I need some sympathy, and a vent
3 years ago
last modified: 3 years ago
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Vent: Need some motivation or something...and need a grow light
Comments (3)otnorot--I have a cym outside; very stingy as well (no spikes this year). I have a mini-catt intergeneric that I was thinking of putting outside this year so it could have more light (it hasn't been happy since I got it about a year ago) but most stay inside. At ten indoor plants, I don't think I have that many. ;-) Beautiful photo, thanks for the inspiration. What is the watering secret to catts (mine has never been happy and only has a couple roots now)? calvin_orchidlover--I will look for T5s, thanks. I think my tallest orchid is a brassia intergeneric. I took an "inventory" last night, after I posted my vent, and it actually seems okay in it's new home, just covered in drywall dust that I washed off. It has continued to grow during winter with no crinkled leaves AND has a new pbulb growing (that was a surprise). I may not move it back. The other larger plants can sit in front of my now-smaller window, and the rest would probably fit under the cabinets if the light is thin enough. I feel like such a whiner b/c the new kitchen is nice. As for foliage plants, I never truly gave them up. I have several pothos, a very happy marantas, some sans, aglaonema etc. Thanks for the responses :-)...See MoreRecent storm damage - need sympathy
Comments (13)Thanks, Flowerlady & Mora. The MGs were Heavenly Blue and you are right, I will have time to repair the arbor before spring. Since I previously lived in So FL, I know all too well about the damage of hurricanes. This was really a tiny bump in the road by comparison. Just didn't expect it to go down, since the wind should have passed right through it. . .Live and learn. Thanks for your support - I'm feeling better already! :) rosebush...See MoreNeed to vent and some opinions....
Comments (22)Here is my "update" dabunch - No, the house was not in Simsbury, Avon or Farmington. (think the other direction, East Granby, Suffield, Granby) also thanks for the info. on comps and the demand here in CT. Good info. to have! On Friday I did go to the town hall and pulled the field card and did a bit of research on the Cape I like. It appraised at 212,900 in 2003 and the the town is in the midst of an assessment. The addition is on the field card and permits were pulled. They also had paid off the mortgage on the house last fall and then took out another mortgage right around the same time - but not for the full price of the home. Our offer is above the amount of that mortage. (my thoughts - the house appraised with regard to that loan higher last August/Sept. and that is what they based thier asking price on). The RR in the same neighborhood now has a deposit pending as of this weekend. (asking was $264,900) I mentioned this house b/c it also had new roof, water heater, updated kitchen but with granite, similar s/f, lot size and also the sellers realtor is the one who mentioned it as a comp. The 'other cape' was also mentioned as a comp. but is on a busier road - it had some updating done but not as current as the Cape I made the offer on. It has one additional room but one less bedroom - larger s/f and lot size. (asking is 289,900). I do like it but I have 3 small children and don't want to be on a busier road (I am spoiled from having just sold a house on a road that had 3 houses on an 'extension' of a street. We had no traffic b/c unless it was my two neighbors no one came down the road.) With regard to my offer - after checking comps with my realtor and checking into the two houses above mentioned by sellers realtor, noting the lack of the garage and considering the market - we made an offer - 12% under asking price. We had some wiggle room and knew they were motivated but wanted to see how much - especially since they had a deposit down on the sellers 'dream house' they didn't want to lose and was told numerous times that they were motivated and that b/c we would not have a house to sell that THAT would be a huge plus. (As I said, the realtor called our realtor before we even got home from the open house to answer a question we had and reitereated this to him.) We made the offer and that is when they came down $4K on thier asking price. We countered and they never responded - after 4 days we had our realtor call them and ask for a response or advise that the offer was off the table as of 3pm that day. No response. My realtor said we made good offers and that he told sellers realtor this - and that she agreed. With regard to the report I had my realtor run with respect to houses in the towns I'm looking at that showed original prices and selling price - it showed houses selling between 25-35K under list price. There are houses on the market since last fall as well as early 2008 that have yet to have a price drop. When we listed my realtor explained the market to us (even though I was well aware) and said that a price reduction would be discussed at various intervals depending on activity. My thoughts are that the owners did some bigger improvements in the past few years thinking the market would stay as it was - and now they are trying to recoup what they put into it. Also, they had an open house after being on the market 3 weeks and we made our offer the next day. They are waiting to see if a better offer comes - I don't blame them. Having just sold myself - I've been in thier shoes. So that is where we stand. The house is still available at the OP and DH and I are moving on with our search but loosly watching this house in the event the price drops....See MoreNeed to vent and get some advice!
Comments (11)The move doesn't seem to be an issue that is causing conflict. It seems like BM wants to be in control and my suggestion is to get an agreement in writing that is enforceable. If dad is the one that's being reasonable & willing to cooperate, then he could let mom write up the terms to her liking and sign the agreement. At least, then they would have something that SHE came up with so SHE can't argue or change it. He would know what to expect and it would make her feel like she has some control of the situation. It's a power struggle and it takes two to keep it going. If you refuse to argue about anything, then it's no longer fun for her. If her goal is to phase dad out of the child's life, then she is making a mistake and that is probably why she keeps losing time. Going to court is expensive and if you can write an agreement, that's the best thing to do. In our case, my SD's mom moved 150 miles away & signed over custody less than a month after we had a trial that cost us over $10k and gave both parent's 50%. Now, three months later, her daughter has settled down (she's had to have lots of counseling for initial behavior problems) She had to change school (and had problems the first month or so) & is just making new friends and her mom is coaching her to let mom have her back. She wants Dad to let her take their child 2 hours away, have to start a new school there, make new friends and sleep on the floor because she is now living in a one bedroom with her new BF. (The one bedroom is set up for new BF's daughter that visits and new BF has two sons that sleep in the living room) and mom doesn't think this is any problem. It would be a wonderful if all bio mom's were created equally (and dads, and step parents, and children too) but they aren't and if all of the above would realize that what is best for children is to live without conflict, then some of these situations would be easier. After all, adults can get a divorce if there is too much conflict but kids can't. Their parent's are always going to be their parents. and studies show that the best thing for a child is to have the greatest community of people that love & care for them, whether it's parents, grandparents, step parents, other relatives, teachers or mentors. You wouldn't refuse to let your child go to school (or change schools) if they liked a teacher and said the teacher was more fun than you. at least I would hope not. The bottom line is that the decisions should be based on what is best for the child. If a parent is "demanding" or "unreasonable" then they are not thinking about what is best for their child, they are engaging in a battle with the other parent at the expense of the children. If the other parent wants what's best for the child, they will cease fire and take the conflict out of their child's life. It may mean sacrifice and if the offending parent is willing to deny their child time with the other parent, the child will grow up to resent THAT parent, not the parent that lost the time. Eventually, the child will decide who they will continue to have a relationship with as an adult. If both parents keep the conflict going, the child is going to cut both of them out or end up in a very dysfunctional life of her own. And history will repeat itself....See More- 3 years ago
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