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mustangs81

New Neighbors To Deal With

17 years ago

I need help with dealing with my new neighbors. Here are some of the old neighbors whom I have enjoyed, loved, and fed over the last 14 years.

This is the beginning of my new neighborÂs house and every morning starting at 6am or 7am I am awakened to what is to come:

I know Sherry and Peppi can validate the openness of my view to this property. The new neighbors will live on 10 acres behind me in a two story 5 bedroom, 4 bath, 4 car garage. This house is being built very close to my property line. I will see it from all but three rooms in my house. My house is very open to this property and it has always been an extension of our home; I donÂt have window treatments so we can share the solitude with the wildlife.

I am trying to focus on the many positives in my lifeÂwe are fortunate in so many waysÂbut I am struggling with loosing an important feature of our house and an aspect of our free spirit. PLUS I will covet this house daily!

Things could be so much worse so tell me how selfish, shallow, and materialistic I am and how I can get over it. I know you all are going to have different perspectives for me to consider.

Comments (44)

  • 17 years ago

    NO!!!!! Tell me it isn't true!

    On the other hand, they may be the nicest people you ever met, wonderful cooks, and will become dear freinds. I hope and pray.

    Carp!

  • 17 years ago

    I hear ya.....
    But your view is not yours unless you own it and pay taxes on it.
    I don't have the open view that you do....but did have a lovely view of 4 back yards....until my stupid neighbors built an ugly box of a garage. I have covered the ares with bushes and rambling roses so I am no longer looking at the ugly box....but my vista is gone.
    Huge tall trees, cypress.
    And you can depend on them being jerks, else why would they choose to build in your back yard rather on some other are of the 10 acres...unless of course theya re planning on a development...AARGH!

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  • 17 years ago

    Same thing happened to my friends who bought a 100 year old farmhouse out in the country 20+ years ago. It's country no more, and it made them sad to see it go, no two ways about it. I would suggest planting a treed border this fall. That's what my friends have, and it does help in giving the illusion of still being out in the country. At least it blocks the views of the huge subdivision now behind their house.

  • 17 years ago

    My guess is they opted to save money by building close to existing utilities and road. I hope they are nice people who you will be good friends with.

  • 17 years ago

    Peppi and Gina, Other neighbors who have introduced themselves to the new neighbors have reported back that they are arrogant and braggarts. I am the most impacted since they are building right behind me.

    Linda, I so wanted to purchase the land myself but didn't have $250,000. You have a valid point about the view; someone pointed out that my house ruined someone's view when it was built.

  • 17 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss, and would feel exactly the same way.

    Many years ago we had a huge evergreen, beautiful white pine behind us, until my neighbor (with a personality very much as you describe) cut it down and exposed his back yard and freight train yard light that came right into our home, to our small back yard. We built a tall trellis and planted many trees, vines and shrubs, which helped once I got over myself. (My plan was to find a piece of stained glass which would hang on the trellis, to turn the light into a ''feature'' that I didn't have to pay electricity for. If you can't beat em...! That was a time of my life that revealed my talents for turning a negative into a positive.) I realized I could only control what was on my side of the fence and had to make adjustments. I never hung the stained glass, but instead a mirror to reflect my own garden, which also helped immensely. We still have plenty of wildlife, even in suburbia, so I daresay that won't be a complete loss for you. Like you, I often prefer my animal neighbors to the human variety!

    Losing a beloved sight-line is a loss worth grieving. Change is hard!

    (((I feel for you!)))

  • 17 years ago

    I'm sorry you're going through difficult changes, but...
    You will survive.
    You will adjust.

    You have no control over this, so try your best not to worry.

  • 17 years ago

    Oh dear, how dreadful. With all that space they had to build so close to you. I don't get it. For their own privacy, you think they would build father away.

    I know what it's like to have to look out the window and have what you see make your stomach churn. I live on an adorable street in a very desirable area. Twenty three years ago some horrible disgusting people moved in and it has been one nightmare after another over there. I have to look at their collection of trashy old cars.

    I call the police to have them towed away once they have been sitting there long enough so that the license and inspection have expired, but they soon fill it right up again. Now their son has some mental problem and he walks back and forth in front of the house making weird faces and talking to himself.

    I have seriously considered moving just to get away from the sight of them.

    I feel very bad for you, but try not to let it eat away at you.

