Ladies: when a man cooks for you...

gardenguru1950

16 years ago

What makes it a perfectly romantic meal?

We're talking food and cooking here, so don't get distracted.

Thanks,

Joe

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Comments (54)

wizardnm
16 years ago
Fresh flowers and candles does the trick for me...

Nancy
centralcacyclist
16 years ago
You're all ingrates! LOL!

If the right man made me a PB&J on a paper plate, I'd be thrilled.

Dateless in California...
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How exciting! My DH grew up in another country and they didn't have a car and they don't date over there, so opening car doors wasn't something he knew how to do. When I met him, he didn't drive, so I was always driving. He has always opened doors for me (or any woman). I get annoyed when my DH holds the door open for another woman and she sails through without so much as a thank you. I generally say loudly, "YOU'RE WELCOME". He doesn't have to do if for anyone else, but some women feel it is their right and don't bother saying thank you. Glenda, I am wondering about his lady friend, though. Does she live in the same condo place you do? Maybe you'll become his lady friend.... :) P.S. My mother was 6 years older than my father and they were together 39 years until her death at 66.
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It's really a question of being outnumbered and in a poor defensive position. You're in your kitchen. The scallops are searing on one burner, the miso-mirin sauce is reducing on another, shao mai is steaming on a third, and you've just slipped the fish under the broiler. Suddenly, over your shoulder, you see three hulking, menacing, shadowy figures enter your kitchen. Your chest tightens and your blood freezes with fear. They come closer. You're trapped in the corner. One is brandishing something menacing. They leer. Another one moves to grab you. It's auntie Miriam and her deadly fruitcake, cousin Rose ''The Huggy One'', and the muscle behind them is in-law What's-His-Face. You wave your wooden spoon, distract them with desperate words, twist and dart, but you can't leave your food. The fish starts smoking, the sauce goes solid, and the scallops are turning to rubber. You shriek. ''My baby! Don't hurt my baby!''. Too late. Rose pins you down, Miriam forces fruitcake in your hands, and you hear, as if in a nightmare, Whats-His-Face intone, ''I think something's burning. Can I help?'' What you needed was time, and help. If you could have taken shelter behind an island, or a timely flambe. Or retreated into a narrow aisle where they were unable to surround you. That would have bought you time to send your telepathic Bat-signal. The Caped Crusader would have dropped into that grim tableau, dispensed cocktails and light patter from his Bat-belt, and ushered Auntie Miriam, Rose, and their henchman to jail, where they'd be forced to nibble at the crudités platter until dinner. I have a bit of a defensive table. More important, I have SWMBO, who even wears a cape sometimes, and was apparently born to socialize. She gets me out of some tight spots. Unless she is distracted and leaves me defenseless. The other problem is that sometimes she becomes my tormentor, getting in my way as badly as any guest. It is jolting, like Batman showing his dark side. But I guess that hint of darkness is what makes him sexy - that and the codpiece. Are Miriam and Rose and their helpful hands ever welcome? Never. By the time the guests arrive, I've done all the chopping, slicing, and mixing. Or should have done. The only reason an onion is being diced at the cooking stage rather than already being in a little glass prep bowl, is because I forgot. Which which case, I need that onion diced right [deleted] NOW! not to run around finding Miriam a cutting board, a little bitty knife, a towel, her reading glasses, lotion for her hands, and cement to reattach her hairpiece that was dislodged by my swearing. Absent those embarrassing lapses, I'm going to be cooking, not prepping, when guests arrive. About that cooking. Naturally, anything that can be cooked ahead, already has been. There's no need for help making the soup, or assembling the salad, or chilling the custard. That all got done hours ago. We'll be down to stuff that is time-sensitive. When the scallops are seared, it wants to be served right away, not after it's cooled to rubber. Ditto the fish, before its cold and limp, the shao mai, before its dry and stiff. So I dont have time for help, and won't have a chance for a do-over. So, even if I had the room, I wouldn't want help. There are exceptions. For SWMBO's birthday dinner I made way too many dishes, had two portable burners set up because I was out of range burners, and 30 minutes before dinner I was, as they say, ''dans la merde''. I asked my friend to help out by making the hollandaise. He is a good cook, knew exactly what to do, zero instructions. That was a lifesaver. But for the most part, when the thugs - sorry, guests - arrive, I am at the crucial stage of something I've been working on for 3 to 4 hours. I am hot, sweating, my leg hurts, I've already messed something up, I may be drunk. All I want is for one low-maintenance friend, maybe I.M. or Mrs. M or Dr C.K., to accept a pour of scotch and chat for a bit, maybe hang out, over there and not over here. I know, it sounds misanthropic, and it is. Cooking for dinner parties is definitely not one big happy family affair, here. Maybe if my kitchen was bigger than everyone else's master bathroom, I'd be less of a grouch.
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diana55
16 years ago
the question is "When"? I will starve to death waiting. I guess thats what restuarants are for. LOL
jcrowley99
16 years ago
I must be easy, I am thrilled when my husband brings home take out Chinese! But then, I love Four Happiness and BBQ Pork! I always tell my husband the most romantic gesture he could make would be to wash the dishes for me! That hasn't happened yet.

