mini dry well. not sure the volume of standing water you're dealing with but if you excavate say 6' by 3' by 2' deep, line hole with geo textile fabric, fill 4/5 with clear gravel (3/4"), cover with geo textile fabric top up with decorative river rock or other, grade so that water drains to this area. You could play with it; shape it like a dry creek plant decorative grasses behind, a small boulder or two, ground cover in the front... to make it more appealing and looking like an intentional design. This dry well will essentially act as a natural storage basin taking standing water from the surface where it is a nuisance and a mosquito motel, storing it below the surface from where it will then slowly percolate deeper into the ground. The size of it depends on the amount of standing water you deal with during seasons of heavy rain. Not a small operation necessarily but the only tricky part is disposing of the cut earth you remove from that hole. (Berm up another part of your garden, rent a small dumpster bin?) good luck

I was 27 when I met my now husband, who was 42 at the time. So the ages are similar. He was divorced and had a young daughter. Honestly I realize it was naivete on my part, but his having a daughter was "neat" to me. I had no inkling of how fraught with tension etc. the whole stepchildren issue can apparently be. I'm actually glad now that I was a bit naive, because the daughter and I have, from the get go, had a wonderful relationship. One thing that in hindsight I really appreciate, (because I'm a mom myself now), is that DH waited about 6 months before even introducing the two of us. And even after the introduction, we both made sure dad and daughter had most of their together time by themselves. In other words, just because he was in love with me didn't mean she was expected to be. Another thing I'd like to add.... when I first met DH, I was instantly attracted to his secure sense of self. All the men my age were still trying hard to prove they were the best, clawing their way up the corp. ladder, buying fancy cars and expensive clothes etc. -all trying to fit in and be the best. It was so relaxing and refreshing to be with someone who already knew who he was, and who was past all that preening stage. It is hard to describe, but I so clearly remember noticing it and commenting to friends and family. So your friend may have an advantage he isn't even aware of. Honestly, I think the biggest thing is to get to know HER, and then do thoughtful things that hit the spot because he knows her so well. I've never been a flowers girl, for example. But if a boyfriend made me a CD of all my favorite songs, or bought me a book I had mentioned, etc. -that would go straight to my heart. The other thing I think is that women watch the way their prospective men interact with others, not just her. Do they generally and genuinely act kindly, compassionately and respectfully toward the shop clerk, the waiter, people in line, their grandmother, etc....

I don't think this is an issue that will work out in a relationship. It's not about her being a SAHM, it's about her feeling like he is keeping up his end of things- or at least wanting to. I agree with those who say "forgetting" to register for classes just doesn't happen to someone who wants to finish school. Especially when his job is part time, working too many hours can't be the excuse. It just wasn't important to him, even though he knows it's important to her. He does not want to be the kind of person she wants to be with. When DH and I were college age and dating, he had flunked out of one college and was attending a community college to get an associates degree. I was in college to get a bachelors. I was all of 19 or 20, he is a couple years older than me. But I told him I would not stay with him if he wasn't going to get a 4-year degree, that he needed to enroll somewhere else and start over. My vision of my future life included a husband who finished college. His mom jokes that nothing she said changed his mind about school, but I only had to say that once and he was filling out the papers the next day. ;o) By the time I was 24, we both had our degrees, we were married and buying our first house, and I was a SAHM. We both recall that conversation years ago when I was direct with him. I would not have stayed with him if he had said he didn't want any further education and didn't pursue one. I would have been very disappointed in his lack of goals and plan to reach them. Me saying that at the time only pushed him to do what he wanted, he just needed to know it mattered to someone else, I think. Some people need to feel like they are doing something for someone else instead of for themself, keeps them accountable.

Any advice on how to deal with resentment to husband caused by MIL? This post really resonated with me, although my MIL is a good, kind woman and it sounds like your MIL isn't. As nice as my MIL is, we still have an uneasy relationship. You and your MIL have very different expectations about what your relationship with one another should/will be. She has made it clear she doesn't want the kind of loving family relationship you want. You cannot change that. It doesn't matter how nice you are, how many texts or pictures of the kids you send or anything else you do, you cannot make her like you, love you or want to be around you. Accept that. Your husband can't change that, either. There is absolutely nothing he can say or do to make her love you, like you, or want to be around you. Accept that, too. If your family is abroad and you would like to embrace your husband's family as your own, that is not going to happen. Not because of you, but because they are not that kind of family. They aren't going to help you, call you, keep in touch with you, and your husband cannot make them. Accept that. Develop other close family-like friendships so you will have a network of support, but don't look for a support network from your husband's family. There are probably other people in your area who have no family or a dysfunctional family and would love to have close family-like ties with friends. Stop worrying about what she wants the kids to call her and whether or not she tries to manipulate the kids by sending gifts. Let her send all the gifts she wants. Kids love their moms. Stop worrying about what your MIL tells the rest of the family about you. Your MIL sounds creepy, selfish and mean and the rest of the family probably knows how she is. If she's been that way toward you, she's been that way toward other people, too. Stop making little digging comments to your husband about your MIL. If he comes home and tells you she said hi, just let it roll off your back. That doesn't mean you should never discuss your feelings or concerns with him, just don't make a lot of little digging comments. Save your discussion for when it really matters, then sit down sometime when you aren't angry and have a calm discussion. She is your husband's mom. He loves her very much, regardless of her faults. Trying to get him to include you in their phone calls, emails and texts is a losing battle, I think. If you keep insisting, what you will probably accomplish is that he will talk to her just the two of them anyway and he will stop mentioning it to you. She sounds like a mean and unpleasant person, so really, this works out great for you to not even have to talk to her. This problem is between you, your husband, and your MIL. Don't drag the kids into it, don't encourage them to ignore your MIL or treat her badly. In time your children will notice things for themselves. It sounds like they won't see her often, anyway, and it sounds like she's not really a kid person, anyway. Counseling would help you sort out what expectations are reasonable and what aren't. Having said all that, my husband would never in a million years scream at me, shake me or call me names. Please get some counseling so you can get some perspective on this. Your family is abroad, you sound isolated, make sure you build some ties with friends in the area. Keep your job skills current and make sure you have all the tools you need to become independent if you want to or need to do that. Best of everything to you and your little family.