  • 17 years ago

    Oh, Cathy! Well, maybe the tree border is the best idea.

    You can pick your clothes, you can pick your nose....but you can't pick your relatives or your neighbors.

    Let's hope they're not as bad as all that. And if they are...plant HUGE trees in that border!

    Linda

  • 17 years ago

    Oh Cathy! I do feel for you and your loss. That can't be an easy thing to part with.


    The land on the right side of my house has been up for sale for 1 year. Someone in our family owns it but I just don't want more land. Besides it's major $$$. I guess I need to save my pennies for a tall live fence.

    I remember when we did our addition on our home....We don't have a lot of neighbors but the one neighbor that is close to us always got lots of baked goods from me. I also talked with them at least once a week to see how they were doing with the noise and disruption that was caused by our construction. That's just the neighborly thing to do.

  • 17 years ago

    Oh, Cathy, I do know how you feel. I just backspaced over a huge new neighbor rant, lol. We've seen lots of changes on our three miles of road, from three houses to more than 70 mailboxes. I hope your new neighbors turn out to be good neighbors.

  • 17 years ago

    Oh how I feel your pain! Ten years ago my FIL died and 2 years after that my MIL decided to sell the farm. We were devastated. We did manage to buy DH's aunt's house(the old home place) which was a tiny ramshackle affair, and also purchase the garage and barn close to the Aunts house from my MIL. It was a big mess lots of hurt and pain. The part of the old farm that is visible from my living room window was divided into 27 lots - there are 7 houses already built. It was heartbreaking, hurtful and trying but there are pluses.

    The 2 story part of the ramshackle house we bought(and live in now) from DH's aunt turned out to be a log cabin which is now one wall in our living room.

    All the new neighbors are nice. Our closest new neighbors are wonderful! Young with 2 adorable babies we get to see every day.

    Property value has gone up.

    My MIL died 9/4/09 and everyone gathered here after the funeral and all were glad to be here at the home place.

    I hope you find a silver lining.

    Di

  • 17 years ago

    I knew you all would come through for me.

    Karen, At least the builder was being neighborly. Yesterday afternoon he drove up to check on the project. I went to talk to him thinking he was the owner. I told him "you should have been here this morning at 6 when the earth was shaking and four sets of headlights were shining in my bedroom window". He was very apologetic and gave me his business card to call him if anyone on the work crew wasn't behaving.

    When they delivered the bright blue PortaJohn, the guy put it right in the center of my property up against the fence. I ran out screaming "NO!!" and started crying because that was all you could see from most rooms in my house. Can you imagine seeing the crew going in and out all day for 6 or more months! The PortaJohn guy called someone (turns out it was the nice builder guy) and he moved it further away but still very visible from my windows.

  • 17 years ago

    Di, I missed your story. Thanks for sharing and for understanding.

  • 17 years ago

    (((hugs)))

    We have friends whose house is smack on the border of the next city. They had a wonderful view until the adjoining property was bought. Their home is damaged and cracked from the dirt compacting machines, literally feet from their home, to make a foundation for the behemoth. Since it's another city, they had some, but little recourse.

  • 17 years ago

    Oh I feel your pain! Hopefully the new neighbors aren't as bad as the reputation that precedes them.

    My personal experience with unwelcome new neighbors is this.... The house I grew up in was a late 1600's grist mill that my parents bought in the 60's and renovated into a home. It still had the mill wheel and was quite rustic and very picturesque at the bottom of the waterfall. The home across the river was a "summer cottage" of 15 rooms, sweeping porches and had a lovely view of my house. When the owner passed away, my parents could not afford to buy the property, so it was sold and the new owner decided to capitolize on the view. They bulldozed the "cottage" and put up a 100 room motel! Talk about neighbors from hell! They actually put up flood lights to illuminate the river and my house so their guests could admire my house until 11:00 PM every night!

    Needless to say, my parents ended up selling. Here is a link to the "hotel"

    Here is a link that might be useful: Ogunquit River plantation

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy, three words - clumping giant bamboo. Plant it now and in less than 2 year it will be so tall, you will never see your neighbors, if you do not want to. It is not invasive and will give you a nice tropical background.

  • 17 years ago

    A collection of trashy old cars? A motel??? Cracked foundation? 27 lots? Freight train yard light? Your stories make me feel bad for whining.

