Bwa ha ha is right! If you have to be at one end of the spectrum, be glad you're at your end. I'm pretty darn sure I'm a worse housewife than circuspeanut . I wish I could stay as tidy as you describe. Pics please! Not only is my kitchen too small so not everything can be put away completely (e.g. toaster) but I have 3 small kids and another messy adult too. We're a joke - and I'm constantly working on it and failing at it. My hope is that when my kitchen gets done it will be a new lease on life so to speak and I'll clean more. Yeah sure! ;)

As for getting more "stuff," I hope you're kidding. The less we consume and put in the land fills, the better. I'm guessing you have hobbies/interests, so you could just point out to your friends that it's not like being a "clean freak" is all there is to you and the only way you spend your time. When I was a kid my mom used to be fairly sloppy and we had a family friend who was tidy but an extremely boring person with nothing to talk about ever - just had an uber clean house. My philosophical mom - probably inappropriately so - used to lecture me about people like that. She said it was sad because that woman wasn't living life fully, living in the moment and being creative - she was just trying to maintain order in the otherwise overly-orderly micro-world she created. I think she was a less common breed and that what's more often the case is so many people just live life SO completely that they do well in several areas, including cleaning, if that makes sense. A lot of my friends are that way. And yes to make myself feel better I call them Type A (knowing full well I'm type C, if not Z!) but really, I wish I used my time so well and had that amount of energy and organization.

If it makes you or your friends feel better (although you could also opt to just not care what they think) you could just mock yourself a little in front of your friends and then tell them to back off. Show a sense of humor and a little humility (i.e. admitting your anal or type A or whatever will do the trick) and then they'll feel better! I mean after all, they're clearly feeling inadequate. So funny - I love it. Man, I wish your "problem" was my problem! :)

"Lived in" doesn't have to mean messy, although I admit that ours is a lot of the time! Things that show your personality and sense of family (favorite bowls, plaques, pictures, photos, funky items related to kitchen or not), and functional 'work' items like canisters, favorite cookbooks, fruit bowl, cookie jar, etc. (with more regard to what they do than how they look or are arranged...although they can still be neat and attractive) can give it the 'lived in' appearance. But the fact is, different people have different taste and different ways of showing their personality and making a space 'theirs,' so if you're happy in how it looks, that's really all that counts.

redroze,
enjoy that sparkling neat kitchen while you can! As the other moms have said - your little one will bring his/her own mark to put on the kitchen. You will be amazed at the amount of stuff such little people require! Bottles, toys, bibs, and then their artwork on the fridge (or on the walls - framed if you are lucky). And you will start to love the messes they make while you teach them how to clean up! Congratulations.

Seriously, I think you should take the comments as a complement - as in "I am amazed that you cook AND keep things so neat, because I can usually manage only one or the other" You definitely shouldn't put out stuff just to make someone else happy.

redroze, I think your home is gorgeous, and there's nothing wrong with a clean and tidy kitchen. DH and I are the odd couple for sure, me starting one thing and leaving it half done for something else, and he's a neat freak. I've come over 26 years to appreciate the look of an uncluttered house, but left to my own devices that's not what happens. So enjoy your lovely home while you can; as others above have said, it will change soon enough when you have a little one. Congratulations! Don't let anyone make you feel your way of living isn't just the way it should be, because it is (whatever it is)! I say life is too short to be worrying about what other people think.

Redroze,
Your home is beautiful! I LOVE your kitchen and your remodeled bathrooms! Don't worry one bit about things looking lived-in or cozy, New Baby will take care of that! Or, the other moms will be marveling at how tidy your house is even with a little one in it! Congratulations! How exciting!

The only things I always have on my counter are a fruit bowl, a kettle and my DH's Bodum glass coffee pot, and I put the Bodum away sometimes. I've also had two people comment that the counters were so "empty". I have a small counter between my door and fridge and it has a tv and a small bowl for keys.

That's my ideal - today there are bills and newspapers and some groceries out and a few dishes that haven't been put away - daily stuff that comes in and goes out, but I'm fairly rigorous about not keeping the mixer or toaster or cannisters or utensils or pepper mill out.

I can be messy while working in the kitchen but when I clean it all up, it's fairly unencumbered, and I please only myself about that. As I've said on other posts, your place is simply gorgeous - truly a picture!

circuspeanut, if you weren't my Kitchen Forum hero/heroine before, you certainly are now!

I wish I could be more like you, redroze, (and other neat posters), but it doesn't happen. I love walking into a nice, clean house--hate coming into the kitchen to find someone else's empty soft-drink can on the counter, but I've learned to let it go. Ommmmmmmmm...

