I only have 8 roses, although 4 of them are climbers. I'm probably going all out on them this winter since I only have 8 and I bought them all potted this spring. Climbers: Red Eden White Eden New Dawn Zephirine Drouhin Shrubs: Graham Thomas Pat Austin William Shakespeare 2000 Belinda's Dream I have a relatively large oak tree in front of my house, so I am going to use oak leaves. I'm going to buy some chicken wire or the equivalent of it, then prep with winter fertilizer, dump a bag of top soil over the base of the rose, then place the chicken wire around the rose as a cylinder than fill it with the oak leaves. For the climbers, most people don't do anything. However, I am going to protect them as well as I am in a pretty stingy environement still and Red and White Eden havn't been widely tested in my area. This depends on how large the roses get this year, but I am going to dump a bag of top soil over the base, then chicken wire and put oak leaves around the base as well for the first couple feet...or however wide of a roll of chicen wire I buy. The remainder of the canes, I will wrap in burlap together. I don't expect my climbers to be any taller than 5ft this year though, so it's not very labor intensive. If they were mature huge climber like New Dawn, I would probably just dump a bag of soil over the base and leave it as it is as it would be a mature plant.

Couple of strong guys and an appliance hand truck and you should be fine. Don't let the weight and difficulty of a one-time move put you off cast iron - it's worth the effort! A buddy and I wrestled a 320lb cast iron tub by hand up a "winder" staircase for my remodel project just last weekend. I wouldn't want to do it again but I'm glad we stayed with the cast iron. (My buddy wasn't too amused when I called him the next day and told him that we needed to return the tub because it was the wrong model - can't understand why he lost his sense of humor over a little ole bathtub.) Dave

It sounds as if this kid wants to maintain an attachment with his dad's ex's and if the ex tried to schedule time with him, she should not have been told no. This kid seems to have been put through a lot of women in and out of his life and he may have trouble with trusting because of it. Even the one that he said was mean... he wants some sort of acknowledgment that it meant something. So far, all he sees is that the women in dad's life come & go... I wouldn't cut off one that hasn't cut him off. I might explain that people move on with things in their life, like new relationships & jobs, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love him any less... and maybe now she can only see him occasionally. Can't they exchange phone numbers or email & keep in touch that way? I know it's hard for you to have your DH's ex, who isn't even the mother to his child, in the picture at all. But, if she isn't interfering in your new life together, I would look at it like his long lost aunt that he wants to see him a few times a year. (the key words "AS LONG AS SHE ISN'T INTERFERING" in your life) And I would also tell her that if she makes plans, she needs to KEEP the plans because it hurts the child if she cancels & it disrupts YOUR life, which IS interfering. And I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but your feelings are not as important as the child's feelings... in this regard: You are an adult. You are capable of thinking rationally and objectively. He is a child. He has had more than his share of women come & go, he may not really believe you are permanent. The fact that he asked about her after a long period where you thought he had moved on, only shows that he still thinks about it after all this time. He may not talk about it, but he will continue to think about it and wonder if relationships are just temporary things.. his parents marriage was.. his dad's ex's were.. maybe his mom has had a few too.. For that reason, I think it's important for you to put your (valid) feelings aside and do what you can to facilitate a relationship to continue between the child and his exSM...

I agree with almost all of what has been written above. YOU need to fix it NOW. You're 3.9 years overdue, plus your girls are at a particularly nasty age. It'll be ten times as hard now as it would have been 4 years ago. Sit them both down in a place with no distractions and lay down the law. I'd try it with both together, but if that won't work, divide and conquer. Maybe talk to them in the car at the side of the road or in a parking lot (stomping distance from home?) -- whatever it takes to get them to listen. Keep your rules simple and short, and set the bar realistically low. In other words, they are not required to be nice, but are absolutely required to be civil. Dinner will be eaten together at the family table, and anyone who doesn't want to eat, doesn't eat. (Period. Get a cheap plastic locker and padlock if needed.) All questions will be answered in a polite manner. (Ask Hubby to keep them minimal at first.) Make a written list of your rules and post them on the wall. Also pre-determine consequences for breaking the rules -- loss of computer, phone, gaming, TV, iPod, piano, activities -- and FOLLOW THROUGH. Make your punishments short but severe. Since their behavior has become habitual, maybe come up with a 'warning' signal you can give them so that they can turn it around before losing a privilege. Now on the BioDad. He needs to understand that by encouraging them to behave that way, he is turning his children into little monsters. They are already disrespecting you; it won't be long before they turn their disrespect on HIM. And on anyone else who displeases them -- teachers, friends, coworkers and bosses. He is doing them NO FAVOR and actually causing them quite a bit of damage. You may want to gather some hard evidence of Dad's support before launching your 'fix' campaign. Why? Because I'm guessing YOU will not be able to change Dad's mind, no matter how persuasive your speech, because a Dad who does that isn't thinking clearly. But try to persuade him. Give him a chance and ask for his help in turning the girls' behavior around. Maybe write him an email? Several? And if he refuses, drag his butt into court because a judge will straighten him out pretty quick. Family court judges see this kind of thing a lot and have very little tolerance for this kind of carp. Maybe ask for court-ordered counselling and compliance monitoring? Or ask that if Dad won't comply, that he lose unsupervised contact with the girls? Frankly, I'm surprised your husband has put up with this as long as he has.