    Punamytsike, funny that you should respond as I was thinking yesterday that if I lived at your house I wouldn't have to worry about neighbors and would have all 360 views from your tower. I was also thinking about Sherry's forest, Karen's river, Peppi's koi pond.

    Raymond still has nightmares about the bamboo we had in our previous home. It would be a hard sell but clumping bamboo really isn't invasive?

  • 17 years ago

    Well, I could try to placate you with all kinds of nice things, but I think that right now you just need somebody to commiserate with you, so I am gonna do it.
    Da*n those people taking away your view.
    I am sorry about it, Cathy, and I will cuss them out virtually.
    After the house is done, after some time has lapsed, you will be OK with it because you know you have to be. But for now, let's just think poopy thoughts about them, those meanies!

    Linda F, I always heard, "You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose."

  • 17 years ago

    Whine away, Cathy. Your loss is no less significant than anyone else's! Just sharing stories to commiserate!

  • 17 years ago

    Well, personally, I don't think you are whining. I think of whining as someone who makes a habit of it; this is clearly not the case. Nor, do you have entitlement issues (that I have ever seen), so that doesn't apply either. You are suffering a long-time loss of a view you enjoyed, with pictures to prove it. You probably bought your home long ago because of it, and now that's all changing. Not only is losing the view hard, but the people it's connected to! (I hate to say that may get worse before it gets better.) I think you'll have to experience every stage of the grieving process, since that is what this actually is. Please don't feel one bit bad for bringing it up.

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy, go ahead, complain. Nothing can be done, of course, but you still get to. And that is why so many people buy the property next door.

    My only problem is that my neighbor on the East built a big privacy fence and his apple tree drops apples all over my yard. (shrug) The woman behind me is Roseanne Barr, I swear, and the police are there a lot, and her kids use my side yard as a personal pathway to and from school. (shrug)

    That's OK, I'll be building out at the farm where I know my next door neighbors live in squalor. It's my sister. Sigh.

    Still better than seeing the sun come up over one neighbor's house and setting over the roof of another, and nothing much in between.....


    Annie

  • 17 years ago

    UGH! Port o John's. Not a nice thing but important to have. Have you ever read (on the building forum) the nightmares of the workers doing the icky in between the walls?

    I do feel for you!

    Times they are a changing...

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy I will try to take some fresh pics from the tower and post for you , then you will see our giant bamboo on the border, blocking the view to the north, where our neighbor likes to keep his not so nice looking trailers ;) These bamboos are now I think 3 or 4 years old.

  • 17 years ago

    Icky between the walls... eeeewwww! I'm SO naive.

  • 17 years ago

    Ironic that Ogonquit River Plantation touts its environmental sensitivity. I see it "compliments" the view. They should be reminded that the word is "complements."

    We had wonderful elderly neighbors who regarded my DH as a foster son. They'd lived there since 1945, when they built the house. When they died we had an opportunity to buy the property at a discount but declined because of DH's health issues. We didn't feel in a position to maintain or deal with renters.

    Big mistake. The first time DH walked across the very back of the property to visit across the fence with the owner on the other side, the new owner threatened to shoot him. Rather extreme. All he had to do was ask us not to cross the boundary.

    I live in hope that his septic system fails, since his lot lines are narrow and he can't get a truck into the back without crossing through our property.

    Carol

  • 17 years ago

    LOL Carol!

  • 17 years ago

    Isn't it awful what bad neighbors will make you think? The slob across from me is overweight and amokes. I actually have dreams that he will keel over from a heart attack.

    I think I need to relax and let it go or I will be the one to croak of hypertension.

    I really do need to plant a tree to block the view.

    Mustangs, my mom went through the same thing a number of years ago. There were acres of lovely quiet dense woods next to her that were developed with several McMansions. The construction was a nightmare because the builder was such an a$$. He parked a trailer right on her property line that had been spray painted with all kinds of vulgarities. The Porta-Potties were right in her line of vision as well, even though there was plenty of other space for them. She complained to the Township but they did very little to help.

    However, she has had a good attitude toward the new neighbors. She is by nature a people-person, and all the new folks like her a lot. She is invited to all kinds of parties and even a couple of bar mitzvahs. She goes to everything, and she's 92.

    I'm a lot crabbier than her.

