Suicide is so painful for family and friends. You have so many questions. Why...why...why. Yet the only one with answers is gone. One of my sisters took her own life some 15 years ago and wr still ask...why. I feel so bad for you Joe...as I know you too are asking thay question. Just hold everyone close. Love them. Forget the....why. hugs

Sending my heartfelt condolences. He was much too young to leave this life and so much sadness behind. (((((HUGS)))))

Such sadness. Please accept my condolences.

I am so sorry for your loss. Such a terrible way to lose someone.

My deepest sympathy for the whole family at this very sad time.

Joe I am so very sorry for the loss of your nephew. He sounds like he was a remarkable young man. I pray for the day we can effectively treat depression and stop losing our people to this illness. Prayers.

So sad, my condolences.

So sorry for your loss.

My condolences on your, and his immediate family's loss.

Joseph, I am so sorry for your family's devestating loss. I have been touched by the tragedy of suicide, as have so many others. Keep your family close.

Caring thoughts going out to the whole family...I've been through that, too.

(((Joseph and all those who surround your nephew)))

So truly sad. Please accept my condolences.

Thoughts with you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy.

I am so sorry for the loss of your nephew, it must just be overwhelming.

Such a tragic loss. All my sympathy to you and your family.

Such a sad loss. I am sorry.

What a horrible tragedy for your family. You must have almost choked when you typed the title of the thread. Many of us cannot even imagine the emotional pain which brought this successful young man to leave his life. I extend deepest condolences to you and your family, and also to those here such as Carol who have had this devastating event in their lives. I wish you all peaceful hearts and am very sorry.

Much sympathy and caring thoughts are being sent to you and your family.

I'm so sorry Joseph. I remember your posts about how much you care for the youngsters in your family. I can't imagine your heartbreak.

I'm so sorry.

Take care of yourself, & your dear ones.

Terrible shock! I'm so sorry that you had to lose him, and to lose him this way.

Joe, I'm so sorry to hear that. My sincerest condolences.

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. That's a tough one to take - for anyone. Since we don't "walk in each other's shoes", I don't think anyone can really understand why people feel that suicide is the only way to deal (or not deal) with life. So sad. Prayers.

I am so sorry to read this. You have been there for so many of us. I hope we can be there for you during this terrible time.

The saddest part is that the family and friends left behind are so bewildered.

The pain and sorrow that emanate from suicide spread like ripples in a body of water that has no end. I am so sorry for his family and friends and hope they can walk through this with grace, courage and understanding.

Thank you for sharing this story of your great loss, Joseph.

I offer my condolences to you and to all who loved him.

What a tragic loss of a person of great capacity, achievement, service and potential, who could have provided even greater service and healing to this troubled old world .... had he been able to find healing for himself.

And what a deeper tragedy that he felt that he had to carry whatever burdens he had alone, and wasn't able to share their load, or what they appeared to him to be.

It's such a deep, additional tragedy that so many former military people have been similarly unable to find a means to clear the residual demons from the horrible experiences in their past.

(((((Joseph, family and loved ones)))))

ole joyful

I am so sorry for your loss.

Joyful guy said it the best. Prayers being said for your nephew. His journey may have been short but his life impacted so many people. Any service man is a cut above the rest and deserves the highest respect.

Well said Joyful..

I am so sorry for your loss.

Very sorry for you and your family's loss.

Sending my sympathy for such a sad loss.

Sending prayer for your family.

omg. so terribly sorry for your loss...I hope that one of these days people will understand the need for mental health...a past gov here in mi defunded and closed many centers...

I am so sorry. I understand that on average 22 servicemen commit suicide every day.

Sending heartfelt condolences.

Perhaps some of you will look at this site I'm involved! Peyton heart project

Terri Gross interviewed
songstress Carol King on her radio program the other day and played a snippet
of her “Up On The Roof”. When I heard James Taylor sing, “When this old world starts getting me down…”
I got the pre-cry lump in the throat, but that was it. I’m going to have to
pound harder to get through. Maybe it was for the better as I was driving to
work at the time. Work is critical coping for non-criers. Don’t be too hard on
us, please.

I wouldn’t get to cry
and drive simultaneously until yesterday when I picked up Andrew’s older sister
and her family in my rented minivan for the drive from Indiana to the Michigan
memorial. Rei has a spectacular voice and can have me weeping with her
rendition of “Part of Your World” (Disney’s ‘Little Mermaid”, go figure.) so
you could imagine what she and daughter Sophie, 17, did to Uncle Joe with an
hour or more of Pentatonix blasting through the speakers. In the rear view
mirror, I watched Sophie rock in her seat as she sang. Like she did as a
toddler. A sight Andrew will never get to see again. Ooo that stings. Nicely.

My parents weren’t
going to allow me to view my brother’s body, thinking it too traumatic. When I
told them I would see my brother’s body if I had to break into the funeral home
to do so, they relented. I have been comforted by my visual confirmation of his
death for 46 years and was hoping for a repeat. Fortunately, my sister-in-law
Dawn, Andrew’s mom, let me, Rei, and Sophie see him, as there was no open
casket. Rei wailed and her knees buckled, but we got her a chair just in time.
Don’t I wish.

I met Sara, Andrew’s
ex-girlfriend, at the memorial. It took great courage for her to attend and
words cannot express my gratitude. Some old friends of mine came; tragedy
apparently severs estrangement. I sobbed when they showed. Finally. Like Andrew’s
organ donations, I’m searching for every possible good thing that could come
from this. Teary eyed, I introduced myself to several tables of Andrew’s
friends, mostly computer geek guys like he was. They are bright shiny stars and
so was he. Some folks brought infants, bringing home the comforting circle of
life idea.

Rei, looking spent,
told me she was ready to go about 45 minutes before it ended, but I didn’t mind
leaving. I had what I came for and it was time for the hotel with the pool that
I had promised. The kids squealed and shivered last night, I type this morning,
and life goes on.

very poignantly said and a great tribute Joseph. I weep with you.

Joe- I'm glad you were able to get some closure and spend some time with family. It is exhausting but also, in a way, restorative.

So many cleary cared for Andrew and your family.

Go spend some time next to that pool yourself if you have a chance. You need it.

So sorry to hear this. What a terrible loss.

Oh I am so sorry...you and your family have my deepest sympathy. I had a 30 year old nephew who also shot himself....what a shock! No one knew how deep his depression was. Many hugs!

so, so sorry for your loss and sadness....sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family....

I am sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. We need to take better care of our service men.

cacocobird:

Andrew was upset that out of 100 Marines stationed in Okinowa, Japan, he and one other guy were sent back to the states for the rest of their tour when everyone else was sent to Iraq where war was raging. He fixed cannons in California and never saw combat. We were relieved beyond belief.

About 22 veterans commit suicide each day. The VA seemed very attentive to him after his troubles started. I'll bet there are cancer wards that lose fewer people than the psych ward at a VA hospital. I don't know how they do it.