If you know what she likes that is fabulous. I don't think you need to go over the top. If her favorite meal is Spaghetti, make that. And have her favorite dessert too. Some pretty flowers (not necessarily roses, whatever her favorites are) won't hurt. You might have guessed the key here. It is all about her, making her favorites shows how much you care, and how well you know her. Caring enough to know what a woman really likes, That is Romantic!
bob411
16 years ago
Just bake her these cookies. They are very easy to make, and it is unbelievable how much women love these cookies, and how much they appreciate me for making them. One said they were "little bits of heaven".

Here is a link that might be useful: Recipe
fenworth
16 years ago
Having a man just cook or clean up is romantic? Sometimes I wish DW would read this forum. Next month we'll celebrate our 9 year "dating anniversary." I'm close to running out of fingers counting the times she's cooked for me.
nancylouise5me
16 years ago
I guess I'm spoiled. Wayne does the majority of the cooking when he gets home from work. I bake lots and do some cooking but he enjoys it...so I let him. lol
When we have a romantic meal it usually is veal normandy. I love that dish. I set the table with the good china and crystal. Candles and bubbly, soft music in the background (michael buble has a very romantic voice). Doesn't get any better then that. NancyLouise
khandi
16 years ago
Here's a really romantic dessert and very good!

Chocolate Whip

1 tsp butter
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 tsp granulated sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 tsp cornstarch
6 Tbsp milk

Topping

2 tsp Kahlua liqueur
1/3 cup frozen whipped topping, thawed (Cool Whip)

Measure first 5 ingredients into a blender. Set aside.

Stir cornstarch into milk in small saucepan. Heat and stir until boiling and thickened. Add to blender. Process until pureed.

Pour into 2 custard cups (or martini glasses). Chill.

Topping

Spoon 1 tsp Kahlua over each custard cup. Add whipped topping.
gardenguru1950
Original Author
16 years ago
CHOCOLATE WHIP!!!!!

Criminies. I told you ladies not to get distracted.

Joe
teresa_nc7
16 years ago
Sorry, but the chocolate chip cookies wouldn't do it for me.

To really impress me, show me that some thought and planning went into your meal: a slow cooked sauce, a nice presentation, chilled salad plates, an appetizer before, etc. Does not have to be fancy but something to show that you didn't just throw it together in 15 minutes.

To really seal the deal - have me taste something from a fork or spoon in your hand.....or just a bite from your impeccably clean fingers. "Do you think this needs salt?"
msafirstein
16 years ago
Joe cooked dinner every night for years and although Joe is a good cook, he does not set a good table. So for me a beautifully set table complete with wine and candles now that is what I call romantic!!

I like rock and roll so the Stones playing in the background would be nice. And for dessert, something gooey with warm chocolate and a good cup of coffee.

Then for after dinner drinks Grand Marnier in a warm glass.

With all this...OH MY...it would be perfection for me!!