I'm with the posters who say not to purchase stuff just to put out and fit someone else's idea of homey. Your kitchen is gorgeous and warm as is. My kitchen looks an awful lot like circuspeanut's on a daily basis, even with my best efforts to keep the counters clear. Motherhood may give your kitchen more of a typical (re: messier) lived-in look(forget the shower, there were somedays that I would wonder if I had time to brush my teeth,) or you could be like my good friend who has four children and a spotless home. Either way, I wouldn't sweat the comments.

Redroze,

Congratulations on the coming messy one!!

Your style is your style. Don't compromise for comments! (When there's spitup on your shirt and you don't have time to change you might have to compromise, but that's another story.) Your dear ones will get used to it!!

You could also invite them over to help or kibbitz while you're making spaghetti sauce or pie, so that they can see the working aspect of the kitchen, and try not to be too perfect in containing the mess when mushroom scraps fall off the cutting board, or flour gets on the counter, so that your loved ones can feel it's okay if they spill a little too. Then you can wipe everything up at the end, restore perfection, and let them see how you do it.

I took this picture on an ordinary day when someone wanted to see my island. The tea set is out, there are leftover flowers, a pan on the drying mat with a towel near by on the counter, the kettle on the stove, the electric kettle out from testing plugs. There are two decorative bottles, one oil, one pasta, that were gifts. The mixer lives in the corner, and the spoon rest my best friend gave me for my 10th-ish birthday is by the stove, even though it matches nothing. The phone is on the table a lot of the time, though it can go inside a message center. There's a tablecloth and a basket waiting to be put away, my camera, a napkin holder and a box of matzah waiting to be ground to crumbs. There's also a stack of operating manuals for the appliances and a few related papers.

None of this stuff is part of the "design". The mixer stays. Probably the spoon rest. Most of the rest is in transit, and is gone when there's company. Maybe the key is to finish doing up the dishes after the folks get there? To let them see you fold and hang the towel? I liked the way you did your kitchen up better than most of what the designer did. Hers looked a bit sterile. Yours is merely neat.

Redroze, all I can say is, "I wish!" My pre-remodel kitchen is lacking in storage, disastrous in its organzation, has no rangehood, AND I'm a terrible housekeeper.

Seriously, your friends might not be "frenemies," but the fact that the comment is making you uncomfortable underscores my suspicion that Miss Manners would declare them to be lacking in manners. Or insecure about their own housekeeping, or both.

Response to the lack of smells: "Yes, isn't it great? I love our new rangehood!"

Response to it doesn't look lived in: "I'll take that as a compliment. I work hard to keep it neat."

It's none of their business. Really. Don't change your kitchen to make other people happy.

Being neat and organized isn't a curse, it's a gift. I can tell you that by going into parenthood this organized you will be one step ahead of the game.

Never mind what others say, your kitchen rocks, and so sorry that they couldn't smell the night before's dinner...thank goodness for great vents!

How about comments on "how can you live in THAT?"?

I'm with rhome: "...if you're happy in how it looks, that's really all that counts."

I've often said that I wish I had an "inner Monica" so that my home was tidier than it is, but alas I don't. I've learned to accept this about myself and, even better, I've stopped apologizing for whatever state my home is in when friends and family visit. It took a long time to get here but it has definitely brought me peace. I'm a firm believer that if we're gracious, warm and welcoming, the state of our homes becomes secondary.

Now if this really bugs you, then you can always have a small stash of decorative items that you haul out of the closet moments before friends and family arrive, to be returned to their closet once they leave, returning your home to the serene state you prefer. Kinda like bringing out Uncle Earl's hula-dancer-with-a-clock-in-its-belly lamp. Not your taste but it makes Uncle Earl feel good when he visits.

btw, I didn't make up that clock. It was an actual wedding gift to a college roommate of mine!

How does one do it? I've recently joined FlyLady in hopes of finding some answers...

I can't imagine commenting on someone having a clean kitchen that does not smell LOL I'm sorry but that's rude.

If I were visiting I'd just assume that you didn't have children, had a great housekeeper, or both LOL

We have two sometimes very elegant homes. I was once asked how I manage keeping the house so gorgeous. LOL I'd shipped the kiddo off to mom's for the day and DH and I frantically cleaned up to the last 3 seconds before the guests arrived.

When I didn't have kids my kitchen was spotless and never smelled like food. I can't say as anyone ever commented on that. When we did have friends for dinner it was apparent we did cook (I've won several awards and DH is know for his cooking skills) so you were assured of a great dinner and fabulous dessert, clean kitchen or dirty :) Now that we have the kiddo, you still are, though I have less time to cook my part of the program. But you're also more likely to be dining in an elegant dining room, filled with crystal and silver, and six or seven thomas trains LOL

Elegant and clean and lived in are all in the eye of the beholder. People walk into the victorian and say "it's gorgeous etc" and it is, but since i live here and know that there are sherry stains and fading on the carpet, water marks on the antique wall paper, etc, it does not feel so elegant :) And most often it feels very lived in. Don't fret the lived in thing.....one kid and your house will always look lived in. Just don't let it get too lived in. I draw the line at grape jelly on the floor!

