No-Blow to slow down the fast opening flowers

And what about the product that protects hair color from fading in the sun. Some of my pastel roses bleach out in the summer.

But the one I want the most is Waft Tastic. We have such low humidity and one time there was some unusual weather that caused my roses to waft perfume in the late day breeze and into the evening. I loved it.

Not really a "rose product", but related. The Victor Electronic Rat Trap works like a charm. Now, I want as efficient versions of it for moles, gophers, rabbits and squirrels. Kim

I want a hose that NEVER kinks and comes when I pull it.
I want garden gloves that are thin, resist water, and don't get holes so fast.
I want a weeder that is easy to spot when I lay it down. I have lost so many weeders in my small garden. Even the one with the red handle.
I also want kitty's No-Blow! Fantastic idea.

Hmmm I want:

The Instant Temporary Thorn Retractor with handy remote.

The Light-Up Prune Here Indicator

The Rust & Old Leaf Begone Vacuum.

And the Mature Sizing for your Zone Tool

I'd like a 'sucker be gone' spray for those roses that seem to put out more suckers than actual canes.

Maybe a switch on a rose that would retract all the thorns while you are working on it.

I like the idea of an old leaf vac. I actually tap my rose bushes if they have a lot of old or yellowing leaves on them in the hopes of knocking them off.

Maybe special glasses that would allow you to see thrips when they are first on the buds so you could hopefully do something about it.

Kathy, get some of that landscaping spray paint (bright orange) and spray your handles. I promise you will be able to see them. Also, I have a 25 ft curly hose that works perfectly for watering. The heavy hose stays on the path and the curly hose goes into the bed with me. It is lightweight, easy to move around, and doesn't mash or slash canes and plants.
I want the "no blow" and the "sun protectant" too!
Susan

For the husband: a homing device that magnetically zooms back to their rightful places all the tools and debris he walks off and forgets laying in the yard. Grrrr.

OOO OOO - this is SO fun. I want EVERYONE's ideas!!! And I LOVE your names.

I want Gopher Finder. Like the Fish Finders available for fishing boats, that show fish under the water. You walk through the garden with your hand held device, and find out where the gophers are.

Gopher Post Destroyer - once you find the gophers, you drive this through the ground into the hole (pointed end like a t-post). Once implanted, you detonate the device which has a gas bomb (or - pick your poison) into the hole.

Rosecavator - a hydraulic tool that you place around the perimeter of a rose that you want to dig up, and it excavates it for you.

MutantPlantRemover - mix a sample of the DNA of the specific plant - like MINT, it mutates to kill only the plant with that DNA, then you just put a drop on one of the leaves, and it travels throughout the root path to kill it. Hmmm - that may be a little too dangerous...

A Time Machine

Me maybe a little younger, but bands fast forwarded to blooming size.

This is too funny. I would like an instant armadillo incinerator, so the moment an armadillo enters my yard he goes up in smoke.

Instant soil improver pellet with nematode eradicator so I could just drop one in each planting hole and have perfect rose soil.

Automatic cane trainers that automatically whip canes into place and tie them to the arbor.

I would like one of everyone else's devices, except perhaps the gopher products. We don't have gophers here.

Floridarosez, I shall go right in and fax you one, dead, squashed gopher. He took up residence under my Sunshine standard last night, as he wasn't there yesterday afternoon. I flushed him out with the hose and did my interpretation of the "Mexican Hat Dance" on his soggy carcass! What a rush!

For your nematodes, per ARS literature of the mid seventies, a generous mulch of and incorporation into the soil of ground pine bark, can "cleanse" your soil of the nematodes. If you'd like to message me through here with your email address, I'll be happy to send you scans of the articles. Kim

I want RoseAlert, an implantable microchip (like for dogs and cats) that you can read with your cellphone, so that when you lose the #$!@* flimsy tag the rose came with and it's winter and you have no idea whether it's Belinda's Dream or Queen Elizabeth or Mr. Lincoln, it can tell you.
Embedded in a cane, the chip would also keep track of the last time you pruned and fertilized (and whether it was with Mills Mix or Osmocote), and whether the roots were getting too much water or not enough. (It's never just right, is it?)

Kay

PS: Would it be too much to ask that it also point you toward the blind shoots as well?

The Embaressothon, which automatically handcuffs anyone stealing flowers out of your garden to the nearest light pole.

That's a sight I would loved to have seen, Kim. I eagerly anticipate receipt of your gopher. I bet my Dobie will love squashed gopher for dinner.

I want Duck & Cover so all of my plants will be able to survive the hubby's help with the yard work.

insta' sun so I can happily water all things flower in the perfect evenings.

And everyone else's!!

Onedrew, I think that one may have actual potential....you'd just have to figure out how not to prune the cane with the chip in it.

