He can do the Xbox thing at his bachelor's party. Why separate the wedding guests into different groups? Just my opinion.

pesky I think that's a great idea - and it shows the kind of MIL you intend to be by taking his feeling into account. It's doubtful that he and his friends will spend all their time away from the rest of the 'doings' but it will be nice for them to know they have an escape route! And I'm willing to bet, there will be girls, parents and grandparents popping in and out of your game room. He'll remember your effort long after that cake knife is buried in a drawer and forgotten!

oops - neglected to say, best wishes to your daughter and SIL2b.

I think it's a nice thought too. Many men feel the same as your future SIL and don't understand all the fuss, etc. The last couple of formal weddings we've attended, I've heard BOTH the bride and groom wonder why they just didn't elope. LOL It can be a bit nerve wracking. Is your daughter set on that type wedding? If it is what she wants, then of course that is what she should have, after all, it is her day. If she's not set on that though, perhaps a service that *meets in the middle* for the two of them?

Whatever they decide, best wishes for a long and happy marriage. Good luck to you also Pesky, with all the planning.

tina

Don't do it!...

Yes, the young men would escape, and you'd have two parties (one of them likely loud and obnoxious) and lots of grousing by the dressed-up-and-ditched women (possibly even including the bride) to their guys later on. That's exactly what happened at (and after) my brother's wedding reception when our football team ended up in the playoffs.

There are lots of other ways to show your 'cool' side -- like maybe doing that during a shower or for the rehersal dinner. You could also have some 'guy food' at the reception -- maybe one buffet table that's a little more casual off to one side, one that's more 'frou frou' onthe other side? Or make the music more upbeat and fun, less stuffy?

I always thought one of the nicest things about weddings was seeing all of the young men dressed nicely and behaving civilized, and I'd hate to lose that. But then, I guess I may have crossed the line into Fogey-hood...

I think it's a wonderful gesture on your part, but I hope you don't actually do it. Xbox shouldn't be part of a wedding reception even if it was at someone's house. Xbox is very limited to two people interacting with a TV, not reception guests.

I think he can make it through a 5-6 hour evening dancing with a band and having a nice dinner - without XBox.

But, I sortof agree with him, what is she ever going to do with a sterling silver cake server? Maybe the compromise is you have the nice downtown wedding venue but make the decorations, food, drinks a bit more casual. Have a margarita machine, or a beer tasting area.

Make sure the band is fun and plays current music - having a great band makes or breaks most receptions I've been to.

I wouldn't do it -- He has his whole life to play Xbox w/ his buddies, and only 1 day to be married to the love of his life. She doesn't need the distraction. Wedding is as stressful as it is on the bride. I have kids playing Xbox & guitar heroes and do you know how noisy & crazy it can be, especially when 'kids' are grown men who have been drinking. I don't think that would mix well w/ organza & wine.

My BiL is getting married in August too and I'm in charged of doing the flowers & decorate the reception. :-D

I love weddings! :D

Oh, interesting thoughts! My DD is determined that the reception be fun. She told the DJ (they didn't want a band) that they will be having kareoke (how do you spell that??) and we're considering having a photo booth, like they have at fairs.

My DD wants this to be a reflection of them...and they both are big on the Guitar Hero/Rock Band thing. I was thinking that could be brought out later in the evening, after the dinner & cake.

Nothing about this wedding is going to be formally traditional. My DS is one of the brides attendants, she wanted to have her dogs as the flower girls (luckily the venue won't allow pets). She wants the affair to feel like the wedding Carrie & Big were going to have in S&TC.

You have to realize, my DD has full sleeve tattoos. She's an uber-creative soul, and he's a very quirky guy. It's going to be FABULOUS!!!

It sounds wonderful! I don't see why weddings have to be so stiff and formal. It sounds like it will be a lot of fun, and more importantly, a reflection of the bride and groom's personalities. How fun!

