pesky, I understand completely! My son had a similar outcome (2 felony convictions for marijuana) with a stupid thing he did at 18. He is now 30 and still has trouble from the two convictions (yes, did the same thing twice-as I said-stupid...and ADD impulsivity had a little to do with it) He has gotten his rights restored, so he can vote again which was a huge thing for him. It is possible in some states to petition the governor for a pardon which expunges the record. I should think your DH should be able to go that route at this point. My DS wants to do that. Be careful, though, and get a lawyer you can count on to make the petition. My DS paid one (someone we know, our former state rep., and someone we trusted) thousands of dollars to request from the governor that he be pardoned and the guy never followed through. It stinks. Our lawyer was planning to run for governor which would have been great for us and everyone thought he was a shoo-in. Should have been actually, but a big national name decided to run and they both ended up losing in the primary to someone who could never be elected statewide (and wasn't!). It doesn't seem fair that kids who haven't done anything remotely violent or destructive should have to pay for the rest of their lives for a stupid, impulsive decision. I would love to see laws change, so felonies could disappear after a certain period if the person has served his time/probation and shows that he/she is a contributing citizen and when the convictions were for non-violent, non-destructive acts.

Pesky, I'm sorry your son got the brunt of everything; something needs to be done for sure. My son was "busted" with his airsoft guns back when my dad was fighting cancer; 2005; so he was just turning 18. There were a lot of hold ups using air soft guns at the time; so they wanted to make an example of my son. He & his friends were playing on what they did not know was state forest property; not hurting anyone.

He had a few thousand $$ worth of equipment taken; we went to court, he was going to fight it but was told if he did he'd be charged by 2 counties as well; because where they were was borderline for 2 counties. I paid his fine; they did not want to give his stuff back. A few years later, right before we were moving he got a phone call to come pick his stuff up.

The next thing that happened was his GF's ex-boyfriend came after them with a gun. He had a knife in his car for protection; was driving through this pain in the rear town & was pulled over & booked for the knife. My attorney couldn't get him off, even though he had proof of the gun incident. He served probation and is waiting to have it taken off of his record. I think he can apply in a few months. My son is one of the kindest, most polite kids I've known. He wouldn't hurt a fly; don't think he's ever been in a fist fight.

As far as the sex offender registry; ttodd very well could have more & dangerous sex offenders living by her but she doesn't know about them because they don't notify.

As in my neighbors case; the one psycho neighbor that I always talk about that I had issues with.. well of course she's the one that spread it about my registered neighbor; telling every kids, etc that she could. You wouldn't believe the things the teens wanted to do to him because they believed he was bad. I guess they are all lucky I talked sense into people because had they hurt him; they would have gotten charges.

I don't know what the answer is.
We need a new system for sure.

Wow... I just cannot believe some of this stuff. Stupidity as a kid should not ruin your future, and might I add, I have seen much worse crimes than the ones above with much less punishment =(

I just wanted to add a sex offender story. I don't know all of the details, as the family dealing with this is a friend of my parents from their Church, but here goes:

Young boy and young girl meet through a CYO (Catholic youth organization) function. They hit it off, call one another and begin "dating". At this time, are 16 and 17. The relationship turns sexual (consensually), and now the boy turns 18. Apparently, the girl has a pregnancy scare, and turns to her parents who then basically scold the crap out of her for being sexually active. In panic, she says it wasn't consensual and he forced himself on her. He is charged with rape (despite "dating" this girl for nearly a year at this point) and it goes to court. At some point the girls comes clean to her parents, but they refuse to drop the charges. Charges go through, now this 19 year old boy will not only live with the label "rapist", but he is now a registered sex offender for having sex with a minor (who was only 4 months younger than him).

That girls family has ruined his future for him. Not saying her was right or wrong for having sex in the first place (WHOLE 'nother discussion), but what kind of future can he possibly have?

Unreal.

When my brother decided to move out to CA he sold off most of his possessions and bought van to move. Hunting is very common in my state. He went to the local gun store and bought a booklet outlining the gun laws in all 50 states so he could move his hunting guns in accordance with the laws - where they had to be kept in the vehicle, how they had to be secured, ect.. He tried to do the right thing.

