So many posts it may already have been said but... redroze, I like your thought about the candy jar because what I hear is this: if the comments are just snarky because lots of people (me!) feel insecure about our own messiness, you can't fix that. On the other hand, likely you do ( seeing as how you have friends over and are not a hermit) want to have a WELCOMING kitchen. So that is more of trying to please others when you are in the role of hostess, and certainly there are many ways to do that, some small touch that says, come in, sit down (or stand up!), I'm glad you're here. If it is possible to tell the difference--between something that someone is foisting on you as a control or jibe thing, vs. intentionally planning a little something that says welcome--then it seems the latter is where a lot of us would like to be. For example, the reverse is ,a kitchen or home that is really too messy, say, to sit down without squashing something or knocking things over or getting some undefined goo on oneself--that's not welcoming, either, but again, if someone drops in, so be it. I read some glossy magazine article by some experienced or well-known "hostess" about little touches for parties, and instead of it sounding nutso (like, "first create your own hand-made paper and then spend 5 days making individual origami party favors" ) , there were very good, small simple things that seemed to have good track record and are easy. I'm not saying you need to change anything at all, especially not saying that one has to be perpetually prepared with candles and a dish of nuts for a member of family or close friend dropping in --I'm just saying I liked your attempt to think, what might draw someone in, say "treat yourself here " and still be simple and neat.

I attended high school in the 1950s and our school did not have a lunch room. The students brought a bag lunch from home and ate in the bleachers in the gym. My typical lunch was a sandwich, a fruit, and a pastry. We high school kids carried our lunch in paper bags. If I was careful with my bag, it could be folded after use and slipped inot my back pocket to be used again. I usually got 3 days of use out or one bag. My one room country grade school lunch experience was different. I carried a lunch box with themos. The thermos liner never lasted an entire school year before it was broken. Most of the time it broke when dropped of when I fell during my journey between home and school. One time it was broken when I used my steel lunch box as a weapon to defend my self from the school bully. Times were difficult for my family during my grade school days. My sandwiches were made with cuts of cooked, home cured pork on slices of home-made bread, I remember once when we ran low on luncheon material, I had a bean sandwich. This was navy beans between two slices of bread, one slice was buttered with home made butter. During those times, once I had a raw turnip to munch on. In the fall, I'd grab an apple or two from a tree in our small orchard on my way to school.

I don't know people who only sit for a couple of days. As I said, different groups have different customs. "Shiva" is a form of the number seven which refers to the length of the initial period of mourning observed by the close family. There are many stages of the mourning process. After the first seven days are the thirty, and then the eleven months. Unless they're close to the family, the same people don't necessarily come every day of the seven, but enough people to conduct a service will come every day, so the services and mourner's prayers can be said in the home. If there aren't enough people, the neighbors will come over for the services. If the mourners are close enough by to get there in time, you just show up every day. Even though there isn't always a meal, per se, someone will put out some of the food that has been brought, since eating together is an important ritual. It's also easier for those in deep mourning if the food just appears, and someone hands them a plate, rather than having to organize meals and worry about feeding guests. People in mourning will also gather to eat during the extended mourning period, but won't attend parties and other revelry. Continuing into the longer periods, we support them with food and with invitations to meals. The salmon salad that I can't look at without wondering who died is really the kind of thing one takes on that first day. Besides being neither milk nor meat, it's made with canned salmon and staple ingredients like celery, and doesn't require shopping. Since the funeral is usually the day after the death, and always no more than three days, that's a consideration.

Mtn, some types of luggage are better at repelling water than others. I follow a load of travel websites. I have seen a number of complaints where luggage has been left sitting on the ramp or on a luggage cart in the middle of a deluge. Not only does the luggage get soaked but so does the contents of the suitcase. And obviously, soft-sided luggage is more prone to absorbing water than hard-sided. Regardless of the composition of the body of the suitcase, I think the frequent weak spot is the zipper. I had a friend who consistently used ziplock-style bags for packing. She told me it was because once she found herself with a suitcase of wet clothes when she reached her destination.