Well it sounds like they are planning a fun creative wedding. I guess you threw me for a loop when you said

"My DD2 is getting married in October, and is starting to come down with the case of panics. She's discovered her DH2B just doesn't understand why a sterling silver cake server is needed!! (His Aunt wants to get them one). She says he'd be happy with getting married at the Courthouse and then a reception of beer & Nintendo. Naturally, the wedding is going to be a formal one in a gorgeous ballroom overlooking downtown."

This sounded like a formal wedding to me! But it sounds like she knows what she wants, so I wouldn't worry. I should be alot of fun!

sounds like fun, keep us posted !!

I read it as a formal event (organza & crystal in ballroom). but if this is going to be a fun event, go for it.

This was the line that threw me off: She's discovered her DH2B just doesn't understand why a sterling silver cake server is needed!!

It sounds like it will be much a more fun wedding than the stuffy, formal same old, same old. If the couple will really have no future use for a sterling silver cake server, you might suggest that they borrow one instead. It can be much more interesting to tell people they are using the server (or similar formal ware) from Aunt Rita and Uncle Henry's 1957 wedding. Reuse, recycle, redefine.

-Lena

Gosh, that's a wedding reception I'd love to attend! Sounds like it's going to be lots of fun. My DH and I were married in a nice but informal ceremony performed by a one-armed minister in our little living room, and we were anxious for the reception to be over so we could change into our jeans and go see Primus in concert. Yep - it was fun and quite memorable!
;-D

I watch a lot of wedding shows, and have seen that stuff like this can be done; and people will not spend the whole night in there playing; and the event can still be formal depending on how it's all done to begin with.

Pesky, do you guys have a wedding planner?
Do you guys watch the wedding shows?
If not and you need ideas, I can probably try to figure out what show I saw this on.

The wedding day is about the bride & groom. If this will make both of them happy, then that's what they should do. Most young adults that age are into that.. my 24 year old son can sit in his room and play his Xbox all day. His GF can do the same. I wouldn't doubt they'd do something similar if they got married.

When DH & I were married 26 years ago (it doesn't feel like that long . . . except that our DS will be 25 in a few months!), we had an mid-afternoon reception at the country club for 90 guests. It was mid-January and the room had huge windows overlooking a snowy golf course and tall pine trees~ gorgeous! We had a huge amount of elegant, yummy, hot & cold hd's, a champagne fountain, an open bar and a pianist who played wonderful Cole Porter (and the like) music throughout the reception. It was romantic, beautiful. . . and one-third of the males ended up in the bar watching a sports event on tv! It brought me to tears and my sweet dad went and had the bartender turn off the tv. There was some mild grumbling that Dad took care of calmly and we all enjoyed our wedding reception TOGETHER after that.

My point is, this is one very special day in your DD's life. It's only a few hours and will probably be costing somebody a bundle. Keep it special without the video games. The gamers can all go home afterwards and do their thing if they choose. Heck, the bride & groom can go with them! But a wedding reception, IMO, is too special to waste it playing video games.
I'm assuming that there will be guests invited that don't enjoy that kind of thing? Older aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends? If I were one of those guests, I'd be offended ~and bored~ with half the wedding party off in another room playing video games. JMHO
Lynn

Hey, I can't see the point of a silver cake server either. Somehow I've managed to serve a lot of cake without one, and it would be just one more piece of clutter cramming my kitchen cabinets (actually to be honest I would have sloughed it off years ago). If there isn't one borrow-able from a family member the catering company or the hotel will have a fancy server for the cake-cutting ritual. Trust me, the caterers or hotel staff are not going to use it to cut the cake up for serving - they'll be going at it back in the kitchen with real knives. BTDT.

When DH and I were married, we had an extremely small budget but DH's family was quite adamant that we get properly married in church (and we were ruthless in paring the guest list down to 55, had it been up to them there would have been 250!). We eliminated a lot of "wedding magazine musts" that we thought were pointless and usually big wastes of money and the Wedding Police did not arrest us for doing so. We skipped the dancing because neither my father nor I could do so (he was an amputee and I was doing well to stay standing up at that point, I actually had to sit down through most of the actual ceremony) so that would have been very awkward, and we were actually very pleased that the parish hall's insurance did not permit serving alcohol because that cut costs a great deal and we would not have to deal with drunk guests and even worse drunk driving.