  • 17 years ago

    Aww, I think I would be reacting the same way. I still live in fear of the day the new owners of the land across from my parents 1860's farm, decide to build a home. The land once belonged to the family but was left to both my father and his cousin. My father paid the difference and got the land with the house and his cousin took the land across the road. Since then his cousin has sold the land, I believe to a developer. I have a feeling my parents will definatly consider selling their home, when that time comes. As you can see this is where I was married and you can see in the background the field and view across the road. The farm is in Maine, and the view goes all the way to New Hampshire. [IMG]http://i35.tinypic.com/ib9dp5.jpg[/IMG]
    Oh, and Caliloo, I think that is where my sister worked when she was in high school...small world..

  • 17 years ago

    Yes! Please complain to your heart's content and we will listen with sympathetic ears. After all, that's what friends are for!

    My bad neighbor story is pretty lame I think but here it is. The house next door was inhabited by a nice quiet older gentleman when we moved in. At some point his daughter and her husband and son moved in with him. They were what I like to call, "low life". They were constantly bickering loudly in their driveway which is right outside my bedroom window. One time, I over heard them from another room, farther inside my house! I went over to my BR window to see (curiosity got the best of me) and the husband was moving threateningly toward the wife as she backed into the garage. She said something like, go ahead, hit me! and with that, he pushed the button to lower the garage door.

    Well, what would you do? I called the police! We have excellent response time from the constables who patrol our neighborhood so they came within minutes. One of the cops called me later to let me know that it didn't look like any violence had occured but that the husband had left to "cool off" after they'd chatted with him. He also assured me that I'd done the right thing to call.

    The worst of it was their barking dog. They had two dogs, one of whom would bark non stop anytime they let him out of the house. By nonstop, I mean literally for hours if they didn't let him back in. Normally I could ignore it with TV noise but during Ike we had no power and had to sleep with the windows open.

    These neighbors had apparently found a place to spend their time away from the house and would come home about once a day and leave again. One night, as we tried to sleep, the everbarking dog was outside and simply would not stop. I had to call the cops.

    Turned out they weren't home (of course) but the old man was, and (sorry to say this) according the the cops, laying in his own filth inside the house. They had to somehow rouse him by banging on windows and doors to get him to take in the dog. Unbelievable!

    A few months ago, they apparently moved out. I have no idea what happened but suddenly they were all gone. The house now sits empty and untaken care of with overgrown grass and weeds. I don't know what will happen next!!

    Cathy, I hope your neighbors do actually end up being good people and friends! We'll continue to hope for the best!

    OK, and my favorite version:
    You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on your saddle!

  • 17 years ago

    Whoops, lets try this one...you can only see a small part of the view, but it really does add to the farm...

    Here is a link that might be useful:

  • 17 years ago

    Well Cathy I also can feel your pain. We got fed up with the "sights" and planted 100 Areca Palms. Within 3 years they hide a lot. In this picture our not so friendly neighbor constructed a huge 2000 sq ft metal building he uses for storage, a gym that that a loud stereo system and he works on cars in it. It's mammouth! But our trees now hide it. It's there - behind these trees...

    {{gwi:1453833}}

    Behind us, used to be a vacant lot with beautiful green pine trees. So relaxing to sit outside on our patio and just see greenery. But someone bought that lot and built a big house. He took down all the trees too. So now our view was a big cement house. His house is also behind these trees!

    {{gwi:1453834}}

    Now on to our side view..... we need to plant more trees. This guy is a Sanford & Son to put it mildly. I wish the pictures would show just how awful it looks.

    {{gwi:1453836}}

    {{gwi:1453838}}

    So, get yourself some Areca Palms and plant them. They'll be big and tall in no time flat! The best part is that there is no maintenance to these trees. Not like a ficus hedge!

  • 17 years ago

    Oh, man! I am reading all of this and all I can think is two things: I love my neighbors(on one side) and thank God for good fences on the other.

    May, I don't have the non-stop barking dogs but I do have the non-stop shreiking, crying, screaming 3 year old. Never a correct made by Mom and Dad but I have been known to yell "shut up for God's sake" over the fence while trying to garden.

    Of course we did have the cop neighbor years ago that kept a pit bull. Even the mailman would not come to them and he gave the rest of us cans of mace. We were glad when they divorced and moved.

  • 17 years ago

    Your replies and support has been very helpful to me. Thanks for sharing your stories and suggestions.

    Gee Shaun, you don't like the swamp buggy?

