Is the rival restaurant a chain? If there's a place that teaches the staff not to act like that, I need to find it.

Neither are chains. I think it would be an opportunity for someone to start classes for wait staff - and also for the rest of the restaurant service people.

I find that there is a HUGE lack of respect generally out there but I notice it more when I am at a restaurant.

Nancy

I would not be offended by the things you described unless I was at a place fancy enough to have a sommelier on staff. But then again I prefer more casual places for the most part.

That said, I have had some pretty rude and crass people wait on me at times. One thing that really does bother me is when you ask what their house wine is or what red wines they serve by the glass and they have no clue.

One time I ordered a chicken caesar salad at a local place. Upon my first bite it was obvious that they had used a teriyake marinated chicken brest on the salad. I summoned the waitress and asked her about it and she said "That's how we always make chicken caesar salad". This was untru, I had ordered the CCS many times before at this restaurant. I ended up picking off the chicken and just eating the salad. Teriyaki and caesar do not go together!

Linda

Funny you should mention this.

We have an absolutely fabulous family diner type restaurant in town. Been in business forever. Great food, homey feeling, very casual service and everyone sorta talks to everyone else.....seriously casual.

The owner recently opened a higher end restaurant down the street. Excellent food, great menu, very nice decor. To tell you the truth there is literally no local competition for this place , it's good

BUT...the wait staff has the same demeanor as the diner down the street. Seriously casual in how they talk to you, not serving or clearing from the proper side, etc..... but the kicker for me was when the bus boy brought the slop bowl, on a tray stand, table side and scraped our dishes into it!!! I damn near died!

We'll go back, the food was that good but I did send a note to the owner suggesting a few lessons in serving etiquette may be in order!

I hear you! My least favorite is when they plop their rear at my table. Have you had that happen? What's up with that? Or leaving the dirty dishes on the table. I really don't understand that one.

Chase, you have to be kidding. Scraped your dishes right there? Oh my goodness.

It's a shame the waitstaff doesn't test the water before they act too casual. The folksy approach will work with some but not with all.

I had a similar experience today but it was at a furniture store. I walked in and the two salespeople were bust griping about something, in the office area which was very open to the sales floor. I walked by them and continued to walk the entire floor. They continued their discussion the entire time I was there. This was not a cheap furniture store, a recliner I liked was $2800.00 and a table was $3500.00. Anyway, before I walked out, I walked by the doorway to the office and stood there. Finally one of the girls asked me if I had any questions. I said, "I did, but since you couldn't be bothered, I just thought I'd let you know I won't be back, even though I need several pieces." and with that I left.

I'm tempted to call and speak with the owner tomorrow. I feel I might be doing him/her a favor.

Nancy

Nancy, that reminds me of the scene in "Pretty Woman" where Julia Roberts goes back to a boutique where the salesperson had belittled her and waves handsful of shopping bags from a ritzy department store in their faces and says "big mistake. Huge".

Honestly, I wouldn't get all that upset about the staff's comments. They were not at all professional, but at least they were not rude. I had a hostess yesterday that gave us a look like she was doing us a favor to let us eat there. I gave her the look right back, and I am really good at that. Our waitress was nice but my sandwich was awful. I just won't go back because of the food.

Here is a link that might be useful: Pretty Woman Shop Scene

I am showing my age, but when I grew up going out to eat to a nice restaurant was a rare treat. We went out for special occasions like birthdays, graduations, or other memorable events. I remember putting on my nicest dress and also being on my best behavior. The wait staff was always very polite, well-mannered and courteous. It brought the dinning experience up to a new level. I don't like the over friendly attitude today, even at very expensive restaurants. I don't want my waitress or waiter to be my BFF. LOL
Clare

Clare, I remember when my mom would take the three of us out for dinner at Stouffers restaurant when we were kids. It was a nice place, tablecloths, real silver etc. Mostly what I remember is my little brother crawling around under the table. I bet they were happy when we left. I do remember a beef noodle soup that I just loved. I'd get that every time.

There was no such thing as fast food. There was one deli that we could get take out. It was a real treat. It was a Jewish deli and the thing I remember most clearly is that the cook at the window where you picked up your take-out had a number tattooed on his arm from a concentration camp. This was about 1959. It sticks in my mind to this day. That deli is still there!

