I would be interested in knowing what the intermediary - the previous owner of the house - said to this couple about you and your son and his illness.

They are so blatantly creepy, it's occurred to me they might be checking you out, for what reason I have no clue. Or they wanted to see the house and are
pretending to want to see your son.

Definitely believe in your mommy-radar --
Their interest is creepy and even under the best of circumstances, inappropriate.

The best of circumstances? Well, lets assume that your darling little boy just charmed the dickens out of them, as only a super-cute small-for-his-age 4 year old who's comfortable with adults can. And yeah, let's assume they heard a tragic story about a little boy at death's door... Sure, they'd want to see him again. And yeah, maybe even feel a 'special connection' given they've 'helped him out'. But still...

I like the idea of talking to DS about the 'kinda knows' people, and also about trusting his own instincts if he's ever uncomfortable.

And if you're ever face to face with these folks again and they ask a question that's any more intrusive than "How's your darling son?", then I'd give them a short -- "You seem very interested in my son..." non-answer, then wait (uncomfortably) while they struggle to explain themselves. I bet there is a reason -- But until you know what it is, I'd absolutely err on the side of standoffishness.

"Just take a peek?"...... That alone would send alarm bells ringing, as it did for you, Igloo. This couple sounds really, really creepy and I'd do everything you needed to to protect your son from any contact with this couple ever again. I've got goosebumps thinking about what kind of weirdness these people represent.

Trust your mommy radar and try to find out more about this couple, so you can avoid them in the future, too. The fact that they don't live near you, but the husband was "driving by" and stopped to chat sounds very suspicious, too.

Do be careful and keep your little guy safe.

OMG- You might thing about contacting the police- go to the station and ask if you could talk someone informally - not to make a report- tell them your concerns- you never know, they may already be aware of these people but have never been able to make formal charges-

You also don't have to be nice to them, you don't know them

Find another Doctor-

You are so smart to listen to your instincts - this is a very scary situation

Good Luck

Sara

I raised an adorable very sick child. I never had anyone approach me for an "adult" play date with DD. These people are just too comfortable with overtly displaying an odd attraction to a small child. Not good. Whether they realize it or not, they themselves are waving huge red flags. Heck, they might as well be carrying flags.

If this woman has any access to your DS' medical records, I would absolutely changing docs AND explaining to the doctor privately, of course, why you are doing so. I would want any and all records or information (if any) already given to the practice.

We constantly hear about how people, women especially, who feel uncomfortable listening to/paying attention to an "off" feeling about someone and reacting to that feeling for fear of the possibility of being "politically incorrect". Those situations we hear about are usually being alone on an elevator with a person who is giving off a bad vibe, or something similar. That is tame compared to this situation. This situation goes way beyond the pale IMHO.

I tried to post last night and this morning but my silly internet was acting up so I'm finally getting on now. First, thanks for the book and video recomendations...both will be ordered tonight, and I love the video idea! We'll take it with us to watch while on vacation.

You know, it could be they fancy themselves saviors of our son given the contact initially (and it wasn't a huge deal...the clinic is terrible about answering the phone and we couldn't get an appointment nor verify that they had H1N1 for us prior to moving so I mentioned that frustration to the previous owner who mentioned it to the gal...not something to consider yourself a new relative over, but some people are funny). If that's the case, we'll offend them by making it clear we aren't interested in further contact and enough will be said. That would be preferable actually.

But given the stories here, I'm also comfy with sticking to my mommy radar on this one. How scary!

We didn't actually go back to the clinic and didn't provide his records to them because I didn't like how badly it's run. It's HORRIBLE...I could fly to alaska for care quicker than get an appointment there (and have done so) so we're going somewhere else.

Rose it would be lovely to be so innocent...adopted or missing family etc. But no, my wonderful mother is clearly my own and my father was unfortunately my own as well. They're not relatives looking for a family.

The room remark could be taken as goofy or as somewhat ok because they have been in the house many times (so no need to push their way into to see it as they've already done so) but given they know it they might have been passingly curious without bad intent...it was just that follow up question about seeing him sleep...who does that?

