Sometimes it's hard to have sympathy for consequences of some acts
2 years ago
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Experience is a Big Fat Liar (Sometimes)
Comments (74)Mr. Clint, I'm not trying to chase you off, just try to make you understand your ability to crank out food comparatively easy for 365 days a year is a direct function of where you live, not from colossal cultural practices. Yes there are some tried and true methods of agriculture that have been around for ages that continue to be practiced and help in the struggle - crop rotation, trashy cultivation, trap crops, etc. But keep in mind none of the "natural" methods was rarely ever the sole means for protecting crops under Midwest conditions. Along with all that timeless advice, it was not uncommon for lead arsenate, Paris green, and other nasty things to be used to protect food crops. All I'm saying is here growing food is more of a battle and aged agricultural principles, although they may help, won't take care of the problem. Heck, last summer an orchard near here lost 100% of its apple crop due to fungus (black rot I believe). Seriously, I'm on their email list (as part of the Kansas Fruit Growers) and they sent an email indicating they canceled all sales. It is more of a battle to grow food here. Farmers around here have experienced it. Dare I mention it, but even the "evil" chemical companies market their crop protectants accordingly (Warrior, Pounce, Ambush, Assail, Stinger, etc.) I'm sure you'll argue the chemical companies are just doing that to keep the war mentality going, but I disagree. They are appealing to experiences that are already there (i.e. losing a whole apple crop to fungus) That growing food here is more challenging doesn't automatically make it unenjoyable. Perhaps an analogy would be rock climbing. It can be very difficult along the way, but can also be rewarding if successful....See MoreConsequences......
Comments (11)I don't feel sorry for this BM that you were id'd and assumed to be SS's mom. That part was totally acceptable and natural...you are the children's daily functioning mom, the lady who is raising them day in and day out 24/7. The lady who is there for them through all the good times and hard times. You've more than earned the title. I'd not feel guitly one twit for being assumed to be and thought to be their mother. With that said, I would have introduced the other lady standing with me staring at us. Nope, not 'oh, I'm not _____'s mom blah blah' , but merely something simple like '_______ this is ________ (first name). If pushed by SS I might have brought myself to say a bit more but nothing more additional than 'This is ______, ________'s biological mother, I'm Mom (just as if it were really your first name) and the children live with their father and I'...and let it go. Move on, dismiss any further acknowledgement and continue your chat with SS's friend's mother. Even the kid ran up and called you 'Mom' to his mom. Even SS did not correct the other woman's acknowledemnt of you being 'Mom". It's a given. BM has earned no special honor of introduction, no special acknowledgement other than the lady standing next to you. It's just common manners to usually introduce those standing/sitting next to you when somebody comes up to speak. Odds of BM ever seeing or talking to this lady again are pretty zilch. Odds of this other lady caring about you only being a 'stepmom' or ever giving the stranger she met another thought are likely even less than zilch. You don't owe BM anything special other than maybe acknowledgement of existing beside you, and only because she is standing beside you...just like you probably would have done if she were a very causal friend who happned to come by and sit by you at an event. Would have given you a total free pass if/or when BM crys boo-hoo to Grandma (her mother) or your DH and pretends she was delibrately slighted or treated rude. She was not. It's not your problem or fault others mistake you for 'Mom', think of you as 'Mom', and treat you as 'Mom'. It is what it is, you're 'Mom'....See MoreSympathy Letters
Comments (29)My DS had two 'best friends' from early grammar school on. Coins were flipped to determine who would be 'best man' at each one's wedding. One of these 'boys' died suddenly in late summer two years ago, leaving a widow and two children under 10. When I wrote to his parents, who live some distance from us, I spoke of the close connection and of the major (positive) role they and their son held in our lives. I also sent a card that Thanksgiving and at Christmas. (We don't 'do' cards in general.) Our DS traveled to their home in advance of the funeral and has kept in touch. I had never met this young man's wife, nor his children. To them, I sent a card with just a few lines of sympathy. We asked to be notified when a fund was set up for the family, expecting to contribute generously. Eventually, his parents responded that they'd unexpectedly discovered that their son had a large insurance policy -- no help needed beyond our continuing friendship. They were great parents, and he was a fine person. I would only go this far towards someone I had known and liked very well for some time....See MoreI need some sympathy, and a vent
Comments (55)Well, it’s a new day and things are much, much better. I went to see the doctor early this morning and it turns out I have a piece of calcium that’s broken off in my shoulder, causing a great deal of pain. However, he gave me a steroid shot and that should help relieve the pain. I hope. The plumber came and installed a new toilet, no problem, yesterday afternoon, although I did get a comfort height toilet, and my powder room is already teeny tiny so its a tight squeeze. It’s fine. My friend came and sat in the house until the chair arrived. I walked through the door coming home from my appointment and it was only five minutes later that the chair was delivered so it all worked out very well. As I thought might happen, my surgery is postponed until March 20. That gives me lots more time to prepare and I feel more relaxed about it. Rhododendron, you have really been through it with your injury! I hope the end is in sight. Once again, thank you all. Your words of encouragement really helped....See More- 2 years ago
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