You all gave me a lot of food for thought. I grew up in a household with tons of clutter so I think I've tended towards the opposite. Mostly it's a healthy kind of neatness, other times (when I'm feeling particularly stressed at work for example) it becomes less healthy - I see something strewn across the island and ask my husband "what is this doing here??" So I need to manage it sometimes...err more on the side of living rather than being neat.

I am SO excited about the baby giving it a more lived-in look...and generally focussing on something other than renos, as much as I love renos and interior design. Having the baby also gives me an excuse to get fun slipcovers for the kitchen chairs so I can't wait for that too! (Imagine the possibilities...toile...stripes...polkadots!!)

I do agree with some of you that I need more things that show my personality. One thing I love about visiting other peoples' homes is sneaking treats as I have quite the sweet tooth, so I'm getting a candy bowl to fill with goodies. I'd also like more canisters that are usable and can store things like pretzels. There are these 6 bird coasters that I l-o-v-e and somehow want to incorporate somehow into the decor besides just leaving them in a stack. One thing I learned from our styling is grouping items to the left of the cooktop, but instead of the chopping board I'll do a cute silver tray, maybe even one that's meant for a bathroom. I can't remember who on this forum gave me that idea but whoever it is - thanks!!

I like the idea of having a butcher block out. I really "heart" the walnut end grain ones from Ozark but they're hella pricey.

I'm also relieved to hear there are other neat folks like me that enjoy their orderliness. I never expect it of others, it's just a personal trait that works for me, which is why I guess I felt so hurt by the comments. Plllog - they have been in my kitchen many times while making meals and cleaning up, which is why I guess I don't get why they've still made the comment. DH thinks it's because they are secretly insecure on their own kitchens. I hate that anyone would feel that way from being in our kitchen. I guess I can't control their feelings...and I naturally just want them to feel comfortable. But to others' point...they're just comments. Maybe because it affects me, does it keep being brought up, so maybe if I don't seem affected by it the comments will stop.

I do want to invest in a good tea kettle to keep on the cooktop as we drink lots of tea (decaf right now) or instant oatmeal in the morning. Sugarmaple - I love the idea of the glass bowl for keys!! My husband always has three things - iPhone, keys, wallet - and forgets one of the three almost every morning. One idea I can pass on is the kitchen "inbox". I store all mail in there temporarily til I get the chance to sort it, or things that I store temporarily til I file it.

Circuspeanut - thank you so much for sharing the photo!!! Bravo to you, you are clearly someone who loves life and herself. I want to one day be 100% comfortable in my skin...at 31 I'm getting there but have a way to go!!!

Plllog - I love love love your tea set!!! I love your kitchen, I can't remember ever seeing a full shot of it and it looks divine!! Especially the tile floor pattern!!

Mamagoose, I'm with you...ommmmmmm....DH's dirty socks on the bedroom floor however, INEXCUSABLE.

Thanks everyone for the warm wishes!! 3 months from now and I'll be a mom - I can hardly believe it.

Flylady??????????????

For those of you that asked - and risking complete overexposure of my kitchen - here is a photo. I admit that it does look like this during off-cooking times...yes I'm that much of a neat freak. One more average days you'll generally see one or two laptops on the island, and some magazines, mail...pretty basic stuff I guess.

Also a link to my blog if you want to see more photos.

Oh Igloo, you made me hungry!!! I had no idea you were an award-winning cook, I can only imagine what type of fab meals you make. I was resisting eating leftover pizza at this time (11 pm-ish) but I'll have to succumb to it. I guess I can use the excuse, "but baby really wants it".

I love the way your kitchen looks. Yours is one of the kitchens I always go back to, looking at one detail or another.
As others have said, I think those friends are just envious. And again, once the little one comes, there will be "stuff"!

I can only hope to be more tidy when my kitchen is done.

Where are my manners? I forgot to tell you congratulations! I wish you an uneventful final trimester and birth and a baby that sleeps through the night sooner rather than later.

LOVE the pop of hot pink from the blooming azalea on your table and the bowl of oranges next to your cooktop. They sing against the calming backdrop of your kitchen. If your kitchen were otherwise, I would overlook them so easily.

Congratulations on your baby boy, Redroze. I hadn't heard! (peaked at your blog - same white Jenny Lind crib I still have my three used).