I'll check out the citydata forum (gad GW has it all LOL) but I have a call into the PO as well. Funny thing...I told the gal we didn't like the clinic and were going elsewhere so she called (left a voicemail) today with a contact name to help me get another appointment or something like that. At least I have the number to block now.

There have been a couple of couples who have gone out of their way to sort of "be" our introduction to the town making a very blatent and annoying effort to ingrate themselves into our lifes. But they're just harmless social climbers (if they knew how low our ladder was they'd be horrified they wasted their time LOL...it's a nice house...but we're boringly normal). They're easily dismissed with a smile and nod when we see them and little else. But they're not wierd, don't try to get to us through our son, and don't drop by anymore :)

I thought the guy who cut down our trees was a little goofy because he had a pistol in the front breast pocket of his overalls....maybe he knows something we don't LOL

Nothing about the behavior you described reads as remotely normal or healthy. At the very least, you don't want your child learning social skills from them!

Trust your gut. Also, don't get backed into anything you don't want to do because you are concerned about being rude.

Here's a little story about how easy it is for normally sensible people to be very foolish. When I was 12, we had a neighbor who was my parents' age and was married to a traveling salesman. She was charming, a bit naive, immature for her age, and clearly lonely. She spent a lot of evenings playing cards with us. We didn't see her as much after she moved a short distance away. One Saturday, we had dinner at her place. She wanted me to spend the night. It wasn't a school night, and to my chagrin my parents agreed. I was stuck and couldn't think of a polite way to decline. Mentioning that the hairs on the back of my neck were standing at attention just didn't seem nice.

The neighbor gave me a lovely set of pajamas. To this day, I believe that it was the first step in "grooming" for molestation. Nothing untoward happened, but my radar was on full alert. I had an exit plan and only pretended to sleep. Obviously, I didn't spend time alone with the neighbor again. Turns out that my parents hadn't liked the setup either and were worried when they got home. I mark that as the point in my life when I decided to trust my gut, even if it means being rude or seeming odd in my own right.

Social climbing in our neck of the woods doesn't usually include a strange couple asking to watch another's child whilst he sleeps. It involves trying to join the right club, attend the right parties, yada yada. Most looking to social climb have enough street smarts not to set off any alarms. Just sayin.

I don't care how big of a deal your house is, there are a lot of people with big deal houses in every state in the U.S. Usually the only thing that changes with the bigger deal house is a bigger income to support the bigger lifestyle. No biggie. The biggie appears from your OP that your radar was going off about your DS and these people?

I would be very surprised if it were that this couple is looking to introduce you to the town. IIRC, didn't you previously live where they may be trying to make an introduction?

Wow yoga. I want to give you a hug for that horrible evening you spent way back when. :( How frightening, but gad you were a smart girl!

WIP I didn't mean to hit a nerve when musing about the social climber thing. I was just thinking out loud about any reason they might have to be making such an effort to push their way into our life. But as a point of fact, I've met some doozies in my life in the social world. And they weren't smart enough to hide their blatent efforts to suck up to the "right people" whoever that might be in their mind :)

My boss once asked me how to deal with a situation involving an ex-employee of my husband's because of the goofy attempts he and his wife were making to "run into" them so often it was freaky. They weren't evil...they just thought somehow if they stalked my boss and his wife long enough, that constant association might lead them up the ladder. Instead it scared the hell out of them cuz they're not big on stalkers (who is!)

Some people make stupid efforts trying to acheive stupid things...somehow ingrating themselves to us by being our son's savior might be their effort, (I'm just trying to put a more innocent spin on this than it feels like at this point ok?) But obviously your hackles are up and for that I appologize .

I don't think they were ingrates because ingrates are folks who are ungrateful.

They were ingratiating themselves because they were trying to gain into favor with someone by flattering or trying to please them.

Either way, it's weird.

These people sound so strange, what grown people would want to see the son sleeping? Anyone in their right mind would know that sounds weird, they can't be that unaware.
Many times couples are arrested for child molestation, which really surprizes me. That is so strange for a woman to be involved in something like that. But of course I shouldn't even suggest that, they could be normal as can be. But that was inapproriate to want to know about playtime and taking a peek, eck!