Anyway, I am taking this thread off on a tangent. I do appreciate being treated well in a restaurant. I worked as a waitress and I know they have to put up with a lot, too, not only from the customers but from the kitchen, too.

There is casual and then there is rude. I probably would have overlooked the hostess, but the waitress sounds horrible. Even at Applebees or Olive Garden, I'd expect to hear "let me find out for you" rather than just no effort whatsoever. I also hate it when people interrupt the conversation. I make sure to say please and thank you, make eye contact and listen without interrupting when I'm talking to service people. I also make a point to quickly finish my sentence and look up when they come to the table, especially if I see that they're busy. But talking over me is just not ok. I think it was brave to talk to the manager. I probably would have said nothing and then gone home and left a nasty review on Yelp.

About 15 years ago I was somewhat taken aback when the waiter at our (chain) restaurant crouched down to speak to us at the table and addressed my 70+ yo MIL as "mate", definitely a male word. But, here at least and I suspect for the younger generation everywhere in general, "Guys" are non-gender specific. It doesn't bother me to be addressed as "you guys", though it does lack a certain formality.
And I wouldn't interpret "just you two" as an admonition, more as shorthand for, "or are you the advance party for a larger group?" What if you were meeting a bunch of friends and were the first two to arrive, and she had seated you at a table for two without asking?

I wouldn't have been offended or insulted by the hostess's remarks either. Asking how many are in your party is very common, it is what the hostess is supposed to do. Could the wait staff have been better trained in how the menu is prepared, absolutely. If they don't know the answer to the questions you ask they should go and find out the answer for you. But would I have raised a fuss about it...nah. It was a new restaurant they are bound to have some things not right. NancyLouise

It is a pet peeve of mine that when I got to a restaurant alone (I'm not shy!) or with BF we get the "just you?" question. Surely there must be another way of phrasing that, so it doesn't seem like there is something wrong with one or two. Perhaps, "Will this be a party of one/two?" or "Are you a party of one/two?" I know one isn't technically a "party" but is sure sounds like a fun word, instead of "just (poor) you?" But I honestly don't take offense, I know they are just trying to find out how and where to seat me. It's really up to me how I decide to feel about it. I realize dining alone is unusual but that's because other folks just don't have the courage to do it because they are afraid what other people might think. In all my 30 plus years of being a single diner (I'm on the road a lot so have to eat out) no one has even remotely noticed that it was "just me" except for the hostess/host and they were just trying to figure out how to seat me. One other time I was at a hotel restaurant while I was away on business and some guy tried to chat me up, I was cordial for a bit and then told him I was kind of busy and that was that. Folks are too engrossed in their own worlds and issues to notice you much if you're just sitting in a restaurant eating. Besides, nowdays everyone is glued to an electronic screen/device.

Even if it wasn't a huge problem, I think you were right to let the manager know that manners are important if you are in the food SERVICE industry.

I'm with you Lpink, I dined alone for years all over this country and never had a problem with it or the host/hostess' acknowledgement of me as a single diner.

However, I am a customer service snob i.e. I expect a reasonable level of CS. I had a checkout clerk recently process my entire grocery order, bag it, and give me my receipt without making eye contact. I said "Congratulations, you processed my entire order without acknowledging me or making eye contact."

LPink, that happens to me, too. I think next time I'll try "Yup! Best company there is!" Sometimes I feel awkward, but there is something so decadent about going to lunch by myself and sitting outside in the sun, and a lot of times there are such good deals on weekdays.

Cathy, you kill me! My mom's CS pet peeve is people shoving money across the counter to her (instead of putting it in her hand) or not saying thank you. Y'all would get along, and me too. Don't worry, I don't think your "old' because you're like my mom. Mommy and I worked for the same company at the same time in the same division. We are really good friends. I'd be proud to be like her!

I think I am on the exact opposite end of things, I don't expect much and so am not disappointed. However, if someone sat on my table, I wouldn't like that much. I see it as a crummy job that decent people have to do and it sucks the life out of them over time.
I wouldn't want to do it either and I feel for them. We always tip well and I have a rapport with quite a few Wal Mart cashiers.