I could have written I'm also relieved to hear there are other neat folks like me that enjoy their orderliness. I never expect it of others, it's just a personal trait that works for me, which is why I guess I felt so hurt by the comments.

I am a neat freak. Always have been. Always will be. Not OCD, there is dust, dust bunnies, dog/cat hair in places, but I enjoy cleaning. I dislike clutter. I love organization. I like doing dishes! DH cooked dinner for us and DD2 who came by after work. I did the dishes. Pushed him out of the way. ;)

Neighbor down the street came into my house one day, saw my pantry (that I love!) and said "this isn't a real cook's pantry." >:( I've never claimed to be a cook or a chief. I don't necessarily enjoy cooking every day (not now, but did when we had three at home), but love it when I do. I love cooking for holidays or special occasions... and prepping/etc is always washed as I go. I tend to dive into the dishes, glasses and put up leftovers etc as soon as we get up from the table. Many hang around the island to watch, help or talk.

I do have more things on my counters than you - none many non-kitchen, non-cooking things. But never things just to fill in. I see something out antiquing and it calls my name. Those are the types of things to fill in with, if anything at all. Something that brings you joy each time you see it. Soon, your kitchen will be filled with all things baby, and you'll forget about those mentioned in your OP until they come over and say "wow, I've never seen your house so messy before!" Don't worry, the police report will read you were allowed the first swing due to fluctuating hormones and lack of sleep. ;D

First, congrats! Having your first is such a blessed and exciting time in life :-)

I think it's simple personal preference and you should do what YOU like. I personally like and need stuff that makes me feel like the kitchen is personal and lived in. I actually LIKE stuff on the fridge with magnets, canisters, small appliances, etc on the countertop because it's all evidence of "home" and "life lived" to me. But that's ME. It may not be you and that's OK.

This is the neatest my old kitchen ever was. I am not a sloppy person, but there was always random clutter on the island and often on the table. And that white floor was constantly dirty. I don't have photos of my new kitchen easily accesible (and it's not finished anyway):

Redroze,
Wonderful news about the baby to be this fall. A perfect
time to welcome a little bundle. By the holidays the
bundle will look even more adorable for family photos...

As for your friends and visitors making comments. I am sure
it is in no way to offend. It is probably that they truly
are impressed with how hard you work to keep your home
lovely. And the quality you have in a good hood to keep
smells away. Now you might consider a hood for the diaper
can as time gets near. : )

Joy to you.
~boxer

And here is my kitchen.. Sadly,I never get comments about
my kitchen looking un-lived in. I would be thrilled with
such a comment. I am not as tidy as I wish but I would
not trade a thing as I adore my children. They make me let
my hair down, get messy and be little crazy sometimes. And
one day they will be on their own and my home will be neat
again..
or
maybe not. I sort of like the messy back packs, the nail
polish bottles strewn about, the cleats, the finger prints
on the walls, the cookie crumbs on the counter...

In the photo, notice the hideous Blender in the corner.
My DH's favorite kitchen tool is older than our marriage.
He has this out to make his fruit smoothie. I had to ask
him to step back so you would not have to see his tacky
pajama shorts and mussed up hair.

My son left a birthday card on the counter, my daughter
has a necklace, you can not see it but there is a lap top
on the table along with a bowl of grapfruits. Who eats
grapefruits? No one that is why they are still there.
And probably moldy too... Ahhh I need a good hood.

Enjoy the anticipation and baby planning,
~boxer

A few things that make a house look lived in and make the guests feel welcome and that they are not "messing" up the perfect house.

Cut flowers that are changed out every week. So no matter when someone drops in, there are cut flowers in the house. Many rich people/hotels/restaurants have flowers delievered weekly for this same reason. You can make sure you have some cut flowers in the house when you know you are having guests.

Candles that have been lit before: this conveys a feeling that people use nice things in this house. If you only have unlit candles in the house, it makes the guests feel that everything is for decoration only. It's similar to only having brand new soap in the guest bath. One should use "nice" things in the house and not reserve them for guests only or keep it as decoration only. I recently was at a house and they use a stack of small towels for guest towels. They did not leave a container for used towels. I did not know how to deal with that.....

There should be a nice place where some magazines and newspapers are set aside that convey that you actually sit at that spot and read, ie the space is used. Obviously, this should be a real place.

All the colors and textures that you have used are cool palettes. It does come off as a place that is not warm. This is the end effect of using the color palette that you used.

One of the reasons that minimalistic type of architecture and decorating is not popular is because it feels cold and unwelcome because it can be devoid of personality. (I love minimalistic decorating and this is how it comes off to other people...)