I wouldn't want to be their friends even if they are normal, not my type of people.

For some reason (and this is silly) but they sound like the couple that lived next door to Rosemary, in Rosemary's Baby. Not cult like, but to pushy and to friendly too soon.

I wouldn't be to nice to them Igloo and maybe they will just go away, watch your son.

igloo - No apologies necessary at all. My hackles are up, but not at the possible appearance of social climbing by this couple. I think you missed my point. My point is that where you are on the social ladder makes no difference when it comes to an unwelcomed/undesirable interest in you or your DH, or even your family as a unit. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end because of the very ~in your face~ interest in your young DS. There are dangerous people on every status level.

I've dealt with many of different types of people over the years who had an interest in being part of our own social circle. However, they don't try to work their way in via my child unless they have a child/children of the same age. They may then see an opportunity to forge a friendship, or get invited as a family or couple, to some social situation they feel you may provide a ticket to. As you posted, you feel that they would be sorely disappointed once they got an up close and personal look at your daily life. Unfortunately, perception of being part of a certain status or social circle, is not a well thought out by someone seeking a certain status or wanting to be part of a certain circle. It's the grass being greener type of thing. People tend to sort of fantisize (not really the right word, but am having menopause brain at the moment) about how their life would be different under a different set of financial or social circumstance. Sadly, that's people who social climb don't see that. Absolutely agreed that not everyone who tries to climb does so subtly, or overtly. Some do so unobtrusively or somewhere in the middle. It sucks when someone is trying to pry their way into your life, albiet if only socially. My point was that it doesn't matter where you are on the social ladder, you have an undesired and unwelcomed couple a bit too interested in your DS regardless of what the reality of it is.

I totally understand you're trying to find an innocent explanation for this couple's weird behavior toward your family, your DS in particular. DH & I would be doing the same thing actually. You don't ever want to believe that someone who has been into your home (invited or not), especially someone who has been introduced by a friend or an a semi-casual aquaintance. We tend to rationalize or put ourselves in the offender(s) shoes. Sort of, well what are they so impressed by, we're just regular ole folks?

My hackles are up at the more than odd interest in your DS. Interest in you and your DH socially is a bit more easily dealt with.

Thanks for explaining WIP :) I wasn't quite getting that (maybe I have a menopause brain as well LOL...no wait it's the brain of a mommy who was up til 3 am with DS).

I am thinking of calling and leaving a voice message on her voice mail basically saying that we'd like them to leave us alone please and leave it at that, but I should do that when more alert ;) I'm not worried about being rude to them, but also don't want crazy's at the door so I want to proceed with caution. They're wierd and frankly, I don't care if it's innocent or not, they're wierd and it feels "not" so I'm going to go with that and try to get rid of them.

I think it's very odd and disturbing, but perhaps it will play itself out and be over and done with.

Personally, I wouldn't give these people another ounce of your energy and thought to even call them and tell them to back off.

If your paths cross again, I would be polite but not friendly, and if they knock on your door, I wouldn't answer. If they mention play dates or any such nonsense, I'd just say your son prefers to play with other little children, and wouldn't really be at all interested in playing with them.

Keep it short, sweet and walk away - they'll get the point without you having to be confrontational. Whether they're just really nice people, or nutcases, you aren't comfortable around them and are not obligated to be friendly other than normal stranger politeness.

I would make sure your house is very secure. I have watched too many Criminal Minds shows to think that is nothing less than predatory/scoping behavior.

I would not call them, because it might lead to other conversations where they try to explain their actions. I would simply avoid situations where you might meet up with them.
If they should again approach the subject of getting to know your son better, I simply would look them in the eye and ask what it is about your son that they find so fascinating and tell them that you find their interest a bit strange.
Let them squirm and don't say another word as you walk away.

I must say I like the "do nothing" idea :) Maybe I'll just leave it that way for now unless I hear something else (we are asking around just in case). I am quite sure though that they will try to make contact but when our PO returns from her trip I'll put a bug in her ear that I'm sure will get back to them and hopefully end all associations with oddballs for now.