Michelle
DYH
16 years ago
We had friends over recently and one fellow (in his 50s) has a new ladyfriend. She told us how romantic it was when our friend took her out to lunch. Then, in the car outside her office, he pulled out a cooler with his homemade creme brulee, used the torch and voila! She said it was the most romantic thing a man had every done for her!

My DH is wonderful with the grill, but his idea of a romantic dinner is to take me to a truly glorious restaurant. However, he has taken me on a picnic in a beautiful setting on a trip to Italy. He picked up wine, bread, cheese, olives and panini and that was just perfect.

Cameron
Marigene
16 years ago
If he also does all of the clean-up and dishes!
mer4205
16 years ago
My late dh was a wonderful cook...I remember one meal he made when we were dating that was fabulous - lamb chops served with sauteed baby vegetables and chocolate mousse for dessert. It was really impressive that he used the baby vegetables..,This was the first time that he had cooked for me - and over time - he made many great meals for me...-maria
jakkom
16 years ago
going out to a restaurant without having my MIL along (who lives with us, yes) is romantic enough for me!
earthlydelights
16 years ago
he does all the shopping for the groceries

he plans the meal

he does all his own prep work

he does the chopping and slicing and dicing

he knows what he's doing in the kitchen

his knives are sharp

he is in an apron

he's picked just the right dinner music

he shushes you away from the kitchen because for tonight it's his domain

he sets the table -- you know it's going to be really something when the tablecover comes out and the candles get lit!!!!

he serves the food

he clears it all away

he either does the dishes or soaks them for later because there's other things to be done

he sets the tone of the evening

then there are those evenings that it's a recreation of the kitchen scene from 9 1/2 weeks!!!!

enjoy your dinner, joe...what are you serving?

maryanne
Terri_PacNW
16 years ago
Doesn't happen...I won't even dream about what it could be like...
msafirstein
16 years ago
kitchen scene from 9 1/2 weeks

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle
User
16 years ago
Doesn't happen...I won't even dream about what it could be like...

LOL ... doesn't happen here either :)
Terri_PacNW
16 years ago
Glad to know I'm not alone OM!
User
16 years ago
The fact that he cooked would make it a perfectly romantic meal. Has never happened and never will.....unless of course I have an affair ..... now there's a thought ; )
socal_ann
16 years ago
when the meal is all about dining and good conversation.
lpinkmountain
16 years ago
A man making dinner or any meal for me would be very romantic, no matter what was served. But definately put me in the "doing the dishes afterwards" camp. Frankly, when a man helps with cleanup, I am totally sold, whether he cooks the dinner or not. To me, helping with meal prep, cleanup, table setting, etc. is the most romantic thing in the world. My mom always used to say you should look for a man who can build a good fire in the fireplace, but I've been an outdoor woman for too long, I teach fire building at this point. Helping with the clean up is on my short list of admirable male qualities.
rob333 (zone 7b)
16 years ago
When he's thought of all the details. Men aren't big believers in the small things weighing more than the big things. But a woman thinks the details make the moment and count more than the meal itself. What details are important are specific to the woman herself.

My husband likes to cook meals I've taught him to make. He really feels proud when he can make it from beginning to end and when he knows what he's cooking. Seeing him so happy is a romantic meal to me. He's a big believer in a complete meal has a dessert, so when he's thinking ahead, he's bought a dessert. The ultimate is if he remembers the dessert and the champagne, because that's my favorite. He's really thought of every detail then, because he knows I think every day should be a celebrated, with the right person in the right way!
craftyrn
16 years ago
Hubby does the cooking occassionally-- and if it's a camp he actually does the cleanup-- now if I could get him to do that at home & ignore the Fire Dept monitor at the same time -- that would be romantic !
canarybird01
16 years ago
I think the only men who have ever cooked meals for me are my two sons-in-law LOL! One is a chef with his own restaurant and the other is a very willing and pretty good cook. He also washes the dishes and cleans up the kitchen....and tells me to go sit in the living room and enjoy a coffee and the TV! That's when I'm visiting them in Canada.

Here my dear hubby takes me out to dinner frequently so that's romantic enough for me!