    The owners stopped by their property today, I was watering tomatoes and the husband raised his hand to wave and the wife swatted his arm. So much for friendly.

    indicanoe, I will be spending next week in Naples, ME to do some leaf peeping; I'm from NH - ain't nothing prettier. I can't imaging loosing that view.

  • 17 years ago

    (I've been to Naples, Maine and stayed at a fun goat farm)

    Here is a link that might be useful: Fern Hill Farm

  • 17 years ago

    Hey Denise were the goats fun or was the farm fun....

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy, here are couple of pics like promised. The really tall things are the giant bamboos.

    You can see how tall they get next to the mature oak trees on the first pic. There are other types of non invasive clumping bamboo that does not grow as tall but we needed all the height you can get so that we get the coverage from the tower as well.

  • 17 years ago

    You'll be just about an hour away from my home Mustangs. You are in luck too, because this week the colors are beginning to peek through the green. Next week will be gorgeous, I am sure of it, have a great time!
    I love this time of year in New England....

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy, wow what a wonderful view you had and I am so sorry it has turned in such a short time. Looks like you got some good ideas here for some tree lines.

    What a great impression the new neighbor left....sheesh!

    Hang in there, though. Have fun on your leaf peeping.

    Brenda

  • 17 years ago

    I can see why you would like to block the view but you should see my view. My house backs up to the fence that separates the housing development from the elementary school my kids went to when we bought this house. I have a view of an open field ana concrete pad with a shelter. Then on the other side of the field is another set of county school buildings for trouble kids. Then to the right side of the field is another open field behind the local middle school and the boys and girls club chapter at the school.
    I am bitten by the mosquitoes that rest in the grass when I go out for my morning crossing guard duty. Sometimes they will mow that field with a bush hog but it grows back very fast. It was mowed once before school started but not since. The grass in the middle is over 4 feet tall now.

  • 17 years ago

    Cathy, I think seeing that would break my heart! Like Shaun mentioned, plant something really dense, tall, and fast growing.

    Clumping bamboo (NOT running) - The sound of the canes gently knocking together is wonderfully soothing. No disease, pest, fast growing, but can be expensive depending on the type you get. Check out Kanapaha (sp?) Gardens in Gainesville.

    Sweet viburnum - Dense hedges that can grow up to 20 feet tall! Cheap, very fast growing, no pests or major diseases.

  • 17 years ago

    We have some bamboo growing on one side too. It grows fast! And it's dense and tall and perfectly hides unsightly views.

  • 17 years ago

    The same thing happened to us 6 years ago. We lost the beautiful views of hills and valleys that we had enjoyed for 17 years. They built a house on a hill that overlooked our place, right next to the property line. We fought them for a year and at least got them to move the house further away, but they put the pool and party area within 6ft of our property.

    At first we planted a row of silver dollar Eucalyptus trees to provide some privacy. The woman came over and asked us to cut them down because they interfered with their view of our park like yard that they looked down on. Her attitude was unbelievable. We had been working on our 2.5 acres since we bought the place and it wasn't to please the neighbors. Then we planted 2 rows of redwoods that came in those big wooden boxes. We had to hire someone with a backhoe to move them and dig the holes. It cost a fortune but instant forest between us and them.

    We put up with weekend after weekend of very loud pool parties all year long, year after year. It started in the day with screaming kids parties and went well into the night. This is CA so you can have outside parties all year. Other neighbors had to call the sheriff a couple of times because of the noise level. They were jerks, to put it nicely. We thought seriously about selling and moving but we put blood, sweat and tears into this place for 23 years.

    A year ago May we noticed no more parties and it was awfully quiet. That's when the 'For Sale' sign went up. They were asking a ridiculous amount so it sat and sat. Also all real estate started plummeting at that time. The wife and kids moved out and heard they were getting a divorce. He stayed till last May when we found out it was in foreclosure. Now the bank just put it on the market for half the price they were asking for it. A great deal if you got the cash.

    I am glad they are gone, but I wish they never built it in the first place. I hope we get a nice quiet retired couple and no more screaming kids pool parties. We will never get the views back.

    Clare

  • 17 years ago

    Clare, clearly your situation and others are more of a loss than my situation. I feel for your loss. I am away from home for a week and it's been good to get away from it. DH told me that it (the house) looks realllllly big now that they have put the roof on.