Bumble, when we moved here our insurance made us put in a very fancy security system because it had been a B&B and open to the public. I thought it was silly given that we don't have anything that valuable to steel....I guess I was wrong. It's nice to know how good this system is in this case :) I just have to call and get the "shoot oddballs on site" extra feature.... :oP

tee hee Igloo! =)

Just keep an eye on your baby and I would take Mona's advice and leave them alone.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I kept sitting here saying to myself,"maybe this, maybe that..." You don't want to think the worst of someone but this behavior isn't normal. It's sad that there really are creepy people in the world.

I agree with Mona's advice, too. Why open a dialogue with them about it if you don't have to? But . . . if they force the issue, her suggested reply is brilliant and should stop them in their tracks.
Lynn

Main Entry: weird
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: odd, bizarre
Synonyms: awful, creepy*, curious, dreadful, eccentric, eerie*, far-out, fearful, flaky*, freaky, funky*, ghastly, ghostly, grotesque, haunting, horrific, inscrutable, kinky*, kooky, magical, mysterious, occult, oddball, ominous, outlandish, peculiar, preternatural, queer, secret, singular, spooky*, strange, supernal, supernatural, uncanny, uncouth, unearthly, unnatural
Antonyms: normal, regular, usual

From Thesaurus.com

How can these people NOT realize that their behavior is downright creepy? How bizarre are they that they think this is appropriate behavior for whatever they are after - to be your or your son's new BFF.

You are right to avoid them like the plague.

OMG. I am so sorry you have to deal with this and I am absolutely sure you will handle it well. Nothing more to add to all the good advice you have received. Also, kudos to you for giving them the benefit of not being dangerous but just plain stupid.

Take care and make sure you remember all your karate moves.

You already know what I think might be going on; just avoid them - as politely as possible. ;^)

Ahhahaha Kitchen Kelly! Yes, do remember your karate moves!

I ditto what littledog said, ignore as politely as possible. No need to talk to them, confront them, etc. Hopefully they will take the hint.

tina

LOL If I had to learn Karate I believe that the man in this little problem is the local teacher so I'd be kinda screwed there wouldn't I? Just my luck. Maybe I could bore them away with yoga moves???? (Ok I only know one so that could get boring really easily).

I was talking to my mom about this and she knows the woman and thinks that they are trying to take us under their wings like a welfare case. ::Eyes rolling:: NEither myself, DH nor our son needs the help but it feels better than what was going through our head to think they're that way. I'm not sure if my mom wants to have me tell the story about this woman, but she told me about something she did at work and it's clear the woman is beyond socially stupid. (She did something very demeaning to my mother...which frankly makes me dislike her more). Anyhoo, I'm going to use the "why are you so interested in my son" line (thank you) and then dismiss them. We don't need that kind of weird in our life....we have enough already LOL

Tell the story! lol. So your mom worked with her or is it a story she heard from someone else?

I know you just moved there but are you new to the town or did you grow up there?

Is there anyone you can talk to in confidence to give you the scoop on this couple and not blab?

I know it's not funny but they remind me of the old couple stealing from the guests in the movie Dirty Dancing. lol

If they come to the door you need to open it but keep it cracked with your hand firmly on the doorknob. Then you need to tell them tactfully that you don't appreciate these drop-by visits since you all are basically strangers. That should send a hint their way.

That must be reassuring at least to hear that assessment from your Mom( hi themommy1). Slighty stoopid isn't as menacing.

"I was talking to my mom about this and she knows the woman and thinks that they are trying to take us under their wings like a welfare case."

Yes, from what you had posted it did seem like that, hence my feeling that they see themselves as "godparents" or "saviors" in my other post. They may even feel in their minds that your "owe" them because of the favor the woman did. It still is very kooky and you don't need any pests in your life. I would be very annoyed if I were you and it is unfortunate that you have to put effort into thinking up ways to put off these pests. People like this who try to glom onto strangers and become too friendly too fast usually don't have a social group they belong to and are always looking for someone to bond with. They never realize that the very reason they don't have anyone in their sphere is that their overtures are too intense. Once you avoid them for a time, their attention will turn to someone else to pester.