SharonCb
bigaugbiker
16 years ago
I was single for a REALLY long time, I cooked for a lot of women, and I'm sorry but, you are all forgetting one thing. When a man makes a dinner for you, it really shouldn't be better than YOUR cooking. Sad, but true.

aug
dedtired
16 years ago
To me, romance is wine, flowers, music and edible food. Soft lighting -- candles are wonderful.

Then dance with me after dinner. And wash the dishes in the morning.

Chocolate Whip -- too funny.
carmen_grower_2007
16 years ago
Bumblebeeze on Jan. 6th has the best in my opinion.

My husband is a fabulous cook and only in the last few years did he finally realize that he needs to clean up after himself. As a result, he now cleans as he cooks (which most of us do, I think) to make it much easier.

We both love to cook whether it is by ourselves or together.
alison
16 years ago
I think rob333 nailed it -- it's when he thinks of all the details. Big brownie points for that.

I don't deduct that much if the execution is off, or if his ambition over reaches his skills. It's the fact that he spent a lot of time thinking about the event, and thinking about what would make me happy, that melts my heart.

A guy I was involved with for several years had a habit of always giving me a little something after we'd been apart for several days. Little things; maybe a candy bar I liked, a library book he thought I might be interested in, a toy for my cat, a stack of brown paper sacks that I seemed to go thru so fast. The point was, I knew he'd been thinking of me and what would make me smile. Still makes me smile!

I think I'd like to be allowed in the kitchen to help, but only under his direction for "his" meal. I wouldn't want to sit by myself while he either cooked or cleaned, and I really like working together.
Gina_W
16 years ago
DH isn't allowed to cook much for me - I'm too picky, and cooking is not his forte. Reservations are romantic for me, LOL.
dgkritch
16 years ago
I'd rather cook and have HIM Oh and Ah over it!!
I don't sit around and wait well.

I'm pretty lucky.....DH loves my cooking, is totally "non-demanding", and does dishes some of the time.

If I don't feel like cooking, he's fine with a sandwich.

Dinner isn't the romantic part..............(grin)

Deanna
daylilydayzed
16 years ago
Since my hubby has been retired, he has taken over the cooking of all the meals and cleans up immediately afterwards. A romantic dinner for us is when someone else prepares the food and we do not have any one else with us.
hawk307
16 years ago
As An observer, I'd say there are only a few thinking of Romance.
I like the afterwards part, Wine and Dancing and afterwards.
Blow out the candles! Clean up tommorrow morning.
A show of appreciation , for a nice meal.
Sorry Ladies. What can I say ? I'm Italian !!!
Bouno Notte ! Lou
scott55405
16 years ago
Teresa, obviously you've never had *my* chocolate chip cookies (laughs); although I am going to try these posted chocolate based ones for fun as well, they sound good. The chocolate whip sounds good too; either the food or the...nevermind.

There was a time I would have thought it heresy for a man to cook for me, I'd always been kind of territorial about my kitchen and that was supposed to be my job, and I'd always tended to be rather old school about those things. Now, however I think I would really quite enjoy it. In fact if there's ever a next one who likes to cook, he can cook and I'll bake, which I enjoy more, and it will be a match made in heaven!
jojoco
16 years ago
Never happened here either. My advice would be seafood risotto, a nice salad, good wine and tiramisu (purchased from your favorite Italian bakery). You can start with bruscetta if you would like and a bowl of stuffed olives (from a olive bar if your supermarket has one). Invite her to keep you company with the wine and apps while you make the risotto.
It is a homey, simple but lovely meal. It would be the perfect meal for me.