I envy you having the storage space to keep things that neat. The only reason my current kitchen is cluttered is because there is not enough room (it is 11x11 with four doorways) so stuff ends up on top of the fridge, piled on the back stairs and on the counters (and I have young kids). But when we renovate later this summer the kitchen will be bigger and I plan to have LOTS of storage so that as much as possible can be put away (maybe those kids too!). It will also be white, but with some soapstone and butcher block counters and wood floors to warm things up.
I see that you have some wood, but it is very dark so the space reads as black and white which can look cold. Maybe if you brought in some warm colours in fabrics or crockery/canisters you'd get some pops of colour to change it. Maybe even some cream tones would be enough. But if you love the clean white look, then enjoy it and don't worry about what other people think.

Redroze, you're too kind! My finished pictures aren't going up (or being taken) until the kitchen is actually finished. I just got in some parts that were needed for the DW panel (long story), and the GC is coming by this week to check what needs to be scheduled. They worked overtime to get me in and cooking in time for Passover, so the finish finishing has been coming in dribbles since. I haven't pushed it because they were so wonderful when I had a deadline.

Having read your reply, I'm thinking your DH has a point that the comments are more about the commenters' kitchens than yours. "Your kitchen is so neat and tidy it looks like no one lives here," translates to, "Never in a million years could I imagine having a white kitchen stay spotless and tidy for an entire minute, what with the people in my house who think of a clean kitchen as a beckoning opportunity to make a mess!" And, "Is there any food here? I can't see or smell any!" translates to, "Every time I walk into my house I can smell toast and last night's dinner. I don't know how Roze and DH can eat in here without leaving traces!" It sounds like admiration and puzzlement, not anything that needs fixing.

Redroze - first congratulations! Hopefully you're beyond the nausea and headaches by now! I also wish you a restful, comfortable and uneventful third trimester - by far the third trimester was my favourite time of pregnancy (I was sick until about week 26).

Second - your kitchen is perfect, an inspiration to thousands, change nothing. As others have noted, character will be added purposely and not-so-purposely by your bundle of joy and all the accoutrement.

I get comments like that too, but my toddler son and five-year old daughter add all the additional colour, charm and character my kitchen needs (IMHO anyway).

Good luck and best wishes.

Your kitchen is beautiful!

I can't see how "lived in" is something to aspire to. But if you wanted it to feel a bit warmer, Id try some antiques (anything with a patina), or oil paintings. I love old scales for fruit.

You may also want to buy some cloches or baskets for fruit.

In the meantime, enjoy perfection!

Allison0704 - Did you use the drop side for the Jenny Lind crib?? We like the functionality of it but drop sides are banned now. I got a free converter kit to make it fixed but it's not even white, it's red (how ridiculous they are thinking that that would make sense).

Thanks all, I promise to post pics once all the baby gear is in!! Now THAT will make a fantastic finished kitchen photo. I still remember RMkitchen's brightly coloured kids chaired in her gorgeous kitchen....

Needsometips and Boxerpups - Looks pretty neat to me!! You don't know clutter until you've met my mom. I should get a photo of her kitchen...yeah that would be funny. She knows she's a pack rat too, not "horders" calibre but definitey cluttery. You would get along well with my dad, he is the magnet king.

Kaismom - Did I mention I'm a pyromaniac??? I'm a fire sign so that probably helps. I love candles; candles are everywhere in my home especially when we're entertaining. My DH bought me a cool "blowtorch" for lack of a better word (I don't konw what it's called...an igniter? It has a switch for a flint and some gas stuff inside) that I use to light candles as I always hurt myself with regular Bic lighters. He always teases me when he sees me using it. I never have unlit candles...as soon as I put them out, light them, as I love that lighted look. I agree about the cut flowers!! I also agree with your philosophy about using nice things. I don't keep or buy anything that i don't actually use...with the exception of the pink platter on my counter that I've been thinking about using for future. Your point about the cool palettes...interesting as the neutrals in our rooms are actually warm in person. The only cools are the dark wood and granite. I guess you're referring to the cools in the bathrooms too. Interesting point. Our rooms definitely come off as very "serene" in person but htey're warmer in person.

Plllog - You're almost there, hang in there so we can see your finished kitchen!! you're right..maybe I come off as puzzling. Key thing is not to be ashamed of it.

Sochi - Another neat one, even with two young ones. Nice to know I'm not alone in the world.

Hello...I'm Marlene and I'm a clutterer.

redroze...when can you come over and transform my "lived-in" to a "not lived-in" kitchen? I always seem to have a sink and a half full of dirty dishes and the floor needs to be mopped.

My Mom is a clutterer and I inherited the practice...I hate the feeling...I am always chasing stacks of junk all over my house. I didn't realize I had this affliction till late in life, so it is hard to break the habit...and believe me...I have enough storage closets and nooks to put things away.

