Thanks for posting this. I laughed until I cried!!! Who ARE these people anyway?

I think some goofy Amazon reviewers are professional writers who like to amuse people. If you google, "funniest Amazon reviews, you'll see more crazy faked reviews."

Treehugger: I found the complete chemical analysis of Azomite. Here's the link: http://www.azomite.com/resources/coa.pdf

Azomite is complex silica ore (hydrated sodium calcium aluminosilicate) with up to 70 trace minerals mined from Utah mineral deposit. Silica is known to strengthen cell wall against diseases. There's a rose-research paper entitled, "Potassium Silicate to prevent black spot infestation." If you look at the above link, you'll see Azomite has 65.85% silica, 5.23% potassium oxide, 3.67% calcium oxide, and 1.37% ferric oxide (iron). However, all these are in oxide form, VERY ALKALINE, thus remain solids, unless there's ACID to dissolve that. I'm a bit concerned with Azomite high number of 900 for fluorine ... not sure what that does to plants. But the anti-fungal trace elements look good: 29 for boron, 22 cobalt, 2.6 nickel, 64 zinc, 12 copper, and I'm not sure how 859 Lithium will do to plants .. will look that up. Rule of thumb: if not sure, then experiment.

I heard all great things about Milorganite (sewage sludge) for lawn and roses. I tested it on my lawn. BIG DISASTER: it broke my lawn-fertilizer-spreader, I had to buy another one at $40. Plus weeds were all over my lawn. I tested Milorganite (recycled human-poop) on roses: it was a black spot-fest, thanks to the 4% iron. My roses are much healthier getting nitrogen from alfalfa with zero salt, and less stinky too.

Here's my Radio Times rose (pink), and Mary Magdalene (white), both fertilized with horse manure for trace elements, plus alfalfa meal for nitrogen. Balanced and low-salt fertilizer produce the best quality blooms:

With my last disaster experimenting with Milorganite, I double-check on everything before trying it out. I CANNOT find any evidence that Azomite helps with fungal diseases, and I'm concerned with Azomite's high numbers with troublesome chemicals: 859 for Lithium (compared to 64 for anti-fungal zinc). Also Azomite's high number of 900 for Fluorine. We get plenty of fluorine in our tap water, and I had seen the damage it can do to house plants, see pic. in this link: Fluoride toxicity in plants

Also Azomite sodium content is troublesome. I can see Azomite's benefit in sandy soil, without much minerals ... but I doubt its benefit in my heavy clay, already too much minerals. What makes plants grow lush and green? Take a Tropical Forest, filled with decayed organic matter, zero salt. I don't picture Utah being a lush & green place, and that's where Azomite come from.

One product I like is Calamine Lotion, $1.49 a bottle. When I broke out in rash from eating shrimp, or wine ... Calamine lotion soothe the itch best. When I got poison ivy, Calamine lotion helped more than the prescribed crème. Recently my kid broke out in rash with Secret underarm deodorant. I told her to use Calamine lotion for the rash. Not only her rash went away, no more stinky armpit ... WORKS MUCH BETTER than any underarm deodorant.

Calamine lotion has 8% zinc oxide. Zinc kills both bacteria and fungi. Zinc dries up skin well. Zinc oxide is also the ingredient in baby-diaper-lotion. I spent 1 day (at least 4 hours) reading thousands of Amazon reviews on many deodorant, including the organic, or natural ones. People reported that the "rock-type" of deodorant (with chemicals & minerals to kill germs) worked initially at first, then IT DOESN'T WORK anymore. Then it dawned on me that people rub the same rock, day in & day out, the bacteria just pass on daily, or mutate to get used to the chemicals. Without my microbiology class in college, I would not had realized that.

Not only that, Secret deodorant has lotion, and the oil nourish the bacteria even more. The organic types even have coconut oil, beewax, sugar, etc... stuff that nourish bacteria even more, or encourage yeast and fungal growth. There are many reports of rash, armpits that turn black .. fungal growth with underarm deodorant.

So I asked my kid to use a CLEAN paper towel, put Calamine lotion, then rub on her armpits. She also THROW AWAY that piece of paper, to prevent bacterial contamination THE NEXT DAY. It works wonder !! No more stinky armpits & less sweating. Secret deodorant DID NOT WORK for her, not only she broke out in rash, the perfume was also stinky, and IT DIDN'T HELP her to sweat less. Will research on the other ingredients in Calamine, besides zinc oxide: 8% Calamine, Bentonite magma, calcium hydroxide, and glycerin. Hopefully I can find some use for roses.

Zinc oxide is basic (alkaline, thus a solid). There's a soil research which stated that as the pH increases (alkaline), less fungi, and as the pH decreases (slightly acidic), more fungal growth. Below pH 4, less of both.