Enjoy.
Jo
bob411
16 years ago
scott, you won't be sorry if you make them, unless you can't stop eating them, then you'll be sorry.
lpinkmountain
16 years ago
Lou, it could be a reflection of the ways the different sexes view "romance." If a gal's not careful, a night of reckless romance could lead to a lifetime of regret! :)
OK, worst case scenario, but possibly a big mess in the kitchen and dining area that she has to clean up "the morning after." Dishes take maybe 15 min., with plenty of time to kiss her on the back of the neck before you load those plates into the dishwasher! And dance her around the kitchen when it's all done.
The bottom line is that women appreciate consideration and responsibility. The devil is in the details. If this is a new gal, make sure the bathroom is somewhat clean and you have a clean sink with a clean handtowel (ask me how I know!). A nice table setting that you did yourself, including nice wine and candles, yes. Romantic music, not your latest Twistd Sister CD. I'm a vegetarian, so I'd appreciate it if someone made something sans meat, of course. Stuffed shells comes to mind as something sexy and easy. Fondu would be fun.
One of my most romantic days was spent with a former lover making moussaka. We shopped together, chopped together, did the dishes together, and lingered long over a bottle of wine. His attention was devoted to making me happy, and it was very romantic.
hawk307
16 years ago
Pinky: Sounds good!!! ( A worse case senerio )
what's wrong with both cleaning up the big mess the next morning.
Smiling at each other for the 15 minutes.
Then someone comes to visit and wonder's,
what the hell are these two nuts smiling about.

I like the " One of my most Romantic days "
LOU
jakkom
16 years ago
>>When a man makes a dinner for you, it really shouldn't be better than YOUR cooking. Sad, but true. Well, I'm glad my nephew doesn't feel that way. He's a GREAT cook, in a family of rabid foodies! His fiancee is a successful career women and has little or no interest in cooking. Green bean casserole with Campbell's cream of mushroom soup is as ambitious as she gets. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, but when you're marrying a man who has both a paella pan and a tajine (and USES them!), you can see why he does 90% of the cooking on a day-to-day basis anyway.

For romance, they go out to eat. We all live in the San Francisco Bay Area, so there's a smorgasbord of great cuisines out here to choose from.

I'm hyped because I've finally convinced him to dump their crappy Jenn-air range for a Bluestar. He'll be cooking up a storm before year-end!
annie1992
16 years ago
I'm with barnmom, anything made just for me is romantic. I'd never had a man that cooked for me until I met Elery, now he'll surprise me with soup for lunch or pita chips and hummus when I get home from work, if he's here. I love it, just knowing that he's thinking about me and cares enough to make anything for me is good.

Our usual evening is sitting on the couch with the Food Network on, looking at cookbooks. Last week it was the seed catalogs, LOL.

Of course, he does clean up the mess himself. He's a "clean as you go" kind of cook, while I tend to clean up everything afterward.

As for food, I vote for something light, not a huge heavy meal, and definitely dessert. Anything you can eat with your fingers (or HIS fingers) is even more fun.....

Annie
hawk307
16 years ago
Annie; You devil you !!! Food Network, Cookbooks, Seed Catalogs.
I didn't know you were that Romantic ?????
LOU

PS: Romantic is derived from Roman.
BeverlyAL
16 years ago
It's never happened here and never will.

The most romantic part would be him cooking for me, doesn't have to be better than I cook, Kenny G and him not expecting an "afterwards", yet wonderful if it happens to be an "afterwards" because that's what I want.
annie1992
16 years ago
Yes, Lou, I'm a romantic kind of girl. LOL Actually, I'm much more a realist than a romantic, if you can believe it. (grin)

I agree, Beverly, about the "afterwards because that's what I want". A romantic dinner has to have no strings or expectations, just be a gift.

Annie
diana55
16 years ago
.......I'm still waiting!!! Diana55
Terrapots
16 years ago
Ditto here, Diana. Where did I go wrong?
BeverlyAL
16 years ago
Oh and BTW, I don't so much as ever want to smell a Chocolate Chip cookie again!
Gina_W
16 years ago
ROTFL - I luv you guys...

{{gwi:1481735}}
beanthere_dunthat
16 years ago
The company and attention.

But I like Bumblebeez list, too.

Scott, that's the deal I had with DH for years - he cooked the meals (because he enjoys it) and I did the baking, soups and salads (because he does not know how to make a "little" soup or an interesting salad. I highly recommend the arrangment. (It avoids all that trying to wrangle what on earth he wants for dinner out of him, for one thing!) And I miss it. I can't get used to cooking for one. It was wonderful to have over the kitchen to him again last week!
TACHE
16 years ago
I kiss his feet and gladly (well sort of) do the dishes. That's how romantic I am.

Ladies: when a man cooks for you...

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