The adventures of Bob and Jane

16 years ago

So Bob says to Jane "Come out and hold the shovel. There is a snake in the back yard."

Jane, like a ninney, goes into the back yard with Bob.

She is dressed in her white tennis shoes and socks, and a flowing cotton gown. Night gown that is. Blue and white stripes, more than calf length. Charming.

So Bob says to Jane "I think he is under the bath tub."

We have an old claw foot tub in the back yard, equiped with a shower head for showering off before going into the hot tub. It has an abundance of cannas, bridal veil, nandina, and other things around the feets of the tub. Just great for a snakey hiding place.

Bob says the snake is big. He thinks it is a chicken snake. I am not taking any chances. I am nervous, and trying to watch where I am standing, where the snake is, and all the while, Bob is pulling weeds with a sharpened hoe. I have the trusty shovel, of course.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, Bob says "Thar he is!". I am thinking HE is crawling across my tennis shoes, and I am running, sort of, screaming, to the back porch, carrying the shovel with me. That snake ain't gonna get me! I am blinded by fear, and mindless of what I should be doing. Bob is hollering for me to "Git back here!"

I bet it looked funny as hell, because I was aware that I was taking knee-kicking steps, real high, like maybe if I did that, the snake would miss the calf of my leg. Bob wishes he had a camera.

Well, anyway, he ordered me back to the fight, and I reluctantly returned. Carrying the shovel, still.

Bob returned to looking for the snake and located him close to the rain barrel. He was going behind the rain barrel, actually, and if he came out on the other side, he would be exactly between me and the porch. I don't know who was in greater danger, me or the snake!

Bob struck him with the hoe, and pinned him, but couldn't do any good as far as killing him in that position. It wasn't a chicken snake, but a water moccaisin. He sent me for the snake catcher, a lovely invention he made a few years ago. Finally he caught it with the catcher, but was in no hurry to kill that snake.

I always have to insist that he kill them. He gets this look on his face, and I know what that means. Bob is facinated by snakes, and would love to have one to keep for his very own. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! NOT in my house!!! So Jane starts to holler about killing that snake and he reluctantly kills it.

A big one. about 4' long.

I am so glad the excitment is over for the day. In all the excitment, and hopping around, I managed to step in doggie poo. I have to go clean my shoes.

Today is Bob's birthday. Happy Birthday to him.

Janie

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Comments (20)

shipp53
16 years ago
too funny!!! my dh is the one that jumps and runs and then comes back to finish the job
carolann_z8
16 years ago
Janie, I can just picture this and it almost made me fall off my chair laughing.
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justintx
16 years ago
Truth IS funnier than fiction!!
LOL
J.D.
justintx
16 years ago
Correction:

Fact is STRANGER than fiction. DW corrected me (funnier too) ; - )
J.D.
mikeandbarb
16 years ago
Your a lot braver than I am.....I would have left DH to finish the job, while I was locked up inside the house....BAH HAHAHA
Now I don't mine little garden snake I know those don't hurt me but I wouldn't know a chicken snake from a bull snake.
I know the old saying, red and yellow kill a fellow, red and black a friend of Jack.
denisew
16 years ago
I am picturing you high-stepping in your night gown! ROFL! Good thing though since it turned out to be venomous! Tell Bob that he could have taken that snake for a drive in the country or far away from your house to release it instead of killing it. hee-hee!
little_dani
Original Author
16 years ago
Oh, Denise, I know you are right, but that would have been an invitation to find the snake hidden in a secret terrarium somewhere, sometime in the future. He would keep the snake, hide it somewhere, and I would come across it one of these days when I was going through the shop looking for a tool or a piece of wood.

I know this for a fact.

He once kept a rattler in a jar on the floorboard of his truck for weeks. Said he had no where else to keep it, and besides, he wanted to be able to look at it. LOL

I found it when I used his truck to get gas for the lawnmower. Not good, not good at all.

