Hi Denise. This has been coming for a few years. Every year I get more, lol
Mom felt the same way you do when I told her about the first one I got
I have mixed feelings. If it is a relative or close friend, I want a proper invite. If not, I guess an email is fine

hard to tell

my granddaddy was an engraver here in dallas when my mom was in college - while in that career, the current use of heat-expanded ink (to create a raised effect) was introduced - being an engraver, he and his peers referred to it as "fried printing" and considered it pedestrian or cheap - now, only truly well-to-do people actually get engraved invitations printed and "fried printing" is the norm

i agree with your surprise -

~ freshair

Yes, sort of surprising, but times are changing in this busy crowded world. Oh well ...

I've just recently gotten used to email greeting cards and have come to appreciate them. Also appreciate the engagement and wedding pictures and stories, etc. people now put on line to share.

Does anyone remember calling cards? I don't, but from what I've read they used to be the proper norm.

I know what calling cards are, but that was before my time. People used to have a dish in their entryway on a table where people would leave their calling card with their name and other pertinent information.

I have gotten used to the e-mail greeting cards also, but I guess I felt it was pushing it to send a wedding invitation via e-mail. Since I don't know the bride, I won't be going to the wedding.

Another thing I thought was tacky was when I got a thank you note via e-mail from my husband's cousin for a baby gift we sent to her. It wasn't even personalized to us. She wrote a generic thank you and blind copied everyone. Now that is lazy!

I personally think it's a major faux pax but not nearly as bad as sending the invitation out to casual acquaintences. It just screams "I don't like you well enough to send a proper invitation but feel free to send a gift anyway."

Denise, perhaps you should send her an e-card, Congratulating her on her wedding. Seems to me, that would be the proper response to an e-mail invitation.
Jim

I got my first wedding invite via e-mail about 7 years ago. From my son!! They were getting married in Vegas. His first marriage her second. I was just a little put out to say the least. But my Mom (rest her soul) who never owned a computer and never had an e-mail address, was really PO'd, because he didn't even bother to print one out and give it to her. She never did forgive him for not inviting her and my dad to his wedding. But, I haven't gotten one via e-mail since.

You will know when times have caught up, when you get a text message, and not even an email.

Perhaps I can help put it in perspective, for you, though.

A formal wedding, is primarily for royalty. (The original wedding gown color was red, you know.) As an event that was originally only for royalty, the ordinary person was always "putting on airs", to have a formal wedding, in the first place. Of course, over time, we all came to expect that was "the right thing to do".

Now, perhaps the casual nature of people, today, will make more and more people question the whole formal wedding thing, as just "foofuraw" (that's a mountain man word that basically implies a lot of to-do over nothing). Now we may see a lot more elopements, or J.P. marriages, followed by a celebratory party, after the honeymoon. I think that is a coming trend, in any event.

So, might as well expect changes in that whole "formal" wedding thing.

Denise,
I"m with Jim--send her an e-mail card and let it go at that.
If you are having a stand-up-before-the-minister wedding, and expect guests to get "gussied up" and attend, you should send out paper, hand-addressed invitations (not invites, that's a verb). And the thank-you notes should be the same. Of course, we are still waiting for the thank-you note from our nephew and his wife from the wedding three years ago. Maybe it got lost in the mail?

LOL! Great idea Jim.

TACKY! What next? Twitter? Face page?

I love Jims idea, just send one of those e-mail cards. Lots of sites have them free.
Tally HO!

when i hear of weddings (or anything related) that seems over the top to me, i remind myself that my grandparents married with the JP, out of town, with one sibling and sibling-in-law in attendance & zero foofuraw

they celebrated their 68th anniversary last month

~ freshair

What a lot of people are doing these days is inviting people through Facebook, setting up their entire wedding event on social networking sites using event applications.

I see nothing wrong with it, it's rather nice to be able to go to the event, rsvp, and see how things are progressing, find what they would like for the bridal shower, see their engagement pictures, and get tidbits of news etc like where they will be living. Especially if these people live far away from you and you don't get to see them regularly. That said, most people do still follow electronic invitations with formal invitations.

Some kids, however, are on a tight budget and simply cannot afford to spend hundreds of dollars on printing and mailing these.

I personally don't much care how I am invited, as long as the people that I care for do ask me to share their day with them.

"I personally don't much care how I am invited, as long as the people that I care for do ask me to share their day with them."

Amen, Sistah!

(&....

it's the green thing to do.)

that is rather odd, especially since you barely know her. it could be that she invited one or two good friends from the choir and then got caught up in the 'have to invite everyone from this group so no one gets their feelings hurt' drama. and then ran out of real invitations so sent out emails instead. haha. who knows what crazy thing got into her head. I think a lot of brides overanalyse the entire event. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Next Sunday, congratulate her on her upcoming nuptials and let her know unfortunately you have another engagement that day and won't be able to attend.

I guess when I see packs of print them yourself wedding invitation stationary for really cheap at the office supply store, why not put a little do it yourself effort into at least printing the invitations at home? That would certainly save quite a bit of money for those who might have a tight budget. Their wedding is at a Catholic church with priest, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. I do know who the couple is now (wasn't sure before but verified it with my choir director) and I think they could have at least mailed invitations, but that is just me. I'm old-fashioned with some things like weddings and yes, I do have relatives who eloped and were married many years. I do use technology for things to simplify my life, but when my sons marry, I will make sure their future wives mail invitations even if I have to help with that. The couple could at least use technology to print their own invitations. I do like Jim's idea and just might have to send them a congratulatory card via e-mail.

You did say that you didn't know her well and that she was new to the choir. It seems to me like maybe she likes her new acquaintances and would like to get to know you better. It's not necessary to give a gift every time. You could attend the wedding, take a few minutes to greet her, welcome her to married life, the church, the choir and invite her to call on you in the future when she and her new husband are settled.

Back in the good old days when calling cards were the norm, it was also considered an honor for a young bride to be invited to call on an "established matron" after her marriage. It was a matter of being accepted in local society. Not necessarily high society, but older folks were prepared to provide young marrieds with their wisdom and an occasional small gift. Young married women who eschewed the invitation were rarely if ever invited again. Now since this is 2009, and the young bride probably hasn't been raised to recognize the signs of graceful society, she might be forgivven if she doesn't come around.

But I think that through time, she may well come to recognize you as a wonderful person, and since you go to the same church you may still have opportunities to share the wisdom of your experience with her.

I printed mine up at work. Used my scrapbooking supplies and viola, homemade simple then mailed them out. Done free. My wedding is a backyard BBQ basically. I want to spend money on my family and friends eating well and having a nice relaxed time. And the rest of the money I dont spend will go into our home and more plants. Heehee. He is catholic and Im baptist. So we couldnt find a preacher who would blend. So we are using a friend who is ordained. Weddings are about family friends and the couple. Not how much I spend on the stuff.

Times are changing for sure. Traditions seem to go by the wayside more and more. I no longer take offense when the old norms aren't adhered to. On a personal note, I invited my entire graduating highschool class, even though it was 7 yrs. since I saw ANY of them. I just wanted to prove to them that some gal would marry me who was neither mentally nor visually impaired. Dear old Dad once told me, " Boy, you better marry a pretty or you'll screw up the whole family! " I did,,, and I love her dearly!! Cheers! Bill

Well, may b You didn't like that because its new for You. But this is casual these days. Its definitely a reasonable way then getting the cards printed and all. If its just the card way that prevents You from going, don't give it that 9mportance.

Here is a link that might be useful: wedding cards