Ok! this is what happened! Back when OR nurses thought they were better that everone, (& equal to Doc's) a male or nurse made some off color remarks to two housekeepers (on a weekend or clean) the girls were very upset, but afarid to speak up. So I went to the person and told her what happened since she was (at that time) director
of nursing. I was not pleased when told "boys are boys" and givin a pat on the head. Then went to union, she was (and the boys also) spoken to . Since then she has always spoken to me with respect and does still to this day when I see her 12 or 15 years later. If you are wondering No she does not know I am Igloo's mom.

I am not following.

This story is about the same woman who pulled the strings to get Igloo's son into the clinic? How does this relate to the interest in the boy?

Dilly, read all of the posts and you'll be able to connect the dots.

Thanks Igloo's mommy! :) But do you or anyone know their "story" which may explain why they want to befriend a small child?

Dilly I didn't know there was a relation either :) She used to manage nursing and my mom worked at the hospital. Because she was once management at the hospital she was able to pull strings for the appointment (the hospital runs the peds clinic here for some gad awful reason). Is that better? LOL

Can you imagine patting the head of another person you work with and saying "boys will be boys?" Sheesh

I still haven't talked to the person who will know their storey oakie. She's been out of town but I'll see her this week. I didn't want to email her about it. Either way, they're oddballs and we're having no part in their world.

Just found this part of the board...sorry haven't read all the posts above...but...

RED FLAGS for sure about these people. Very creepy. I agree, pay attention to your feelings igloo...they are right on.

Some times we worry so much about friendships that we really need to realistically look at them and determine if they are right for us. This friendship does not sound right, I would try to avoid them as much as possible and tell them you don't let your child go off to other homes for play. Stick to your guns, who cares what they think about you...they probably creep other people out too.

OK Update....I was shopping yesterday in a local antique store for a side table that was perfect for a spot in our house...which sold dang it, anyhoo, the local lighting restorer was there and since we have a lot of lighting to restore I waited while he finished with a client and introduced myself. We chit chatted which included a line about how he'd been hoping to meet me as well. I assumed our contractor (who uses him for historic work) had mentioned we were redoing the lighting...but no, he said "Danna said she was going to introduce you to me". Danna being the "can I see him sleeping" portion of the couple. This was a similar line to one I heard the day before at a garden store, again with my good friend Danna wanting to introduce me to them.

So, my diagnosis, Socially akward couple who are desperately trying to pretend or become our "good friends" despite the fact that we don't know them, and now don't want to know them. FREAKS! Maybe not freaky enough to install the AK47 security add on...but still, for gads sake! I'm going to have a couple of my real friends call her instead of doing it myself and explain that we're really not worth the effort LOL

Still DH will go no where near them, but I think they're likely not a freaky child molaster mollester mull hester??? couple, (I should have spent more time in spelling class) but instead just run of the mill dorks instead.

You need to come up with a response line that you give with a quizzical look, such as "Who's Danna?" And then when they explain, make a comment like, "How strange, I barely know that lady."

The word is molester.

Socially awkward for sure. That's a shame some people are that clueless.

I'd do what Graywings just said.

Always always ALWAYS trust your gut/ instinct/ mama intuition/ whatever you wanna call it. It's there for a reason, and the fact that these two are giving both you and your husband the heebie jeebies is a huge sign that you need to get them out of your life.

YIKES.

They could just be very lonely BUT why take the chance? I can't figure out why you seem to attract so many weirdos into your life.

As everyone has said, go with your gut, we need to listen to that little voice we hear called intuition.

There is NO valid reason a stranger would ever want to see a child asleep. period. Even if a grandparent came over, I can't imagine they would ask to see a 4 1/2 year old sleeping, maybe a 4 day old newborn. So why would a stranger.

Besides all the great advice above, make sure to teach your DS to scream "this isn't my mom" or dad, or whatever if they are ever being led away by someone. I found that tip to be so important. I'm sure we have all seen a kid being carried out of Target wailing, but if you teach them to say "this is not my ______" I think someone will respond.

red flags galore. keep them away your son. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

-Bee

They may be socially awkward but they seem to have the clout/connections/money/whatever. Keep them away from your son but try to avoid any drama with her. She seems thrilled to be able to spread good gossip around town. If you have words, offend her, whatever, I'm sure she would be happy to spread lies and vicious gossip too.