Your kitchen is beautiful and you should be proud of how clean and organized it looks. Wait a minute...is that a dust-bunny by your fridge????

circuspeanut....you are so brave!

I would post a photo of my kitchen but I think the camera is buried underneath all the papers, tools, etc. I think the comments I would receive is not "your kitchen doesn't looked lived in" but rather "How do you live in this kitchen?"

redroze - congrats on the little miracle to be and savor those white dining chairs while they're still white - LOL. Your kitchen is beautiful! And let me say that I am a person who has lots of stuff and am currently trying to reduce the amount. Too much stuff can be very stressful. I swear my son has become a minimalist because of how much stuff I have!

Vamiressrn (guessing you work the night shift as an RN??) - I wouldn't be surprised if you saw a dust bunny! I'm actually similar to Allison in that if it were up to me, I'd have dust bunnies and streaks on the table and crumbs on the island. It's my husband that's the "cleaner"...he vaccuums, wipes, cleans the cooktop, is super stain remover and Miracle eraser. I tidy up clutter, don't overbuy (no 2-3 spatulas for me), and keep things organized. So the combination of him and I = super neatness.

"Do you ever get comments about your kitchen not looking lived in?"

LOL. Well, no. As a matter of fact a dear friend of mine more than once over the years has said things like, "I just love your house (or kitchen), it looks so lived in". I was never sure if it was a compliment or a backhand negative remark, ha ha.

I LOVED BEING PREGNANT. I envy you! Being pregnant with my first was one of the best moments of my life. So filled with anticipation and excitement! I loved the act of childbirth (I know I'm unusual), I loved the nights up nursing (well, I'm sure at the time I was EXHAUSTED), I loved everything about being a mommy. I still am one . . . it's just different. They're 21, 19, 15 now. Ahhhhhhhh, to be starting all over again.

Enjoy your beautiful home, your new bundle, and all of the wonderful memories that you are sure to create as a loving family : ) And if you're one to be a perfectionist . . . my advice is, don't sweat the small stuff. I own a large childcare center and the following poem is included in our parent handbook to help parents put things into perspective. I thought I'd share.

If I Had My Child To Raise All Over Again

I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my work, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes, and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and clean the house later.
I'd teach less about the lover of power,
and more about the power of love.

Diane Loomans

Have you ever thought that those people that make the comments might be jealous of how clean and uncluttered your kitchen is? I hate when my island is a pigsty. Having two boys and a husband that like to play and work outside, its very difficult to keep the house clean and uncluttered. I also am a neat and uncluttered freak unlike my husband. Funny how we don't fight over money issues but dirt on the floor and his hoarding tendencies!

Your kitchen is gorgeous and I am jealous of how neat it is. Mine only looks like that when I am expecting people over. I get crazy and clean the entire house, even upstairs where most people (probably just kids)wouldn't even see.

Best wishes on your upcoming arrival! Enjoy!

P.S. once the fingerprints start coming, your kitchen will look more than lived in! :) I am forever telling my kids to wash their hands! lol...

redroze wrote "Vampiressrn (guessing you work the night shift as an RN??)...."

Or maybe she's a nurse on a Red Cross blood mobile! Love the clever names so many of you have come up with. Wish I'd be more imaginative when I joined GW so many years ago.

Judydel, everything you said about pregnancy and childbirth...ditto here! Redroze, I envy you too, but I say that cause we actually are trying what Judydel mentioned - starting all over aga n, now that ours are 6 and 8. Just not ready to be done with the baby years. Cherish every second of those baby and toddler years, they fly by so fast! I am praying for twins :-).

Momand3boys, too funny about getting crazy and cleaning the entire house, even the areas the guests won't see. That's what I do too and it makes for a VERY exhausting day of about 7 hours of cleaning. Redrose, you sound like you are a person who might stay on top of it so you won't have to run around like a chicken with your head cut off before guests arrive. Sounds so nice :-).

wait till your baby turns about 3, things will change then. We used to get that comment all the time before our DD was born. Didn't bother me at all since I am a clean freak and actually took that as a compliment. I was able to stay that way till DD turned about 3 or 4 and somehow I lost control and have never gotten it back.. Grandparents over buying have not helped my situation at all but I am learning to let go..
btw-congrats on your upcoming little one

I'm envious of anyone who can live & work in their kitchen & keep it pristine. Many years ago when I had a small 1K sq. ft. condo with small kitchen (one friend describes as what his friends in NYC lived in . . .) I had a Christmas Brunch & invited co-workers. One friend said, "I really like your kitchen, it looks used". I smiled & translated to "homey" & kept moving; however, with our remodel & more drawers & presumably better organization I look forward to having different descriptors than "used" & "homey". [This summer while running kids (2 boys 9 & 10) to swim & dive team practices it occurred to me that I can't organize home if I never stay home . . . now this is my mid-year resolution as I move back into my newly remodeled kitchen!!!! :-)]

I haven't been on GW since the raspberry bath and I am SO SO SO happy that today I did, so I could see your sweet name and always-so-fabulous kitchen. Yum yum do I love your space!