One other ingredient of Calamine lotion: Calcium hydroxide. That is used to treat water since it's VERY alkaline, which kills both bacteria and fungi. I store my hard well tap water (pH 8.5) in the basement for 5 years, still smell clean, no mold nor odor. Calcium hydroxide is harmful to plants since being basic, it binds with trace minerals, causing chlorosis (yellowing). Calcium hydroxide is unstable, drastically raise the pH, and cause clay soil to harden, plus forming insoluble compounds with phosphorus and potassium. Without these 2 elements, roses can't bloom. When I watered my roses with tap water, and use horse manure (deodorized with lime) ... my roses were healthy, but very little blooms.

Info. from Wikipedia on Calamine: "Zinc oxide as a mixture with about 0.5% iron(III) oxide (Fe2O3) is called calamine and is used in calamine lotion Zinc oxide is widely used to treat a variety of other skin conditions, in products such as baby powder and barrier creams to treat diaper rashes, calamine cream, anti-dandruff shampoos, and antiseptic ointments.[42][59] It is also a component in tape (called "zinc oxide tape") used by athletes as a bandage to prevent soft tissue damage during workouts. "Zinc oxide can be used in ointments, creams, and lotions to protect against sunburn and other damage to the skin caused by ultraviolet light (see sunscreen) ...Zinc oxide nanoparticles can enhance the antibacterial activity of Ciprofloxacin ."

*** The other ingredients of Calamine lotion: Bentonite, is a highly-absorbent clay. From Wikipedia "Bentonite can also be used as a desiccant (drying material) due to its adsorption properties.".

LOL at your opening post Straw! Been busy today! We are get Blizzard like weather so lots of snow shoveling... Its my birthday & I'm pooped! lol... I hope everyone had a good Valentines Day...

Happy birthday to you Jim .. Your birthday is in Feb. 14, Valentine? That's so fitting, since you bring lots of love & happiness to people around you. My husband caught a cold .. he's very miserable today. Thank God the snow storm escaped us in Northern Illinois, so NO snow shoveling here.

Thanks Straw! Yep today Valentines Day is my BD...lol... My wifes son birthday is also today...lol What's the odds....lol

That means you are spiritually destined .. your wife is blessed with love from both. My kid's birthday comes 1st in Sept, then mine is exactly 1 week after, then husband's is also exactly one week after mine. No regrets ordering more roses, I get to know the neighbors better when I give them cut-blooms. People don't know each other like the old days anymore, there's always account of someone dying alone in an apartment or house, and no one know.

Got that right Straw on getting to know neighbors better... My neice has the same birthday as my wifes daughter also...lol My uncle has the same birthday as my wifes dad... Crazy isn't it...lol

Hi Jim: Getting to know neighbors is important. Few summers ago, our side of the street lost electricity for 4 hours, but people across the street still had their power on. So I went to my neighbor across the street to borrow her microwave to defrost a frozen dinner for my kid. Later on our refrigerator broke down, my husband fixed it ... but I had to put my food in the neighbor's refrigerators. One neighbor's washing machine broke down, and they had to travel far to get it washed.

One product bad for roses: salt in chemical fertilizer, also salt in sewage sludge (milorganite), and salt in horse manure. Salt drives down potassium. However, salt is VERY USEFUL in lessening a cold. My kid caught a cold Feb. 6. Her cold lasted 1 day: she had fever & took a nap. I gave her Brewer's yeast & buckwheat honey & milk .. and her cold was gone the next day. My husband got it worse: 2 weeks of bloody nose, coughing .. he took daytime cold medicine (with caffeine), plus night-time cold medicine (Acetaminophen which suppress fever).

What I learned from my microbiology professor: skip the cold medicine that suppress fever, since fever is nature's way of raising the temp. to kill the virus. She told the class to rinse their throat with very-salty-water at the 1st sign of a cold. Here's an article from New York Times: Gargle with salt water for colds "A sore, itchy throat and respiratory congestion are some of the more common symptoms of a cold, and gargling with salt water seems to help for several reasons. A saline solution can draw excess fluid from inflamed tissues in the throat, making them hurt less, said Dr. Philip T. Hagen, editor in chief of the “Mayo Clinic Book of Home Remedies,” which is due out in October. Dr. Hagen pointed out that gargling also loosens thick mucus, which can remove irritants like allergens, bacteria and fungi from the throat.

In a randomized study published in The American Journal of Preventive Medicine in 2005, researchers recruited almost 400 healthy volunteers and followed them for 60 days during cold and flu season. Some of the subjects were told to gargle three times a day. At the end of the study period, the group that regularly gargled had a nearly 40 percent decrease in upper respiratory tract infections compared with the control group, and when they did get sick, “gargling tended to attenuate bronchial symptoms,” the researchers wrote.