She sounds like a typical small town biddy. Just keep your distance and don't give her any fuel for the fire. Eventually she will find something else to latch on too.

She may be wacko or maybe she just wants to be "attached" to the new kid in town. Maybe because she doesn't have many friends or has a hard time making friends. Maybe because she wants to connection to the house itself.

It's like the kid in school that said they were related to (some famous person), but were not. It made them "special" in their mind, so it must make them special to others. Which, in reality, only makes them wackos to everyone. ;D

I just thought of something. Where is that dog of yours? Why isn't he helping out in this situation? I think he needs to step it up.

Graywings...my god you're fabulous. I'm going to use the "who?" line when next their name comes up. So much easier than finally having to say they're goofballs (which I probably wouldn't do but I might not have been as good at coming up with a quick line as you were!) You rock!

But for all, be assured, they will never be in contact with my son. Socially odd...yup, but they still give me the hebbie's so we'll be clear that they are not to be involved with him ever. I've ordered the video above as well (I hope it gets here before we leave but if not we'll see it at home when we return). The only time they've approached me is when I'm outside and away from the house (ie getting out of the car, working in the yard etc). Aside from that odd house visit that was over quickly.

KK LOL THat useless dog is yet another problem. Far too big for mere mortals to solve in these threads!

Once again someone posts excellent advise. Graywings comment is perfect. Plus the message might get back to the folks the next time they see the shopowners.

Either way, ignore and avoid is best. But always keep the radar on. Good that you are being serious but trying to make jokes and such to keep your sanity.

Yay!! Graywings wins the cake!! I agree - she nailed the perfect response.

I logged in here tonight to seek out inspiration for my home office and found this thread.

TRUST YOUR GUT!

Many years ago a newcomer to town befriended my father. He was an older gentleman who talked at length about his family (wife and daughters) back home in California. Lots of money to throw around and before you knew it he was treating dad and I to dinner (my mom worked nights), bringing over pints of ice cream to our house for a treat, buying me stuffed animals, etc. My mom hadn't met the guy, but she had a funny feeling about him. I was all of 8 and I had a funny feeling about him. He'd tell me things like I should always wear dresses, I should hold my cup with both hands when drinking because it made me look cute (I think he was trying to make me appear younger than my 8 years by doing things a smaller child would do), and I should call him Uncle.

We were planning a family vacation and the man (who we knew as John) came over and offered to take me shopping for "vacation clothes". I was at a friends down the street and my mother declined, citing that as an excuse. He offered to go "get me", she declined. He grew argumentative with her for not "allowing him" to treat me to the nice gift of new clothes for our trip, and she tossed him out. She then called the police to make a report. It seems he had shown her family pictures of his wife and girls that were easily taken 20+ years ago and could not possibly be pictures of his real family, if they existed, based on how he had described them to us.

Turns out he was not "John" but Russell Maquire Jr., heir to the Thompson Machine Gun fortune and I was one of 2 girls he had targeted that summer after coming to the area and befriending my family and this other family. He was arrested shortly after for molesting a girl 2 towns over, as shown in this news article I googled online:

....Millionaire Thompson machine-gun heir Russell Maguire Jr has been sentenced to nine years in prison for violating his probation for the fourth time....

...Maguire, 71, has been in and out of the Florida courts, jail and prison since 1984, when he was charged with molesting an 8-year-old girl in Clearwater. Since 1995 he has heen on house arrest in Redington Shores. The house arrest stemmed from the 1984 molestation case....

....Circuit Judge Lauren Laughlin last week found he had violated his house arrest. Maquire had not been receiving his court-mandated psychological counseling, Assistant State Attorney Doug Ellis said. And in May 1996, Ellis said, Maguire violated his house arrest by spending two hours in a grocery store, trying to talk to one underage girl who walked away from him, then blocking a checkout line for 15 minutes to chat with the 16-year-old cashier....

That could have been me, if not for my mom trusting her instincts.

-Colleen

Here is a link that might be useful: News article