I wonder if part of your friends' comments might stem from the white wall of cabinetry / backsplash, as that's where I have (not often -- see below!) felt the "not lived in" in my own kitchen. In my case, that feeling only happens when I've put everything away (ha ha -- it's like bunnies and has multiplied before I've turned my back) and also because my eye has become accustomed to the pictures taped to the cabinet fronts, so I no longer "see" them, if that makes sense.

I wish we were a tidier family because I think all our detritus detracts from the beautiful elements of our kitchen. For example, you can really enjoy your granite and that wonderful backsplash because you don't have stuff all over. I think our snowcone machine, full dishrack, ladybug house, notepads, etc. take away from the marble.

I think the white reads as clean and people are equating the clean (plus you really are clean!) with not lived in, maybe??? I bet that's why in those magazine spreads of white kitchens they have cutting boards with brightly colored fruits & veggies lusciously arrayed on them and huge, unrealistic (in my opinion) arrangements of flowers. People don't really live that way but the stylist is breaking up the white, at least that's what I suspect.

I see your kitchen as insanely beautiful and a flattering reflection of you and your husband. I am excited for the fall when it'll also be a reflection of Beautiful Baby Boy.

I'm sorry I've been bad about contacting you -- I was going to say I've been working like a dog in the backyard but our dog sleeps a lot ... so I've been working like a bird making its nest, except I sweat and can't sing those sweet songs.

xo!

These were taken during lunchtime prep:

Rmkitchen, your kitchen makes me smile because it's oh so familiar. I love the taped up photos and papers on the fridges. At least you don't have an overflowing sink of dirty dishes like I do right now! (And why am I sitting here on GW when I should be cleaning up?!)

This post really made my laugh. "Not lived in" is the LAST phrase anyone would use to describe my kitchen. It's the most lived-in room of the house. My counters always collect clutter, the mail, kids school work, papers, even miscellaneous toys and the TV remote! I hate it, but everyone in the family (including me) is guilty of this. The frig is papered with important reminders and magnets. The children's prized artwork decorates the walls of the eating nook. And there are usually some clean dishes left out to dry next to the sink. I do at least manage to keep up with the dirty dishes, barely. When I grow up I want to be like you.

Red:
What amazing happy news!! So excited for you! My first baby just graduated from college a few weeks ago so it's been a while since I've thought about colorful baby stuff. But, what a wonderful, wild, beautiful adventure you have before you. Enjoy, enjoy!

I totally have a neatness thing!!! It definitely had to take second fiddle when I had babies and little kids but now that my oldest has her own apt and my youngest is 9, "order" reigns!!! My kitchen remains spotless and I freak out when my DH puts his dirty keys and wallet on my island counter where food goes. I don't like clutter on my counters and my kids know that after they get food out, it gets cleaned up. I purchased an extra deep sink so dishes are "hidden" when they are in the sink. My sisters have accused me of having a "non-lived in" look too, but I just ignore it--it's my style and I admit it's my "kryptonite" to have a messy kitchen. It's the one area where I can control--no matter if work, kids, family and life is chaotic, I can keep my kitchen neat and it makes me happy to come home to a clean place.

Now I definitely have other areas of my life that are messy, and my laundry is almost always overflowing, but my kitchen....ahh! Don't worry about it! I love love your kitchen and it will always be the first inspiration for my own white kitchen!

I am desperately trying to maintain the 'not lived in too much' look :)

We entertain a lot, almost every weekend we have friends over for drinks and dinner. monthly parties etc. I would like to keep the kitchen looking not lived in too soon :) after having spent a lot of money and effort in remodeling it.

Allison0704 - Did you use the drop side for the Jenny Lind crib?? We like the functionality of it but drop sides are banned now. I got a free converter kit to make it fixed but it's not even white, it's red (how ridiculous they are thinking that that would make sense).

Well, it had the drop down side, but I rarely put it up/down. Kept mattress higher until I had to lower it, and none of the children slept (mostly for naps) in the crib after 9-12mths anyway. Red?! That's nice! lol Why not brown, black or white options? ???

LOL...you guys are too funny. Been a nurse for almost 30 years...in my old age I am lucky to have a full time day job and no weekends...but did my time on other shifts. Have had this name on the Internet for eons...I like Vampire genre so just combined it with the RN.

redroze...congrats on baby. :-)

I love your kitchen lights...have always been attracted to that style. What is that style called?

