Amy, just saw this thread (I was out of town last week). What a devastating thing. I can only imagine what your DD was telling herself about having said she was too busy to talk. The teen years seem like a psychological obstacle course kids have to go through to get to the other side, and not all kids make it, which is nausea and vertigo inducing when I let myself think about it as a mother. And even beyond the highly dramatic teen years, it's still difficult...I remember when I was breaking up with a longtime boyfriend and even though *I* was the one doing the breaking up, I thought "I have no idea who I am without him" and thought there was no future for me, whatever 'me' was. I thought part of "me" was being X's girlfriend, and without that part I was nothing (we'd been together since high school, and this was last year of grad school--in theatre, btw...). A friend, also in theatre, told me that there is simply no logical reason to assume the suffering of now is what will be happening forever, that is *always* a way out to a new start, even if it means the Peace Corps, or Ditching It All and traveling, or whatever. His statement was so straightforward and undramatically rational it struck me right between the eyes and knocked a new perspective into my brain. (Almost like the psychologist seeing the Australian woman who has fear of flying in the old SNL skit, not to reduce it to comedy or anything, but the feeling was similar.) As you can tell, I've never forgotten what he said and it still serves as a kind of touchstone for me to judge the permanence of any negative situation and get a realistic hold on it even through any possible drama. Maybe it doesn't make much sense hearing it second hand, but it helped me and still does, so I thought I'd share it. It relates to parma's "permanent solution to a temporary problem" line. Teens and young adults have no real experience of the passing nature of everything in our lives...all the power to make big life-affecting actions, but no perspective. Anyway, I notice you haven't posted for several days now, I guess since the funeral...when you are inclined, please post how you all are doing now. I'll be thinking of you and DD.

Yes, LOL the title of the post made me go WHAT??? and the go that's gotta be a hoax. But in fairness, the headline on the article was extremely poorly worded, albeit not unusual for the source. I suspect tabloid sensationalism. The main point to me though is that Cerniglia was on the show 3 years ago! For the sake of argument let's say he did get upset with being told he's running things into the ground. It took 3 *years* for it to be the last straw? Nothing happened in between to make him jump? I doubt it. Rachel's death came a year at least after being on Hell's Kitchen for what, only 4 or 5 episodes? I'm sure there's other shows whether they be Orca Windbag, Dr. Fail, Springer's Trailer Trash Tryouts or any number of shows where people have committed suicide sometime after their appearance and nobody suggests a connection to them. Suicide happens. Unfortunate, but it does. Some examples: ⢠Ryan Alexander Jenkins, a former participant on VH1 reality series "Megan Wants a Millionaire" and "I Love Money," was found dead in a Canadian motel room amid allegations that he had earlier murdered his ex-wife in a most gruesome way. ⢠Paula Goodspeed killed herself in front of Paula AbdulâÂÂs house after she was bounced from auditions on "American Idol.â â¢ Growing Pain's "Boner" committed suicide in a Park. ⢠Cheryl Kosewicz, killed herself after being bounced from the show âÂÂPirate MastersâÂÂ. Her suicide happened just two months after Kosewicz's boyfriend, Ryan O'Neil, committed suicide himself. I won't go on but âÂÂSupernanny", "Wife Swap", "The Contender", âÂÂCelebrity Big Brotherâ and more shows have had people commit suicide after their appearances. Anyone who watches his shows closely should see that Ramsay is a very caring and compassionate person. He harps on people to do their best but when someone is really down, he really tries to build them up. What's the first thing he does when the winner of Hell's Kitchen walks through the door? Every time I've see him grab the loser before the other is through the door and console them, tells them how well they performed and the like. Lost in the kerfuffle is that Ramsay and Cerniglia have stayed in touch since the show. I suspect people don't understand that these shows are edited. There's hours upon hours of tape cut down to a 20-30 minute show run in 1/2 hr to an hour. The editors control what you see and you need to be careful about how you base your opinions from that limited info. I went back and watched that episode again. Cerniglia is a person who probably would have been far better being an employee than a boss. He stressed out very easily at least at the time. And watching the way Ramsay handled his wife was very heartwarming, though not unusual. Here is a link that might be useful: Campania episode of Kitchen Nightmares

Terri Gross interviewed songstress Carol King on her radio program the other day and played a snippet of her “Up On The Roof”. When I heard James Taylor sing, “When this old world starts getting me down…” I got the pre-cry lump in the throat, but that was it. I’m going to have to pound harder to get through. Maybe it was for the better as I was driving to work at the time. Work is critical coping for non-criers. Don’t be too hard on us, please. I wouldn’t get to cry and drive simultaneously until yesterday when I picked up Andrew’s older sister and her family in my rented minivan for the drive from Indiana to the Michigan memorial. Rei has a spectacular voice and can have me weeping with her rendition of “Part of Your World” (Disney’s ‘Little Mermaid”, go figure.) so you could imagine what she and daughter Sophie, 17, did to Uncle Joe with an hour or more of Pentatonix blasting through the speakers. In the rear view mirror, I watched Sophie rock in her seat as she sang. Like she did as a toddler. A sight Andrew will never get to see again. Ooo that stings. Nicely. My parents weren’t going to allow me to view my brother’s body, thinking it too traumatic. When I told them I would see my brother’s body if I had to break into the funeral home to do so, they relented. I have been comforted by my visual confirmation of his death for 46 years and was hoping for a repeat. Fortunately, my sister-in-law Dawn, Andrew’s mom, let me, Rei, and Sophie see him, as there was no open casket. Rei wailed and her knees buckled, but we got her a chair just in time. Don’t I wish.

Usually the home equity loan would be paid off at the time of purchase by the title company who was doing all of the paperwork, and a title company would do a search for any liens and guarantee a clean title. The auction documents should reveal liens. Depending on how the auction works, you might owe the auction price plus the liens, or the liens may be paid out of the sale proceeds. You may be able to ask a title company to do a search so you have outside confirmation of any other liens, or they may be searchable at the county office. If you buy, you might be able to ask the city/county to have the address changed if there are any unused address numbers for that section of road. (Meaning not all sequential numbers have been used) so that an address search does not bring up the negative history. A friend of ours bought a house after a suicide. The house was on the market longer, and the price was lower than other houses that were similar. Nothing creepy happened while they lived there. I am not sure I would have bought it. I think a prior owner of my house may have died of cancer here. I did not specifically ask. But I know he died while he owned the house. It was 2 owners ago. lafdr