups when we travel someplace that they can't go with us..

There are so many scammers out there.. it is scary.. so you really do need to be cautious..

When Larry contacted me at Senior people meet. he simply said he had folks in Linden.. and being curious, I asked who.. and lo and behold.. I knew some of them.. We got together the first of Dec. 2011, and hit it off. He went to Iowa to spend Christmas with his kids, and called constantly while gone.. Then he and his son got their heads together and wanted me to come there to Iowa for Christmas... instead of my being alone.. Larry drove all the way down to Tennessee and picked me up and off we went to Iowa.. I have not regretted one moment of my time with Larry.. We are now engaged and have tentatively set a wedding date. but I am playing it cool and slow.. We are presently living under the same roof.. and he is taking care of me.. paying all the bills except for a few like insurance and stuff..

I recommend them, but be careful and if they come on and say I love you realy quick... Run like heck.. and if they say they are in Europe or any foreign country and their parents are dead and he was schooled in Ireland.. RUN.. There is a whole boiler room filled with nigerians that are running that scam..

You can have lots of fun and great lunch dates.. but the moment they "forgot their wallet" or anything like that.. pay for YOUR lunch and let him sit twisting in the wind..

Carolyn

Whatever you do I wish you the best and know that when and if someone comes along you will know what to do.

"Not only am I not looking online, I am also not looking in real life. If I meet someone, someplace, and we hit it off, who knows... but I am NOT looking. :)"

I'm right there with ya! No thanks. It's so much more peaceful. Good choice. He might find me, but I'm in no hurry. I've been separated since 2008 and divorced since 2010, and still not a single date. It's loads of fun just to flirt instead (and I don't have to do any compromising or work)!. Maybe you'll find your prince charming.

All of a sudden a few weeks ago I started getting e-mais asking "Looking for black men?", Looking for Jewish men?" and some others. They asked me why I wasn't interested. I replied, "I'm 71 years old, have been married almost 47 years and I'm NOT interested in finding anyone else! One more e-mail came and then they stopped.

Son met his lady on a dating site - Lava life or something?

They got along well together for about three years, have recently backed off somewhat. Seem quite different from one another, but seem to get along well.

I met a widow online ... via Gardenweb, including the "Kitchen Table", as a matter of fact.

Turned out she lived in the same area ... and later it appeared that we attended the same church!

So ...

... when I asked Anne, the minister (with a doctorate, if you please) during coffee hour after church one day whether Mrs. So-and-so was there today ...

... she, looking rather surprised, pointed out a lady sitting three feet from me: I could have reached out and touched her!

So ... we had to explain to Rev. Anne how it was that we'd become friends ....... but didn't know what one another looked like!

Which she, of course, thought to be some strange!

ole joyfuelled

Joyful, what happened with the lady you met???

Happy for you Joyful....I bet you are a little more "joyful" now. ;-)

Moni, no advice about online dating, you have already heard it all. I was widowed 30 years ago. I've had one "date" two years later, with a widower whom my DH and I both had known through church activities. We went to the Christmas Concert. I was miserable.

I say that to say this, there are situations where no one can replace another person. I have not been happy these long years, but I have been content. I know my DH could not be replaced.

Your situation is different. Relax, don't spend your time "looking." If there is someone out there for you, he will come along in a totally unpredicted way. Just like my DH did, all those years ago.

By the way my "date" eventually married and they are very happy. He is a retired minister and I have asked him to preach my funeral. :Sue