Judydel - What a perfect little poem...it made me tear up actually. Thank you for reminding me about what's important.

Needsometips - Fingers crossed for you!! You are lucky to be blessed twice, and hopefully blessed a 3rd an 4th time!

Rm - Hello!!! Your kitchen is like a second home to me too given how often I view it over again, and even better in its state of perfect reality and the boys' artwork on those perfect cabinets. You're so right about the white kitchen photos. DH and I looked through Christopher Peacock ones yesterday and noticed the styling incorporated lots of stuff...flowers and fruits and veggies galore.
Case in point: {{gwi:1901195}}

Don't worry about being in contact, I have my hands full with finishing off work and prepping for the baby! We're getting our stairs redone right now so will post photos of those soon on the Home Decor forum! HOpefully...if we don't get anymore delays (grr on those).

Fun2cook - I can't wait til I get artwork from our children...assuming we're having another which we do want.

I know Allison!!

Vampiressrn - Haha...my mom is an RN that's why I knew there must be some type of meaning there. The lights are from Turn of the Century lighting in Toronto and the style is "John Gage", although i guess you could generically call them a lantern style. You may assume we were inspired by the Christopher Peacock kitchens but in reality it is a variation of my very first inspiration kitchen ever...this kitchen helped me to figure out the "must haves" of white cabinetry with a dark island, and the two lantern style pendants above the island. Still love it to this day. Can't find it at the moment but if I do I'll post it...

So many posts it may already have been said but...

redroze, I like your thought about the candy jar because what I hear is this: if the comments are just snarky because lots of people (me!) feel insecure about our own messiness, you can't fix that. On the other hand, likely you do ( seeing as how you have friends over and are not a hermit) want to have a WELCOMING kitchen. So that is more of trying to please others when you are in the role of hostess, and certainly there are many ways to do that, some small touch that says, come in, sit down (or stand up!), I'm glad you're here.

If it is possible to tell the difference--between something that someone is foisting on you as a control or jibe thing, vs. intentionally planning a little something that says welcome--then it seems the latter is where a lot of us would like to be. For example, the reverse is ,a kitchen or home that is really too messy, say, to sit down without squashing something or knocking things over or getting some undefined goo on oneself--that's not welcoming, either, but again, if someone drops in, so be it.

I read some glossy magazine article by some experienced or well-known "hostess" about little touches for parties, and instead of it sounding nutso (like, "first create your own hand-made paper and then spend 5 days making individual origami party favors" ) , there were very good, small simple things that seemed to have good track record and are easy.

I'm not saying you need to change anything at all, especially not saying that one has to be perpetually prepared with candles and a dish of nuts for a member of family or close friend dropping in --I'm just saying I liked your attempt to think, what might draw someone in, say "treat yourself here " and still be simple and neat.

I hope kids aren't the only excuse for a messy kitchen or I'm going to have to start making some up. After all your work and care hopefully your beautiful kitchen reflects your personality. If you snapped a photo of me in your kitchen people would think I broke in - mismatched clothes, wild hair and probably a dollup of something somewhere where it shouldn't be would make me stick out like a sore thumb. I think folks are probably a bit envious - while your lovely kitchen and tidiness just aren't me - I know I am.

I agree with the posters here who said that your kitchen reflects your personality. Since you like to keep things clean and have a powerful hood, of course there are no sights and smells.

IMO a carefully planned kitchen should definitely have no items hanging around -- the whole purpose of planning is to avoid clutter. Also, having a sparkling clean kitchen does not mean that the kitchen is not lived in.

Also, a white color on cabinetry has a certain serenity to it that automatically brings in a vibe of cleanliness. Also, since they get dirty fast, owners typically go out of their way to clean it up! All these contribute to the "brand new" look and some folks associate it with a "not lived in look".

To make it more "lived in", (in addition to waiting for the baby), you can add simple touches like putting couple of pots/pans on the stove (they may be empty but put lids on them), you can arrange some of your utensils in a large container/canister and put it next to your cooktop. A candy jar on island sounds great, as does a cookbook.

(I know because DH did all this, inspite of being a clean freak, when I first visited his house when we were dating. He's a neat freak and I completely missed it because of all this clever "staging", LOL).

And once your kiddo arrives, trust me, very soon you will have magnets on the fridge, artwork (done by the kid) on the walls, toys lying around, etc. It may or may not be your definition of "lived in" but it will acquire a personality of your little one! Congratulations.

Redroze, congratulations and may you have a happy and stressless last trimester! Don't change your beautiful kitchen one bit, unless that is what YOU want to do!!! I agree with the many other posters that those who said those things wish their kitchens were as beautiful & uncluttered as yours. I'm hoping/praying that after the remodel I'll be able to have an uncluttered kitchen, too!