Other studies have also found gargling helpful against sore throats and congestion.

According to the Mayo Clinic, for best results, dissolve half a teaspoon of salt in a full glass of warm water and gargle the solution for a few seconds before spitting it out. Adults who want a more palatable remedy against cough and sore throat can try mixing warm water with lemon and honey. No need to spit it out."

**** From Straw: I use more salt than the above to make sure it's strong enough to kill a broad-spectrum of bacteria and virus. I felt a sore throat last evening (Feb 21). Still energetic, but I immediately gargle with salty water. I ran a fever during the night, piled up blankets. I woke up at 7 am, gargle with salt, and I'm fine now as I drink brewer's yeast & buckwheat honey & milk. Buckwheat honey has been tested to be more effective than cough medicine. Brewer's yeast has been proven in studies to shorten the duration of cold, plus boosting immune system. This got to be the mildest one-night cold that I had ever experienced, the salt-gargle is VERY EFFECTIVE in stopping prolonged sore throat. WebMD on buckwheat honey

What Brewer's yeast does is to help sleep easier, and deep sleep is the best way to boost immune system, unlike day-time cold medicine (with caffeine) which destroys sleep. Brewer's yeast is laxative like magnesium. Once a person is able to "go", thus get rid of toxins, the cold is lessened.

Great posts! :)

I asked my husband this morning to check my head if I have a fever ... he said, "Nope, your head feels cold." So I beat my overnight fever. When I read the article again, it says to gargle 3 times a day .. for 60 days to prevent cold. It's worth it, considering how my mouth feels so clean afterwards. I use Hain's sea salt, the taste is more pleasant than regular salt, which has sodium silicoalluminate, which makes it harsh & acrid both for cooking and for gargling.

It was 8 years since my last cold. This cold is mild for me, but awful for my kid & hubby. She missed 1 day of school on Feb. 6, but got stressed out to the max. She was up until 1 am coughing for a few days afterwards. My hubby had it worst: 2 weeks of runny rose and coughing.

I caught it Sat night, Feb. 21, one night of fever, no coughing, no runny nose .. it's over quickly thanks to the salt-gargle plus I was able to "go" with Brewer's yeast. I figured out why we caught cold: the brownie I made for them for lunch .. chocolate is very constipating. I normally have Brewer's yeast & soy milk every day, but I skipped for 3 weeks ... I made for them instead, plus we're out of milk, and it's too cold to shop at -7 below zero.

Mistake #1: buying French bread, zero fiber. Mistake #2: buying Kefir .. it has 12 strains of bacteria, and 11 gram of protein per cup. But dairy is constipating. There's NO studies that prove Kefir helps cold like with Brewer's yeast. Didn't realize how constipating dairy is until I checked with WebMD. Other constipating foods: chocolate, bananas, black tea. Constipating medicine: antihistamine, blood pressure medication, antacid with calcium. Conditions that cause constipation: diabetes, hypothyroid.

Before I came down with a cold Sat night, it was preceded by constipation & stinky gas. If the gut fails to remove toxin, the immune system goes down. One friend used to complain loudly that he wished his girlfriend would stop giving him chocolates, since he caught a cold every time. When I was in my early 30's, a gal friend used to give me chocolate for Christmas, and I came down with a cold twice afterwards ... so I asked her to stop that.

The buckwheat honey plus soymilk neutralized the bitterness of brewer's yeast best. Brewer's yeast is a laxative like magnesium.

Good link below from medicine.net on what food cause constipation (caffeine, dairy, red meat, chocolate, banana) and foods that help (whole grains, beans, kiwi, prune, pears).

constipation foods to avoid & foods that help

8 years without a cold Straw... WOW!

Glad this cold of yours is mild... Great info Straw!

Hi Jim: Germs are everywhere, I used to go shopping on Sat, until I read the recommendation of a microbiologist to shop on WEEKDAYS, with less people, and less cold. One of the reason why I went for 8 yr. without a cold: I shopped on weekdays. Consider that my kid caught the cold on Feb. 6 (from school), then my husband kept it going for 2 weeks, and when my immune system was down with constipation from dairy (drinking kefir), I came down with the cold on Feb. 21.

Hi Jim: Please let me know how that goes. I honestly don't think cold-climate people can lose weight in the winter. I need my extra 5 lbs. for insulation in this many degrees below zero. If we are meant to lose weight in the winter, why are polar bears so fat ?

Blood test went well... I will results March 3rd at my doctors appt.

Good question on the polar bears...lol... I have only gained this winter like a big chunky Polar Bear...lol