I would love to have "Quail Scram", a device to be placed in the garden that emits a high pitched squeal heard only by quail, just as they are about to rip to shreds some poor little emerging plant, and sends the offending quail scurrying off down the hill.
I would also like a "Convert-a-Pruner" , a handy device that would turn all those defective, useless pruners accumulating in my garage, the ones that simply don't cut cleanly, or whose locking mechanisms fall off, etc, etc, into useful kitchen gadgets, such as can openers, spatulas, meat tenderizers, the sky's the limit.
Diane

I'd like "Deer Barrier" an invisible, magic deterrent that works around your whole perimeter to keep deer out and doesn't involve electronic fences, stinky repellents or ugly devices that don't work.

Perfect soil just add water - Limb locator would help. Also, self applying fertilizer would be great. Blackspot be gone would be a godsend.
Andrew

I want a whistle that will make me the Pied Piper of all the pesty insects that eat what they shouldn't be eating ... blow the whistle and they follow me out of the garden and into a trash bag.

I also want a Suck and Shoot vacuum cleaner that I can run through the yard after the leaves fall which will automatically suck up, chop and compost the leaves. Then I can walk back around the yard and point and shoot the perfect mulch exactly where I want it.

I want to go ahead and place an order for onederw's Rose Alert. Do you take paypal?

I want a whistle that will make me the Pied Piper of all the pesty insects that eat what they shouldn't be eating ... blow the whistle and they follow me out of the garden and into a trash bag.

I also want a Suck and Shoot vacuum cleaner that I can run through the yard after the leaves fall which will automatically suck up, chop and compost the leaves. Then I can walk back around the yard and point and shoot the perfect mulch exactly where I want it.

I want to go ahead and place an order for onederw's Rose Alert. Do you take paypal?

I'd like all of the above except the armadillo and deer gizmos since I have neither problem. Double up on my order of gopher be gone since I hate the little things so much. In my hot garden I'd also like a device that makes roses bloom perfect, non-frying blooms all through the long summer and a pointing wand which I can direct at the rose bed that will water them without actually using any of our precious water or my precious time. A magic ring that will prevent blackspot and mildew whenever I visit the garden (which is every single day more than once) and an instant weed-eradicator. That's all for now and I really don't think I'm asking for too much.

One more essential item: A magic Correct Rose Producer which will invariably ensure that the nursery in question will have every single rose that you want, will never be out or promise to have it later, will not have to custom propagate or make you order from the only other, of course hideously expensive nursery, that carries the rose you simply must have.

Oh, this is such fun!! I snorted my calming evening tea at picturing Kim dancing the Mexican Gopher dance (Kim, can you send video along with the gophers?) Along with the Rosecavator we need an Autoscoop that predigs your new rose hole even in rocky or solid clay soil. And I'd buy the RoseAlert in a heartbeat to figure out my mystery roses. In the meantime, we have GardenWeb (smile). Here are a few more:

Thornzout - to extract rose thorns embedded in your various body parts, including heels from stepping on loose canes

GeigerRose - to locate those wayward rose trimmings that dropped out of your pruning buckets before you, your kids, and your husband step on them in bare feet

Sayonara- to once and for all eliminate those Japanese Beetles

RedSea - to magically part the roses you've planted too closely so you can pick/smell/prune the tall ones at the back

BlackHole - to make more space where you really have none because you simply MUST have that new variety

VolumeControl - to crank up the volume of the bloom cycle just in time for that special party, wedding, brag session...

ChrissieRose - you have to remember Chrissie dolls to appreciate this name - a button you can push in the rose's "stomach" to instantly lengthen or shorten its canes to the desired height or length, and change both when your mood changes

RoseMixer - a mixer panel to get that ideal color combination across the entire garden ("let's bring up the lavender and scale back the apricot").

Keep 'em coming, folks, and we'll see if we can interest any enterprising inventors.

Cynthia

89 year old mom devised her own gopher getter yesterday..the transplanting shovel. Poor gopher did not know what hit him...the second-third-forth times

Gopher had decided to try and test my wire around the little purple rose we were given that has been struggling and is finally leafing out.

This post was edited by Kippy-the-Hippy on Sat, Apr 27, 13 at 1:17

That works, Kippy! I simply used a pair of size ten and a half sneakers to do mine in. I was worried he'd get away and I had less than an hour before harborrose would arrive to visit, so I just stomped the life out of him. Worked like a charm! Kim

Of course a watering system that would keep each plant watered to perfection at all times. But, for those of us who are control freaks, a remote Rose Check system phone app that lets us scan our gardens, with the ability to press a number to specifically add water to any that we see are wilting.

What's scary about this is that it's obvious a lot of us have been giving huge amounts of thought to this for quite sometime. I think there's been a whole lot of daydreaming going on and not enough gardening.

How about a black spot vaccine? When roses are little bands, they are given and injection or drink that causes their little immune systems to kick into overdrive and keep them immune to the nasty stuff for the rest of their lives. Another vaccine that keeps away Japanese beetles and aphids would be nice, too.

It's pouring down rain here so a good time to check email and dream a little, too, floridarosez.

Well, I don't even have that excuse. The weather is lovely down here.