I am so sorry you will not be able to be at Kate's swap. I would have loved to have had a chance to tour your garden as well. It looks so lovely. I hope this is nothing serious for you. We were to swap a seedling of the red orchid tree for a rooted Simpson stopper, please let me know what you would like to do.
Kathy

For those who haven't read the conversation pages, Kate has cancelled her swap, and told Anita that she was welcome to have the the whole thing at her place. I'm very surprised that Anita would cancel as well.

Kate has not had the easiest year, and I believe she was really looking forward to having everyone, but things were just growing and growing, and I believe it overwhelmed her. She was already worrying about not having her garden in good shape, but when she found out a tour was being considered even for Saturday afternoon, the day she wanted to spend with her friends, I think it just all hit her at once, and she decided to drop out. In her place, I think I might have felt that the initial afternoon swap at her house idea was becoming a non-event.

I have known Kate ever since I joined this group, and I'm feeling very sad on her behalf that this has happened. But there was really no need for Anita to cancel, as most of the activity was being planned there anyway.

I'm sure Kate felt that by dropping out, it would free everyone up to do the tours and things that Anita set up. Why does that have to be cancelled as well?

(Kate, I hope I'm not putting words in your mouth, here, but this is how I see what has happened. Please forgive me if I'm butting in.)

Confused and sad in Sanford,
Marcia

OK - everybody take a deep breath. In no way should Anita be made the bad guy in this story. She's been an enthusiastic participant from the beginning. Marcia, I appreciate what you are trying to do but it's not necessary and I'm afraid it will just make everyone feel badly about the whole thing. This was not a public issue and it wasn't your issue, but you made it one. Shame on you. Consider yourself chastized (and then forgiven because I know you were trying to help).

Yes, it's been a tough year and I've let you know some of what's happened but I don't want to be Katie Pitiful and hope I've not presented myself that way.

Here's the story:
Yes, I was excited about the swap and it gave me something fun to think about while dealing with not-so-fun personal things.
Yes, I have not had much time or energy to devote to the garden or to the swap (no plants started, etc.).
Yes, it did feel like it was turning into Anita's event.
No, Anita was not trying to "steal the swap" or anything like that.
All in all, it suddenly seemed to me that she was much more capable of putting on a good show than I was and I sent her an email today saying I was going to cancel and that I hoped she would jump in and 'save the day'. I've just had a year of feeling kind of old and kind of sad - not into putting on an 'event'. I was just looking forward to sitting around the yard with some garden friends.

I sincerely hope Anita reconsiders and has a swap. You all want one and she is the gardener to do it this time. I'll take the next one in the spring when both me and my garden are up for it.

It' Friday, Everyone go pour yourself a drink and stop taking life so seriously! It's short and you have to go for the fun whenever you can! Ricky said he was going to bring his butt to Orlando - don't you all want to see that?!?
Kate

Kate, thanks for posting how you feel. I really appreciate that and I think others will understand better now, and Anita will go ahead and have the swap at her place.

I AM sorry I spoke out of turn, and I do considered myself chastised, and won't do it again. Yes, I was trying to help both you and Anita move on with this, and trying to see that others still got to do what they wanted. But you are right, it was not my place to do so. I should not have tried to fix it, when it wasn't my situation. I'm glad you will forgive me for it. I meant well, in my own bumbling fashion.

I hope everyone else will just take it in the spirit it was meant. I'm still feeling sad in Sanford...

Marcia

It's so hard to communicate through the internet and sometimes things written look much different than they would in person. I hope no one has hard feelings or was hurt in all of this.

I don't know either Kate or Anita, but was looking forward to meeting both. I love to meet other gardeners. They're almost always really nice people.

I'd offer to host a swap at my house and would love to meet everyone, but I live in the middle of NOWHERE and I highly doubt anyone but the squirrels and rabbits and one elderly neighbor would ever find me :-)

Katkin, if you still want the epiphyllum cuttings, let me know. I can send you some.

Breathe easy, friends. There are more swaps to come, I'm sure.

Maureen

Kate and Marcia, you are true ladies!!! Kudos to you both!

Betsy

Well put,Maureen. I am confused anyway, I thought Kate's swap was on Sat and Anita's tour on Sun. But I could have things mixed up.

Kate I would never consider you pitiful, you are a strong woman and whatever has you a little down now will pass. You just need a little time, my friend. ;o)

Yes, I would love the epip cuttings. Please send me an email and we can set up the trade. katkin430@aol.com

Thank you, Betsy! I would never intentionally hurt Kate's feelings, as I consider her a special friend, nor did I intend to hurt Anita's feelings. I just wanted to explain what happened, but it wasn't my place to do so, and I DID make things worse.

Sometimes I speak without thinking it through, but I never realized it would sound like I was betraying a private matter. That wasn't my intention, and I'm greatful that Kate knows that. I would be heartbroken to lose her friendship.

I do hope Anita will go ahead and host the swap, so everyone will be able to continue with their plans. I'd hate for anyone to miss Ricky's butt!

Marcia

Im with Kathy katkins on this one..... I thought Sat ( day) at Kate`s , Saturday( night )at Anita`s..... Sunday ( day) tour of Anita`s and her friends yard. That is why I posted 21st with a question mark ! So I would know for sure.

Kate, hope to see your place next year ! Ive got coleus for you,Marica, Nicki , and Ginny !

D`Ann

I wasn't going to be able to go to this so it doesn't really concern me - and I am truly sorry to say that - but one thing caught my eye - "She was already worrying about not having her garden in good shape" - I'm exactly the same way and I wish I could remember how it is to visit someone else's place; I don't see the mulch that needs to be replenished, or the things that need to be moved or pruned or whatever when I visit! I'm the only one who sees that in my house and my garden, everyone else is impressed - and I think they're fools don't I?? :-) At someone else's home I know it's a work in progress and when I see something in someone else's garden that needs attention I don't feel so overwhelmed after all. What I will remember is their love and enthusiasm for their garden and new ideas I bring home with me for my garden.

Ok, sorry to have gotten off track, I've been distractable all week...

Suzanne

and I was looking forward to the slumber party with the ladies. Sylvia said she would not drive me but I told her
about Ricky bringing his butt and she was ready to go.
All I know is that you all are the best and I hope to have the privilege of meeting you all and becoming real friends.
cee ya all at the head shop.
Felix

Now what am I to do with all this s'mores making stuff! LOL!
Sorry things aren't working out. Staying with you was going to be just a little "icing on the cake"
Thanks for your generous offer.
Kat

Suzanne, well put. I feel the same way, because we are all human and life gets in the way of weeding sometimes. But I know I am guilty of the same thing, being afraid of the house not be clean enough or the garden not weeded. When the important thing is being with friends! We are all too hard on our selves and don't cut us the same slack we do our friends.

Felix, you are a riot and I really do hope to meet you one day, poor Sylvia. ;o)

I will be posting a call for invitations to our swap next week. Sorry that Kate's fell through, but sometimes life gets in the way. See you all in November!

Kate, sorry about the cancellation. It was such fun last time. Anita,I have quite a few cuttings you gave me. they're doing great in my yard.

I hope I get to see you in the spring. Have a lovely rest of the year.