Janie
hitexplanter
16 years ago
You Both are braver than I. It is a funny story to read about but I wouldn't have wanted to be in either of your shoes. I have ran across the occasional snake in a pot in the nurseries I have worked at and we took a garbage can (with lid:) and tipped them into it and took them out of harms way and let them go. One was even a rattler. To think not too many years ago I wouldn't have let myself get within 10 feet of any snake (two bad experiences as a kid):. I have more respect for them now and a little less fear but I still get the tingles up the back of my neck when I have to deal with one that needs to be moved.
May none of us have to do what y'all had to do but all the same thanks for sharing a wonderfully entertaining story for all of us that weren't there and wouldn't want to be!!:)
Happy Growing David
rick_mcdaniel
16 years ago
Snake dancing, eh? Vurrry interesting.
carolann_z8
16 years ago
My DH used to go on rattlesnake roundups and one year he put a bunch of them in a trash can in the garage and locked the lid on it. He wanted to skin them later for belts.

I had an antique toy business and a lot of my old toys were on shelves in boxes in the garage. One of my clients lives in New York and he called me wanting to know what tin space toys I have. I went to the section of space toys in the garage and there on the floor was the trash can full of rattlers. I told the man to listen as I shook the can. They all rattled at one time and I told him what it was. He said "I guess having rattlesnakes in the garage is fairly common down there".
toadlilly
16 years ago
That could happen here, just have Bob and Jane trade places! Hubby (big man, 6'3") is terrified of snakes-any and ALL snakes. He can squeal and run faster than humanly possible. Thanks for sharing! CJ
cynthianovak
16 years ago
Janie
I love the way your write! I was right there with you!

great smiles of appreciation,
cynthia
pricklypearsatx
16 years ago
That's funny. You probably wouldn't mind if he kept them as pets, if he didn't keep the poison ones. (Yikes!!)I'm glad that this one is gone.

Make sure to send him out for further patrol duty!!!
carolann_z8
16 years ago
Janie, you really need to make this a regular column on GW.

You've had some funny adventures through the years.

Remember the dance your DH did a while back and the possums that moved in.
natvtxn
16 years ago
How funny! See Jane, see Jane run...and where was Spot during this time? Oh, that"s right, on your shoe.
ltcollins1949
16 years ago
Janie,

I was reading your post and laughing so hard that I was crying. I know exactly what you mean about being afraid of snakes. I know my snakes, but I don't care! I hate snakes, the good and the bad. We have so many snakes down here and with all of the development taking place, we are seeing more and more.

My neighbor killed a copperhead Saturday, and my other neighbor saw a rattler up near her house. Last year I killed two coral snakes up close to my front door. I don't bother snakes unless they come into my yard and house. Yes, I have had ribbon snakes get into my house on 3 separate occasions, and one time a garter snake got in and the cats found it and took care of it. Scary!

Finally my DH got me a little pump 4-10 with snake shot. Well he was the first one to use it to kill, what he thought was a water moccasin, out on the pier. He killed the snake and left a few marks on the pier from the pellets.

And yes Janie, keep us informed on your future antics!
texanjana
16 years ago
My laugh for the day! Though I was chased in a lake once by a Water Mocassin - ewww, they scare me! That reminds me of the time we had a big Texas rat snake in our backyard. It took my DH and I about an hour to catch it in a plastic trash can. We even knew what kind it was (nonvenomous), but we were both exhausted and sweating profusely by the time we got it. By the time we walked back home (a block from the greenbelt) after releasing it, we joked that it was probably already back in our yard! Ha Ha!!
PKponder TX Z7B
16 years ago
It's a good thing Bob wasn't between you and the escape path when your 'flight' urge kicked in! What a fabulous story Janie!

Pam
beachplant
16 years ago
The High-step snake dance. I hear it's all the rage in nightclubs these days.
Thanks for a great laugh. Everyone at works thinks I'm nuts, but they already thought that.

Did the snake LIVE in the jar in his truck? Just curious, sounds like something I would do. My spider is still going strong on the back deck. She seems happy & worked so hard on that web. The plants will just have to wait.
Tally HO!! ROFL
little_dani
Original Author
16 years ago
The snake DID live in the jar. It was a big 5 gallon water jar, and it was fall and cooler temps. I never paid any attention to that jar, until the day I found it. I about wrecked the truck. I turned a corner a little fast, and the jar turned over and there was the snake!

I did make him get rid of it.

Janie

The adventures of Bob and Jane

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The adventures of Bob and Jane

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