Sooooo, he was sleeping in his van at a wayside in some state out west, I don't remember which one. Cops came and questioned him about why he was parked there (Isn't that what waysides are for??) and they found his guns. They found his guns. When he showed them the booklet on the gun laws in that state they informed him that the copyright was old and the law had been changed.

He was charged as a felon. They had a list of multiple charges. He got a public defender who he said did not say one word during the trial where he was found 'guilty'. He spent months in jail for his "arsenal" of guns. He thinks he was railroaded because he was not from the area.

This is now on his record as a felon with multiple gun charges with scary sounding terms like "endangerment" and "reckless".

People assume that a gun charge means he USED a gun. They even think he shot someone, or went berserk with someone threatening them with a gun. Or that he was a crazy person with an "arsenal" holed up somewhere involved in a shoot out with the tactical squad surrounding the house to 'take him down'. They create scenarios in their heads about what they think probably happened to get charged with something like that. This is the only thing he ever got arrested for in his whole life. He doesn't even get traffic tickets. A totally clean record. Except for the gun charges and conviction.

He is the most mild mannered, polite person you would ever meet. He is greatly underemployed now and he cannot get a decent job because of this.

Oregon has a law that allows certain convictions to be 'set aside' after a certain period of time and certain conditions met. This effectively clears ones record. It is something we can do without an attorney, and it's not too expensive, so my son can petition the court in a year or two and possibly get his convictions taken care of. Especially that he's never had an ounce of trouble and is gainfully employed.

However, for some reason, traffic convictions cannot be set aside. I do not know why...and can't seem to get someone to explain why, but I'm going see if I can't petition one of our legislators to introduce an ammendment to the bill. It's the one thing DH wants more than anything to have his name back, but not sure it can be done.

It's a shame how these things happen and can ruin a person for life. I have a friend who lost everything due to his spoiled stepdaughter crying rape against him. He could go to court for another 2 years (and be wiped out financially) or cop a guilty plea and be done. What choice did he have? Lost his home, his job, his kids, everything.

Saw another man in my hometown go to prison after his stepdaughter cried rape because he wouldn't buy her a new car when she turned 16. He went to prison and died there. What goes around comes around, but it's still such a trajedy. Half the time MURDERERS don't go to prison, but some spoiled kid can send an innocent man there.

pesky - our State does allow the motor vehicle charges or points assigned (all) to "fall off of your driving record" after a certain number of years without offenses. DH had a terrible driving record when he first got his DL and we paid crazy high insurance premiums for a number of years after we married. All of our cars for years were registered in my name, but he still had to be listed on the insurance as an occasional operator under the law as he is a resident relative. He did change his driving practices and his driving abstract is now perfect as if he had never been the dumb and dangerous teen he once was with regard to use of a car.

I am wondering why your state doesn't follow the same practice. I do understand that DUI never disappears if you have a subsequent incident, but all other traffic violations disappear. I watch the news about people who have multiple offenses year after year, but I assume that is because they never attain a "clean" driving record, so you hear every offense they've ever been convicted of at the time of the most recent one for which they are being charged.

Sad story for your family.

Sometimes (Ok often) I just don't get it? Or wonder why they (officials) don't get it.

I had a young guy do community service where I worked becuase he was at the beach w/ a bunch of buddies in a van. Whne they lit up pot to smoke he said 'No thanks', opened up the van doors to get out and there stood the cops. They arrested them all and he got community service w/ a perm. record.

Wow. Sounds like there are way more of us than I expected. Guess we all need to start talking and writing to our reps to create a more rational legal/penal system.

My DS had about the same story as dixiedo. One month after he turned 18, the father flips out and decides to make an example of him. Ditto the DA. This was the stress that caused his depression and mental breakdown. All the while, still thinking he and the girl would eventually get back together! Poor thing could never hurt a fly, but paid dearly for a small mistake.

I thought the registry showed 'low' or 'high' risk. If it's a high risk, I probably wouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt, but if it's a low risk, I would wonder if the charge was warranted or not.

FIL was a judge and he always said "The last place you'll see justice is in a courtroom." Sad but true.