I'll admit I can see a big TV and video game unit being rolled into one end of the ballroom after the cake and a dancing period and time to circulate and chitchat, and the B&G (still in meringue-gown and tux) giving the guests a Guitar Hero serenade. But then, several of my friends are hugely into Guitar Hero/Rock Band and that's what they'd do, and then they'd start inviting people to play with them (the new version of Guitar Hero, coming out 9/1/09 - just in time for them to start practicing! - is a four-player format) and sing along and cheer a good performance. Why can't a formal wedding reception turn into a heckuva party, anyway? Who says it has to stay all within the wedding books' notion of "romantic"? Why can't the groom's interests (especially since they ARE shared by the bride) be considered instead of pushing him into the standard artificial self-propelled-tuxedoed-mannequin groom role he doesn't seem to be happy about just so some great-auntie isn't offended? It's not great-auntie's wedding. It's B&G's wedding and G matters as much as B does. (And goodness knows great-auntie will probably have enough to chew on with all the tattoos anyway, since the B doesn't sound like the type to wear long opaque sleeves and high necks to hide them. LOL) People will be talking about that wedding long after the details of a more generic wedding have faded into a blur.

I do like the idea of a beer (and perhaps wine) tasting bar, maybe instead of the standard hard-liquor bar. It'd likely be cheaper and probably fewer people would get wasted. (If one can't make it through a few hours without a hard-liquor drink, even with annoying relatives around, one has a problem.) Have they considered doing a double cake - one traditional froufrou cake and one fun-and-funky one like they do on the Food Network show Ace of Cakes? It seems like it would fit their personalities.

Oh this wedding is going to be a blast. It's definitely an organza and crystal thing. But with a big twist.

We're having beer & wine only, and a catered buffet...originally the kids wanted pizza as their dinner, but I convinced them that Dad & I would pay for catering, so we're having a pasta bar instead. The kids are paying for part, DH & I part and G's parents part...so we kind of all get a say in how things will be.

DD definitely wants glamour, but kickiness too. I think his family is a little more traditional...but his folks have come to accept that DD is a bit, well, creative, and their son is crazy about her.

No wedding planner...mainly me and DD...and she's deferring the logistics to me. I should have been a set decorator...I LOVE the idea of pulling this event together.

As far as the cake goes...not sure what the final plan is. She's got a few ideas, but we've got the cake folks lined up. Officiant, DJ, caterer, tuxes, wedding gown, MOB dress, 2 of the bridesmaids dresses, inivitations and the wedding/reception site are squared away. She's working on the photographer, and save the dates. They just got their passports done, and will be meeting with someone to help them plan their honeymoon (Ireland).

We're finalizing the decor theme, and then I'm out shopping for stuff for the decor. We're also considering a candy bar with a pharmacy theme...they're both fans of candy, so that could be fun, too.

Here is a link that might be useful: This is some of the inspiration for the wedding

Pesky, it sounds like you and your DD have things well in hand. Reading the many posts here, it's obvious that we all have our own ideas of the "Best" type of wedding reception. From my own ideal of a classy, elegant but intimate reception to one where everyone's in jeans with a beer and BBQ feast. To each his ~ & her~ own . . . and all are equally right if the B&G are happy with the choices. In my mind, it's a one & only (I'm a romantic, what can I say?), very special day to remember and record for you, your future children and grandchildren. It's what makes you happy. I'll be anxious to hear more details of your DD's wedding plans as they evolve.
Lynn
P.S. My DH was a pharmacist for a number of years before he decided to go to med school, and I think the pharmacy candy theme for a dessert table is unique and cute . . . and would be really appreciated by their guests!